Yeonjun Drabbles - Tumblr Posts

Healing

pairing; yeonjun x reader

warnings; fluff, insecurities, angst, reader feeling not good about themselves, physical appearance, boyfriend yeonjun being cute, words of affirmations, comforting, showering, negative thoughts, cuteness!

words; 1k

a/n: for myself and everyone else who feels the same way and need comforting. ❣ likes/comments/reblogs are appreciated ☺

summary; you've been neglecting yourself, crippled by insecurities which causes you to distance yourself a little from your boyfriend yeonjun. but for how long?

You don't remember when your own thoughts started to consume you. Little by little, a staggering gush of water that carried each of your insecurities forming a tremendous flooding.

A flooding that doesn't require people to let notice of prior nor detects its danger. Why?

Because it's made way to your vessels, the comfort of your body, building it's way up until it feels uneasy. Sinking each of your organs and most of your brain. Alas, it's nothing new for you. These types of flooding have always occurred within you many times.

Slowly you've welcomed these moments of floods, some particularly more usual than other days. And today was one of those days too.

I feel ugly

I feel worthless

I'm not good enough

I'm never pretty enough

I don't fit the standards of beauty

Do I deserve to feel happy

Ugly

Your mind is corrupted by these thoughts so often. Some of your own and some of others. Growing up, always experiencing the rough side of things which includes your appearance. Attacked constantly for how you looked, being told you're not good enough and you'd never find anyone to be with you.

Although it's been years, they still visit you. Sometimes when you just admire your boyfriend Yeonjun, they creep up and deliver whispers inside of you. It doesn't help with your boyfriend is the most gorgeous man you've ever laid your eyes on.

The one that steals everyone's attention by just simply existing, whereas you were the one who people acted like didn't exist.

It's not his fault, no. As much as he's attractive as ever, he has his moments of insecurities too which you've always kissed away.

You haven't realised you've slowly neglected yourself. Sure, you still get up and do certain things in the day but it feels burdensome. Though, you may have unknowingly distanced yourself from the one you truly loved.

Yeonjun

"Yeonjunie wants cuddles," Yeonjun babbled with his soft voice. His arms already making it's way to your waist, pushing his warmth on to you your back. He moves his face on your neck, trying to get a reaction out of you.

It's a bit late in the night, with Yeonjun just returning home. He had practice and today he felt so knackered. All he thought of was running back to you and cuddling.

He nozzles his nose further more, hands tightening at your waist, "Y/N, are you sleeping?" He quietly asked.

No response.

"I'm sorry I came home late we had so much to learn today," He explained whilst yawning mid way, "All I kept thinking of was coming home to my princess and giving you a big fat cuddle."

He noticed you gave no movements yet still spoke on, "But seems like you already sleeping," Yeonjun kissed the back of your head, "Good night baby have the sweetest dreams."

After a while, you opened your eyes. A tear escapes as it sinks down your face. You weren't sleeping. You was awake. You felt guilty with a heavy heart. The fact that your boyfriend wanted to cuddle you and you resisted, purely because your stupid mind thinks you don't deserve him.

He's way too good for you.

Even though his touch made you falter for a minute, you froze to talk. And then it all come flooding down.

Your behaviour only becomes apparent as days go by. When he initiates touch, you somehow redraw yourself or make yourself so busy that he doesn't have to ask. And somehow, you thought it'll work.

Not today.

You was walking until you heard Yeonjun calling out your name, "Y/N, I need help." He shouted from the bathroom. So you made your way there thinking what could be happening.

As you entered the room, you saw him in the shower with a hand on his eyes, "What happened?" You asked in concern. Making your way closer to him until he drags you inside with him.

"Yeonjun-"

"I missed you princess." He murmured against your neck, with his body engulfing yours. You almost forgot how nice it felt having him this close. Hearing the words come out of your boyfriend's mouth instantly forming guilt.

You tried to change the subject while you looked to the side, "I thought something serious happened with you-''

He lifted his finger above your chin, making sure your facing him directly. Something you've been avoiding these days too.

"Is you not running away from me serious, Y/N?" He asked, holding your gaze. You felt a sharp pain in your heart hearing these words come out from him.

He wasn't annoyed but more so had a worried look, which softened as he goes on. "What's going on, my beloved? Speak to me, let your thoughts flow like this water, I promise you won't drown, I'm here."

You know you can't escape him for any longer. The soft nature of your boyfriend has yet again made your heart burst. How dare your mind play these tricks on you when someone cares about you so deeply?

"I'm sorry Yeonjun, I'm s-o s-sorry." You stuttered, bursting into tears instantly. You knew this was wrong of you to do yet you listened to your mind all these times. "The thoughts i k-keep having, not feeling good enough, feeling ugly, not deserving of you." You blurt out, letting the flood in your mind out once and for all.

Yeonjun's heart broke hearing your words, knowing you've been carrying this weight all by yourself. He instantly grabbed the shampoo pouring it over his hands, then lightly massaging your scalp.

It felt relaxing, probably the best you've felt for all these days you've had.

"It's okay to have these thoughts," He affirms, continuing to massage in deeper with his bare hands. "But do you know they ain't coming from you but someone else?" He questions, making you confused.

"Coming from who?"

"Donald trump." He replied, making you open your eyes and laugh out loud.

"Babe that makes no sense, how?" You chuckled, seeing the glint in your eyes made him so happy so he continues further.

"Well, think of each negative thought that comes. Imagine Donald trump is the voice in your head saying these things, what would you respond to him?" He asks.

"I'd tell him to fuck off-"

"Exactly! Tell that orange oompa loompa to fuck himself!" He giggles, letting his hands make it way to your body, applying soap all over.

His hands felt so heavenly on your skin, all you could think of was the feeling of comfort and the laughter of what he mentioned surrounding you both.

For once, your worries that were huge waves become quiet. The flow decreases vastly, instead of feeling like a flood it passes you gently like a simple wave in the ocean.

You let the wave pass through your entire body, acknowledging what it is and letting it go.

Yeonjun knows of your insecurities, yet he's never let you feel alone with them. He noticed you've been neglecting yourself with everything being untouched, including your skin products. So he planned this out, to shower you with his gentle comforting and soft kisses he grazes against your skin as the water washes past.

That's how much he loves you.

You both got out and he grabbed a towel, patting you dry before you put your fresh pajamas on.

He sits in front of you as he grabs your moisturiser, rubbing it against his hands before he applied directly on to your face.

What did you do to deserve a sweetheart like him?

His hands delicately touch your face, removing away any tensions or stress within your mind. Almost like his hands have the power of a healer, anything he touches he heals.

This moment he's healing you. He's your healer.

"Thank you so much." You whispered, feeling ever so grateful for having such an attentive boyfriend. "I've been so terrible with you, babe."

But Yeonjon just smiles.

"I love you Y/N, so much that you're all I ever think of day and night. You consume my mind and thoughts even on the lesser brighter days and in those moments, I hold on to them stronger. Because when I see your smile and cute giggles, I instantly feel better." He expresses out loud with joy, his expression becoming softer. "Share your sadness with me Y/N because I'm selfish, I never want you to feel alone. Even in your bad thoughts."

Your eyes began to tear up hearing the confession of your boyfriend. He has a heart of pure gold, whatever he says or touches turns to a positive light. Sending warmth all over your way like a ray of sun.

You immediately leaned over and hugged him. His scent from the shower still lingers radiating comfort. You let yourself embrace fully into him for the days you couldn't, how soft and cute your boyfriend feels.

He pulls back, making you stay seated infront of you as he shares contact with your eyes intensely.

"Look in to my eyes." He orders.

Your expression was confused yet cute to him, he knows how much you struggle to look into his eyes but today he will make sure of it.

"B-but why?" You hesitated.

"Sweetheart just look, come closer." He responds with a small smile, watching you lean in to him but not so much. So his hands grab on to you, pulling you faster against him. Now all you can see is his mesmerising eyes.

"Do you see that?" He asks, patiently waiting.

You felt like you was in a trance, his eyes were extremely magnatising you as each second passes. He was shining, He was so beautiful.

"The way your reflection shines through my eyes, the sparkle of yourself in me that's only visible through my eyes, that's how you look to me. Multiple stars that rush their ways into my eyes just to witness your beauty, because you hold my universe."

You gasped hearing the sweet words laced with honey by your boyfriend. His eyes smiled and grew more in admiration of your beautiful self. All you could see yourself in his eyes was, you.

Feeling butterflies forming already, "Yeonjun, you are so so cute. And adorable and my god I have no words but thank you ever so much for being so kind with me and gentle. For understanding me and taking care of me."

He admires the way you speak, he does this all truly because he loves you. A lot. "You're cuter." He teased, "Y/N you mean the world to me. I'd do anything to make you feel ease." He comforted.

His eyes continue to linger down to your lips, as he places a quick peck on your lip. Then above your nose and to your forehead. Your heart was racing, feeling fuzzy from the gentle kisses.

"I love you, Yeonjunie." You embraced him tightly within your hold, as he did with you too. Never wanting to let him go ever again.

"I love you, Y/N."

do not copy, plagiarise translate my works or ideas. copyright ©2023 softie00

dirty ― c.yeonjun x f.reader

wc: 2.9k

genre: smut, slight fluff

cw: protected sex, fingering, penetration, dom!yeonjun, sub!reader,

summary: you and your friends hang out, and when you get hurt, yeonjun takes care of you. however, things take a different turn with the tension building up between you both, hopefully no one notices.

a/n: my first smut post, hope you enjoy it!

your night wasn't supposed to turn out like this, the initial plan was to hang-out with your friends and watch a movie. however, most of them canceled and it ended up being just you, soobin, and his friend yeonjun.

you had talked to yeonjun a few times, but it never went on for too long. you usually just talked to soobin and made sure to share a polite greeting or small talk with the other.

that wasn't the case today.

after a few minutes of hanging out as a group, soobin left to go buy some ramyeon. meanwhile, you and yeonjun shared a nice conversation while preparing the snacks for the movie. turns out you both had many things in common, and really hit it off!

you never cared about yeonjun that much, although you did catch yourself admiring his handsome looks more than once. especially with his new haircut, a black colored short mullet. it suited him perfectly, and you thought it gave him a wild messy look, which you had to admit, you liked a lot.

"the popcorn's almost ready. we should go get soobin." you inform yeonjun as you check on the pot filled with little popcorn bits.

"alright, let me grab soobin and we can get started with the movie." he agreed, headed towards the door.

a loud yelp erupted from you, making him stop in his tracks, quickly looking back to find you crouching next to the stove. you were blowing softly into your hand, trying to soothe the burn in your left palm.

"what's happened?!" yeonjun ran to crouch by your side, searching after your eyes, confused as to what hurt you.

"i tried to push the pot to a corner of the stove, to move the popcorn into a bowl, but the handle was burning. it's dumb really, i should've known." you admit. then, as you look up, you meet his concerned stare. somehow, the way he showed his concern made you feel better.

"hey, it can happen." he replies, his eyes leaving yours to observe the red spot on your palm.

"i guess." you sigh, gathering yourself and standing up slowly.

"let's go to the bathroom, there's a first-aid kit there." he proposed as he stood back up as well, walking to the hall. you nodded and followed along, thinking it was indeed a good choice.

once you got there, yeonjun told you to sit on the toilet seat in order to treat your wound more easily. he grabbed some bandages and a small tube of cream from the first-aid kit, getting on his knees in front of you.

"show me." he ordered.

reaching your hand out, you pointed at the red spot with a pitiful expression. it was like he was helping a hurt puppy, with the way your eyes shined, tears threatening to spill.

