Peter: Guys, Could You Help Me With My Assignment? We Need To List Why Water Is Beneficial To Us.

Peter: Guys, could you help me with my assignment? We need to list why water is beneficial to us.

Steve: Well, if you want to lose weight, you can drink water.

Bucky: Need to relieve headaches? Drink water.

Tony, gesturing to himself: Clean face? Drink water.

Natasha: Tired of a person? Drown them.

Everyone in the lounge area:

Bucky: ...Y'know, Nat's solution applies to my problem as well, depending on the context.

mom can i please fist fight someone

i literally have no words except what the fuck

Tony: How about you, kiddo? What do you want?

Peter: I want peace of my mind. To stop thinking about the inevitable deaths of my loved ones and that I'll have to bury them someday, and to stop crying myself to sleep every night.

Tony:

Peter:

McDonald's employee on speaker: I'm afraid we don't have that, sir.

Steve: Happy Wednesday, everyone!

Peter: Wait, it's Wednesday?

Tony: It is Wednesday, underoos.

Peter: What happened to Tuesday?

Tony: I believe that was yesterday.

Peter: What? Why? How??

Loki, out of nowhere: By the progression of time, I'd assume, spiderling.

Clint: Happy Father's day!

Peter: I hope my father's happy from 6 feet below, I wonder what entertainment he has down there.

Pepper: Peter, what did we say about the dead family jokes? I'm afraid that'll be a cause for another appointment— Tony, why do you look like that?

Tony, shrugging as he drinks his coffee: I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on me. He’s not just dead, he's also very condescending.

Scott, under his breath, scheduling an appointment for both of them: Jesus Christ, like father like son, apparently.

Morgan, doing her homework in similes: Happiness is like rainbows! If you see one, you smile because it's so colorful! Sometimes, you get two and you get double happy!

Peter, whispering: Sometimes, you always get none even after watching so many rainy days stop and you just sit there, disappointed that no matter your effort, happiness doesn't want you and life just truly hates you.

Tony, overhearing and speed-dialing the top 10 therapists in the area: