EMMA REALLY IS SELFISH. (RAY TOO BUT HES MORE SUBTLE)

EMMA REALLY IS SELFISH. (RAY TOO BUT HE’S MORE SUBTLE)

At least, when it comes to Norman. Mainly, anyway.

Because darn it these parallels are here again wrecking havoc in my mind and showing, emphasizing what we may have missed before.

I didn’t see it before. But this. This is really really selfish.

In this scene Emma was willing to throw away everything. She was risking every single thing they have planned for for months to escape.

It wasn’t a heroic moment. It wasn’t a moment where the main character was upright and courageous, doing the right thing for the greater good. Because it wasn’t the right thing to do. Norman’s shipment was the way to go. (Even Ray who loves Norman maybe as much as Emma did had accepted this) Emma’s plan of letting him escape in front of mama wasn’t.

It was a pure act of selfishness. She didn’t want to lose him. And she was losing him. He was going to die and whatshouldshedo?

Emma is a smart girl. She knows what she was doing. She knew the consequences if she succeeded. And even then, she did it anyway.

She had been willing to expose the very device everybody needed to escape. Her leg, that was very much important if she ever hoped to make it out of GF. Ray’s six years of planning.

All of it was negligible compared to Norman’s life. She was willing to sacrifice it all: Her chances of survival, Ray’s six years, Everybody’s means for escape.

It was selfish. Stupidly selfish that even Norman snapped at her for what she tried to do.

She didn’t succeed here. Norman was shipped out. And she believed he was dead.

I might be bias because I love Norman and everything, but reading the arc after the escape, I think a part of Emma died with Norman.

Even after finding out about Connie’s, and those who were shipped out before death, Emma still managed to be herself. She was genuinely happy and hopeful and simply a burst of sunshine and kindness. All of them were going to escape. They would all make it out of there alive.

She was Emma. She was awake to the reality of this harsh world, but she was whole. Complete. She was strong. With him by her side, they would all make it out of GF.

They had lost many but they would move on. Move forward.

But his death hit her hard. Connie’s and their other siblings’ death couldn’t compare. Norman was different. He always had been. It was like she lost a part of her. Maybe she did.

With Norman, the brain, the man with the plans, the stronghold, gone, they needed someone else to be their torch to guide them. While very tactical and independent, Ray was never a leader. He was a supporter. He was the ace. He was an important key but he was never the one to open the door. So, Emma had to step up to fill up Norman’s role.

She had to fill Norman’s shoes. Had to be strong. Had to be the family’s new guide to this unknown world. But… was she still whole?

In GF, it was like she was looking at a future. A future for all of them to live on. To live happily with everyone.

But after his death, she was moving forward for the mere sake of her family. To keep them alive. It wasn’t very optimistic anymore. It was selfless. She devoted her life for the sake of her family. For their survival. Maybe even for keeping her last promise to Norman. Not for her future happiness anymore.

Emma had to grow out of naiveity. Learned how to hunt. To gather neccesities. To kill. Because she loved her family. And they needed her.

Even in Goldy Pond, she knew she couldn’t die. Her family was waiting for her. She had things to do. Cattle children to liberate. A future that would keep them all safe. A promise to uphold.

Time was good to the family. To Emma. Maybe sewed up wounds of the past. She moved on. With Ray, her family and his memory, she moved forward. But we never really see Emma catch her breath, do we? Never really do anything for herself anymore. Never act like her age and make cute little gestures we all loved back at GF. It was always for survival. And it’s kind of understandable given the situation. But even then, we see the other kids being really happy, genuinely happy and living.

Even as a leader, she was entitled to do so. Back at GF, she did but now, it was all about plans and actions for Emma.

I think maybe it’s because she never really had time to properly grieve him. Between planning for escape and surviving outside, there’s little room to hurt. And with all these little kids looking up to her as a pillar of support, she can’t manage to show her pain. It’s always bottled up; her pain for losing him.

But that changes.

We see in chapter 119 the sweet relief, the explosion of emotion from our sweet little girl who had to mother all her siblings. A throwback to her old self. (We even see her clothes and shoes change back to her past. Can’t put it here coz of 10 pic limit.)

The moment she sees him, something clicks. Something breaks and something goes back to place.

For a moment, she forgets. All her plans. Her family. Survival.

Everything. She drops the very pen that kept them alive for years. And rushes forward. Because suddenly, she was whole again. There he is. The part she was missing. Her ultimate regret. Right in front of her. Breathing, smiling, saying her name as he did in her dreams.

For the first time in so long. Emma finally feels. And she feelsfeelsFEELS.

And for a moment, she was herself. Whole, happy and carefree. He was there. And finally, she was given a second chance.

But then… she sees something else.

Something that binds him.

Something that reminds her of how she lost him in the first place.

There was a familiar tug holding him down again. A weight on his shoulders familiar to her own responsibilities but also so collossal in its difference to hers.

She sees him there, the same gentle person he was before, but he was buried in this obligation and desire to build a new and better world for every cattle children.

He was the same but he was so far away. He was here but he wasn’t free. It was shipment day all over again. The entire cattle children’s fate on his hands.