"i'm gonna put some cream on it, and then i'm gonna wrap your hand with a small bandage. okay?" he explained, holding your hand closer to him, his other one holding a small q-tip with cream. again, you nodded and observed attentively.

"ah!" you winced, the light pressure of the q-tip already stinging. this time, you couldn't help but let out a small tear. it wasn't really that you couldn't take it, but your body reacted on it's own.

"shhh. i just started y/n." he said, focusing on finishing the application. once he finished applying your cream, he proceeded to gently wrap a bandage around your palm. what you didn't know was that he sneaked a few glances at your teary eyes, surprised by how adorable you looked. were you always this cute?

"thank you." you say looking down at him while he packs the bandages back into the first-aid kit. he looked really good, kneeling in front of you, his bangs falling perfectly onto his forehead. you weren't sure why, but this moment of his really got to you.

"no problem, just make sure you're careful next time." he answered, looking back at you. as he looked at you, his eyes trailed down to observe you in detail. the way your skirt laid on your soft thighs, covering just about enough to make him want more, the way your delicate hands rested on your lap, every bit of you looked so innocent and sweet.

"is there something on my skirt?" you asked, looking down at it, slightly lifting it to get a better view of it. as you lifted your skirt, ever so slightly, yeonjun catched a glimpse of your underwear. the soft fabric that covered your most intimate spot, made his mind spin, unable to focus any longer. he wasn't sure what it was about you, but everything you did, had him hooked.

"what? no, sorry." yeonjun said as he cleared his throat and looked away, trying his best to maintain his composure. you didn't think much of it and let your skirt fall back down.

you then tried to sit up from the toilet seat by pushing yourself up with your hands, but as you did that, forgetting your wound, you failed and fell down. this clumsy mishap ended up giving you a new seat, yeonjun's lap.

you both didn't say a word as you stared at each other, dumbfounded. you were definitely seeing yeonjun in a different way, but you didn't plan to end up in this position so abruptly. on the other end of it, yeonjun was hoping nothing else that could trouble his thoughts further would happen. nevertheless, things were going differently.

"y/n-" the boy called as his breath hitched, his body reacting at once. he had to admit, he didn't hate how things were going, but he wanted to know you were in the same place about it.

"i- i didn't mean to do that-" you blurted out, your cheeks burning up and your thoughts running wild. if you thought seeing him kneeling down in front you was a nice view, this was a heavenly sight. yeonjun's chest was rising up and down slowly, his cheeks pink, and his eyes shining in anticipation.

"just- don't move-" yeonjun pleaded, grabbing your side to keep you in place, scared of what might happen if you kept moving around. he was already half hard from seeing you earlier.

meanwhile, you were starting to get aroused too. you could feel yeonjun's bulge from underneath you, big and warm. you didn't know what to think or what to do. but you knew you wanted to do something about the growing sexual tension between you both. you had felt it for a little while now, and it was driving you crazy.

"yeonjun... can this go further?" you asked, looking into his eyes in search for an answer.

the moment those words left your lips, something snapped in him. he wasn't gonna stop himself anymore. you wanted him, and he wanted you.his eyes went dark, the noticeable shift in him making you more excited.

"yeah? is that what you want?" he cooed, grabbing your waist with both hands, bringing you closer to him. "for me to fuck you?" he purred into your ear.

"please-" you asked of him, placing your hands on the back of his neck, giving him your best puppy eyes.

"beg for it." he demanded, even though he was just as eager as you, waiting to ruin you completely.

"please yeonjun. please fuck me." you begged, not caring about how pathetic you sounded or looked, needing to be touched by him.

"good girl." he praised before lifting up your skirt, getting an even better view of the underwear he saw before. he smiles, noticing the wet patch forming on them.

"that's cute." he commented, staring at your crotch, planning his next move. you gazed at him, waiting impatiently, until you saw him bring his fingers up to his mouth. he stuck one, then two of his fingers into it, sinfully sucking on them as he stared back at you, not once breaking eye contact.

running out of patience, yeonjun removed his fingers from his mouth to bring them down between your legs, pushing your panties aside. he started to rub his digits against your core, he was desperate, but he still wanted to have his fun. you immediately reacted to his touch, sucking in a sharp breath.

"please don't tease-" you implored impatiently. you also had your fair share of waiting and built up tension, especially with his whole finger sucking act, you couldn't bear teasing right now.

taking the hint, yeonjun pushed one of his fingers inside you moving it in and out slowly. your pussy was a wet mess and it drenched his fingers as he added another one. his eyes fixated on them, entranced by the way you kept sucking him back in.

"fuck. all for me?" he inquired with a frown of his eyebrows, fascinated. his dick twitched in his pants as he kept working his fingers inside you, enticing soft whimpers from you.

"yeonjun —hah! so good-" you moaned, pulling him by his shirt, needing him closer to you, as if he would get separated from you any second.

"baby, look at the mess you made~" yeonjun commented as he pulled his fingers out of you, making you whine at the loss of contact, until he brought them up to your face. "wanna help me clean them up?"

you hesitated for a second, surprised by the lewdness of it all, you hadn't really done things this messy before. it all felt so dirty, and it turned you on even more. you approached his fingers and started to lick them, moving them inside your mouth to suck on them. the sight was delightful, yeonjun getting amazed by this lewd image of you, his cock aching for release.

"shit-" he cursed as he kept his eyes on you. he moved his other hand down to his sweatpants, lowering them just enough for his cock to spring out, slapping his abdomen. he took a condom out of his pocket, opening it and dragging it on himself smoothly.

once he moved his hand away from your mouth, you immediately peered down to see his cock, finally freed. his tip was red and leaking a bit of pre-cum, his dick was so pretty, you couldn't take your eyes off of it.

"enjoying the view?" he questioned with a small smirk to the side, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. god, he was unreal.

"you have such a pretty dick, yeonjun." you smiled at him, having a flash of confidence. his cheeks turned into a deeper pink, and his confidence was instantly boosted. he was going to ravage you.

"go to the sink and bend over." he commanded, standing up and taking his shirt off, revealing his toned abdomen and supple skin. you followed his command without hesitation, starved for his touch. you couldn't wait any longer.

yeonjun placed himself behind you, his pants still on but lowered just enough for his member to comfortably be out. he grabbed your hip with one hand, using his other one to align himself with your entrance. you sighed at the moment you felt his tip prod at your entrance, feeling yourself grow even more wet by the second.

"ah- fuck y/n-" he moaned once he allowed himself to fully sink inside you, without giving you time to adjust to his size, his hips started top snap rythmically against you. "i-i can't hold back any longer-" he stuttered as he rammed into you mercilessly.

unable to mutter a single word, you managed only to moan disconnectedly, grabbing onto the sink for leverage. his pace was rough, and he hit you deeper with each thrust he landed. you started to think he was gonna break you with how hard he was hammering into you.

looking up into the reflection of the mirror, barely being able to hold your head up, you were met with a lewd expression on yeonjun's face. he was staring back at you, his brows furrowed, his mouth slightly parted, the corners of it lifting up in a barely noticeable way. it felt obscene to watch as he pounded into you from behind, making you recoil with every push and pull of his dick.

suddenly, the sound of the front door opening up made you both freeze, looking at each other in the reflection, your eyes wide open. your breaths were erratic and you were both glistening in sweat, but as much as you admired the state you both found yourselves in, you couldn't help but panic at the thought of soobin being back.

yeonjun reached behind him with his arm and locked the door silently. neither of you said a word, fearing that soobin might hear something.

"guys?" soobin called out from the living room, confused as to where you both went.

just as you were catching your breath, doing your best at staying still, you felt yeonjun buck up into you, hitting you deeply.

"mmh-" you moaned softly, your eyes almost shutting close.

"shh baby. you don't want him to hear you, do you?" yeonjun whispered after grabbing a fist full of your hair, pulling you close to him. his chest pressed up against your back, his dick still pulsating inside you.

"jun- please-" you plead in a barely audible tone.

his lips crashed against yours, devouring you like a starved man. his tongue made its way into your mouth, exploring it carelessly. his kisses were rough, making you whine into his mouth as he resumed his abuse to your drenched core, hammering into you savagely.

"hello?! are you guys here?!" soobin called out again, starting to get annoyed.

but soobin was kicked out of your thoughts, you could only focus on the rough fuck that yeonjun was delivering to you. using his dancer skills to his advantage, his hips slapped yours without a stop, keeping a steady rythm. the knot in your stomach started to feel like it was going to snap, and you were not going to last long.

"you gonna come angel?" he whispered as he noticed the trembling and erratic jolts of your legs. "do it. fucking soak me."

your orgasm hit you like a truck, the knot snapping as soon as he commanded you to do so, as if it was yeonjun that controlled your body completely. your moans were fortunately muffled by yeonjun's hand covering your mouth, all while he still fucked himself into you, not letting you ride out your high correctly.

"they really left without telling me..." soobin groaned, grabbing his keys and leaving.

"you're so good baby- so fucking good-" he praised, his voice breaking up as he felt his high approach him too. his pace started to falter, his hands grabbing onto your sides with bruising strength. "'i'm sorry-" he apologized, being aware of the fact that he was fully overstimulating you.

with one last sharp thrust to your cunt, he came. filling the condom up with his seed, making you feel it deep inside you., his hot breath unstable against your neck as he came down from his orgasm.

he pulled out of you slowly, allowing you both catch your breaths. then he took the condom off carefully, throwing it in the trash next to the sink.

"i guess this means we won't be eating any ramyeon tonight." he chuckled softly while leaning against the door and zipping his pants up, admiring you as you re-arranged yourself.

"oh shit! soobin! i forgot!" you exclaimed, remembering your poor friend who you left alone. you finished checking yourself in the mirror, trying your best to look polished, even though you inevitably looked like a fucked out mess.

"yeah well, he won't forget. we basically abandoned him for all he knows." he laughed as he ruffled his hair, unconsciously mimicking your "cleaning myself up" actions.

"yeah, poor soobin." you laughed, turning to look at him as he opened the door. "hey, so about this, we won't be awkward or anything, right..?" you asked.

"i'm cool with it. although it's probably best not to make something big out of it too soon, you know? wouldn't want them to start making things weird.." he replied.

"yeah! i mean- oh, i have to go. my friend's picking me up" you smiled apologetically as you followed him into the living room, looking at the new text on you phone while picking up your things from the couch.

"i guess i'll see you next time?" yeonjun asked as he grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, going up to you to hand you one too. "you can also call me, if you wanna hang out again."

"yeah, for sure." you agreed, taking the water bottle with a sweet smile, leaving towards the door.

yeonjun followed you, making sure to see you out. he really was enchanted by you, and he was never going to be able to forget you after this. he leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms as he watched you say your goodbyes and nodded along.

"i'm looking forward to next time y/n. i bet it's gonna be even more fun." yeonjun commented as you walked off into the building's hall, you turned around one last time, to see him flashing you a teasing wink before taking another sip of his water.

