Double Standards Series- Episode 2

Double Standards Series- Episode 2

If I was sick I had to sleep on the couch to protect his health and make sure I didn't keep him awake with coughing, etc.

If he was sick I had to sleep on the couch because what kind of woman would make her man sleep somewhere other than his bed when he was sick.

The flashbacks have eased some over the last 3.5 years. So last night startled me.

She and I are lying in bed winding down watching tiktok on my phone. She reached over me to take my phone out of my hand for some reason and her harm put a bit of pressure on my radius bone ( top of my forearm).

I shouted "Stop!" very intensely and very suddenly. My body went in full rigid alert mode, and she shrunk back like a wounded animal.

I thought about it for a second. He used to grab my arms there and squeeze. It was so painful and I felt so helpless. He'd also grab me there to shake me. There were always little finger shaped bruises on my forearms back then.

I apologised for the sharp response and I explained why it happened. She says she understands, but she blames herself for my reaction

How could she have known something so benign would have triggered a trauma response?

I feel terrible.

Sorry for the lack of content lately.

I'm burnt out and I'm barely managing to get my responsibilities complete in a timely manner.

I have some time off soon. I'll have some to say then.

More on him being disgusting

This adds more to the “shitty person who doesn’t care about other human beings especially those in positions he considers inferior” column.

He blew his nose into a FABRIC napkin at a restaurant.  AT THE TABLE. I was so mortified at the thought of our server having to open that up to throw into the laundry that I actually said something.

I told him it was gross, and he should be going to the bathroom to blow his nose INTO TISSUE.

He got so angry with me that he left me in a dramatic and humiliating fashion.. Conveniently I also got to to pick up the tab that he’d racked up. He messaged me about 30 minutes later telling me he was a block away and that he didn’t want to pull up in front to pick me up.

He was embarrassed and couldn’t go back there again because I had made him act so poorly.

I try not to throw people with other mental health issues under the bus, so I used my superb editing skills and changed the title a bit.

It’s so extraordinary otherwise.

I haven't slept much this week and it's affecting me: my mind is scattered, it's hard for me to remember things, stay focused and get things done. These are things that can be challenging for me on a good day, so in exhaustion I don't function well..

He kept me in this state for nearly two years.

How the fuck did I survive him?