Incorrect Quotes Empires Smp - Tumblr Posts
Empires SMP Incorrect Quotes
Sausage: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.
Lizzie, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.
Pearl: I have a problem.
fWhip: If it's harder than 2+2, I can't help.
Shelby, about Joey: Katherine, they're an asshole! They have purposely stabbed you on more than one occasion!
Katherine: Some of those stabbings were accidental!
Shelby:
Joey: Okay, well, I know for a fact the third time was accidental.
Jimmy: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?
Jimmy: I must be losing it, I'm quoting fWhip.
fWhip: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Oli without them noticing?
Gem: Hey, Oli, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.
Oli: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.
fWhip: …
Joey: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!
False: And here we have a capitalist.
Shelby: Did you just-
Pix: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.
Lizzie: *speaking Mermish*
Joel: I know, I know.
Pix: You speak Mermish?
Joel: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Lizzie speaks.
Scott: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?
Joel: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.
Pearl: Yum, thanks!
Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.
Joel: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Jimmy: They do.
Katherine, visibly concerned: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?
Pix: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Joel: If you say "addict-ionary" I swear I will cut you.
Pix: I was actually going to say "high definition", but your answer is much better.
Joel: …
Katherine: Last night I found out Shelby is a sleep talker.
Oli: Oh, really?
Katherine: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.
Sausage: Do dragons fart fire?
Gem: I don't know.
Sausage: I thought you went to college.
Joel: I am strong! I beat Jimmy at arm wrestling!
Lizzie: Anyone can beat Jimmy at arm wrestling!
Jimmy: hEy-
Shelby: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can’t?
Sausage: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.
Sausage: Me too!
Pearl, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.
Sausage: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.
Joey: If it pleases the court I would like to say that my opponent is TALKING SHIT!
Shelby: …
Oli: And what do I get out of this?
Gem: I'll give you a dollar.
Oli: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!
Gem: How about two dollars?
Oli: You got yourself a deal.
Shelby, after the fifth jumpscare: Why are you like this??
Xornoth: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.
Xornoth: I feel like doing something stupid.
Joey: I’m stupid, do me.
Martyn: For someone who's 70% water, you don't look very refreshing.
Ren: BUUUUUURN!
BigB: Water cannot be burned.
Ren: EVAPORATEEEEE!