I Hate My Sister

I hate my sister

She is obnoxious

Contradicting her actions with her words

Delibertly striking when you're weak

Always trying to appear like the golden child

Acting like she is he most superb person in the family

Putting others above her and then complaining about it

Never having a voice yet always talking over others at home

Not keeping anything tidy and still pointing out your mess

Taking the attention she desires always

Not once having to live up to anyone's expectations

The wolf in sheep's clothing act that disgusts me

I don't hate my sister I loath her

I envy her yet

It would be my worst nightmare to end up like her

Because she gets all I've ever wanted

All I've ever worked so hard for

She doesn't realise how privileged she is

And still tries to downplay her special treatment

I hate my sister

Because she is all I'll never amount to

And she has all I've ever wanted

I hate

My sister

There is one aspect of my body that I hate, which others might find weird

I have no scars

For every wound that has been inflicted upon me

I hold no evidence for the battles I've fought

For the abuse that happened behined closed curtains

One might want to have no memories of their dark times

But how else am I supposed to know if the events were true

My heart may want to forget everything but my mind yearns

It yearns for the recognition of the past

It yearns to tell people about my scars

Yet the scars heal

They heal all the time

And without any scars I tend to forget what has happened

My flesh and bones move on while my thoughts are still stuck

Everyting around me dissapears without farewell

Is the mind too slow or has the body rushed too quickly?

The moon is loved in every phase

But what about the dark rainy clouds that threaten the warmth of our sun?

Will the clouds get love as well?

My father has abandonment issues

He avoids being close to others because he hates parting with people he has grown close to

My mother also has abandonment issues

She doesn't try to get close to people because she has anxiety about how others perceive her

She always prepares for the worst, a lot of what if thinking all of the time

Today, I saw both of them cry

Both cried because of a parting

One grieved and the other reminisced

One was smiling at the end and the other lost their smile

One was thankful, the other devastated

Yet both cried

Both were bawling their eyes out

And both tried to hide it from me

One pretended everything was fine and needed a push in order to tell the truth

And the other was thankful for the comfort

You would think my father pushed me away but it was my mother

You would think that my mother was the one who would accept my comfort but it was my father

Everyone griefs in a different way

And everyone's grief can take many forms and shapes

My father had to part with his team he worked years with because of his health

My mother had to part with her friends son who drowned

Different situations, different kinds of grief

Different ways of accepting reality

Different ways of thinking

Yet my parents still remain the same

They both sat in silence with their grief

The moon is loved in every phase

But what about the dark rainy clouds that threaten the warmth of our sun?

Will the clouds get love as well?

What is the difference between a three leaf clover and a four leaf clover?

Is the four leaf only special because of the rarity?

Why so people take the three leaf clover for granted?

Because it's always there?

Because of the amount you can find?

What makes the four-leaf clover special compared to the three-leaf clover?

(This is not about clovers)