Every Day Is Hard, Just Being Awake, Alive, Aware. I Know What I Have To Do To Feel Better, To Feel Good

Every day is hard, just being awake, alive, aware. I know what I have to do to feel better, to feel good in my skin and feel like my life isn’t a waste. Knowing the solution and implementing it are two completely separate things though. That’s what I have the hardest time with. And while I sit around waiting for the motivation to do the healthy things that will bring me closer to stability, or at least a little further from this hopeless feeling and depression, I have to constantly list the people I’d be traumatizing if I took my own life. The impulse is there, daily, hourly, because it’s so overwhelming being an adult human, or just being in general. I can’t picture any future for myself, just this meager existence, so talking myself off the ledge is constant work. I never get to clock out.

I was healthy, working out, yoga daily, skincare routine, balanced diet, all for 3 months but I still wasn’t happy so now I’m depressed again and not sticking to any of those things that I know are good for me. It’s so hard living like everything is a phase and nothing fills the void.

I dunno if any of these pieces are actually me or if they’re just the personalities of the people around me or in a tv show or movie.

Not knowing who you truly are is one of the quiet killers of bpd. I always feel so broken and empty.

FLAME

Use this guide to remember how to carry out a task mindfully.

F - Focus and shift your attention to be mindful of the present moment.

L - Let go of distracting thoughts and judgments.

A - Use Radical Acceptance to remain nonjudgmental.

M - Use Wise Mind to make healthy decisions.

E - Do what is Effective to accomplish your goals.

*More DBT guides here*

speak now week day 5: create something that celebrates individuality and standing up for yourself.

and all you’re ever gonna be is mean

BPD is watching yourself destroy things, telling yourself you'll never do that again, and then doing it over and over again and the cycle continues for eternity.