Not Even God Would Be Able To Understand How Much I'd Like To Make Your Life A Fucking Hell Just Like

Not even God would be able to understand how much I'd like to make your life a fucking hell just like you did

and oh boy, I feel excited just by thinking about doing it. Most of my life has been revealing and seeing truths people refuses to believe while some of them even knows it but are afraid to admit and being excluded, I actually like it 'cause it made me realize how people are just weak and it's always pleasurable to fully understand something people doesn't even really care but are just a bunch of fearful empty minds and yknow, there's few things that feel better than actually being right about people being wrong

Someday I'll document in detail how some sexualities and gender identities (especifically agender, asexuality, aromanticity, non-binary, demisexuality and things I'd like to also relate like open relationships and polygamy) are directly related to trauma and how exactly the idea of ​​using a colored flag with a different name to identify how the person identifies instead of recommending treatment is something absurdly toxic and insensitive coming from the LGBT community

I'd include trans here too but honestly I feel it's a deeper and different hole

As an autistic male, I just don't see how a person would be able to truly love me romantically and the more I study about blackpill, the more I understand this is impossible to happen.

I'm unable of behaving like the male provider that women look for, I can't read all the lines they expect me to, I'm not visually attractive enough for a woman to feel genuine attraction for me and it's not enough to hold any of them even if I'd had anyone interested I'm being very carefully in this " attractive enough" 'cause even though I'm a normie-ish, I'm still stuck in this uncanny valley , I'm not even mentioning my most personal problems, let alone that

It's not a question of self development or improvement, I'm biologically UNABLE to be any of this or do any of this because I'm made this way, saying I'm not trying to improve pisses me off 'cause I've already tried my best for so long and it never gave me anything other than pain

Shut up all the "I'm cringe but I'm free" bullshittalk, accept the insignificance of your lives and stop thinking you're anything other than reason for others to laugh and the lowest part of the social pyramid we live on

I just haven't had the energy to post, so even if I go weeks without posting something and sometimes without logging in here, I'll still keep this account active

If any of them had walked the paths I had to walk, put on the shoes I had to wear, maybe they'd at very least understand something about me