©kiztae | 2023

insta stories.com/ww/yeonjun

- happy yeonjun day!! -

• yeonjun x gn reader • genre: fluff • warnings: none • ur stories

@reyarain reblogs r appreciated!! pls dont repost

SORRY THIS IS SO BAD IVE LITERALLY BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL RECENTLY 💔💔

insta stories.com/ww/yeonjun

- happy yeonjun day!! -

• yeonjun x gn reader • genre: fluff • warnings: none • ur stories

@reyarain reblogs r appreciated!! pls dont repost

SORRY THIS IS SO BAD IVE LITERALLY BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL RECENTLY 💔💔

i. autumn breeze — choi yeonjun

synopsis. it was the fateful beginning to the last year of your high school life and you were starting off fresh. new town, new school, new you. after some messy love, choi yeonjun was looking for a fresh start too, leading you two to finding each other. however, as you would soon learn, nothing in high school lasts forever. not even your favourite autumn breeze.

pairing(s). choi yeonjun x gender-neutral!reader ft. (mentions of) soobin x reader

genre(s). angst, coming-of-age, (minor) fluff, highschool au.

warnings. alcohol consumption, partying, underage drinking. rated PG 15.

word count. 1.1k (1143)

taglist. @yeonyeonyeonjun​ if you’d like to be tagged in each part when i post them, feel free to send me an ask or dm me!!

listen to! cellophane, fka twigs ⭑ friends, NIKI ⭑ night go slow, catey shaw

notes. ah, here it is! the first part of heartbreak haven. it’s going to be a wild part, so no matter how frustrated you get know you’re going to get even more frustrated in the later parts. trust. LOL besides that, i hope y’all enjoy this & stay tuned for the next two parts!! <33

Choi Yeonjun had been an autumn breeze.

He, gathering up summer’s glee and joy, had welcomed you with open arms right on the first day of school. There hadn’t been a smile on his face—you don’t remember there ever being one—but there’d been comfort in the way his eyes had shined. You hadn’t questioned his apathetic face or the deep sense of sorrow you had sensed from within him. Instead, you’d let his warm air wrap you up and hoped that his embrace would last.

Your relationship had never felt fleeting (though, you now realise, it was).

The long walks you two would take home from school, talking about anything and everything, weren’t fleeting. Study sessions held in local cafés, which consisted of more laughter and dry jokes—from Yeonjun; everything about him had been so dry and sombre—were anything, but fleeting. Even the brief smiles you’d send him in between classes, though short, felt longer than the classes you were heading into.

For the entirety of your relationship, everything had been fine. Sure, you two weren’t the most spontaneous of friends—loud and bright wherever you went—and you weren’t the type that could communicate with a single glance, but you had each other and that was all you needed.

So, why hadn’t things worked out?

That was the only thought that’d been plaguing you, since the moment you walked into the party and spotted Yeonjun smiling with some people surrounding him.

You thought you were over it. It was November now. The autumn breeze had left and the cold was trickling in, so it’d make sense for you to move on with it. But, his smile—so wide and so toothy (you’d never thought he would have a toothy smile)—dredged up unresolved feelings within you. And you couldn’t help but wonder, when did things start to go wrong?

Maybe it’d all started in October.

In September, Yeonjun had had you all to himself. In classes, you two had constantly paired up for projects. During lunch breaks, you two would save seats for each other—Yeonjun even declining to sit with other people for you. Your walks had been yours alone. Even if your parents had warned you not to stay out too late, with Yeonjun, those walks had felt like minutes whizzing by. Nothing could’ve separated you two, not that either of you had wanted that, for that first month.

Then, October had brought around some gradual changes.

First had been the schedule change. A couple of your periods had been flipped around, leaving you with only two shared classes and a lunch break. You two had told yourselves it was fine, and it truly had been. Any time lost had been made up in your walks, and nothing had felt out of place.

But then, there’d been another change. Your parents had encouraged—forced—you to get a job, which cut your walk time in half. Yeonjun had still reassured you that it wouldn’t change anything, that you would find a way around it. And, at first, nothing had changed. He would show up at the little diner you worked at, order a hearty meal, and tip extra. Sometimes, he’d even wait till the end of your shift to walk home with you, as you would rant about the countless times your annoying coworker tried to talk to you.

You had truly thought that, no matter what, your friendship was able to storm through whatever challenges were thrown at it.

(You’d been wrong.)

The end of October had brought around budding crushes, on both your ends. A blue boy, with a wide smile and a big heart, had made butterflies erupt from your chest, and the feeling—though painful—was wonderful. Meanwhile, Yeonjun’s cheeks would occasionally warm out of nowhere, and you’d spot him practising a confession multiple times.

Your feelings had left some distance between you two, as you’d spend some lunch breaks with your crush and switch out some walks for a ride in the blue boy’s car. But, it hadn’t been a canyon between you two. It’s been more like a valley, a barely steep one, that you two could slide into from your hills to rest in each other’s embrace once again.

So, if that wasn’t it, what was it?

Maybe it’d been that specific October day, you thought as you swirled around the drink in your hand and chugged it in one go. Eyes still set on Yeonjun, you didn’t flinch when his drifted towards yours. The surprise, then deep sorrow reflected in his eyes confirmed your thoughts.

It’d definitely been that day.

That day had seemed normal like any other (oh, if only you’d known how it would turn out).

Being mid-October, the temperatures had been rising, the days shortening, and you’d been able to see your breath in the cold, morning air. You’d loved the weather, and so had Yeonjun—you’d known because his eyes had been a little lighter than usual, something that’d brought a small smile to your face—but you’d spotted him fidgeting and nervous all day.

“_____,” he’d called out in AP Calc, one of the two subjects you two shared, “I need to tell you something later, ‘kay? Make sure you meet me by our spot after school.”

You hadn’t been nervous. (You hadn’t known there’d been reason to be nervous.) So, you had shrugged simply. “Sure.”

And, your day had gone on. By the time you’d been in your last period, and the smiley, blue boy had asked to drive you home, Yeonjun’s words had almost slipped your mind. Normally, you would’ve declined, put Yeonjun first. But, there’d been a certain curve in his smile, a certain sparkle in his eyes, that you’d found yourself saying yes.

You weren’t sure if you regretted your decision. (Something deep within you told you that you didn’t.)

So, instead of finding you at your shared spot that afternoon, Yeonjun had found a speedily written note. And, when he’d looked all over the parking lot for you, he’d found you in the backseat of the blue boy’s car, hand tangled in his hair and lips locked with his.

That day, Yeonjun had walked home—his secret intact in the depths of his heart.

And, you never knew.

Bailing on him, you thought certainly, was it.

Yeonjun’s eyes weren’t on yours anymore. Instead, they were on the arm wrapped around your waist. There were many bodies pressed against you two, and dizzying lights filled the house, but you could still spot the recognition in his eyes.

Wordlessly, you looked away from him, refocusing your eyes on the boy beside you.

A cruel smirk stretched your lips, as you asked, “Wanna go off somewhere quiet?”

He nodded, slightly confused and dazed, and followed you out into the cold. And, as you leaned in, kissing him softly, you realised that you missed the autumn breeze.

ii. butterflies | iii. blushed cheeks & burned hearts

copyright 2022 soobisms, all rights reserved. no translations or reposts of any form allowed.

(give me that) can't sleep love | cyj

you’ve been managing yeonjun flawlessly for a few good years now, but there are just some things you can’t keep under control. the obvious solution? a blind date that skews towards the unexpected.

pairing: solo idol!yeonjun x reader rating: T genre: romance warnings: none! like the narrative has a swear word like idk once? word count: 3.5k 

author’s notes: yeah it’s not actually valentine’s day but we write for a completely new fandom because we simply have no restraint !! just kidding, i’ve actually been hoping to extend my writing for other groups, but i haven’t yet because i’m extremely slow and a bit fickle. this is my first time writing for anything txt, but i hope to do so a bit more in the future! 

if you like it, please consider reblogging to help spread the word!

Maybe your mom was right. Maybe the entertainment industry just isn’t for you.

She’d actively warned you against dedicating your time to, well, anything involving the glitz and glam, but you just hadn’t listened. There had been good opportunities, great experiences you’d never get anywhere else. For the most part, your choices had helped that expectation become that reality; you’d met people not just anyone got to meet, and you’d definitely had a substantial amount of unique encounters.

Still, you were aware that the only reason you’d ever gotten the chance to taste a little bit of the high life was because you had Yeonjun on your side. Choi Yeonjun — the rising star of the idol world, with a better career trajectory than the guy who owned Apple, it seemed. His job was the access pass to everything you enjoyed. Unfortunately, your ticket to all the good things was also the key to your prolonged misery.

As his manager, you have a ton of roles to play — logistics coordinator, scheduler, alarm clock, wardrobe checker, and, on one unfortunate incident, last-minute make-up artist when the original girl had been a no-show. You were supposed to be busy at every turn, but Yeonjun on the job was something of a well-oiled machine, learning how to feed himself while you were on the phone and follow the line-up to the letter as long as he was awake enough to do it. It’s possible you could blame him for all the downtime you got that had led to the bulk of the problem.

Actually, you aren’t sure when it started or even how. Maybe it had happened somewhere in the middle of all his showcases and shows, sandwiched between the constant fever of communication and movement. Maybe it had come up in those hectic car rides where you’d spent a ton of time reminding him of what to do and what to expect. Or maybe it had grown with every time you had to wake him up in one of many lonely hotel rooms, with his head half-buried in the pillow to muffle the sleepy groans he’d use to respond to your soft voice.

Whenever it was, all you could be sure of was that you liked him. A lot. Maybe even with the time you’d come to know him, after all these years, a part of you was ready to say you loved him.

But that was the biggest barrier in the job, wasn’t it? Managers are supposed to stop their idols from dating, not want to do it with them. For the most part, you’ve been successful in holding yourself back from doing something stupid, which is technically the bare minimum for you. These days, though, you aren’t sure what it is; maybe you’re just on edge from all the work in this year’s promotional stint, and that kind of contributes to a weakened mentality, or some kind of wack explanation like that, but you find yourself more often losing your train of thought when you’re with him. Even without detailing the specifics to your friends and co-workers, they’ve noticed something was bothering you. They’d urged you to relieve yourself of your duties a little, maybe hire a co-manager to do all the menial stuff, but you know that’s not really the issue. Only one person — Sunyoung, Yeonjun’s wardrobe stylist — had managed to hit the nail on the head semi-accurately.  

“Look, I get it,” she’d said one evening, after she’d shooed Yeonjun out of the dressing room so he could strap on his in-ear piece and prepare for the stage. You were supposed to be running around like a headless chicken, making sure everything was in check, but you were just slumped on the couch in the dressing room playing some dumb shark game your nephew had downloaded onto your phone. “You’re tired. You’re lonely. You can’t even go out for a cup of coffee without worrying about Yeonjun. But he’s fine. You can relax a little.”

“I’m totally relaxed,” you’d mumbled, watching your shark devour a poor surfer on your screen. “I’m fine.”

“Then you should get out more. Leave all of this behind and meet new people. Go on a date. Listen,” she’d covered your phone with her palm, and you heard the telltale music of your game coming to a bitter end. “Do something fun. Go on a date, seriously. I can set you up. It doesn’t even have to be anything serious, ____________! Just do something not work-related for once next week, and get this toxicity or whatever out of your system.”

You didn’t have the heart to say no or the courage to admit that nothing really would happen if that date wasn’t with Yeonjun, considering how far gone you were, so you’d just agreed.

Sunyoung had set you up for a Valentine’s Day date. Ironically, while the point was supposedly to get your mind off of Yeonjun on that day, he had a scheduled fan sign in Sinchon that you couldn’t miss out on. You had to pack an extra set of nicer clothes and a make-up bag that Yeonjun had eyed questioningly but silently as you’d entered the van.

“So how long is this fan sign?” He’d asked instead, immediately turning his attention to his phone the moment the van had started moving.

“Until six.”

“Then I don’t have another schedule, right?”

“No.” You don’t really ask why he’s curious; Yeonjun enjoys his personal time, as any celebrity does. “You’re free after. The van can take you home, or wherever else you need to be.”

He’d hummed appreciatively, fixated on his phone, and the rest of the ride is consumed in silence until you’d arrive at the venue.  

