Martyn: For Someone Who's 70% Water, You Don't Look Very Refreshing.

Martyn: For someone who's 70% water, you don't look very refreshing.

Ren: BUUUUUURN!

BigB: Water cannot be burned.

Ren: EVAPORATEEEEE!

Impulse, confused and exasperated: Mumbo, how do you plan on telling a bear to go vegan?

Mumbo: Politely

Life Series Incorrect Quotes

Martyn: I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it. A slender majority of the panel decided in my favour.

Mumbo: So Lizzie, how did your first time cooking dinner go? Lizzie: Pretty good if I do say so myself. Mumbo: Oo! Okay, what are we having? Lizzie: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato. Mumbo: A whole potato? Lizzie: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches! Mumbo: These just look like big slabs of black. Lizzie: Because that's what they are! Lizzie: And then for desert, we have chocolate. Mumbo: These are just chocolate chips? Lizzie: They sure are! Lizzie: And then for drinks, we have toast! Lizzie: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite!

Skizz: *pulls back the curtain while Impulse is showering* Skizz: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

*The Squad is on a hike* Jimmy: It’s beautiful out here. Martyn: And quiet. Jimmy: Too quiet. Martyn: Did we lose someone? *cut to Pearl with a bear in a headlock*

BigB: I have seen a lot of murders in my time, and all six of them were today.

Ren: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry? Scott: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition.

Grian: I’m going to dunk on you. Ren: Bring a ladder.

Joel: You’re a horrible person! Scott: Maybe. But I’m rich and I’m pretty, so it doesn’t really matter.

Scar: Wow. I keep stepping on a lot of crunchy twigs. Cleo: Those are bones, Scar. Scar: *looks straight up* Not if I never look down.

Gem, Entering Cleo's room: Scar did it again. Cleo: Peace disturbance? Gem: What no- Cleo: Arson..? Gem: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY- Cleo: uh....Attempted murder? Gem: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

Scott: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?

Grian: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

Scott:

Grian: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.

Life Series/Hermits (+Skizz) Incorrect Quotes

Grian: Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them.

Grian: On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.

Impulse: Go on, give Skizz a compliment. Gem: How do you expect me to do that? Pearl: Just say something that you wish someone would say to you. Gem: Uhh… You are now unbanned from Free Ham Sandwich Day! Skizz, sobbing: Nobody’s ever said that to me before!

Scar: I said ‘No’ to drugs, but they wouldn’t listen.

Skizz: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Pearl: Killed without hesitation.

Bdubs: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Cleo: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Bdubs: I said within reason, Cleo. How about I murder that guy? Cleo: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Bdubs: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Sausage: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.

Sausage: Me too!

Pearl, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Sausage: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Joey: If it pleases the court I would like to say that my opponent is TALKING SHIT!

Shelby: …

Oli: And what do I get out of this?

Gem: I'll give you a dollar.

Oli: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!

Gem: How about two dollars?

Oli: You got yourself a deal.

Shelby, after the fifth jumpscare: Why are you like this??

Xornoth: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

Xornoth: I feel like doing something stupid.

Joey: I’m stupid, do me.