Jumin: I Cant Decide Which Idea I Like Better. The Thought That You Need Me So Desperately You Could

jumin: “I can’t decide which idea I like better. the thought that you need me so desperately you could never leave, or the hope that you never needed me at all and chose of your own volition to stay because you wanted me.”

this quote brought to you be dream jumin who visited me last night said this and then promptly bought the mall i worked at so he could renovate it into really weird apartments. thanks jumin that was a weird trip.

i didn’t know i needed this until i read it. thank you!

Can I request for some headcanons about the RFA when MC has a nightmare about them? Like, in the dream RFA said they cared nothing about MC or the relationship anymore and just left after saying some very hurtful things. The whole dream felt so real. MC wakes up crying and apologizing to them. They also cling to RFA very tight for the rest of the night, feeling insecure. How would the group respond? Thank you. Wishing you well!

I'm sorry it took so long!

RFA + V Reacting to MC Having a Nightmare

Masterlist1 Masterlist2

Zen

Zen didn't care about you

There isn't much more to say than that

"I need to focus on my career, I can't have a girlfriend."

He left in in the rain, no way home

You knew you had to call someone

But you hurt so bad

So you stood, crying in the rain

It was hard to tell which were tears and which were raindrops

Either way, he left not even looking back

You woke up, crying

Zen woke up hearing you

I'm so sorry you sobbed

Zen shushed you and pulled you close

I'm so sorry for holding you back in your career

He pulled away to see your face

"You haven't held me back, jagiya. I would choose you over my career any day."

That made you feel worse and you buried your face in his neck

He held you close all night

Telling you how much you mean to him

Yoosung

"I only loved you cause I thought you were like Rika, but I was wrong."

Wait! Please!

"Leave, please."

And you did, not because you wanted to but because you thought if you did he'd come back eventually

He never did

He wouldn't join chatrooms if you were there

He never called

If you called, he'd ignore it

You woke up, heart hurting

"MC?"

You look over and see a half asleep Yoosung

I'm sorry…

"It's okay."

No… I'm sorry… I know I'm not Rika. I know that you want her back. I know I'll never be her.

"MC, what are you talking about?"

"Yes, I miss Rika, but I love you."

He holds his arms out, inviting you to cuddle with him

"Come here, I'll always be right here for you."

Jaehee

Movie night? Zen DvDs.

Guess who I talked to today? Zen.

Zen. Zen. Zen.

You finally confronted her.

"I can't help that I love Zen. Why can't you understand how important he is to me?"

More important than me?

"Of course! You've met him."

She'd never say that… yet she just did.

You woke up and sniffed

You got up and Jaehee woke up

"MC? Where are you going?"

You sniff again and try to leave, but Jaehee grabs your wrist

"Are you okay?"

When you don't answer, she pulls you to sit back on the bed

I'm sorry… I know Zen means a lot to you… I just thought maybe I meant more…

"You do mean more, MC. I'm not with Zen, am I?"

She pulls you into her and holds you close

"Zen is just a friend, you are my best friend, lover, and partner."

Jumin

He was cold

Like before you met

When you spoke up about how you felt, you wish you'd let it be

"You just want me for my money, like every other woman."

No! That's not true!

"Leave, now."

Jumin, wait!

Bodyguards forced you to leave the penthouse

Driver Kim took you back to the apartment

It felt emptier than normal

Jumin went back to being cold in the chatrooms

He only called or even acknowledged you when he had something to say about the party

You finally called him

"Miss MC."

Jumin. I-I um…

"Is this about a guest or the party?"

No.

"Please do not waste my time."

He hung up.

You wake up, scaring Elizabeth

You feel tears on your cheeks

"MC?"

Jumin was coming back from the bathroom, the light illuminating your face

"Darling? What's wrong?"

He turned the light off and came to you

Jumin brushed tears off your cheeks

I'm sorry...

"What are you sorry for? You've done nothing wrong."

I'm sorry for everything… I shouldn't have come here, I don't just want you for your money… I want all of you

"MC, there was never a doubt as to what you wanted from me. That's why I made you my wife."

He laid next you and held you close

"I love you. I don't doubt that you feel the same."

Seven

"Leave me alone."

Seven, you need food.

"MC, what have I told you? Leave me alone. I don't love you."

It felt like you'd been shot in the heart

It hurt so much

You don't mean that

"Did I stutter?"

You quickly left so he couldn't see you cry

You wake up and hear the familiar sound of a keyboard

You hear a meow and talking

Seven comes in

"MC? Are you okay?"

I'm sorry!

He laughs

"What for?"

For pushing you and bothering you all the time and for not staying away when you told me to

"MC, that was a year ago. I'm so over that phase."

Seven sits next to you "I'm not going anywhere."

He pulls you close and lets you cry it out

"If it weren't for your pestering, I'd probably starve to death."

V

He didn't love you

He was still in love with her

You could see it in his eyes

Yet you hoped you were wrong

Jihyun, you don't have to stay with me. I know you still love her. "

It's that obvious? I still love her, I want to be by her side."

It hurt to hear it

But you had already known it was true

"Thank you for letting me be with her."

You woke up, the image of them together still in your mind

You hear the bedroom door open and V walks in

"Sorry, I just had to clean up a little."

I'm so sorry…

"What?"

He turned to look at you, tears running down your face

He was next to you in an instant

"MC, what happened? Are you hurt?"

No… I'm sorry for making you feel like you have to stay with me…

"Make me stay? I'm staying with you because I want to."

"If I were to go on a trip and you asked me to stay, begging with your beautiful eyes. I'd probably stay."

He laughed

You glare at him

"You're serious?"

You nod

"I never loved her… It was an obssession. I love you and you alone."

He pulls you into his lap and rocks you side to side.

"You are my moon."

Yoosung soft boi head cannons

these thoughts have no home so they have been collected here. also im typing with only my left hand because my cat jojo is sleeping in my lap with my right arm as a pillow. today is a happy day.

master list 

Has the second fluffiest hair in the RFA

o   He would have the fluffiest hair if he used better shampoo and conditioner

o   Give him jumin’s hair products and bask in the glory om the pomf

o   your absolute favorite thing to do is towel dry Yoosung’s hair its floofy and messy and cute as hell (it will melt your heart; it might kill you)

o   Plus, it embarrasses him just a bit and he turns red and pouty and looks at you from under the towel and now you can’t help it you must kiss the pout

He thinks toe socks are a sin

o   It’s a debate okay because you (read as me personally) think they are amazing

o   It’s the warmth of socks and the freedom of no socks!

o   It’s weird and isolates your toes from their toe brothers! family matters MC!

o   For Christmas you buy him several pair of LOLOL toe socks and he is torn

o   Until you both discover extra fuzzy socks

o   The gap is bridges the verdict in. fuzzy socks are the best

o   Warm and soft, and both of you can slip and slide around the floor

He has a soft spot for your eskimo kisses

o   Nothing feel more like love to him than when you give him half asleep eskimo kisses first thing in the morning

o   Or giggly hugs topped with happy go lucky eskimo kisses

o   He just thinks you’re so and eskimo kisses still give him butterflies

o   It’s so innocent and cute. He thinks it suits you perfectly.

His guild mates didn’t believe he had a girlfriend at first

o   Of course he talked about you! you where his literal favorite subject to talk about

o   And he had been gathering supplies for you to start learning LOLOL on your next gaming date

o   But no one ever believed him they just teased him and at first he didn’t mind but as time went on it really got to him

o   Then when you came over one day you mentioned wanting to watch him play just a bit (since you were a little nervous about learning to play)

o   He agreed to show you eagerly so excited to show you how cool he was in game

o   But during the game he mentioned to the guys that they should lay off the swearing since his girlfriend was listening so obviously his guild mates had to roast him

o   It only took a minute or two of listening to the guy’s trash talk before you steal his headset and begin your tirade

o   You tear each and every one of them a new one, you are honestly probably a little harsher than was necessary

o   There is radio silence before you notice Yoosung has already closed the game

o   Your blushing because you knew you overreacted but they had said some legitimately hurtful things!

