I Have No Idea Why Taking Steps To Heal Has To Be So Damn Hard.

I have no idea why taking steps to heal has to be so damn hard.

I have my group therapy intake tonight. I’m feeling sick.

Hey I just want to say I think you are good enough and deserve happiness and hope and safety from harm.

You are very sweet for taking the time to reach out to me. Thank you for the kind words; they mean more than you know.

On Tuesday I had an intake appointment for group therapy at my local women’s shelter.  I had a Personal Danger and Risk Assessment done. The score scale  is out of 30 and a score of 19 or higher categorized you as “In Extreme Danger/At Extremely High Risk”.

I scored a 27.

Whoever wrote this was well meaning. I get that. But now I have a definitive list of holyshitfuck things I am completely dropping the ball on.

How Often To Clean Your House from someeecards:

Sprinkles And Crafts: A Food, DIY And Lifestyle Blog.

I spent nearly my entire relationship dealing with this alone. And hiding my reality from everyone.

I reach out for help now, but it has not gotten easier for me to do so. Each message I send i regret instantly. Like I've given too much away. Or I'm bothering the recipient.

I don't really have any combative training experience, but it it strikes me as irresponsible to be grabbing your students by the throat in the first 15 minutes of your first class.

You're teaching self defense. To women. Does it not seem likely you'll have some trauma survivors?

Tried a self defense course tonight. Realized i am not ready to have people touch me.

Particularly not cishet white men. And particularly not around the throat.