Iamdefinitelyaperson - I Am Definitely A Person

Zephyrus: people who date a twin, how do you tell them apart?

Hyacinthus: it's easy – Artemis has a red manicure and Apollo has a dick

I understood how in mythology Theseus can have two fathers.

What if at first there were two dizygotic twins in his mother's womb - one from a mortal, the other from Poseidon. But in the early stages of pregnancy, they merged into one embryo, from which Theseus was formed. That's why he has three parents.

Imhotep: yeah but what if we take a mastaba and put another smaller mastaba on top of it, and another one on top, and so we have a stack of mastabas on top of each other

Djoser: how much coffee did you drink?

Imhotep: i can see time

Imhotep: also i haven't slept three days, help

Osiris in the Duat: It can't be that bad to be here. Think of the positives. Let's see...I've got no more human conflicts, no more Set...no more burning sun, no more Set, no more annoying gods, no more Set ...no more cycle of death, no more Set, no more worries about ecology, no more Set, no more Set, no more Set, no more Set! (sighs) I think I'm gonna like this place.

*the Mesektet crashes into the house, the wall collapses*

Set, holding the helm: Sup!

Horus, hangs on board: WHO THE FUCK LET HIM TO DRIVE!!!

Ra: Sorry :D

Different versions of the legend say that during the storming of Troy, Menelaus wanted to kill Helen, but she tore her clothes, exposing her breasts, and the murder attempt failed. Also, when Orestes came to kill Clytemnestra, she also undressed, telling how she fed him with these breasts.

Danger: *happens*

The daughters of Leda: LOOK AT MY BOOBS!!!