o   Then you notice the way Yoosung is looking at you. his face is blood red and his eyes are hungry.

o   It is in this moment you learn he has a thing for you being angry.

o   And it is in this moment that his guild labels you scary AF

Hey! So... When I started to play Mystic messenger I was a teenager, so I was wondering how the boys and Jaehee would react discovering that MC was a teenager too (platonic of course) I loved your headcanons btw ♥️

gah its been forever and a day since i was a kid. and even then i was like really bad at being a kid heh what do teenagers do? all i did was hide in the library and avoid socializing oops. whatever i had a lot of fun writing this! honestly i think they would all be very protective of you since the RFA really feels like one big family!

Jumin

He is proud of you and wants to provide you with future opportunities because that’s how he cares about people, by giving them a means to earn money and have purpose. Also he is very interested in what you can teach him about pop culture.  

-        Age doesn’t matter to him too much. Maturity does and you had proven your maturity by helping the RFA faithfully and well

-        In fact, he is very proud of how well you did and mentions that your professionalism at such a young age shows great potential should you apply to C&R (you know him well enough to take it for the compliment it is intended to be)

-        His presence practically drips with “proud dad preparing for his daughter’s future” vibes and considering the 11-year age gap you suppose you couldn’t ask for much better

-        That is until he hears you chatting on the phone and using slang he’s never heard before

-        Now he’s curious and asking questions. You show him some him some vines you have saved and teach him a bit about pop culture leading to an unlikely but very fun friendship

-        You and he tease zen a lot by having Jumin use made up slang and you pretending its super cool and zen’s just not with it. Also imagine getting Jumin to do a secret handshake just to piss Zen off. It ends with the “nyah” pose

Yoosung

Acts like your best friend that you enjoy teasing. He wants to be a good role model but that shiz is hard. You two bond a lot over stories about school and the struggles of exams.

-        He is very relieved to not be the youngest anymore because now maybe everyone will stop treating him like a baby. (spoiler alert they won’t. Ever.)

-        He worries that he’s supposed to act like a big brother. He doesn’t know how to do that! He’s always been the baby brother, or the youngest member, or the newest intern. How does one be responsible?

-        Tries and fails to intimidate guys away from you to “protect” you (but zen said it was his duty to keep you safe! He said all men are wolves MC!)

-        “If all men are wolves why isn’t he worried about you Yoosung?” “huh? Hey wait yeah! Does he not think I’m a man?!” “ go get em tiger. give zen a piece of your mind”

-        He helps you with homework a lot but no cheating! He tells you about the time he cheated to pass a class only to get to the next level class and understand NOTHING it took a lot of tutoring and studying and work to fix that mess. Best to learn it now while it’s still learnable.

-        He refuses to teach you LOL “don’t end up like me MC! Be better!” you learn it anyway and end up playing with him frequently. The rest of the RFA blame him for this much to his dismay.

Saeyoung

he wants to protect you in his own frankly silly way. still meme’s it up but doesnt want anyone “corrupting” you. actually he kind of treats you the way he would treat saeran.

-        He fights with V for the first time when V suggests leaving you in Rika’s apartment (with a bomb) but reluctantly comes around and does what V says

-        Stays a meme lord and is psyched if you can manage to out meme him

-        Definitely teases you about your age a lot (Yoosung is secretly glad to not be the ONLY one getting teased for being young)

-        “guys we have to protect the baby she has her whole life ahead of her”

-        Is the most adamant about not swearing, drinking or smoking around you

-        “y’all need Jesus there are CHILDREN here”

-        You may have to call him out on this behavior because seriously wtf you know for a fact hacking isn’t the most ethical or legal occupation and he’s gonna lecture you?!?

-        He may joke around but he up’s his protection game up about 10 notches because for real you have your whole life ahead of you

Zen

he basically adopts you okay. he wants to be your cool big brother friend and be everything his family never was for him. he takes care of you and stands up for you every chance he can.

-        He finds out very early on because the second he starts flirting seven shuts that shit down telling him your too young for that. He asks how young and is shocked but recovers pretty fast

-        You know the protective big brother trope? Yeah that’s him

-        He’s your ride or die friend too. Need a ride to school? He’s there on his bike, some dick is harassing you? He’s there to scare the punk off, and even though he doesn’t want to fight a kid he will if he has too

-        If its girls who are harassing, you he picks you up to give your rep a bit of a boost (it never hurts to be seen with such a handsome guy after all and if he shows up on his bike he’s also got the badass vibe going on)

-        He has ALWAYS wanted a little sister and now he’s adopted you. You’re his little sis now and he’s wrapped around your finger. He swears he’ll be a better brother than his brother was

-        He is so proud of all your accomplishments and is determined to encourage your dreams the way his parents never did (he might be living his family wishes vicariously through you but hey he treats you good so it’s cool)

Jaehee

-        She’s a bit worried about you taking on such a big responsibility as the RFA guest liaison at such a young age. What if your grads drop? Or you family gets upset? What if you had to also work a part time job and this interfered your young you need to be able to rest and live your life. (when you point out that she should do the same she brushes you off)

-        Not much changes honestly, she’s always been the RFA’s mom after all.

-        She gets a little stricter about language and “inappropriate” topics

-        She definitely encourages you to study and do well in school (and avoid any job’s Mr. Han offers you)

-        She still down to be your friend though! She’s all ears when you need to vent about school and you are always ready to lend an ear back when Jumin is giving you a hard time

-        You swap girl power ballads and she helps you set up a Zen fan club at your high school

Saeran

-        Look he didn’t intend to kidnap and actual kid and he’s honestly a bit panicked when he finds out your age you looked older than that he swears

-        Thankfully your mature enough and smart enough to do what’s needed of you and he supposes as long as you don’t have a family searching for you it should be okay

Ray

-        He’s a little more reserved but honestly not much changes he’s still innocent and devoted he calls you princess and tries to spoil you as much as he can he may not see you as a romantic interest but your still his obsession.

-        He likes that you trusted him even more since your young and therefor more vulnerable. You’re his family now, a better family than he’s ever had.

-        If you are the princess, he is your knight in the strictest definition. Which is to say he is devoted to protecting and serving you out of dedication and reverence rather than romance.

Unknown

-        He’s more verbally aggressive than physically aggressive

-        He doesn’t try as hard to seem intimidating because he thinks of you as a child, and he doesn’t have to prove how tough he is to a child it’s obvious after all.

-        Also his visits are simultaneously shorter and more frequent. Shorter because he tends to get flashbacks easier (since he sees you as a child despite you being a teen) and more frequent because they are less satisfying since he doesn’t let himself be physically aggressive.

Vanderwood

(IDK why but I feel like he probably had an actual family with a girlfriend/wife and possibly a very very young daughter before the agency. Maybe she left him and that’s why he’s so impressed by MC’s dedication in the secret ending. Or maybe they’re both dead because broken hearts make more money than whole ones. Either way I think a teen MC would remind him of his possible family and so he would be hell bent on separating you from the danger and drama of literally everything that happens in the game.)

-        He’s legitimately (and rightfully) concerned about you when he see’s you on seven’s CCTV feed

-        protective and angry dad mode activated

-        threatens to tazer seven into oblivion if he lets something (or causes something to) happen to you

-        “what the hell are you doing she’s a civilian AND she’s got her whole life before her, you and I might have thrown away our lives but she didn’t! whatever’s going on you had better fix it NOW”

-        He is not speaking with you. No way no how. Every word he says to you puts you more in danger and he is not having your life on his conscious

-        That being said the second you’re in danger he is all in on ANNIHILATING whatever has put you in danger

can’t write right now cuz i’m like about to walk into work but guys you know what the world needs?

classic black and white noir romance with MC being a classy jazz singer at jumins favorite caberte wine bar he falls for her voice and begins to send her flowers after every show until she approaches him to tell him he can’t buy her talent since she’s heard how opposed to romance he is and her father owns the club she’s not going to sing anywhere else

i quite literally go to work in 20 minutes but listen imagine the banter between self possessed confidant mc and jumin when she thinks he’s all buisness but the second he tells her he would like to take her on a date shes shocked like what no that wasn’t the plan huh what. and jumin smirks because this woman that was only a moment ago been so strong and sassy is now a confused and blushing mess

she agrees to think about it and tells him she’ll have his answer after tomorrow’s show. time jump she says yes but only if they keep it on the bone low she wants her family’s buisness to thrive without being associated with C&R because she believes in skill not playing the press. jumin has never met a woman who was adamant about secrecy and low profile dates it’s perfect

guys i need this

retrouvailles (part 1)

Jumin Han x MC fanfic (1391 words)

part 2 out now

over all summary: MC is the Singer at her Family’s wine bar called “retrouvailles”. Jumin Han corporate heir has fallen for her voice and decided to pursue a relationship with the Jazz and swing singer despite his usual distaste for romance. they face the challenges of press interference and hearsay, as they explore the waters of new romance.

chapter summary: Jumin Han has taken the first step in courting the lovely Jazz singer at his favorite hole in the wall wine bar,  “retrouvailles”. when MC seems less than thrilled Jumin doubles down on his efforts and seeks the reason for her apparent distaste. 

MC’s song presentation: PMJ’s cover of Feel Good Inc.

authors note: this is my first attempt at a multipart fic so if you like it leave me a comment or something so I know I’m doing okay! I got this idea on my way to work a couple days ago and couldn't get it out of my brain and I listen to PMJ jazz and swing covers WAY TOO OFTEN. I hope you all enjoy it!

Jumin Han swirled the dark port in his glass absently as he watched the singer on stage. MC Kang, as she was introduced before every show, wore a gold cocktail dress that complemented her skin tone perfectly. Her auburn hair covered one of her eyes to give her a more mysterious air tonight as she sang her newest swing composition. This was a piece Jumin hadn’t heard before though he had come here often, for the express purpose of hearing her sing.

He did not own the “retrouvailles” bar and it was not for lack of trying. How many times had he offered to buy the place for ten times its estimated value and still been turned down? Some part of him respected the owner for his resolute dedication to his family business, the larger part of him found the man irrationality and poor financial sense to be infuriating. Still every Thursday Jumin Han would slip away from the press and body guards to spend an evening sipping wine and listening to this woman sing. Her voice was a dark honeyed indulgence in his life, one he was somewhat embarrassed to admit he was becoming more and more reliant upon. With every passing week his resolve grew stronger and last week he had made his decision. He could not allow her to remain a simple voice that haunted his dreams as she had been recently, so he had decided to speak with her.

Last week he had taken the first step in his plan. He had ordered a dozen of the city’s finest roses to be delivered precisely when her show would end, with only his name by way of explanation. Her reaction surprised him however. she glanced his way and frowned slightly before she promptly turned away to retreat to the bar’s back room leaving the roses to be picked up by the pianist apologetically. He had not even had the chance to approach her let alone explain the meaning behind his gift. Rejection left a bitter taste in his mouth and he had to admit his distaste for it. Yet it was this distaste exactly that had spurred him forward, sending her a different bouquet nightly since. No notes adorned the subsequent bouquets as he had no doubt she was clever enough to put two and two together.

So it happened that he was here once again watching the stage lights dim as she stepped of the stage speaking jovially with the pianist, her brother and the one who was to inherit the bar when their father passed, if Jaehee’s research was to be trusted. Her brother nodded toward Jumin and her face darkened a bit before she turned to walk towards him.