Yeonjun is whisked immediately into hair and make-up, and Sunyoung emerges from his dressing tent a few moments after he disappears inside, portable clothes steamer in hand. “Hey; did you get my text?”

You shake your head; you’d spent the car ride irresponsibly ignoring your phone, opting to gnaw on one of your nails instead.  

“I sent you the details of a reservation slot in this nice Italian place near Dongdaemun. Just drop my name and they’ll lead you to the table.”

“Look, I don’t really know if I want to do this,” you mumble sheepishly. “Blind dating isn’t my speed.”  

“Just go. It’ll be fine. If you don’t like him, you don’t like him. Just give it a shot. If all else fails, just enjoy the pasta,” she’d said with finality, bopping the nozzle of the steamer on your shoulder as she walks away.  

Yeonjun is out of the dressing room in twenty minutes, and even then, you’re not sure why it takes that long. You’ve consistently held the belief that Yeonjun doesn’t need make-up to look good, and you can hardly tell when he has it on, anyway. Still, it’s nice to see his stylist pushing his hair up into a neat, tiny quiff, and he’s changed from his standard white tee and jeans to something that resembles a casual suit. You guessed they did it for Valentine’s Day — emulating the coveted boyfriend look, and all that.  

“How do I look?” He asks you, right before you lead him onstage. His eyes follow your hand as you fix the front of his jacket quickly.  

“Great,” you reply. “As usual.”

“So until six, right?” His mouth is lifting into a grin that you can’t really understand.  

“Until six,” you confirm, now a little curious. “You got somewhere to be?”  

“Not sure,” he looks down at you enigmatically. “It’s my off time, so we’ll see what happens.”  

“Don’t do anything stupid,” you warn him, even though there’s no heat in your words. You know he’s not dumb enough to gallivant around doing things that will get him on Dispatch’s radar.  

He just laughs, giving you a small wink before he hops onstage, taking two steps at a time. The voices around you are drowned out by the screams that ensue once his fans see him.  

From then on, it’s just the same pattern for the next two hours — you, standing on one corner of the stage beside a guy from security, watching hundreds of girls in a line titter and scream and fall to their knees in front of the table where Yeonjun is seated at. They’ve all got albums in their hands, offering them to him reverently for a signature, and he takes them all good-naturedly, scrawling his name and some short, practically unreadable message somewhere around it while chatting with them about food he likes and what movies he’s into these days.  

Since it’s Valentine’s Day, a ton of girls come with romantic gifts — flowers, chocolates, goodies baskets. One girl even brings a large teddy bear, plopping it down in front of him unceremoniously and scaring Yeonjun into accidentally miswriting his signature. You and the rest of his management team aren’t really strict about prohibiting gifts, but Yeonjun refuses all of them — nicely, of course, but to the disappointment of many fans. Every time he says no, he glances at you, like he’s worried you’re going to tell him off if he says yes. You’d wondered once before if he was just trying to pin the blame on you, but you know he’s not cruel like that. Today doesn’t make a difference; he rejects people with apologetic looks as he gives their albums back, and you can see their dejection as they trod off the stage. The teddy bear girl had left the toy by the stairs in her disappointment.  

Yeonjun starts his closing ment at a quarter to six, and you tap the security guy next to you to remind him to bring him straight backstage after he’s finished before dashing off and ducking into the dressing room to change. You hear deafening cheers coupled with Yeonjun’s cute little goodbye! that signal the end of the fan sign, and you’ve just finished combing your hair back when Yeonjun walks in, idly patting his hair to see if everything is still in place.

“You look nice,” he observes casually, shrugging off his jacket. You try to avoid looking at him, even if his shoulders are so impossibly broad that you can’t really ever keep them out of your peripheral vision. “Do you have plans?”  

“As a matter of fact, I do,” you admit, unsure as to why you feel so guilty for saying so. You’re not dating, you have to remind yourself. And you’re allowed to go out after work.

“Meeting someone special?”  

“I’m not sure. Could be. I don’t know who I’m meeting, if I’m being honest.”  

His expression is unreadable; his fingers are twirling his marker in quick, hypnotizing circles.  

“Well, have fun,” he finally says, moving to hang his jacket on the back of a chair. “You should take the subway or something. Rush hour, and all that.”  

“Thanks for the tip.” His words sound pretty dismissive, but you’re not sure why you don’t just leave right away. Maybe you’re expecting him to say something, although it’s really more about what you wish he would rather than what he reasonably would, and he just continues to stare quietly, still toying with the Sharpie. “If you… need anything, just call. You know?”  

“I know,” he replies simply. “But I won’t bother you on a date. That’s just plain rude.”

“I’ll still answer. You know you’re more important than a blind date.”  

“Am I?” He looks amused. “Sounds like you take this job too seriously. Don’t worry about me. I’ll probably just go home after all. There’s a wildlife documentary I’m dying to catch.”  

You’re pretty sure you hadn’t meant the job, but you don’t correct him considering how that would out you. “Okay. See you bright and early tomorrow. Remember you’ve got a radio interview at nine, so can you please not stop by Starbucks before you go home? Please?”  

“Sure, sure,” he waves you and your nagging off, and you bolt out of the door, feeling kind of stupid and a little flushed.  

You take Yeonjun’s advice and get on the subway, except the first two trains Dongdaemun-bound are full to the brim and you have to squeeze yourself into the car of the third train by elbowing a couple of annoying teenage boys. The other problem you run into is that the train station exits are a fair way away from your destination, and you aren’t used to running in heels. You clip-clop your way down the sidewalk and hit every red light for the pedestrian crossings, much to your ire. At one point, you stop in the middle of the crossing and consider just storming back to the opposite end of the road and going home, but the subway station is too far away for that choice to make sense at that point anyway.  

By the time you get to the restaurant, you’re about fifteen minutes late and have to sit on the chairs for walk-in customers to give your feet a break. The guy at the front of the house has the decency to wait for you to catch your breath and even quietly point out that a lock of hair is stuck to your lip gloss before he asks if you have a reservation.  

You nervously pick at your dress and comb the ends of your hair as you follow him. You notice someone is already seated at the table, back to you and looking over the menu. You think about all the things that you want to say — sorry for being late, have you been waiting long?, I totally understand if you want to just leave — but there’s a weird nagging in the back of your mind that grows as you approach the table.  

Maybe Sunyoung had known you had a type, so to speak —lean, sharp, nicely dressed. Technically, that wasn’t such a difficult set of characteristics to find, but the fact that they were all rolled up into one package seated at your table, so similar to the guy you’ve pinned as ideal, was just kind of spooky. Even the fact that your blind date was laughing to himself at God knows what, alongside the fact that the way his angular shoulders moved up and down comically the way his would, isjust weird.

That, or…  

All thoughts of apologizing fly out the window once you reach the table. All you can do is stare, your ears ringing and your fingers clutching your wallet tightly. Your mind has completely disconnected from reality, and the first thing that tumbles out of your mouth is loud and a little crude.  

“Literally, what the hell?”  

All the guy at your table can do is laugh harder, clearly because he’s Lee Freaking Yeonjun, and he’s finding this situation sidesplittingly hilarious.  

“Yeonjun,” you hiss, your hand flying up and curling into a fist in an attempt to restrain yourself from grabbing him by the collar. “What are you doing here?”  

It takes him another half-minute to sober down, and he’s still chuckling a little as he answers. “Waiting for my date, obviously.”  

“Explain,” you demand, pointedly ignoring the looks couples from another table are giving you.

“Okay, but you have to sit down first,” he motions to the seat across from him. You pull it back and plop down onto it, gaze unwavering. He pauses, kind of dramatically, before continuing. “So there’s a set course meal, but I know you don’t like shellfish, so I thought—”

“I don’t want an explanation of the menu!” You shut your eyes, trying to block out the scene for a second. This can’t be happening. It makes no sense. “I want to know — wait, is this a prank?” 

“What? No, of course not.”  

“How are you here?”  

“I took the van here,” he says, once again elusive. “I actually thought you’d get here before me, but then I realized you probably had to walk a long way. Sorry.” He has the decency to look sheepish at this point.

“Why are you here?”

“I’m on a date?” He shakes his head. “What’s not clicking, ____________?”

“Don’t sass me. Please. Do me that one courtesy, if nothing else.” He watches you down your water in one go, still looking politely amused. “Did Sunyoung put you up to this?”  

“Actually, I asked her to rope you in.”

“Because?”  

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” He looks incredulous. “Because I like you. I thought that was kind of obvious from the get-go.”

Nothing is making sense to you. Your head is starting to hurt a little, maybe from the situation, maybe from the cold water you’d drunk too fast. “How was it obvious?” You thought you had been kind of obvious, which was why you had attempted to stay distant and pretty aloof for the past few months.  

“I listen to everything you say.”

“You have to,” you point out wearily. “That’s literally supposed to be our professional relationship.”  

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t have done it so well and so frequently if it were anyone else who were my manager,” he tries to reason, then continues when you look unconvinced. “And the gifts. I don’t take them.”  

“So?”  

“So, I don’t have a reason to not take them, technically. I just don’t because I don’t want you to think I’m accepting other people’s affections.”  

“That makes no sense. They’re your fans, so that has nothing to do with personal affections. You’re terrible at this.”  

“Okay, fine — but so are you!” His voice transitions into something a little accusing. “It’s not like you’ve been good at showing me you like me either.”  

He pauses, and for the first time in your life, you see something cross his face — uncertainty, maybe, or anxiety.  

“You do like me, don’t you?”  

The fire of indignant anger fueled by your initial shock dies down, and you’re left feeling a little embarrassed now. The entire walk here, you’d been torturing yourself with the fantasy that you could be somewhere else with Yeonjun on a date, but now that he’s seated across you in the flesh, you have no clue what to do or how to react properly. You toy with your napkin, but you feel his eyes burning into you.  

“Fine. I do, but,” you raise your voice a little at the conjunction; he doesn’t even take you seriously, choosing to look relieved instead. “But I’m not supposed to, Yeonjun. This is bad.”  

“Why? We’re at an old people restaurant. No one’s going to recognize us.”  

“Because I’m not supposed to go on dates with the idol I’m managing.”

“Be honest,” his bottom lip juts out. “Is that all you think of me?”  

Your lips thin out into a tight line; it’s easy to say no if you’re cheeky like him, but you’re pretty sure it’s easier to fire a manager for dating off-bounds than it is to cut off an idol’s career for the same reason.  

“Can’t we be, you know,” he points between the two of you. “Just us? Not manager and idol. Just you and me. Just for tonight. And we can see how it goes.”  

You hate that you cave so easily. You hate that you know you do because you like him so much. Your hand comes up to your face, trying to rub the ache away from your temples. A small, triumphant grin is growing on Yeonjun, like he already knows what you’re going to say. It occurs to you that after all this time you’ve come to know him well, he may have reached the same level of familiarity with you as well.

“Fine,” you mumble, and he doesn’t even contain his joy, pumping his fist into the air embarrassingly. “Fine. Just for tonight.”  

“Just for tonight,” he agrees. “Then we can see how it goes.”  

When you finally decide to meet his eye, you can’t help but laugh softly. He’s looking a little smug, and you want to smack him, or maybe just kiss him a little, but you just nudge his foot under the table. It doesn’t do anything to faze that little shit-eating expression on his face.  

“Don’t think this gets you off of waking up early,” you warn, but you never do get to threaten him effectively with just how soft your words are. “I’m still hauling you out of bed at seven.”

“As long as it’s you,” he grins. “And no one else.”  

“Shut up,” you try to bite back your smile, ducking your head instead to look at the menu when you feel it growing anyway. “Order your food.”  

