Peter: Guys, Could You Help Me With My Assignment? We Need To List Why Water Is Beneficial To Us.

Peter: Guys, could you help me with my assignment? We need to list why water is beneficial to us.

Steve: Well, if you want to lose weight, you can drink water.

Bucky: Need to relieve headaches? Drink water.

Tony, gesturing to himself: Clean face? Drink water.

Natasha: Tired of a person? Drown them.

Everyone in the lounge area:

Bucky: ...Y'know, Nat's solution applies to my problem as well, depending on the context.

mom can i please fist fight someone

i literally have no words except what the fuck

Clint: Happy Father's day!

Peter: I hope my father's happy from 6 feet below, I wonder what entertainment he has down there.

Pepper: Peter, what did we say about the dead family jokes? I'm afraid that'll be a cause for another appointment— Tony, why do you look like that?

Tony, shrugging as he drinks his coffee: I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on me. He’s not just dead, he's also very condescending.

Scott, under his breath, scheduling an appointment for both of them: Jesus Christ, like father like son, apparently.

Peter: But Mr. Stark, this is a once-in-a-lifetime oppurtunity!

Tony: For the last time, Peter, I am not letting you go anywhere near the damn electric chair.

Tony: So, I was recently enlightened.

Pepper, sighing: What now, Tony?

Tony: I learned that you can Thor-honest sue someone for the "loss of enjoyment of life", and boy, DO I HAVE A FUCKING LIST.

Peter: Yes, we are in the shit. No, we never give up.

Tony: Peter, you have a stAB WOUND AND YOU'RE LITERALLY BLEEDING OUT RIGHT NOW, PLEASE GET OFF THE DAMN CEILING—