Luna: Deflate Your Ego John, You Are Not The Best Child. Pyro: Oh Yeah? Dads, Whos Your Favorite Child?

Luna: Deflate your ego John, you are not the best child. Pyro: Oh yeah? Dads, who’s your favorite child? Nate: Oh come one, parents don’t have a favorite- Peter and Scott: John

Nate: What?!

Pietro: He’s adopted.

Luna: So?

Scott: So we chose to have him as our child.

Pietro: You guys were obviously planned with surrogates, but we had to raise you. John was eight when we adopted him, so the hard part was over. 

Pyro: I knew it! Thanks, Dad, Ocko!

So... Did the guy that hit on Rachel live?

He lived because he was lucky enough that Pietro was there. If Pietro and Jean hadn’t both been there to hold Jubilee back, he would be dead. 

Rachel: *Gets hit on by guy* Jean: Jubes? Jubilee: ...Gonna fuck him up Jean: Jubes, you can’t- Jubilee: GONNA FUCK HIM UP

Pietro was also needed to restrain Jubilee. She’s basically a tiny, Chinese, pansexual ball of rage.

Scott: Wait a minute . . .

Peter: What?

Scott: Are you a silver fox?!

Peter: Scott, I’m thirty five.

Scott: You’re a hot man with silver hair who’s older than me.

Peter: Holy shit, am I a silver fox?

Scott: Yeah.

Peter: WAIT, DO I ALSO COUNT AS YOUR SUGAR DADDY?!?!?

Scott: OH MY GOD!

Peter: I KNOW!!

Scott: I’M DATING A RICH OLDER MAN WITH SILVER HAIR. WHAT THE FUCK?!?

I’m just wondering what Peter’s family said when they learned he was dating Scott

Marya: She had known Peter had feelings for Scott since the first time she had seen them interacting. She is the best mother in law a person could ask for.  Erik: He was okay with it, he won the bet on Peter dating a himbo. Erik and Charles gave the shovel talk together, he had knives floating in the background.  Charles: He likes Scott, he thinks he is a very responsible young man. The only thing he doesn’t like about it is that he bet Peter would date a fellow twink and he had to teach Scott how to not project his thoughts. That man projected his love for Peter constantly. David: David is the muscle in the shovel talk that Peter’s siblings gave Scott. He isn’t around much, so he just cares that Scott takes care of Peter.  Lorna: Lorna my not be around much, but she’s the older sibling that is super overprotective. Lorna led the sibling’s shovel talk with Wanda. Wanda: Wanda thought the two were dating for years before they told her. She thinks that they’re cute together, but Peter’s her twin, so she made sure Scott knew exactly how they’d dismember and hide his body if he hurts Peter. Jean: She’s best friends with Scott, so she listened to years of his pining rants about Peter. Because of this, Jean is very glad when they got together. She sat them both down at the same time and said she would murder both of them if they hurt each other. Nina: She met them after they’ve gotten together, so she doesn’t really care. 

Jubilee: You know me. I’m always horny for crepes!

Scott: Do you mean excited?

Jean: She really doesn’t.