Gay Fashion - Tumblr Posts
It took Chris twenty minutes to piece together his boyfriend Brad's knock knock joke. It clicked after their neighbor Luke pointed out Brad meant 'glad' not GLAAD.
Yes. Brad and Chris lived deep inside the heart of the gay bubble where the teeth were white and the butts were tight. Despite the demographic’s high gloss factor tho, ‘orange’ still didn’t rhyme with ‘range’ or ‘strange’ just as anywhere else.
While the disconnect in pronunciation ironically kept things real in the gay bubble, it only highlighted Brad and Chris’s estrangement from all. For Brad and Chris, oddball orange was right up there with the two pronunciations of ‘read.’ WTF was that about? It sure as H-E double hockey sticks was no accent.
Neither was any phonetic version of tear, bass, or close for that matter. Brad and Chris found the same spelling/different word factor especially confusing. Context was everything here, and in a world of information overload, it was seemingly more often than not the one thing missing.
Oy!
Well… That’s heteronyms for you.
What Chris really needed to know was if this orange number came in a thong.
A few minutes later he would find out it did. It would also turn out the pouch was too small. Should not sales clerks know thier regular customers size and product? The fashion gays were known world wide for being on top of things and this was clearly unprofessional.
Why no one at Gay! Gay! Gay! Underwerks told him about this stuff upfront would irk Chris for days. He finally chilled out when his boyfriend Brad suggested the guy who helped him with the thong might be a bottom. A lot of things happened behind the scenes there so it was impossible to ever really know exactly what might be going on with them. It was likely the mystery that made them so damn attractive so it was often best to just let things be what they were.
To the other end, Chris’ orange thong side cleavage would occupy the sales clerk’s smartphone for several weeks. No one gets ahead in retail without taking calculated risks, and this bet paid off big time in more ways than won. That store clerk is now the company’s top performing regional manager and about to launch his own line of underwear appropriately named X-S.
The news there is that he hasn’t decided yet if the dash will remain silent. Unsurprisingly, La-a already voted against any thread of silence. She was Becky’s friend from when she was a cheerleader in South Africa. It’s Brad and Chris’ guess the two may have been the only cheerleaders to ever exist there. You’ve seen Mean Girls right?
Well… There you go.
After a very intense twenty minute inspection with a record breaking 18 outcalls, Chris officially declared the beach a safe ‘no pants’ zone. You could definitely get service here.
What?!
This new AI selfie app just colored Chris’ stellar gym outfit pink.
How did it know?
AI was beginning to freak Chris out where he already was.
Maybe AI was gay. Could it be gay?
For a moment, Chris wondered if he could take the thought any further. First, he needed to order the same spandex threads in pink. This sh*t looked good onscreen and might just come in a gay shade of pank.
Hmmmmm…
Chris found himself hesitating. He would need AI to conduct a deep search and was already spooked by its spot on intuition.
‘It’ was the correct pronoun for AI wasn’t it? Given this pink episode just now it was feeling more like it could be her/she/hey girl hay or one of its many derivatives.
This was a quandary.
You know it was times like this Chris was thankful he didn’t have morals. The last thing he needed was a dilemma. Talk about inhumane!
Chris loved clear. It not only went with everything, it also never got in the way. This particular shade was indeed his favorite. Wonder Woman clear on the other hand was just too much for him. How someone could make the color clear aggressive sat beyond Chris' comprehension. His boyfriend Brad on the other hand, found it equally as incredible someone managed to make clear a color.
Brad didn’t know what color his boyfriend Chris’ swimmers were. The spread looked pretty good so Chris gave his best guess.
‘Ron Burgundy’ scored BIG time.
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With his own famed fashion label coming online, Gustavio was in it to win it. Handsome, charming, and built like a rock, the Euro heartthrob made making pie as easy as love.
Wait… something’s feels off here. Let’s just hope it’s his shirt. Oh.
The Labor Day gayborhood pot luck sat just around the corner and everyone rushed the sign up sheet the moment it was posted. Would Brad, Chris, and their neighbor Luke serve up their infamous three piece spicy Himbolaya?
Yes hunties! YES. They wood for all.
Brad was soooo not wearing a shirt. His boyfriend Chris must have gone and bumped his head. Could he not see? The sun wasn’t that blinding. It’s only really bad for your eyes during an eclipse anyway. Otherwise things ran normal. Right?
Just then Becky sauntered by blurting nice “Nice blouse Brad!”
That sure put Chris in his place.
Speaking to deep thoughts at the shallow end of the pool, Brad and Chris’ neighbor Luke found all this AI business sat somewhere between really smart plastic and super advanced AstroTurf.
TightGuys.
Brad further pleaded to his boyfriend.
“So what Chris? Sure it’s 72 degrees and sunny. Wasn’t this everyday in LA?”
After five seconds of silence Brad had it. Things were about to get real.
“Listen Chris. You can’t wear that jockstrap and think I’m not gonna want to stay inside.“
Turns out their neighbor Luke felt the same way. He let himself in through the back door after seeing Chris in the picture window under the assumption it was an open invitation.
According to Chris “it wasn’t but it was tho not entirely accidental nor really intentional either.”
Brad thought things read more happenstancial then questioned if that was even a word.
Luke said “it just was what it was, so that made it a ‘why not just go for it’ kind of a thing.”
They went for it.
Ahhhh…. Boys. They do change but only out of clothes to get laid.
Brad made lead shift captain after getting behind in his work.
The Swole Strip II
All of Chris’ friends were gay. Oh. So was his boyfriend Brad.
Life was good to Chris that way.
IG: @rainbow_guillotine
IG: @rainbow_guillotine
IG: @rainbow_guillotine
IG: @rainbow_guillotine
IG: @rainbow_guillotine
IG: @rainbow_guillotine