You know he’s not looking at the menu even as you pretend to peruse it. Still, he falls quiet, eerily so, and you think he’s just staring until you feel something soft land on top of your hand.

Your eyes lift again to his face, and he’s still smiling, albeit a little more serenely, without that joking expression he’s practically trademarked. His hand squeezes yours tightly, and even when he loosens his hold, his palm never leaves yours.  

“You really do look beautiful tonight,” he says softly. “Happy Valentine’s Day, _______________.”  

sweet shopping surprise

pairing: yeonjun x reader 

situation: you meet the school’s “bad boy” in the mall 

photo: omyeongj on pinterest

Yeonjun is notorious in school as the boy your mom warned you about. Living up to this title, he rides a dangerous-looking motorbike and comes to class with cuts on his face. 

Even though you share many classes with him, you have always made an effort to stay away.

That is, until today. 

You ran into him at the shopping mall — more specifically, at the kiddie’s table in the Lego store.

You were trying to find a gift for your niece’s birthday, and he was completing his castle.

“Yeonjun?” 

He knocked down several pieces when he looked up and saw you from behind his pink bangs. His ears turn the same color as his hair. 

“Hey, Y/N. Of all places, I didn’t think I’d run into you here.” He tries to mask his flustered voice with a sheepish smile. 

“Do you want to, uh, join me?”

It’s only polite to say yes… You thought, pulling the chair out and sitting down in front of him. 

He slid the instruction manual across the small table so both of you could look at it together. In response, you picked up the pieces and started adding them to his castle. 

At first, it was easy to fixate your eyes on the castle. But as time passed, and the two of you moved closer and closer to work on the core part, you couldn’t help but notice Yeonjun’s pretty profile.

Furrowed eyebrows, parted lips, and a focused gaze. It wasn’t difficult to understand why he’s named the hottest guy in school, year after year.

An hour later, the castle is complete. Yeonjun was super proud, whipping out his phone to take pictures and all that. 

You were ready to bid him goodbye and return to searching for your niece’s gift when he shot from his seat and pulled you by the sleeve. 

“Since you helped me with my castle, I’ll return the favor.” 

“Well, I’m gift-shopping for my niece.”

“Then, let’s get your niece the best gift of his life!”

One store, then another. You two only digressed once to eat Bingsu and listen to a song by this group called TXT that he liked. 

Okay, maybe twice.

The second time was when he convinced you to go on the red train that rode through the mall to give people a tour.

His reasoning was that you would know all the stores and wouldn’t accidentally miss one. 

When the two of you finally landed the perfect gift, it was dark out. 

“Do you want to go eat something?” He asked, standing next to you on the escalator. 

“Sure, I’m a bit hungry.” You replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

But deep down, you know the wild feeling in your stomach is something other than hunger. 

Yeonjun flashes you a wide grin.

“All that walking… I’m starving!” 

After dinner, you agreed to let Yeonjun take you home on his motorbike. He was an absolute gentleman, helping you with your helmet and lifting you to climb onto the seat. 

Though he wasn’t that much of a gentleman when he purposefully accidentally sped so you would clasp your arms around his waist. 

When you realized and tried to unravel, Yeonjun pulled them back. “Let’s stay like this.” Voice deep and warm, rattling your ears. 

Cue: internal combustion. 

In the end, he took you home safe and sound, handed you your gift bag, and wished you good night. 

You didn’t know it then. But it was the first of many more mall dates with Yeonjun.

thank you for reading; likes and reblogs are highly appreciated; for more of my cliché, click here

taglist: @soobin-chois​

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𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 - 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧

royal reader x royal guard Yeonjun

Warnings: descriptions of punishment that are akin to torture, mentions of wounds, I think that’s all but please let me know if not!

Note: This is kinda all over the place and not much happens really but it’s something to read? I've been sitting on this since February and I just want it out of my drafts lol. Inspired by a scene from my favourite book series.

Word count: 833

It had been somewhat of an ordeal to be standing on the outside of the castle gates this night. It had involved sending the personal guards posted outside your bedroom on a wild goose chance for invisible intruders and outsmarting the watchers who patrolled the great gates. You had gone to a lot of trouble to leave the castle walls, but with urgent cause.

The night was chilly, the freshly fallen snow covering everything in a layer of white that glowed in the moonlight. Beneath your cloak, however, you were stiflingly warm, with both the stress of your mission and the pace you had set, though your heart was pounding at a much quicker speed than your boots on the cobblestones. There were few people on the street at this late hour, but you did not wish to attract the attention of those that were—you would surely be recognised if anybody stopped you to enquire of an emergency.

Once you had passed the light of the tavern and slipped into an alleyway, you felt assured you were safe from curious eyes and broke into an almost run, careful still of the frosty surface beneath your feet. You weren't all that concerned with your own safety at this time, but still aware that if you were to slip and break, say, your neck, your little expedition would not go unnoticed.

As the alley came to an end beside the baker's shop on the corner of the square, the scene unfolded before you just as you had imagined it. Still, it stole your breath more than the exertion and the cold air combined. In the center of the square, on one knee, arms shackled outstretched above his head like a bird's wings prepared for flight, was your oldest companion and object of your heart.

You had grown up beside Yeonjun; your fathers were the closest of friends and he had been the only other child inside the castle walls. The two of you had shared everything, been there for each other through everything - from the death of your mother to the the loss of his father, from his initiation into the royal guard as he followed in his father's footsteps, to your father marrying again and, most recently, his death. Yeonjun was the only person you knew was a genuine friend. He never asked anything of you, always told you what he really thought, only ever saw you for who you were. There were no pretences.

As you approached him your concern grew stronger. His raven hair hung in his face, his head drooped low against his chest. His shirt, too thin to be of any use against the dropping temperature, was stained with blood and torn in places, revealing shredded skin. The evidence of his punishment, forty-eight hours of penance in the square and one hundred lashings. Your mouth grew dry at the realisation that these were only the injuries you could see; most of the lashings would have been delivered to his back.

At the sound of your footsteps, he stirred, his head lolling to the side to see who might be coming—his punisher or a sympathizer. You lowered your hood, and it seemed to take a few moments before he recognized you—or maybe that you were really here—having gone without food for so long and likely being in a great deal of pain. His arms, which had been shaking, suddenly stopped. You knew he was trying to protect you from seeing the state he was in.

Yeonjun's eyes focused as you stood in front of him, and you could tell that his lips had been bitten right through; blood glossed the otherwise dry skin, and you imagined they weren't only dry from from the cold air but from panting and gasping with pain. He looked pale even in the soft glow of the warm lamps that lit the square. You knelt so he wouldn't have to strain his neck any further to look at you. His breath came out in a fog as your heart wrenched. This was just one more thing the queen had done to break you.

“I thought I might see you here,” his voice was gravelly, not the one you were used to. This was the most ragged you’d ever seen him. "Though I had hoped I wouldn't. You shouldn't be out here alone—"

"I'm in better shape than you," you quipped, trying to lighten than the mood. He always put your wellbeing above his, but in this situation you couldn't bear to hear it.

He tutted, but his eyes looked a little brighter. “You always are. Where’s your new guard?”

“I outwitted him,” you replied, proudly.

Yeonjun scoffed. “I knew I should have gotten the job. You’ve never been able to outsmart me.” It was good to see that in this condition he still had his good humoured nature about him.

Your mouth twitched with a smirk before you changed the mood with solemn words. "I would've been there. I tried to come to the trial as soon as I heard, but Stepmother had me barred.” You watched as Yeonjun awkwardly tried to bring his other leg forward to take his weight, noticing the holes that had formed in the knees of his pants from kneeling all day. "I tried to talk to her but—“

Yeonjun’s eyes flashed with worry. “You need to be careful around her."

"I know," you said quietly, looking away from his eyes while trying not to look at his wounds. “What did she sentence you for? Nobody would tell me.”

“I spoke against your betrothal," he sighed, more fog filling the air between you. Your eyes met his again hearing this. “I thought I was in good company, but I guess even friends can betray you for the chance of earning the queen's favour." Now he was the one to look away. “Forgive me, princess."

"There's nothing to forgive. You know how I feel about him.” Glancing around to check there was no one close by, you placed your hand on Yeonjun's knee. It was freezing and the skin that peeked out through the ripped fabric was almost at breaking point. You wished you could have brought something, even just a blanket or some food, but coming here was a risk in itself. It was more than likely that if anyone helped him in any way, Yeonjun would be the one punished for it.

"I was gone for some days. I knew there was a chance that…”

Your hand gently patted above his knee. “I’m still as indifferent about him as when you left." A hint of a grin flickered in the comer of his mouth.

Yeonjun had been chosen by the king, your father, to be one of the guards to escort his coffin to the royal crypt. Your father had always had his own love for Yeonjun, as if he was the son he never had. He was favoured among the guard, and the other men knew it. They also knew he held your favour.

Your stepmother, the queen, on the other hand, held no affection for him. With your father gone you were her bargaining chip to forge alliances with. You would marry whoever she saw fit, whoever offered the most advantageous union. It was clear she held no love for you, either. But of course, your heart belonged to Yeonjun. You were certain he knew, deep down. Sometimes you were sure he felt the same. But then he would switch to his professional persona, completely change his demeanour and leave you second guessing yourself.

“We should both be more careful,” you thought aloud.

You realised his arms had begun to shake with the strain again and you wished you could do something, anything, to soothe him. You wanted to reach for him further, but you thought better of it.

"Yes," his voice was serious again now. “You shouldn't be alone with a man, especially at night."

A burst of laughter broke from you and you spotted a flash of the whites of his teeth. “You’re not a man, you’re the boy I’ve spent my whole life with. Besides, what are you going to do? You can't move your arms.”

“You always aim for the low hanging fruit,” he chuckled.

A rush of wind came, causing Yeonjun to tense and wince, closing his eyes tightly. You moved your hand from him, afraid of adding to his struggles. "Is it unbearable?”

He looked up at you under the tips of hair that the wind had tousled into his eyes. "Not while you're here."

The sound of laughter came from a nearby establishment as the door opened, capturing both your attention. The light that spilled out from inside was warm and inviting, and you turned to see your dearest friend’s eyes laden with longing, probably picturing the blazing fire in the hearth, as were you.

You looked up at the long board that held his wrists in shackles. You had seen it before, of course; it was a permanent fixture in the square since your father had married that terrible woman and submitted to her views on punishment. Perhaps these punishments had never been necessary before she became queen, as nobody had ever had any treasonous feelings towards your mother or father, and neither of them were the kind to use torture as a method of penalty. You had never attended these new dealings of punishment, always scheduling your tutor at the same time to be in order to avoid being made to go. Thus, this was your first time seeing a person in this position. “I wish I could get you out of here.”

Coughing brought you from your thoughts, racking Yeonjun’s exhausted frame. “Only, what? Thirty-six hours to go? I’ll survive.”

“You’d better,” you quipped, doing your best to keep the worry from your voice as you felt you needed to keep up with his humour to help him through.

“Was it terribly boring without me?” The question was delivered with a hint of mischief.

“Oh yes,” you looked away casually. “There’s been no excitement whatsoever. Except the queen making plans for celebrations we can’t afford and firing staff who have worked in the palace since before I was born.”

Yeonjun wasn’t only trembling from the stretch of his position but also the cold of the night; his breathing beginning to shudder harshly. The thought came to you—the only thing you could do. Grabbing the ends of your cloak between your fingers, you knelt up to wrap your arms around his neck and pulled yourself in close to him.

“What’s this?” he asked, voice sounding both caught off guard and tired.

