I've Always Pretended To Be Happy To Not Worry Others

I've always pretended to be happy to not worry others

My facade is so strong i sometimes fool myself into believing that I'm happy

But in the dead of the night

Alone in my room it hits me like a train

I'm not

I'm not happy

I'm not okay

I'm not

A Lowly Servant

Summary -

Merlin feels he is not a friend of Arthur or the Knights. He is just a servant. Just a lowly servant. Why would they even be his friends? He is just Arthur's manservant. Nothing else.

Chapter 6

"You want us to stop attacking your villages? And that we go away? You mean us no harm? Hah! You expect me to believe you? You, who killed so many of my brothers! You expect me to believe you!! Never!" barked Elijah. 

Arthur looked down, clearly ashamed of what he had done. And the fact that his people had to suffer because of him.  "I'll do whatever it takes. Whatever you say, just leave them be." pleaded Arthur.

"Whatever I say, eh? You will do just as I say? What about your Knights? Will they?" sneered Elijah. Percival and Gwaine's hands tightened on their swords. Whatever Elijah was going to suggest wasn't going to be a pleasant walk in the garden. 

"Alright then! Five of my men will fight against you all. All at once but one for one. And the fight will go on until one falls. Not in each pair...oh no! I am not that cruel. Hah! No, no no. One man from all. That's it. That's all I ask." he said.

"How are we to be sure you won't use magic?" questioned Leon. "Not all of my men are sorcerers. See these ten here? They are the sorcerers and they won't be fighting. And if we did use a spell won't you be able to see?" he said and rode away with his men. 

"Gaius! All those swords, the ones Elijah's men had. All of them were forged in dragon's breath. It also seemed that they were coated with something." whispered Merlin. "Most probably poison. Of course they aren't going to use magic, their weapons are prepared in such a way that none of them would even survive a gash." said Gaius back in reply. 

"I have to do something!" said Merlin. 

"You only have until tonight, Merlin. Think of something fast." said Gaius and went off. '

Merlin thought for a minute and then he had his answer. It was the only way and if not...he didn't care. He felt it to be best for all...

Chapter 3

"What you are thinking is not correct Merlin. Why would you think they hate you?" asked Gaius over dinner.

"What else can be the reason, Gaius? They don't behave like that with other servants. It's just me. I must have done something to make them behave like this. I must have imagined Arthur's politeness as his friendship. I am his manservant. They are the Knights. If not, his equal they are his friends. I should understand that. They are not my equals and thus cannot be my friends." 

Gaius sighed. There is no use telling Merlin anything once he has decided otherwise. He just hoped that Merlin will be proved wrong.

What if Peter's Family was Alive? (Part 2)

"You were what!?" exclaimed Tony. "Mary Fitzpatrick," replied Natasha sounding calm. 

"You are Spiderman's mother?" questioned Steve. "Apparently" "Why didn't you tell us?" asked Clint.  "Because I didn't know that myself."  "How does one NOT remember giving BIRTH!?" screeched Tony. He was very upset by the fact apparent fact that Natasha could be Peter's mother.  "The Red Room must have forced her to forget. Given her something that made her," replied Wanda. A silence settled in the room. 

Natasha had always wanted kids of her own. When she had visited Clint's family, met Cooper and Lila, her longing had increased. But now that she found out that she had a kid of her own, she didn't know what to feel. Was she happy? Was she shocked? Was she...scared? 

What if he doesn't like me? What if he hates me for leaving him? For forgetting about him? Why do I not remember him? Or...Richard for the fact? What had happened? How do I tell him? How will he react? Doesn't he live with his Aunt? Doesn't that make her my sister-in-law? I have a....family? All these were running inside her head. 

"We will have to tell them about this Tony," said Sam and Tony slumped in his chair nodding.  "Should I give them a call?" asked Wanda, looking hesitantly at Natasha.   "No! Not...today. I-I need some time," answered Natasha.

"Are you alright?" asked Wanda walking up to her.  "What do you think? I just found out that I have a son," said Natasha ruefully. She turned to Tony, "Tell me about him?" 

"Hah! There is a lot to that kid. What'd you wanna know?" "Just the basics." "Well, he's spiderman. And he is 16. He has two friends, Ned and MJ, and lives with his Aunt May. He goes to Midtown School of Science of Technology. His birthdate's August 10th. What more?" 

"Tasha..." Clint said coming over and hugging her.  Natasha let out a huge sigh. She knew if they waited longer that would be unfair, to Peter. They had to tell him the truth. She had to.  "What about tomorrow? Call Spider...Peter. Call Peter tomorrow. Peter and May." she said, looking at Tony. He nodded in reply.  A silence settles in the room, which was disrupted when...

"TONY!" yelled Happy, rushing in the room.  "Oh-! What!?" exclaimed Tony.  "It's the Spiderkid." "What about him? You dropped him didn't you?"  "I was waiting for him, he never came." "What do you mean?" asked Natasha. "He used the suit. He went back on his own." "What's the big deal? He has done that before, what's the matter now?" said Tony. "The matter is that he was attacked or something. I was tracking his suit and now I can't see where he is." Happy said, showing the screen to Tony and Natasha. 

(PS - I haven't written beyond this so now it's up to your imagination)

Chapter 2

Arthur was sitting alone by the window. As soon as he entered Merlin knew he was sad. 

"So, how has your day been?" He asked trying to make him talk. He was sure Arthur heard him. He wasn't too far away and neither was his voice low but Arthur didn't respond. Merlin went about his daily routines. Arthur hadn't moved an inch in the past hour and Merlin was worried. 

"What's troubling you? You can tell me. You know that." "Why would you think that? How can you even understand my problems? I am a King, Merlin! The answer to my problems will not be with my servant. Now get out and make yourself useful! Tell the knights to come to the council room. If you'd be able to, that is!" he snapped.  Merlin would never get used to Arthur snapping at him. Neither the knights. Something had changed and Merlin couldn't figure out what exactly. Arthur had been angry with him in the past but not like this. Never like this. But Gwaine? Elyan? They were his friends, and it was not as if he had done something extreme. He was being snapped at by all of them. Even the usually calm and composed Sir Leon. He felt as he didn't belong here anymore.