Borderline Problems - Tumblr Posts
wow it’s like i was born to be betrayed by my most closest confidants. neato.
I feel so fucking disconnected from reality atp i don't know what to do anymore
i get so angry when someone finds out I have bpd and they all of the sudden are sexually attracted to me PLS MAKE IT LESS OBVIOUS YOU GET OFF TO THE CRAZY GIRL STEREOTYPE
wow I really hate myself
you know it’s getting bad again when it’s harder not to relapse, every little things annoys the shit out of you, you want to crawl out of your skin, the distractions don’t help anymore and not even your favorite special little treat makes your day better
Sometimes it is my fault sometimes I am a horrible person
Actually had this happen to me just today when I saw tony crynight's new video. I was excited that he posted at first, but then it just underestimated me, and I feel bad cause this has been happening for the past while and I feel like I'm fucking dying over it.
@tonycrynight I'm sorry about that btw.
Why do you have to disappoint me. Every. Fucking. Time.
i can't tell what true love or hate feels like. whenever i think i have an idea of how i feel, i look back later realizing that i was splitting again.
At some point it feels like I stopped being treated as human with mental illnesses and started being treated like an ordeal that you went through.
At some point it feels like I stopped being treated as human with mental illnesses and started being treated like an ordeal that you went through.
This but instead it's just the most random bullshit either that or my negative perception of relationships or myself lmao
I hate disassociating during class. I go from “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” to “I’m not real, none of this is real, we’re all dead somewhere or in a simulation.”
I need a big red circle and arrow around me that says “sensitive. will cry” like some sort of shitty clickbait YouTube video
I’m so tired of playing the back and forth game with my mental health. Every time I relapse and think, “okay, yeah, maybe THIS time, I’ll finally get it.” And that lasts for maybe 2 weeks if I’m lucky and then I watch myself just…stop. Stop getting up in the morning, forgot to eat for 3 days, oh shit I haven’t taken a shower either, stopped taking my meds at the right times and then just stopped all together, next thing I know I’m another suicide attempt back in the hospital. The worst part of it all is being SO self aware of it. I know I’m self destructing and I know that I don’t want to, except for some fucking reason I have to. This is going to kill me one day.
why is it too difficult to stop overthinking? i should try to let go and live in the present
i’m ready to kill myself i was kinda just hoping i could maybe have sex before i die tho
"just learn to tolerate things" if i hear that shit come out of your mouth one more time I am going to hit you with a brick, fuck you.
I hate whenever people tell me that I "struggle with tolerating things" or how I "get triggered whenever someone has an opinion that's not 100% like yours", because while it is objectively true, people forget that i canNOT control this shit.
I stopped tolerating shit because i had people constantly manipulate and exploit me to the point it basically killed my wellbeing, it's LITERALLY a trauma response.
And the black-and-white thinking is because, get this: IT'S A PART OF MY FUCKING DISORDER, ONE OF THE MAIN CRITERIA ACTUALLY.
Also, saying that I get all pissy at someone not 100% agreeing with an opinion i have is a bit of a stretch. I can tolerate someone not 100% agreeing with me, I'm not that close-minded, however, what i DON'T tolerate is someone being a genuine asshole about their opinion and/or actively attempting to trigger me on purpose. (*COUGH COUGH* The Tony Crynight sever Incident)
Seriously, people act like I don't constantly argue with people online..
Anyway, probably gonna show this blog to my therapist (because at least SHE knows how I fell and at least I can actually trust her..)