“Body heat,” you replied. You were thankful he couldn’t see your face as you said it. This was the closest you had ever been to each other, pressed so flush together this way.

He hesitated for a second before dropping his chin to your shoulder. You heard him sigh, before playing it off as a cough, ever the stubborn one. “You’re so warm.”

It was obvious that he wasn’t putting much of his weight on you, though he probably needed the relief after holding himself up like that all day, still on bent knee for the queen long after she’d gone back to the castle and gone about her day.

“I would stay with you all night if I could.”

Though the words had not passed between the two of you, you were certain he knew how you felt. Sometimes you were sure he felt the same way; adoring eyes and inside jokes, a hand lingering on your own longer than it took for you to step down from a carriage after your father had lead ahead. But then doubt always whispered in your mind. Could these not be the feelings of a close friend? A brother to a sister? A subject to royalty?

“I’m sure a princess has better things to do,” He teased over your shoulder. Suddenly his body tensed slightly against you. He pulled himself away from you, breaking the circle of your arms around his neck. “You’ve got company.”

You followed Yeonjun’s eyes to see the man who was now named your guard entering the square, the cloak of those in service to the queen recognisable even in the dimness of the moonlight. “Drat.” It took quite an effort not to roll your eyes as you turned back to your friend with a regretful air. “I’ll come back tomorrow night.”

“I don’t want you getting in trouble.” His eyes, full of sincerity but with that familiar sharpness that conveyed he really meant it, followed yours as you stood.

You wanted to make a joke, but you couldn't find it in yourself to lighten the mood at this moment. Instead, you simply nodded your head to show you understood, making no promises. Then you steeled yourself, gathering the strength to hold a neutral demeanour as you head towards the guard who would lead you back to the castle, hoping against hope that your stepmother had not been informed that you had been out of its walls. She would know without questioning that you had been to see Yeonjun. You didn’t let yourself look back as you left the square, though every part of you begged for you to turn around just once.

Back in the castle, guards posted outside your door, you couldn’t rid yourself of the shivers that wracked you. It wasn’t the cold—your chamber was still toasty from the fire the attendants had set earlier in the evening, still crackling gently at this hour—but the reality of the situation that weighed heavily on you after your outing. Looking around the room you were engulfed by an emotion you could not name—anger, guilt, sorrow?—on finding yourself amongst warmth and luxuries while he endured the bitter cold and harsh penalty beyond these walls.

Maybe the queen could sleep soundly tonight, but you would not. You couldn’t face the bed, the sight of the plush blankets and pillows tightening the ache in your chest that had only intensified with your visit. Shaky hands untying the cloak around your shoulders, you set yourself down on the floor, pulling it over your frame as you stretched out, your arm the only semblance of a pillow. The cloak was still wet where it had dragged through the fresh snow, but you didn’t care. Staring vacantly into the glow of the fireplace, your mind replayed what you had seen. You couldn’t help but feel that this was only the beginning of your troubles, as if you were on the precipice of something you were set to fall from. You would not let your stepmother take Yeonjun down with you.

written by mapofthemazeinthemirror - do not repost my work in any form

I have been meaning to yap to you about this because I am a certified mafia jjun enjoyer but….listen!

two things: one (1) reader is hired by said mafia group to protect the leader (yeonjun) gosh I imagine like enemies to lovers? she hates yeonjun at first, and thinks he’s so so mean. At first he thinks “how is she going to protect me?” but she’s protecting him more than physically. he eventually eases up on her and ends up being mean to everyone but her. gahhh something about meanie jjunie that has a soft spot gets me.

two (2) this might be quick but reader and mafia boss tyun being from rival families, but they cross paths and end up falling for each other. aaaah forbidden romance <3

ASH I LOVE YOUR MIND. Thank you for feeding me with this. I’ve been craving gang txt ever since the new gbgb choreo, the part where it looks like they’re fighting 🫢 Number two (2) with Taehyun is so yummy, just imagine the banter they'd have with each other!

words: 1.8k oops

warnings: a bit of workplace discrimination, mentions of attacks, criminal activity, blood briefly, treating wounds, probably too soft at the end

If there’s one thing you’re going to do, it’s do your job damn well regardless of your personal feelings towards the man you’ve been hired to protect – and especially if said man seems to think you’re not fit for the job. It appeared Yeonjun was not pleased when you first showed up to work, pulling a member of his team aside and having what looked like a tense conversation. It only made you more intent on proving your position. You often butted heads, unable to agree on the right approach to many things. Yeonjun prioritized quick gains, confrontations and aggressive plays, recurrently willing to forgo his security or the safety of the more expendable members of his organisation to get what he was after. On the other hand, you wanted him to undertake less risky tactics, ones that were better for his reputation, his long-term safety. There were a couple of instances where he tried to plan some dealings without you, locking you out of his office and leaving you to stand outside fuming and trying to hear what little of the discussion you could through the crack in the door. The men took you even less seriously after that stunt – if the boss didn’t respect you, why should they?

Using your intel, you cleverly plan out routes for the driver to take that steer clear of trouble. At first Yeonjun is annoyed and questions the detour, but later that night, he learns through his informant that police were doing a random car check on the usual route, due to the crimes of a gang in the area. When he thanks you the following morning, you think you've earned the respect you've been craving. However, the good feeling doesn't last. As the day goes on, not only does Yeonjun give you his drink order, as if you're a simple assistant or coffee runner, he also laughs at a joke one of his men makes about you, right in front of you.

And maybe from time to time you fantasize about the young, stupidly good looking, ridiculously well dressed mafia boss getting what he deserved; about letting his laundering fall through, letting his shipment go to the wrong country, or turning a blind eye to the betrayal of one of his most valuable men that you have discovered. But you're a professional, and professionals don't let their sour thoughts derail their career.

It's only when the truth about the disloyalty of Yeonjun's right hand man is laid out for him that things begin to change. You had supplied all the proof, having hired a private investigator of sorts to get the incriminating photos you needed, accumulating dirt on the man who was Yeonjun's favourite, his oldest friend in the business, until there was no room for doubt in his mind.

What you hadn't expected was for the boss to show up at your place a few days after your exposé, looking more exhausted than you'd ever seen him. The betrayal had hit him hard. He seemed despondent as he glanced around at the place you lived, showing no reflection of his opinion. You weren't even sure how much he was taking in with those tired dark eyes. His hair was not to his usual standard, and his coat which was usually tied fashionably at his waist hung open and loose on his thin frame. You felt more awkward standing before him in this state than you ever had when he'd been laughing at your expense. You offered him a seat but he turned it down. All you could do was stare and wait for him to speak.

“I'm very grateful,” he began. His voice was hoarse, bringing a deepness to it you'd never known. Finally he looked you straight in the eye for the first time since he'd arrived. “I never would have seen it for myself. I was blinded by my… If you hadn't disclosed this to me…” It was the first time you'd seen him struggle to articulate himself. You nodded in understanding, and he seemed relieved.

After that, you were given a raise – a silent one, since he applied it without saying anything to you about it – and an office of your own. Not only did the jokes and snide comments from the other men stop, but they seemed to eye you with caution, some with reverence. You had become the one Yeonjun trusted most, the one he came to with his concerns, and nobody would ever question your value again. Not unless they wanted to face the boss's fury.

Things have been good for a while: you love your job – and maybe, as much as you hate to admit it, your boss, just a little bit? – when something unforeseeable happens. You're busy handling communications when you spot Yeonjun's ride pull up in the underground lot on the security monitor. Watching as the two front doors of the vehicle swing open and both the driver and the ridealong dash to open the back doors, your anxiety is thrown into gear. Then Yeonjun stumbles out from the back seat. You're on your feet before you see them check him over, out the door before he can wave them off.

By the time he's in the building, there are more men around him, asking questions and putting their hands on his shoulders in concern. He shakes them all off in annoyance, ordering them to get back to work. As the men fall away he spots you standing by, and he softens. When he approaches, you see the sharp red lines that are scratched into the side of his face, notice the bloody cuts on his hand as it sweeps his black hair up over his forehead.

“What happened?” you ask when he reaches you, even though you have a pretty good idea in your mind. You need to know anyway, as you keep a record of all offenses committed against him.

“It was an ambush,” he says simply. He watches your hands take his bigger ones from his sides and turn them over, inspecting. His hands suddenly feel cold in contrast to your warm skin as you make contact.

“Are you okay?” You glance briefly up to his eyes, indicating that your question does not refer to his obvious abrasions.

“That bullet proof glass might need a touch up,” he states rather matter-of-factly in reply, looking away from you. He sounds so nonchalant, as if it's not a big deal. Your heartbeat has picked up significantly, an unexpected reaction to hearing about danger that has already passed, and you realise that a threat to Yeonjun's safety means more to you than it should; more than a professional responsibility for his security.

You usher him into his office and locate the medical kit. This is the first time you'll be putting your first aid training to good use, you muse silently as you pull the lamp down close to Yeonjun's face. It's an intimate position you've found yourself in; Yeonjun seated on the large plush sofa while you hover above him, one knee on the seat of the sofa to steady yourself. You don't even register that your knee is between his spread legs, so focused on treating his injuries. You've never touched him before, and yet it feels like one of the most natural things you've ever done as you work instinctively, the fingers of your non-dominant hand along his cheek without your noticing. His warm eyes, which had seemed distant just a moment ago, check your face occasionally, until he abandons subtlety and they unabashedly train on you as you treat him, lit by the glow of the lamp. You try not to notice it, though you definitely do.

“I usually do this myself,” he says quietly as you reach for a new cloth and the bottle of disinfectant once more. The tug of a lazy smile appears on his mouth. “This is much better.”

Your eyes meet his, and all at once you feel much too warm. Now that you're not concentrating, you notice the placement of your knee, and your whole body seems to come alive. Retracting it as casually as possible, you hold your hand out to him, hoping your flushed state will go unnoticed. The feeling of his palm against yours sends sparks through you, making you feel like a stupid high schooler. He's still smiling, which makes it even harder to ignore. You suppose he's used to his life being threatened, used to targeted attacks, and that's how he's so calm after the ambush. Unless the starry look in his eyes speaks of an oncoming concussion.

He doesn't flinch once as you disinfect his scrapes and cuts. You're glad there's no glass to be picked out of the wounds. He watches everything you do quietly, and you find yourself having to remind yourself to breathe occasionally. It's new to be this close to him, and you don't hate it – not in the slightest. Most of his wounds are superficial, thanks to the bullet proof glass, and once you've applied coverings to the cuts on his hands, you're all finished. When you go to move the lamp away, you notice that his face has changed. He looks drained now, all his earlier charm and blasé attitude abandoned, maybe a little paler than usual even under the warm light, and you wonder if he's starting to feel the effects of the ordeal.

“I'll get you some water,” you tell him. Before you can move away, you feel his fingers softly grasp your hand. Your eyes come back to his face in surprise.

“Wait,” he says, a little weakly. His eyes are looking away from you, his brow quirked as though he's trying to figure something out. “I'm fine. Can you- can you just…”

There's only been one other time he's not been sure of his words before, and he'd been through something rough then, too. Something inside you begins to warm up and slowly melt as you realise that Yeonjun is not as unbothered on the inside as he plays on the outside. He may be tough, but he's not invincible. He may have had this kind of attack on his life before, he might even be used to it or expect it, but his body still undergoes the shock, even if it’s a delayed reaction.

