Tw Swearing - Tumblr Posts
The next time you've got a friend over, set an example and put your phone on the table, visibly there but not too far away, to let them know that you're intentionally present, not distracted, your attention is undivided and you want to be fully focused on being right there to spend time with them. Don't mention it or draw attention to this, you're not doing this to be preachy or wanting praise, you just want to be a good friend and you value your friend's time. Ideally, your friend will either notice this or even pick it up without conscious notice, and set their own phone aside on the table as well.
Then, when your friend takes a minute to go to the bathroom, grab your phone and take a photo of your friend's phone sitting on your table. Do not touch it, and put your own phone back exactly where it was immediately once you've got the picture. Carry on with whatever you two were doing.
Once your time is up and your friend has left for home, wait for a good 15 minutes or so, for them to either get back home or be well on their way there. Text your friend, "hey, you forgot your phone", and send them the photo you took of their phone on your table. Set a stopwatch running from the moment your friend sees the message.
Measure how many seconds it takes for your friend to process this and tell you to go fuck yourself.
Y'all who love depicting Ghost King Danny as an eldritch being in DPxDC crossovers, i have a plothole to offer to you, and then my favorite pastime - the solution making the plothole look like an intentional part of the interior design
The plothole: why are y'all making 'eldritch being' part of a Ghost King's attributes when Pariah Dark never showed anything like it at any point of time????
The solution: lmao y'all i present to you the Thor Ragnarok headcanon, in which the Crown and Ring and Ghost King status don't actually make anyone eldritch, they just make it easier to focus what's already there
So basically
Danny: but i don't have the crown and ring anymore how can i beat them i'd have to like. go full eldritch horror for that
Clockwork: and you can, now that you have done it enough times with assistance. the king accessories only draw out what is already there, make it easier to acess, but the core of it is you. you can do this danny :)
Danny:
Danny: I WAS AN ELDRITCH HORROR FROM THE START????
CW: *cocks gun* always have been ...what do you think happens when a 100% complete undamaged child soul goes out and then supernova in an explosion of ectoplasm? You're the equivalent of a black hole Danny, of course you're a primordial being
Danny:
bc of my crack fic people have been sending me every manner of Grinch x Tony the Tiger headcanon……who wants to hear the one that finally snapped me like a tennis player’s tendon
every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt
Whumpril 2023
Pleasure in Pain #6
Day 3: “Hold still.”
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I feel like I’m being so mean to Cordova… sorry not sorry.
Contents: TW blood, TW swearing, TW fear, Threatened with Burning, Vampire Whumpee, Whumper Turned Whumpee, Failed Escape Attempt, Mentions of Amputation, Carewhumper, Defiant Whumpee.
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Cordova, although practically forced into unconsciousness, had his first rest since he had arrived. Unbeknownst to him, Rojan was sitting on a chair across from him, he didn’t wake up to the door opening. Rojan considered forcing the vampire awake, but Lilith made it clear that there shouldn’t be any pain today. Even though he agreed to that, he couldn’t believe that she was willing to give this pipsqueak pigs blood. Its probably because he’s younger.
Rojan got up and walked around Cordova to asses the injuries. Any sign that he was ever burned was gone, no sign of burnt flesh anywhere. He saw the two amputated feet and realized how quickly he was regenerating. Lilith said she cut just above the ankle, and yet I can already see the heel of both his feet. That’s fast for a vampire who hasn’t been given a consistent source of blood. Is it because he’s young or is it something else?
Cordova stirred. He tried to pull his hands up but was stopped by the restraints. His eyes felt like they were forced to stay closed, but his mind was awake. He could hear footsteps walking around him, soon stopping next to his right side.
“Hey, wake up.”
Cordova recognized Rojans voice and his head turned to his left side as if trying to avoid him. His body tensed and his hands balled into fists. Even if he could open his eyes, he didn’t want to now. He just wanted to stay asleep, nothing happened when he was asleep.
“Cordova, I’m not gonna hurt you, don’t worry. My wife already chewed me out about it. Look I have something for you.”
Cordova carefully opened his eyes as he looked towards Rojan. His eyes immediately darted to the bag of blood in hand. He could tell it wasn’t human, but it was blood. Saliva started to build up at the mere sight of it.
