Brad Thought About Getting Guards For His Nipples But He Was Nearly Certain They Only Bled If You Were

Brad thought about getting guards for his nipples but he was nearly certain they only bled if you were running in a marathon. That whole notion was just downright freaky.

Well, he’d ask Chris later just to be sure. Right now his ass was looking really hot.

It was then Brad realized between his fine ass and mirrored sunglasses, the two shirtless boys that bladed by not two minutes ago prolly didn’t see him wink.

Hmmmm… well. Notated for next time. Certainly, another round will come. That’s when Chris tapped Brad on the shoulder scaring the Bejesus out of him. Yikes!

Well, the hot boys may have skated by, but at the end of the day, the possession was over. Chris and Brad were both thankful for that.

Buh-bye Bejesus.

Could he be a Daddy at 22? Brad did not know how age played into it.

Luckily, the spat between Brad and Chris ended when their neighbor Luke stepped in to announce the pool party he hosted was on Memorial Day. It was Labor Day, and no, they were not the same holiday. Juneteenth was also it’s own thing and indeed was new in an official capacity. It had been around for quite some time in reality so it was nice to finally see it recognized.

Luke then offered to stir up some taco dip if Brad and Chris wanted to stay.

Well, this was sufficiently awkward. This was by far Brad and Chris’ biggest infraction since the diagnosis debacle.

That’s a word correct? Debacle?

Anyway, how the h-e double hockey sticks were they going to get out of this one?

Maybe Chris would take another picture. (Click!)

The view was fine. More than fine actually. Brad and Chris would need to upgrade their hotel rooms more often.

About an hour later while all three laid in bed, their new friend, Chad would note the room key Brad and Chris had was for 909. They were in 606. How did they get inside?

Chris asked which time then notated the plant on the dresser was blinking. Brad said he had the same question and saw the little red light as well. At one point, he did think ‘reindeer’ and that now made sense. Such a thing never presented itself in the situation before.

Brad went on to say it would help if Chad was more specific as to this inside job. There was a lot of funky business going on in a relatively short period of time. Most of it was questionable. That was the fun.

Brad’s eyes went wide. He abruptly sat up and turned to Chad. “Streaming or recording?”

Chad flipped for a moment before realizing Brad and Chris didn’t care about being recorded. They cared to see it. Unfortunately, for them, he was streaming.

It was then and there Brad and Chris each got a text from their neighbor Luke. He happened to be on BBC and screenshot the whole thing. He would make a few quick gifs and shoot them over. To that, he couldn’t believe Chris’ hit the opposite wall.

Sure enough, it was true. All three were wondering where that pool of seaman landed. No one thought to look over AND up.

Luke said that made sense. When and where everyone and everything is going down it was understandable ‘up’ didn’t jump on the radar. The up part happened up front as it does.

True dat.

Chris paused for a moment.

No. He did not feel out of place at all wearing his own clothes. They were all standing inside a clothing retailer were they not? It would only be odd if he was wearing clothes he did not own outside of the dressing room.

Chris then reminded the sales clerk at the boutique on Rodeo Drive ‘Stranger Things’ already happened. They were still producing new episodes too so they could put the matter to rest. The old saying was now absolute truth and no longer opinion.

Chris then seemingly out of nowhere felt himself resisting an incredible urge to scream, “BIG, HUGE, BIG mistake!”

Brad would attribute the unrecognizable urge to intergenerational trauma at dinner that evening. After careful consideration and research via a rental on Netflix, Brad’s hypothesis certainly fit the bill.

Chris then wondered how it was Chris saw the flick ‘Pretty Woman’ in the first place. It screamed of straight people. To the other end, it did produce an unexpected explanation for Brad’s fear of polka dot dresses. Chris always did admire Brad for his integrity.

"A brief?!? That's funny. I thought gold only came in a thong or g-string."

It was right then and there in the middle of shooting the remake of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, sponsored by T-Mobile's 5G full coverage network, Brad realized technology and innovation could actually backfire.

“How could the ‘T’ not stand for thong?!”

Brad couldn’t believe the producers were being serious. It turns out they were.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) // dir. Jim Sharman

Brad got it at Ross.