“you know Mr. Han I’ve heard of you little club opening down town. I hope you know you can’t buy my talent; I don’t intend to sing anywhere else.” Her eye’s where stern, all business as she cut to what she thought must have been the heart of the matter. He understood now why she had been so critical. She saw him as competition, understandable considering his position at C&R. he was relieved to know she had not spurned him out of personal feelings. He stood from his seat setting his glass to the side to adjust one of the cuffs of his suit as he spoke.

“buying your talent was never my intention, and you may call me Jumin if you’d like.” Her expression didn’t shift as he had hoped it would. She didn’t sigh in relief that her family bar was safe from C&R acquisition for the time being or let curiosity light in her eyes as he had hoped instead he could feel the skepticism roll off her as she placed one hand on her hip.

“then what pray tell was, Mr. Han?” she asked emphasizing his name to show she had no intention of changing how she addressed him. “men don’t send flowers so diligently unless they want something. So what is it that you want?”. It was clear she was in business mode, cold and factual seeking the other parties’ motives to gain the upper hand in a negotiation. She was good he had to admit, the way she presented herself confidently as an impassive and immovable force was far different from the woman he had done business with before. He suspected she had hardened herself especially for this conversation, prepared herself for whatever offer or manipulation he may try.

“consider it a courtship gift” with that he saw her resolve falter and he smirked. He had caught her off guard and caused business mask to slip if only a bit. this game of cat and mouse was fun but he never was one to beat around the bush.

“I don’t appreciate the joke Mr. Han it seems rather tasteless considering you position.”

“it wasn’t a joke. I’ve enjoyed your performances immensely and I’d like to,” he paused for only a second to consider his phrasing “get to know you, if you’d be interested of course.” His voice was steady from years of trained control and he knew it betrayed none of the nervousness he felt. He had never been in this position before. He had never needed to ask for a woman’s time before, never had to fight for her approval. He was used to woman vying for his attention sure but MC seemed almost wary of it. As though he may be using her and not the other way around as he was so used to.

“I, excuse me?” her mask broke and he could see the confusion and nervousness in her eyes suddenly. On her part she had indeed planned for what she thought was every possible contingency. She had read every article she could find on him and they all pointed to one thing. Jumin Han was not a romantic. He had never been in a relationship that wasn’t later proven to be little more than rumor and circumstance. He was a loner, never needing anyone. So of course when she began receiving the daily flowers she had assumed a business proposition was on its way. She could never have imagined courtship as he so formally put it.  She composed herself as best she could after such a complete upheaval or her expectations and made a concerted effort to keep her voice steady “I had never considered that possibility” she took another moment to breath removing her hand from its place on her hip to take a more demur posture. “to my knowledge you have never been a, shall we say, romantic. I assumed the flowers were sent to persuade me away from my families’ bar, honestly I had meant to tell you that it would take more than a few pretty petals to break apart my family. Oh I suppose I’m rambling; may I consider your offer? We can speak after tomorrows show if you’d like.”

She prayed he would agree. She needed time to regain the upper hand if she could, to consider the way this could affect “retrouvailles” and her family as a whole. She certainly didn’t want the bar to fail because of a misstep with a man who was essentially both their competition and the most financially powerful man in the country. Yet on the other hand she wasn’t sure she wanted to succeed because of some trite dalliance either. Dating always had its complications but she could tell already that a relationship with the Mr. Jumin Han would be on another level of difficulty all together.

“of course miss. Kang.” He said an easy smile on his face despite the swell of disappointment he felt. This was not rejection he had to remind himself. Not yet.

“MC, if you don’t mind. Miss Kang sound to formal for my liking, especially if we,” he could see something in her eye’s a spark of possibility before she caught herself. “never mind. I suppose I will see you tomorrow then?” she asked tilting her head slightly and causing her hair to cover one of her eyes yet again. A shield to hide herself from him.

“yes, MC” he agreed warmly. he watched her sly stage grin return as she began to turn away before pausing to look back at him.  

“well goodnight then, Jumin”