My Dream

My dream

Teacher: What do you want to be in the future?

Friend: A doctor

Friend: An astronaut

Friend: To end world hunger

Me: Dead

Teacher: ....

Everyone: ....

Me: ...preferably anytime soon

let’s talk about a ptsd thing that’s called sense of foreshortened future. i don’t see anyone ever talking about it here and i think that it’s important that people know that what they experience is nothing but another symptom of their mental illness.

So what is it?

Basically, sense of foreshortened future is a feeling or a belief that for some reason you won’t have a long and fullfilling life. You feel like you will die soon – or sooner than expected – and therefore you shouldn’t make any long-term plans. You try to avoid long-term relationships, you don’t have any career plans, reaching your birthday - hell, sometimes even managing to surivive the week surprises you. 

You feel like you’ll never have a normal life because you’re not only broken beyond repair but also can’t trust anyone anymore. It is an incredibly depressing feeling that makes you feel like there’s no point in… anything, really? Every activity becomes dull and pointless and you don’t know what drags you though life at this point.

I know it won;t make the feeling go away but I want you to know that this feeling is NOT a reflection of reality. You’re not broken beyond repair and you will have a normal happy life if you work on your recovery. making plans is not pointless. You deserve to be happy and you will be happy. Don’t let PTSD and its symptoms convince you otherwise.

Some Must Watch Yoongi Performance Fancams

In no particular order (Long post warning)

1. 160315 KBS Open Concert Recording: Dope by ARIS 

WHY? Silver Haired Yoongi + Tongue Technology 

2. 151231 Gayo Daejejun: I Need U + Run by It’s Your Day

WHY? Mint Yoongi + Piano + Sleeveless Run

3. 160604 BTS Smart Campaign: Fire by It’s Your Day

WHY? That outfit + Lip bites + Eye Contact

4. 151106 Hope Concert: I Need U by It’s Your Day

WHY? Blonde Yoongi + Iconic look

5.  160723 HYYH in Beijing: Tomorrow by It’s Your Day

WHY? Sweaty blonde Dance God Yoongi

6. 160907 2018 PyeongChang Winter Olympics Concert: FIRE by MeToo

WHY? Cute, fluffy, extra brown haired Yoongi

7.   150920 All Force One: Cypher 2 & 3 by Real Recognize Real

WHY? Because All Force One was a blessing

8.  151229 SAF: Run by Pop! Suga

WHY? Mint haired iconic look

9.  161027 M Countdown in Jeju: Blood Sweat & Tears by M2

WHY? That look! The day the Jeju winds blessed us!

10.  Wings Tour Japan Edition 2017: First Love - TBS

WHY? Close-up First Love shots

Shingeki no Utattemita [ 1 2 3 4 ]

Why my kids will not go to school.

Today In drama class my friends, teacher and I were talking about kids and how many we wanted and what we wanted to name then. I then told my teacher that I was not going to put my kids in school. My friend asked “do you plan on homeschooling them and I replied back with “no” this continued to confuse my friends but my teacher nodded and asked me what I meant by saying that my kids were not going to go to school so I explained to them what I meant. 

I told them that there were way to many things to explore and discover out in the world then be stuck in a classroom for six hours learning things that they will forget after a booklet of papers stapled together to determine their fate at the end of the term was written on and passed in never to be seen again. 

I told them that my children were going to travel the world and learn things that they would never read sitting at a desk or hear listening to a teacher talk at the front of a classroom for an hour. 

My friend then asked “Well what about reading and writing?” 

I told her that yes I would obviously teach them how to read and write and count money and add and subtract and how to tell time. 

They will learn their directions by reading a compass and navigating by the stars that they have looked up at every night and not just said “Oh those are pretty.” They will call them by their names and know what star burns the brightest of them all. They will learn to count money not only in Canadian coins but in other currencies also. How many times have we been taught that in math class?

They will be taught to write about their adventures they take and the people they meet and they will learn to read books about the wilderness and they will read about the different cultures before we stop at our destinations. 

“They won’t have any friends!” One of my friends exclaimed.

Yes, they will…

They will have more friends than any of the kids at school can count because they will have friends all around the world. 

“They won’t get to see them!” 

Just because you don’t see your friends doesn’t mean you don’t have them. 

“Well what about the government?” 

What about them?

“It’s the law that your children have to go to school.” 

They are learning, they are learning more than they will ever learn cooped up in a classroom of 30 kids with one teacher who is barley able to keep everyone quiet let alone be able to have one on one time with their students. 

“What if people tell you your a bad parent?” 

there will always be people judging people in the world. While they sit there judging me their kids are sitting in a classroom for six hours, 7 days a week. 10 months a year for 12 years…

I will be spending time traveling and teaching my kids the true meaning of living.

Happiness. 

My friend just asked me why I’m not afraid to risked my life because I earlier I just ran across the road to get some old lady’s vase that was about to be hit by a car (which I learned later that it’s her late husband’s treasure).

So how do I explain that I’m ready to die at any time? How do I explain that I already write a letter for my friends and family? How do I explain that I’m just too afraid to end my life myself?