And she sees. Sees how probable it is for her to lose him again. Yeah. There’s this fact that genocide is evil and there are other ways (pipe dreams) to liberate cattle children but in this scene…

Emma just doesn’t want him to go away again.

And she may have to lose him again. For good this time. May it be his life or humanity there’s a really big chance that she’s losing him in exchange of complete liberty.(I’ve discussed this on my post about Norman’s 0 love for himself).

She’s a smart girl. She knows the consequences of her deliberately opposing Norman’s plans.

Knows how little their chance of survival in her plans compared to his. But her plans doesn’t include mass murder.

Her plans doesn’t include him sacrificing himself.

To put it roughly, her plans saves cattle children less and Norman more and demons most haha.

Because, noone would lose anything in Norman’s plan. There is only gain for their growing family. And everybody else approves. Ecstatic, even. Only Norman has to bear this weight. And he was willing to do so.

But Emma (and Ray) wasn’t. She can’t.

So Emma decides. She’s selfish again. Wants for her happiness again. She risks everything again. For this pipe dream of hers.

Because she can’t lose him for a second time. Can’t sacrifice this newfound wholesome.

In chapter 130, she finally admits. She was finally able to be honest and carefree to show her family her feelings about GF escape. How it wasn’t a success. Because he wasn’t there.

Here, Emma was finally herself again. Her bottled up feelings are all out in the open. We see a different Emma. It’s not just for survival anymore.

She sees a future again. Where Norman is there. She hopes not only for lives saved. But for smiles too. She’s hopeful again.

That’s why she leaves. She bears a little of his weight he carries because his freedom means hers as well.

Norman brought back Emma’s sense of self again. It’s more than just her family now. Because he’s alive. The chain of regret she’s carried for so long is cut down. And there’s something to look forward to again.

And she’s selfish enough not to let him give himself for the sake of cattle children.

She’s selfish enough to fight for her desire to keep him. Selfish enough to fight even him to save him from himself.

Because Emma isn’t having this. She’s not losing him. Never again.

Emma is selfish. If it meant him returning to her with no new series of burdens and decisions to atone for, then she’s willing to drag everybody and gauge this pipe dreams of her into reality.

And she repeatedly admits it.

This stubborn, bull-headed girl we love isn’t gonna lose him. Not this time. Never again. So look out Norman.

I applaud this girl for giving much love to the boi who needs it as much as he deprives himself of it. (And that Ray loves both Norman and Emma to support her in this.)

so much people died for Eren’s selfishness, it makes me dizzy.

 i absolutely can’t believe that people are still defending him (not talking about anime stans) even after what he had done. there’s a limit in supporting your favorite character, i believe Isayama is doing a great job to show us how bad Eren’s acts are, how stupid, immature and selfish that man is and you should NOT support a mass murderer, not even when you know how “””””sad”””” his story (his backstory is nothing compared to mikasa, livai and ymir for example). 

Halil and Ramzi. i’ll never forget about these two characters. these two. what Eren did to them was the most horrendous, awful, horrible thing. every freaking synonym of awful wouldn’t be enough to describe how disgusting it was. 

I'm never ever getting over this panel like... Look at Norman here: his eyes are so gentle, his smile so soft. In this arc Norman is literally killing himself piece by piece: everyday he's burying his feelings and empathy and humanity; everyday he's burying his fear and dread for a death for him and the other Lambda escapees that he believes to be unavoidable (according to Shirai he believed to have no more than a year left to live); everyday he knows that the time he's left to spend with Emma and Ray is at its limit. Still, when called by Emma and Ray the warmest, kindest smile lights up his face, a smile that embodies the most genuine and sincere happiness: the joy that spending even a little time with them, his dearest friends, brings him is unlimited, and that's despite everything he's going through. Because just being with them is enough to remind him once again that everything he's doing and all he's sacrificing is worth it, if it's for them. I don't know I'm very soft for him, this boy deserves the world.

Just pointing out that siding with the warriors and hating on the SC still means that Isayama's message went over your head

I liked how Norman stare at Ray like: protect Emma.

Ah; I think this is a good prompt for me to reply with a CHAPTER 128 META on:

Norman’s trust and love for Emma and Ray

I want to pick apart Norman’s behaviour and analyse it, since I think he and his growth is easily misunderstood due to having a tendency of trying to hide his true feelings. Luckily we have LOTS of REFERENCES from the escape arc to work with.

First of all; this is not primarily a shipping post (though you can take some parts of it as that), and ofc spoilers for anime only people.

Secondly, I have seen some people say that Norman seems to be too harsh with Emma, and doesn’t care if she dies during this risky mission, and that…

is simply wrong.

Norman cares so much it is killing him on the inside, but he chooses to let them go because he loves and trusts both of them.

Because if you love someone, you let them have their independence and make their own choices, even if you DISAGREE with them.

It is made exceedingly clear that Norman disagrees with Emma. However his growth is shown that compared to the escape arc, he makes his feelings and resistance clear from the start.

