Martyn: For Someone Who's 70% Water, You Don't Look Very Refreshing.

Martyn: For someone who's 70% water, you don't look very refreshing.

Ren: BUUUUUURN!

BigB: Water cannot be burned.

Ren: EVAPORATEEEEE!

Life Series/Hermits (+Skizz) Incorrect Quotes

Grian: Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them.

Grian: On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.

Impulse: Go on, give Skizz a compliment. Gem: How do you expect me to do that? Pearl: Just say something that you wish someone would say to you. Gem: Uhh… You are now unbanned from Free Ham Sandwich Day! Skizz, sobbing: Nobody’s ever said that to me before!

Scar: I said ‘No’ to drugs, but they wouldn’t listen.

Skizz: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Pearl: Killed without hesitation.

Bdubs: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Cleo: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Bdubs: I said within reason, Cleo. How about I murder that guy? Cleo: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Bdubs: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Cleo: Just be careful, Scar!

Scar: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Cleo!

Scar: It's everything around me that's careless.

Cleo: Scar and Bdubs just insisted Etho and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter.

Cleo: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

Sausage: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.

Sausage: Me too!

Pearl, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Sausage: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Joey: If it pleases the court I would like to say that my opponent is TALKING SHIT!

Shelby: …

Oli: And what do I get out of this?

Gem: I'll give you a dollar.

Oli: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!

Gem: How about two dollars?

Oli: You got yourself a deal.

Shelby, after the fifth jumpscare: Why are you like this??

Xornoth: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

Xornoth: I feel like doing something stupid.

Joey: I’m stupid, do me.

A lot of tissue paper.

More elaboration:

Etho is handed a poor quality kakashi costume.

Joel gets a scratchy wizard beard and shrek ears.

Pearl walks in with a hoodie, everyone is perfectly fine with this. When she goes red, she drenches herself in fake blood.

I also raise you: Mumbo has a poorly cut out paper handlebar moustache taped to his face. Halfway through the performance, it gets ripped off and he screams really loudly.

Scar's wizard robe has the texture of and sounds like a purple chip wrapper.

Autumnwhistles idea for a last life musical made me think about the costumes and the funniest ways to make the costumes as crappy as possible.

ex: Scott's halo is a bunch of glow sticks tapes to his head that he has to hide between scenes so they can't see him entering/exiting.

or: Cleo gets the absolute worst makeup job.

or: The Watchers are just the tech crew who put a mask on before being onstage.

All the budget goes to giving Ren the most elaborate outfit.