Life Series Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts

Life Series Incorrect Quotes

Ren: Isn't it a bit dangerous?

Joel: Ren, please. We've been in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt.

Ren: ...

Joel: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt.

Ren: ...

Joel: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves on the way home.

Skizz: Who's in charge here?

Martyn, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

Grian: Why is there blood everywhere?

Scar: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.

Grian: You stabbed someone?!

Scar: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

Grian: Remember, Jimmy, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Jimmy: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

Lizzie: I was put on this earth to do one thing.

Lizzie: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.

Bdubs: Thanks for not telling Etho what happened.

Mumbo, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.

Grian: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Scar: Mine just says "Scar no."

Grian: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Impulse, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.

Lizzie: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue?

BigB: Technically a mix of green and blue?

Lizzie: So blurple.

BigB: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple.

Lizzie: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE?

BigB: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

Scott: Let’s play 20 questions, you start.

Jimmy: What’s your favorite color?

Scott, laser fucking focused:  Triangle, do you like men?

Grian: Pros and cons of dating me.

Grian: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Grian: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Jimmy: Do you know that we are made out of atoms?

Jimmy: And atoms never touch each other.

Jimmy: So in my defense, officer. I did not punch this kid.

Cleo, to BigB: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Tango: Stop failing.

Skizz: Don’t tell me what to do! I'll fail right now!

Skizz: *Succeeds*

Skizz: Dang it!

Scar with a gun to Ren's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

Ren: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

Jimmy: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

Pearl: I am a responsible adult!

Gem: *raises brow*

Pearl: I am an adult.

Cleo: I love murder mysteries!

Martyn, trying to impress them: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.

Ren: Martyn and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.

Martyn: We what?

Bdubs: Hey, aren’t you Ren?

Ren: You a cop?

Bdubs: No.

Ren: Then yes, I am.

Ren: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Martyn meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

Ren, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.

Cleo: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?

Ren: I absolutely do not.

Lizzie: I am an expert at identifying birds.

Martyn: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?

Lizzie: Yep. They're all birds.

Cleo: Scar and Bdubs just insisted Etho and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter.

Cleo: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

Scar: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. Scar: That's why I own TEN guns. Scar: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.

Scott: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?

Grian: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

Scott:

Grian: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.

Impulse, confused and exasperated: Mumbo, how do you plan on telling a bear to go vegan?

Mumbo: Politely

Cleo: Just be careful, Scar!

Scar: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Cleo!

Scar: It's everything around me that's careless.

Martyn: For someone who's 70% water, you don't look very refreshing.

Ren: BUUUUUURN!

BigB: Water cannot be burned.

Ren: EVAPORATEEEEE!

Divorce Quartet Incorrect Quotes

Scott, throughout Double Life: I'm feeling it! What am I feeling? Death, probably.

Pearl: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Cleo: Are you mad?

Pearl: No.

Cleo: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Martyn: Can I ask a dumb question?

Cleo: Better than anyone I know.

Pearl: This date is boring!

Cleo: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Pearl: Then why did you invite me?

Cleo: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Cleo I'll do whatever I want!

Martyn: Pearl just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.

Skizz: Who's in charge here?

Martyn, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

Pearl, texting Scott: *sends a voice message*

Scott, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?

Pearl: No, don’t worry, just listen later.

*later*

Scott: *presses play*

Pearl's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

Life Series Incorrect Quotes

Bdubs: I wasn’t that drunk.

Impulse: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.

Bdubs: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

Scar: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

Bdubs: But we lost Etho.

Scar: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

Scar: BigB, I screwed up, big time.

BigB: Scar, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

Martyn: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my soulmate love me?

Grian: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.

Tango: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

BigB: Hi, who's this? Grian changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.

Bdubs: What's mine?

BigB: Gnome.

Bdubs: THEY'RE SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

BigB: Oh, hey Bdubs.

Bdubs: FUCK!

*Cleo is crying after Last Life betrayal*

Etho: There there, Cleo.

Cleo, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my base?

Etho: Great question—

Scar: What do we think of Martyn?

*pause*

Ren: *sighs* Nice pal.

Etho: I think they're gay.

Life Series/Hermits (+Skizz) Incorrect Quotes

Grian: Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them.

Grian: On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.

Impulse: Go on, give Skizz a compliment. Gem: How do you expect me to do that? Pearl: Just say something that you wish someone would say to you. Gem: Uhh… You are now unbanned from Free Ham Sandwich Day! Skizz, sobbing: Nobody’s ever said that to me before!

Scar: I said ‘No’ to drugs, but they wouldn’t listen.

Skizz: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Pearl: Killed without hesitation.

Bdubs: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Cleo: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Bdubs: I said within reason, Cleo. How about I murder that guy? Cleo: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Bdubs: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Life Series Incorrect Quotes

Martyn: I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it. A slender majority of the panel decided in my favour.

Mumbo: So Lizzie, how did your first time cooking dinner go? Lizzie: Pretty good if I do say so myself. Mumbo: Oo! Okay, what are we having? Lizzie: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato. Mumbo: A whole potato? Lizzie: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches! Mumbo: These just look like big slabs of black. Lizzie: Because that's what they are! Lizzie: And then for desert, we have chocolate. Mumbo: These are just chocolate chips? Lizzie: They sure are! Lizzie: And then for drinks, we have toast! Lizzie: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite!

Skizz: *pulls back the curtain while Impulse is showering* Skizz: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

*The Squad is on a hike* Jimmy: It’s beautiful out here. Martyn: And quiet. Jimmy: Too quiet. Martyn: Did we lose someone? *cut to Pearl with a bear in a headlock*

BigB: I have seen a lot of murders in my time, and all six of them were today.

Ren: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry? Scott: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition.

Grian: I’m going to dunk on you. Ren: Bring a ladder.

Joel: You’re a horrible person! Scott: Maybe. But I’m rich and I’m pretty, so it doesn’t really matter.

Scar: Wow. I keep stepping on a lot of crunchy twigs. Cleo: Those are bones, Scar. Scar: *looks straight up* Not if I never look down.

Gem, Entering Cleo's room: Scar did it again. Cleo: Peace disturbance? Gem: What no- Cleo: Arson..? Gem: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY- Cleo: uh....Attempted murder? Gem: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

Traffic Series Incorrect Quotes

Bdubs: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? Pearl: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Ren, on the phone: Oh, hey man! Sorry for accusing you of murder last week.

Ren: I was voted “friendliest classmate” in high school. Grian: I was voted “most likely to become a clown”… Bdubs: You think that’s bad? HA! I was voted “most likely to get rabies”!

Impulse: We have fun, don’t we, Mumbo? Mumbo: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

Cleo: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing. Martyn: But ya' didn't!

BigB: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that god is real.

Skizz: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something.  Impulse, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?