Yes I've Tried Internal Motivation - Tumblr Posts

Here’s a question I’ve been wrestling with for the past few weeks:

I do a lot of daydreaming. At any given point in time, I’m deep in my thoughts playing out some scenario or another. Most of the time, they’re not ridiculous or anything - it’s just me organizing my music, making levels, going out and being social, or playing video games. Remember this post? It’s still an issue.

Why, then, can’t I turn those thoughts into reality?

I wouldn’t say any of this is unreasonable. I mean, what’s any of that take out of me? Thirty minutes of my time at worst? That’s nothing in the grand scheme of things, I can just go right back to whatever I was doing afterward. And then I have the satisfaction of getting the thing done to go with it.

The real problem is that in the meantime, I’m doing nothing. Sitting around listening to music, or watching a video on Youtube, or reading my dashboard here on Tumblr, not even taking time out of my day to get dressed sometimes. I know this is the life for some people. No, really, I get that. First-world problems and all. I get it. But that is not me. I don’t like to sit around and twiddle my thumbs - I like to get stuff done. I enjoy being creative and funny and productive; moving and breathing and doing.

So I don’t understand where this whole “sit around and be a blob of consumption” thing came from. Especially since, the whole time, I’m imagining how awesome it would be to get up and get dressed, when it takes no more energy to flail my arms and legs to put socks on my head and pants on my feet. Great, now I’m imagining me being all happy and doing stuff - why can’t I just do this in reality?

I am a freaking potato and I don’t know what to do about it.