His eyebrows are still slightly furrowed as he looks up at you. Without words and with the gentlest, smallest tug at your hand which you may not have noticed in another circumstance, which could probably have been played off as nothing if it had been rejected, he asks you to stay. You can't hide the smile that twitches at your lips. With something that feels like courage coursing through you, you step towards him. Turning slightly, you set yourself down on his lap and feel him relax. His arm winds around you to keep you snug to him and you lean your head onto his shoulder, getting a breath of expensive cologne. He sighs deeply before breathing evenly, dropping into a deep rest.

You're content like this, though you never imagined being this close to him, glad that he's resting when he clearly needs it, and proud that you could help. If this is how you can protect him physically, even if it's only in this small way, you'll take it. Though, in your head you've already begun thinking through methods of retaliation to whichever rival faction made this attempt on his life.

«❝ 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ❞» - PT. TWO

Yeonjun was the one to break up with you, so why does he want you back now?

➸ check part one out here!

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Pairing: Yeonjun x Reader (female)

Genre: 335 cups of fluff and 3 cups of angst

Warnings: a bit suggestive maybe??? cursing, eating, cheesy cringe stuff hehe, ++ unedited so there may be a lot of mistakes !!

Song: I’ll Never Love This Way Again

(YUH OMG FINALLY I FINISHED THIS REQUEST IM SCREAMING OMG??? i’m so sorry that this took so long, i know a lot of people waited for it 😭😭 and for the anon who requested this bc there wasn’t a notif- keah accidentally deleted it 😭😭. ngl i would die for yeonjun in this. ANYWAY, i hope you enjoyyy~~ i rlly liked doing something like this and yes i have to mention the happiness it gave me at 1am when i finally finished it 😌💕)

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

As easy as it was to say compared to real life, Choi Yeonjun was a wreck. A horrible, horrible and you must’ve forget to say- horrible wreck! That is including the duration of time before and after the second time you left.

How he roused one morning to you no where in sight after a vicious night of going out was something he deeply regretted. He would do anything to go back to that day, of course. He wasn’t sure about how you were doing, but jeez did he want to see those bright glints in your eyes whenever you saw him again. To see you smiling like nothing was wrong or giggling when he finally made ticklish contact on those sensitive places or even how you’d frown before him due to his carelessness. His mind drew him back to the ungodly hour of 4am when you scolded him for the scar on his arm he didn’t seem to realize until later and the way you made sure nothing else on his body was hurt. Yeah anyone could tell that didn’t go very well considering he was a boy and you were a girl, but that wasn’t the point!

In simple terms, he missed you more than anyone he’s ever laid eyes upon and the plain truth was that. You weren’t easy to be shaken off his mind after that ordeal of getting you to himself for one, final night. It hurt him most to see the disgusted expression on your face as if you were staring straight at a pile of elephant poop on the ground, not wanting to do anything with it because it was useless and foul. He couldn’t possibly make it your fault too, which meant he shouldn’t have been surprised. Breaking your poor heart by insulting you and taking you for granted, everything was wrong with him for thinking this way!

Whether he liked it or not, his heart said differently about this matter.

Keep reading

미안해 •| ᶜʰᵒᶤ ʸᵉᵒⁿʲᵘⁿ |• [ ᵖᵃʳᵗ ⁴ ] final

Mention or reference to death

Again those pain-filled cries broke through the air. And without being able to help myself, I made my way through the place to get to where they came from.

A big group of people was gathered near what seemed to be the most damaged area of the building, I approached

What was going on?

But the image that flashed in front of my eyes completely devastated my heart.

I can't tell you how sorry I am.

I tried, I tried as hard as I could.

Soobin hugged you while everyone cried inconsolably.

Your crying burned my soul, I wanted to hug you, I wanted to come back but that was the moment when I realized that it was no longer possible.

I no longer belong on that plane.

I am sorry, I love you.

This was so unfair, we had so many things left to live, so many years left to live together.

I prayed to God to let me come back to your side.

But nothing happened. Today I left you.

Everything began to look in slow motion, my vision was blurred.

What would I do now? How could this even happen?

I saw you walking away with the boys and I knew it was time. It was time for our goodbye, it was the moment to say goodbye.

Honey 미안해. I'm sorry for all those times I was a jerk and didn't know how to value you. I'm sorry for all those times I made you forget your pride so that you would forgive my bullshit, for every rant, for the fights, for each and every one of my failures. I hope someday you will forgive me, but above all I hope you never forget how much I love you and how grateful I am to you. Thank you for always being there, for supporting me and for loving me as purely as you always did.

﹝---﹞

"The funeral ceremony for singer Choi Yeonjun who was a member of the Idol group Tomorrow x Together will be held tomorrow, October 27 this year in Seongman City, Gyeonggi Province. The ceremony will be held behind closed doors. The dear singer will be bid farewell by family members, friends and agency colleagues. However his family surprised by releasing a statement informing that MOA, the name by which the supporters of his former group are known, will be able to say goodbye to their idol before he is transferred to what will finally be his eternal resting place."

﹝---﹞

We bid you farewell amid tears and praise. A sad vibe haunts us since your goodbye. But for you we will go on, for you we will live our lives again.

Days after our sad farewell I accompanied your mother to your room in the group dormitory.

They were happy to see us and went out of their way to be kind to your mother. I am sure that for a moment she was happy again, but she still missed you.

While we were there, we had many memories of you. We laughed and talked about your habits. We laughed and had fun with the guys, because we promised ourselves not to cry for you anymore.

But in the end we ended up doing it. It was inevitable.

We found countless things in your room, letters and plushies, gifts and details, thousands of things that moa gave you and you kept with fervor.

We also found hundreds of photos of immemorial occasions. Beautiful photos of family dinners, or group outings. Photos full of feelings and love.

But when we got to It, when we found it hidden in your night table, we could not stop our endless crying.

It was still in the bag it came in and it was so beautiful.

We admired it for minutes and I really couldn't stop looking at it, it was so beautiful.

Your mom mentioned that she knew about it, but had never seen it, she knew that you wanted it to be a surprise for everyone, and that you had taken the time to make the design.

What a beautiful detail.

Knowing you, I'm sure it could have been the most beautiful and romantic proposal I could have ever seen.

And you would have gotten a yes. Yes I want to marry you.

Because it was what I wanted most in this life.

But now you are gone and I can only move forward without you in my life. To move on and get over your absence.

In tears your mom confessed to me what she knew about what you had planned;

—He mentioned that he planned to ask you in the new year or on your birthday, he had something really beautiful and romantic planned. He wanted us all to be present and make it something unmemorable for your relationship, he was a good guy, and would be a good husband—.

I couldn't say anything, I couldn't do anything but hug her, she seemed so fragile to me now and it made me want to always protect her, but I couldn't. I had to let her go at her own pace, let her take the mourning you deserve.

She left first and I feel it was mostly the fact that it hurt her to be among your stuffs and not feel your presence. But I did, I felt your presence as something warm that flooded my heart and embraced my soul. Because the fact that you are no longer here does not mean that you just left me alone, I know that you are still by my side.

When I had enough of you, when I felt that my heart was filled again with your essence, when it was time to leave the boys made me promise to come back, to visit them as much as I could, that as much as I wanted to, I would not leave them alone and aside.

Kai came up from behind everyone and with tears in his eyes he caught me in a sweet hug and with his words he made me feel the affection of a universe. I couldn't fail him, I wasn't going to leave them.

—We don't want to lose contact with you Noona, we love you and we don't want to lose you. Please keep coming back. Please remember that we are a part of Hyung just as he is a part of us—.

And I promised him, I promised him that I would come back. And I promised him that I would be there supporting them always, because as he said, they were part of you, and with them I would have the opportunity to relive that part of you that they had in them.

It wouldn't be the same, it never would be.

But just as I needed them, they were needing me, because I was a part of you too, a part that they were now going to need and I couldn't deny them.

Jun, 미안해. I'm sorry for you being gone now and all I can think about is how much I will miss you. I'm sorry for being selfish and only thinking about me. I'm sorry for not wanting to forget you and not being able to let go. But thank you for being a part of my life and teaching me everything you taught me. I will never forget how much you loved me, so please don't forget how much I was able to love you.

I will be happy, that's a promise to you.

Goodbye.

   ×

      ×

미안해;

                  I'm sorry

미안해 •| ᶜʰᵒᶤ ʸᵉᵒⁿʲᵘⁿ |• [ ᵖᵃʳᵗ ⁵ ] αlтєяηαтινє ƒιηαl

Very long text, the end of a series

1 2 3 4

we тaĸe ιт ғroм нere;

The door burst open giving way to the rushing sounds caused by the boys entering the room. I took a seat on the bed and they were all there.

Taehyun was the first to speak.

—They've found them. They've been put to safety.— He paused unnecessarily, should I celebrate? You were safe now.

—Yeonjun was not with them.— Soobin's words broke my heart again.

•×•

I woke up, not sure what was going on, without moving I managed to look around, the building collapsed on top of us. Could we die here, would they find us?

I have no idea how much time has passed or if they are even looking for us. I try to stand up. But a great pain in my left shoulder stops me.

It hurts a lot.

I don't remember where I am in the building and it's killing me that I left those girls alone and now we are in this situation. I try again, this time slower. Pain travels up and down my back but this time I don't stop.

I glance around again and remember that it was just that that got me into this mess.

A column. A column was what kept me from being crushed to death. I see no way out, everything is collapsed, I'm trapped.

I need to get out, I need to get out of here, I need you.

I move around the place looking for a way out. There must be a way, there must be a way out.

Please wait, I'm on my way to you.

•×•

We left the apartment immersed in a silence that was not normal for us. Especially the guys.

We were all willing to check on our own if it was true that you were not among those who were rescued.

Because if it was true, if you were not there, where were you? Where did you go?

I needed to convince the rescuers to look some more.

Please hang in there!

The rescue teams are already leaving the site by the time we arrive. It's over for them. They found most of the victims, that's all that matters to them.

For them the testimonies of these girls who claim that you saved them were not enough. I see them crying, I see them begging you to continue the search. They cry for you, they are worried about you. And that's enough for me to take their word for it.

But they don't really care.

They insist, they claim that you are there, they claim that it was you who saved their lives.

Where are you Choi Yeonjun?

I don't want to give you up for lost. I don't want to think that I have lost you. I don't want to get the idea that I lost you.

If they don't look for you, I will. I'm going to get you out of there.

I made sure that no one was watching me, that everyone was distracted so I could sneak through the concrete debris. Not far from where I was entering, the television stations were interviewing the rescued women.

A group of trainees and stylists from the agency.

They asked them the same questions, made them repeat their story over and over again. But they still didn't believe a word of it.

But I do, I really believe them.

My heart knows they are not lying. Whatever happens I will rescue you.

"He was there, I can swear it. He was the one who saved our lives".

"He saved us, he was willing to give his life for ours."

"I owe him my life, that's why I refuse to end the search. He is out there somewhere."

Once upstairs I heard my name being called. I didn't turn around though. Nothing would stop me. I would get to you.

But Kai's screams were getting louder and louder. Which would draw attention. I had to be quick, I had to keep them from reaching me.

—Noona what are you doing? Noona you're going to hurt yourself!— Seeing that I wasn't going to stop Heuning carefully climbed up after me. All the while wailing.—My hyungs are going to be upset.—

—Noona is going to get hurt, but she doesn't care.—

—Soobin Hyung is going to lose his mind when he notices Noona is gone.— Lost in his words we made it to the top of that huge concrete mountain, there were so many places to start looking.

You could be anywhere. They swear you helped them so we have to find you.

We can't give up.

We split up and started moving and searching through the rocks. We will find you, don't worry.

After about 20 minutes a distant scream caught my attention.

They were calling me, was it you? I stood still with the intention of listening clearly. But it wasn't you and it wasn't just me they were looking for.