While back then he monologues, now we see him make his points outloud. And look at how similar they are to 2 years ago. Norman is shown to still hold the same beliefs as then.

(Note that I have numbered the references so you can match everything, since there are a LOT of callbacks.)

Regarding references 4 and 5, note that the panels show the same view of Norman, BUT in the escape arc he PUTS UP A FRONT and smiles, but in the new arc, he is HONEST.

He has grown enough to realize that he can’t lie about his worldview anymore to Emma just to make her happy. He is ready to be realistic with her from the start.

The thing to note however is that despite being honest, Norman still keeps his calm. He is firm, but very collected in explaining his reasoning… except when Emma comes up with a crazy plan. And… the SAME thing has happened in the escape arc.

The authors have even sacrificed 2 panels’ space to draw attention to this parallel that most likely Norman himself realizes as well.

Just like back in the past, the only thing that can really throw off Norman from his game is the thought of Emma and Ray putting their lives in danger.

Norman literally goes mad with worry, going as far as shouting when even Ray, who is supposed to be logical and rational supports Emma’s plan. It happens in both cases, and the expressions are basically identical on his face.

He completely loses his sh1t composure at the thought of them being hurt.

Emma comforts him the same way as she did back then too: simple, loving, physical contact. The difference is that this time the embrace is much closer, much more intimate and Ray doesn’t want anything to do with it, because he is a self-conscious boy who is not okay anymore with THIS LEVEL OF INTIMACY thank you very much.

The panels fit so well together, it looks almost as if Norman is remembering that past scene, and perhaps he is…

Because what he does next is also similar to what he did back then: he draws up his walls by distancing himself and lies to Emma to placate her.

He makes the exact same face when he lied in the old arc. But he is NOT lying about the same thing.

(my personal theory is that he is lying because he plans on going to Gracefield to rescue Phil and co. while Emma is gone… but it might be the case that it’s more along the lines that he plans on self-sacrifising himself in his plans for some reason like in @vobomon and my demon gene theory…)

He has already been honest about disagreeing with Emma’s plan though , and having a different plan, (which was what he lied about back in the escape arc) and in the next panels he drives this home further, even going as far as being intimidating:

As you can see from the comparison, he has done this to Ray before, and if you remember right afterwards he was ready to welcome him back into his trust and make him his spy. Norman was simply using the intimidation to make his boundaries absolutely clear.

This is where I stand, DO NOT CROSS

(or I will be angry for real and hurt)

But, if he was so distraught about Emma’s plan, what changed his mind? The last time he didn’t let Emma or Ray risk hurting themselves…

I think it is also part of his growth to finally realize…

How to treat and trust the people he LOVES

Norman feels conflicted and confused, so he looks to the other person he cares the most about. There is a silent communication between them that needs no words to be said outloud, since their connection is so deep. I will try to fill in the blanks though:

Norman: Ray… What do I do? Is it really okay to let the two of you go? What if you are hurt? What are the chances of you even succeeding?

Ray: Norman, TRUST US. Haven’t I kept Emma safe so far? I wouldn’t be doing this if I thought it was was impossible…

Norman: I… I… *hesitates*

I will trust and let you go because I love you.

But it hurts to let you go… it hurts to be left alone…

I think the real reason Norman doesn’t hug Emma back and distances himself from her is because he needs to be able to put up a front to hide that he is HURTING deep inside by making the mature choice to support the people he loves even if he disagrees with them… Norman decides that he can’t control or cage them up, that if they want to go despite knowing the risks, he must accept their choice. Even if he is left feeling all alone without them, unable to follow them or their ideals… ah, the distance isn’t just physical between them…

So Norman clenches his teeth, and while he is bleeding inside, he smiles at them and wishes them luck and prays desperately that they will be safe…

You can see that Emma and Ray is brimming with confidence, just like in the escape arc, they wear the exact same expressions. Yet Norman is unable to smile together with them the same way since he is breaking apart on the inside.

As soon as Emma and Ray leaves, his smiling facade falls down, and you can see just how devastated he is by letting them go on their own on this dangerous mission.

It’s a powerful callback to the time where he put up a brave front before.

There is no inner monologue this time, but his expression and slumped pose matches when he was previously afraid to die… this time though

he feels like dying thinking about the possibility of losing Emma and Ray forever…

(Note: he doesn’t actually look at the hand that failed to hold Emma, that’s his left hand and this is his right hand… the same hand he used to sign the contract with Giran… Is he also thinking about how he could die in his plans? Or is he upset because he knows he has some demon genes and if he wants to destroy all demons, he must destroy himself as well? Well, there is not enough evidence yet to confirm that theory, but it could fit too.)

TL;DR: Norman was able to let Emma go because he trusts Ray to keep her safe (and vice versa). He chose to support them and give them freedom to choose their own path because he loves them.

But watching them leave to risk their life and leave him behind in the process… alone, perhaps forever… kills him on the inside with worry and lonliness.

I hope you enjoyed my analysis of this amazing chapter, and if you agree about how much Norman really cares about both Emma and Ray, then feel free to signal boost until everyone gets the message! 😉

Check the notes for more additions to the analysis.