“Now I’m going to take the restraints on your hands off. If you don’t do anything stupid, then you can have this whole bag, got it?”
Cordova’s eyes were practically sparkling as he nodded his head. Rojan took off the first restraint. Cordova could feel his hand betray him as it immediately tried to reach out, but he found the will to stop himself. Rojan chuckled, then made his way over to the other side. He took the restrain off and Corodva couldn’t help but immediately sit up straight. He looked at his wrists, his skin was droopy and loose, pigmented with hot red. He didn’t realize how relieving it would be for the restraints to be off, he had gone numb to the pain but it felt amazing to have them off.
“Sooo, you want this right?”
Rojan shook the bag in front of Cordova. He couldn’t take it anymore. With lightning fast accuracy, Cordova stripped the bag away from Rojan before he could even think. He sunk into the bag and drained it within seconds. His breathing was erratic and his hands were shaking. Rojan looked towards Cordova’s feet and saw them regenerate within the minute. Rojan was fascinated, normally vampires weren’t effected by pigs blood and only ever healed from human blood, it was more of a way to satiate their hunger, but Cordova showed signs of healing from other factors.
“Incredible…”
Cordova was starting to calm down and soon noticed his now intact body. He felt amazing. The pigs blood didn’t taste great but it made him feel just like human blood did. He started to feel energized. Rojan must have noticed it too.
“Alright, time to go back down.”
Cordova’s eyes went wide. His hands were free and all he needed to do was free his ankles… this is a perfect opportunity. “No.” Cordova growled and shoved Rojan as hard as he could. He flew across the room until his back hit the wall. He immediately got to work on his ankles. The palms of his hands touching the silver seared his skin making him hiss in pain. He forced himself to get past the pain and managed to break the restraint on his right leg. He started to get to work on his left leg, but was stopped by Rojans voice.
“Hold still.”
Cordova looked up and saw Rojan standing next to the lever. He froze and stopped immediately. His heart started to pound out of his chest. He was so distracted with escaping that he hadn’t noticed Rojan get up.
“I heard you had a panic attack just from the mere thought of the sun, if it scares you that much then I suggest you lie back down or else I’ll leave you burning for hours.”
Cordova pulled his arms towards his chest protectively as his breathing became labored. He slightly shook his head. Rojan could see his pleading eyes making a grin appear on his face.
“Then lay the fuck back down, or so help me god.”
The vampires shivering body slowly reclined back and he laid flat on the table. He stared at the ceiling with terror, hoping that it wouldn’t move a single inch. Then Rojan appeared to his right, but he didn’t dare to look at him.
“I can’t believe you fucking broke one of the restraints. You know what we’re going to have to do right?”
Cordova finally looked at Rojan with a confused expression, one underlined with fear. Wouldn’t it have been enough to just restrain my hands again?
“We’re going to have to cut off your entire leg.”
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Date: April 3, 2023
Taglist: @turn-the-tables-on-them @whumpril
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Dysphoria is kicking our ass today, and we just woke up an hour ago.
Today's gonna be fun. /sarc
- Max / Kenneth
Front: Evan (xe/they)
*sophie almost burning down exillium*
Red coach:
Blue coach:
Purple coach: fuck
Wip of subspace i will not be finishing (i meant to not use that colour on the hair and use it on the mask, oopsie)
Image ID:
An unfinished sketch of a personalized design of Subspace from Phighting! He is drawn with dark blue messy hair. He has his mask on and the 2 sets of horns- also in his typical outfit, with the dark blue accents. He is also wearing blue gloves and has a grub-like tail. He also has antennae with ends in the shape of his crystal. His hands are crossed across his chest. In the bottom left corner, there is an uncoloured sketch of him with his mask off, and a thumb up, exclaiming: “I phucked upp!!” This is all drawn in a scenecore-like style (both.)
they are having alil meetup:3
I found a new pass time called "make whatever these are on google slides"
I'll take recommendations too
Muffet and So Sorry cosplaying as Sans and Papyrus.
Ik I joke around to my friends and family about not being able to sleep on my side, but it really fucking sucks.
Cuz like, sleeping on your side feels so much more natural and comfortable than sleeping sitting up. I've been unable to sleep on my side without waking up extremely nauseous for well over a year now, and it hasn't gotten any better.