The boys had already noticed our absence.

I tried to ignore them, tried to silence them in my mind. But I found it impossible the boys were insistent and I knew Kai wouldn't ignore them.

—Min where are you?—

—Heuningkai where did you go?—

—Hyuka!!!—

—Min!!!—

I still continued my search. If the rescuers quit, we wouldn't. At least I haven't

—Huyng!!! Hyung!!!—

—Heuning damn it! What are you doing up there?—Beomgyu's shout echoed through the place.

—I went up following Noona.—

—What?!!! MIN IS UP THERE?!!!—The unmistakable voice of Soobin reached my ears. After his shout all was silence again.

I continued my search, the concrete pieces were heavy, too heavy to tell the truth. But it didn't matter because I just wanted to get to your side.

I felt in my heart something that told me we were close. We were close to you. I leaned down again to move another rock when something abruptly brought me back to my full height.

—Are you crazy? What do you think you can do up here alone? You're only going to hurt yourself!—he was clearly angry and about to lose his mind.

•×•

I was worried about you, how ironic isn't it? I'm the one at risk of being buried to death, but I still can't be selfish, I can't think only of myself. Every minute here I was flooded with worry about how you were doing.

The more time passed, the more it became a torture to keep my eyes open for long periods of time. I was resigned to the fact that I would never get out of here.

Time seemed to move so slowly that it made me think about the probability that maybe I was already dead, but it was not possible, how did I know?

Because of the pain. I once heard that it was pain that made us human or something like that. Because of that and the immense pain that spread through my body I knew I was still alive.

But what I wasn't sure yet was if I would still be alive to remind you how much I love you.

What did we do to deserve this, is it some kind of lesson to make you value what you have and those who are with you, is it some kind of punishment? Thousands of questions come to me in the moment, but so does your image.

Your smile.

It was your smile that made me fix my eyes on you, did I ever tell you that?

Your smile was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and of course it still is. That was the first time I saw you.

It was right after our debut.

Soobin was very tired and looked sick, but he wouldn't admit it. One day just like that you appeared in our practice room, carrying some lunch boxes with you.

Beomgyu immediately stood up to help you and Soobin pulled you to him in a tight embrace. His face and yours glowed with happiness as you were in each other's arms.    And something stirred inside me.

It turned out that you brought some snacks for everyone, soobin bragged that you were the best cook. I can't deny it, your food was delicious.

Remembering that day I had an immense craving for that rich food that was your favorite, something typical of your city. Some time later it became mine too.

  •×•

One by one each of the boys came up behind us.

Soobin was still upset, but I knew he would help us, he would support us. We would find you, we would.

We basically split into groups so we could move the rocks. About 20 minutes passed and there was definitely no trace of you.

Come on Jun, you can't do this to us.

Time went by and little by little more people joined our search. The girls you rescued, agency staff. Even MOA was coming from different parts of the city to help us find you, we all wanted you back.

The authorities were completely opposed to what we were doing, because there was a possibility that someone would suffer some kind of injury. But we didn't care.

More MOA's slowly arrived to help. Girls who had taken a train, or taken a plane ride to help find their idol. I would love for you to see the love everyone is showing you right now.

Why wouldn't we let you, wouldn't we.

The newsreels were all about filming us. They were broadcasting us for hours, broadcasting as much as they could of our search work.

In the headline you could clearly read ;

THEY ARE THOSE WHO STILL HAVE HOPE

And boy, did we have hope.

No one was giving up. We are fighting for you. Hours went by, endless hours in the sun. And now I was really losing hope. We had moved tons of debris and nothing to show for it.

Should we resign ourselves?

I took a moment. A moment to admire all these people who took the risk of joining our search. What will happen will happen. Whether we found you or not, I was going to be eternally grateful for it. Maybe it was time to take a break. Or maybe it was time to give up and stop.

The sun was killing me.

The heat was intense and the glint of something was burning in my eyes. I covered them for a moment, it was bugging me.

Where was it coming from?

I slowly withdrew my hand and looked around for it. I couldn't believe it. It had to be. It had to be. It was your watch.

Your watch was barely peeking through the rubble.

—It's here, it's here."—

•×•

The more time passed the stronger the pressure I felt.

My heart ached so much, I ached so much from how much I missed you and the fear I felt about leaving you alone. I was desperate to get out. To come back to you.

My body slowly stopped responding, maybe because I was tired. Maybe because of the hunger I felt or maybe because of how damaged and hurt it was.

And just now that he was so close to freedom. It was a matter of minutes, a matter of moving a few more rocks. But it was impossible, I reached my limit. I saw the light, I saw the light of my freedom but everything went black.

I wish I could turn back time and not fight with you. Or failing that take Soobin's advice and stay with you the whole day.

•×•

Taehyun ran beside me as soon as he heard my screams.

We had finally found you!

In a matter of seconds there were dozens of hands moving and throwing the rocks in the area where you were. All treading cautiously but in a hurry to get you out of there as soon as possible.

I'm not going to lie to you. I was praying to God that you would be okay, that he wouldn't take you away from me. When we finally managed to get you out of that place, the paramedics snatched you from our arms.

They did not allow us to see you, they immediately transferred you to the nearest hospital, they had to make sure you were okay, that you were not hurt in any way.

I don't know how long we spent in the waiting room of that hospital, they didn't allow us to see you, they didn't want to give us any report.

We didn't know anything.

Was it so serious?

Doctors came in and out of your room non-stop, but they kept ignoring our pleas for information, it got to the point where they forbade the nurses to come near us.

And just like that, one day when we were still waiting for some details about your health condition, this girl came up to us.

It was a nurse, she asked me to accompany her, without hesitation I went after her.

She would take me to you.

You had woken up, after a week, you had woken up and the first thing you did was to ask for me.

•×•

I woke up once again.

I was alone and without further ado I began to remember everything I had experienced being trapped in the building.

A nurse came into the room, not once did she look at me.

—Park Min, I need to see Park Min.— The nurse left the room without giving me a word or even a small glance. Time marched on, but nothing was happening.

Or so I thought, because within seconds after my thought the door to the room opened again.

But this time it showed me someone totally different. This time it was your beautiful eyes peering out from the other side of that door.

You crept in. Neither of us uttered a word. Then you threw yourself weakly onto the gurney crying and with what little strength I had I clung to you even tighter.

I was afraid that we would be separated again. And now we would not be able to find our way back like this time.

—All the time I was so worried about you.—

—Why? It was you who was stuck in that place, you should have left that for us. I was so scared I'd never see you again, that we'd get separated like that after that stupid fight.—

—I was worried about getting to leave you alone, I knew you'd be scared and I was so mad at me for turning down that dinner the other night.—

—That's in the past, let's try to forget about it. We're here together now.—

—Please never forget how much I love you.—

Honey, Happy new year - Choi Yeonjun

I needed a break after all the hustle and bustle, all the hugging and screaming. I slowly walked out onto the balcony of the place, hugged myself, gently rubbing my arms.

It felt a little chilly outside and I had left my coat on my seat.

I walked up to the railing watching the beautiful fireworks that adorned the sky, wow. What a beautiful sight, what a beautiful way to start a new year, I took a quick glance inside the room, the guys were still giving each other hugs, a few handshakes accompanied by promises and proposals. I was happy to be here with them, to have them in my life and to be able to spend this beautiful moment together.

I was in awe, the way the lights in the sky illuminated the Eiffel Tower, the people in the street hugging each other, the voices of the boys in the background, I could only wonder what I had done to deserve to live this moment.

A warmth surrounded me from behind, as I turned my face a little I could see Yeonjun's beautiful smile as he wrapped his jacket around me.

—Hi.— He leaned a little on me to kiss my temple.—I lost you with the boy's commotion.— He looked at me from the side.

—I'm sorry, I felt a little suffocated.— I saw him deny softly.

—You don't have to apologize. — He shrugged.— What a beautiful view.—I watched him as he admired the scenery, an immense peace filled my being, and the words left my mouth.

—I want to thank you for being by my side, for making me happy.—He turned to look at me, his face seemed expressionless, but his eyes showed many meanings.

—You know, I want to give you all my love, I want to give you my heart so that you will always be by my side .— He turned me gently so that we were face to face .—If we get tired of this world, if they oppose us... I promise you, we will always stay together.— He smiled reassuringly, that was one of my biggest worries and he was making a promise right now.

I knew that with him I could say everything that was on my mind, I could bring out everything I had in my being, so I was not afraid.

—I pray to heaven and fate that you are the one for me—. he smiled again, stroking one of my cheeks.

—I would be so happy if you were my last destiny, I want to be forever with you,—. He moved a little closer to me.— Happy new year, honey—. He whispered against my lips before pressing his lips together creating a sweet kiss.

A bright light and the sound of a camera made me turn away from him to find Beomgyu holding a Polaroid and the boys smiling at me behind him. I wouldn't change anything about this moment, I wouldn't change having them in my life, nor would I change loving Yeonjun the way I did.

❝ JACK FROST NIPPING AT YOUR NOSE ❞ boyfriend!choi yeonjun.

A/N … special dt @tatanbin here bc u read this piece the first time it was posted as a wip and left extremely generous feedback 😭 and i am forever grateful <3

you and your boyfriend were walking down the street one winter evening when you felt a sudden chill brush past your face.

you quivered as you shook your head from the unanticipated breeze. “god it’s cold. i feel jack frost nipping at my nose.”

“um, no.” yeonjun puffs a heavy breath out of his mouth, the winter fog making an icy cloud out of his demeanor. “i find that phrase quite offensive, actually.”

you laugh a little. “and why is that?”

“it shouldn't be jack frost nipping at your nose. it should be me.” yeonjun emits a low growl comically similar to a guard dog, pretending to bite at your face just a few centimeters away. “your boyfriend. me.”

you laugh even harder, and that made your boyfriend frown even more.

“what’s so funny?”

“christ, jjunie,” you sigh delightedly as you rub a hand through your face in bare attempt to keep it warm. “it's just an expression.”

“an offensive one.”

“jack frost isn't even real.”

“how do you know?” the silver-haired challenges, eyebrows raised in triumph. “why do you think we have winter here?”

“uh, the tilt of the earth's axis?”

“wow.” yeonjun clicked his tongue as he shook his head in a teasingly solemn manner. “now you're just pushing it.”

neither of you happen to realize you've already stopped walking until you hear the wicked giggles of three children, hiding behind the bench that was barely a few feet away. lost, you tilt your head to the side as their's tilted up in salute to what was above waiting for you both. oh.

oh.

a pair of evergreen leaves aligned by a small cluster of three red berries. what perfect timing.

the man beside you let out what was nearly an inaudible gasp before snickering and looking away. after a minute of shared laughter, he then diverted his attention to the kids to stick out his tongue at them playfully.

“run along now children, things like these are a bit too graphic for your age!” and then it was your turn to gasp as you pushed your boyfriend out of reach.

yeonjun laughed pridefully before grabbing ahold of your waist and pulling you close. his wide grin soon tamed into a smaller tight-lipped smile but that made no utter difference to the amount of love his eyes had it in for you. his forehead pressed against yours once he leaned overwhelmingly near, eyes fluttered shut and that was your cue to do so as well—

“OW!” you yelp, grabbing your now reddening nose. “yeonjun, what the hell!”

“oops.” your boyfriend now wore that shit-eating smirk of an accomplishment (the one you want to punch off his face really bad), leaned against the outer brick wall as he mindlessly picks at his nails. he then chuckles at your bewildered state before pecking the tip of your nose in the form of an unspoken apology.

“i didn’t bite too hard, did i, snowflake?”