WHA?!

WHA?!

“Before u say anything Brad. Maybe it wasn’t comfortable visually or physically, but it’s where I sat down 2 check messages.

So what if our closet threw up on me. Maybe it’s that much skinnier. Why did anyone care anyway? I am the one going through this. No one else is wearing curtains or sitting on the side of the tub.

I mean I’m technically GORGEOUS & this STILL looks ugly. I thought that to be impossible myself.

So guess what Brad?!? Yes. Me. Chris Christianson was wrong. R u happy now?!”

Brad politely nodded and closed the door. “THAT was Chris’ last name?!? Hmmmm.” Well, Brad was not taking that in marriage.

Brad and Chris thought to show the pics to their neighbor Luke. Sure enough, yes he had a brother Darth Jr. Turns out the man is plain cool and understands he looks good.

In a random recall of the roof fiasco 2 days prior, Chris wondered if it was possible to lie while singing.

Brad was waisted @ the beach that day not to mention totally pissed. Chris kept snapping photos b4 Brad had a chance to clear the sacred crotch area.

Hello? The bulge IS the shot!!! UGGGHHHH!!!!

Brad finished his set that night with more tips than usual but still slightly ticked off people kept calling him the wrong name. B-R-A-D. Why was that so difficult to remember?!

Ok. It was official. The party was a bust. Chris was on his way back down 2 Brad still on the back patio 2 break the news:

1) No free drinks on the house, 2) the roof wasn't on fire, 3) nor was it made of tin OR rusted.

NONE of the claims true. WTF?! Who lies about THAT stuff? Whatever...

Just as Chris cleared the roof, disaster struck again. Chris’ package popped out of the $68 Andrew Christian Slim Swimmer Super Support Thong underneath his speedo. His bulge flooded outta control.

Oh great… U know, the LAST thing Chris needed was to give himself a black eye.