I've tried this medication, I've tried that medication, I've tried this diet, I've tried that diet, I've tried sleeping in different parts of the house, I've tried sleeping on my back, I've tried sleeping on my stomach, and nothing works.
And I've been told countless times by people that "You should really sleep in your own bed.", and "It's not good for you to be always sleeping on the couch.", and "(In a rude, know it all tone) But why would you sleep in your bed? You seem perfectly fine sleeping on the couch.", as if they don't understand its not a fucking choice for me.
Sure, I can sleep in my bed, but I'll wake up at 2am feeling like I'm one ill-timed blink away from vomiting. And with my emetophobia, that's not gonna cut it.
I just wanna rip my stomach out of my body and ask it what the fuck it thinks it's doing.
Tw. Gore(?)
You know what would fix me? What would solve all my problems? What would cure my mental state?
I need to tear the skin off my face.
I can't explain it, but I often feel a HUGE urge to claw at my skin and peel it from my bones. I need to tear at my flesh until there is nothing but bone, then rip out my eyeballs and throw them away, then carve at my skull until my brain is exposed so I can tear that from it's base as well and crush it within my bare hands.
I need to bite at my arms and legs to tear off chunks of skin so I can feel the stinging pain while I drink my blood. I need to hurt in ways I get queasy even thinking about.
But sadly my weak, mortal flesh and mind prevent me from doing this. I am forced to keep living in this body, with all my flaws, failures, and anxieties. No matter what I do, I'll never be a different person and will be stuck in this same fucked up body for the rest of my pathetic life.
And I don't know why, but I really feel like peeling skin off my skull will help, at least a bit
PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who get this urge/feeling 😭😭
*In the middle of a battle between Hotel crew and the Vees*
Charlie: okay.. I just need to calm down. We’re all trying our best. Just gotta ÇåŁm dØŵ— AAHH TO HELL WITH THIS SHIT!!!!! CAN’T YOU DUMBASSES DO ANYTHING RIGHT
Everyone: *gasps*
Vaggie: Charlie just calm down. Everyone trying their best—
Charlie: WELL WE CAN’T JUST ALWAYS RELAY ON GOOD INTENTIONS VAGGIE!!! Oh Cherri’s out of control but we can’t blame her BECAUSE SHE HAD GOOD INTENTIONS!!!
Angel dust: woah Charlie chill—
Charlie: OH OKAY DUUDDE!!! WOULDNT WANT YOU TO HAVE A COW MAANN!!! Hey here something you say to people on street instead trying to get into heaven ‘hey buddy got ANY ALCOHOL!!!
Angel dust: wow you are pissed
Nifty: ms. Charlie with all due respect, angel didn’t do anything.
Charlie: oh do I hear the sound of butting in, it gotta be little nifty, hell’s answer to a question THAT NO ONE ASKED!!!
Velvette: ha!
Charlie: what do we have here? The most useless of the Vees!! ALL THE SOULS YOU’VE GAINED WAS A BUNCH OF OVERZEALOUS INFLUENCERS!!!
Vox: oh man, influencers, I gotta write that down.
Charlie: oh yeah the tv, the only one of these bafoons that isn’t entertaining!!
Charlie *sees lute and a group exorcist angels*: AND AS FOR YOU!!! I DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT YOU OR WHY YOU’RE HERE BUT I KNOW YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!!!
Lute: um, I just got here. what’s happening??
Charlie*facing Val*: you stupid, ugly, hate-filled moth!!
Val: HEY!! I may be stupid, ugly, and hate-filled but I- um what was the fourth thing you said?
Alastor: why do I feel like I’m next
Charlie: *turns head 180 degrees towards Alastor*
Alastor *in mind*: I suddenly feel a wave of fear
Charlie: Alastor… you are the worst human being I have ever met.
Alastor: hey I got off pretty easy.
I'm bisexual which means I'm attracted to this guy who has autism and has been doing well for years
YA'LL I FUCKIN CANT
I'm asexual which means I'm attracted to the exit.
Well...I mean...accurate?
IMPORTANT NEWS
GUY'S HOLY SHIT I GOT THE TOP POSTERS BADGE THINGY
EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR ME BITCH!!
*while looking at jay and zane* GET WRAPPED IN A BLANKET BURRITO MOTHERFUCKER
the ninjago fandom is genuinely allergic to happiness.