Sinking, SlippingWhy Do I Always Plop Right Down Into What Sucks Me Up And Absorbs Any Remnant Of Joy?My
Sinking, slipping Why do I always plop right down into what sucks me up and absorbs any remnant of joy? My bed is a monster, it eats me up every day It pulls me down like a magnet, I canβt resist it like iron canβt resist metal Iβm sick of it, hate it, wish I could burn it Never need it again But why do I choose it over everything every time? When Iβm driving Iβm flying But the whole time Iβm looking forward to the sweet, sweet relief of my bed I donβt need to try anymore, thereβs nothing I need to give Itβs a problem, a compulsion, an addiction I riddle my mind with tasks so the dependency is less important Who cares if youβre creating, if youβre producing? But I know itβs not normal to be horizontal more often than straight I need to toughen up, strengthen up, get a stronger back, thicker skin But I cozy up in my bed with the promise of another day Another time I try But itβs haunted, my bed My thoughts are never worse than when Iβm in its sheets Coaxed into my personal hell Iβm sick of it, sick of it forever It needs to be burned, exorcised From every nightmare, every ghost That plagues my thoughts and jeers at my passions I just want a reset. A point where I donβt have to feel. A place where I donβt have to exist. But it turns out not existing is painful and exhausting. I must keep existing, keep doing, all day, every day. I must keep moving. Faster and faster. I have to stay ahead.
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More Posts from Girlinwriting


James Baldwin.


Margaret Atwood // Friedrich Nietzsche
masculinity is the same thing that hurt me and that will protect me
it splintered off bone and itβs what will piece me back togetherΒ
itβs what tattered my envelope and what will hide me in the rain
because the wrong men hurt me, the wrong men cut me
but the right men heal me, the right men love me
the right men shelter me
like i never could
and i am safeΒ
in their arms

Ada LimΓ³n interviewed byΒ Lauren LeBlanc