Messed Up - Tumblr Posts
I was trying to just trying to make a rectangle
how did this happen lmao????
I bought a lipstick today. He got angry when I spent money on things that weren’t “essential”, so I felt naughty.
Reality has set in: How messed up is it that a $6.00 lipstick is a victory?
Dear lil bro and sis
I know you probably, no, definitely find this gross. But deal with it, you shitheads.
My world, my sunshine, my one and only source of happiness. You two are the one I care, love, and hate the most.
I don’t want to see you sad. I would rather kill myself than see you two sad. I will gladly throw away anything to protect you.
I may not be a good older sister to you. You must have hate me. I always hit you, and you would hit me back. Asked you to do stuff, and we argued about the simplest things, saying rude things to each others. And many many other bad things I did to you and you did to me. I made you cry multiple times. This is stupid. But that’s what made us close. By hating each others guts. Maybe that’s just how we showed our affection? I don’t know.
Multiple times in the past, I pushed you away and shut the whole world out. Yet, you’re still there for me. You reached out for me. Even if you didn’t realize it yourself. But you did. I can be my real self when I’m with you. You two are the only people I trust so much that I could show you the real me. Not my depressed self though. You two are the one who know me the best. And you accept me for being me.
You two are my savior, you know? Do you know why I didn’t start cutting or self harm even though I really wanted to? It’s because I don’t want you to see the scars, you were still so small that time, I just couldn’t let you see how hard it is to live. Do you know why I never tried killing myself until now? I didn’t want to cause you trouble and I don’t want you to see how cruel the world is. You were too pure and I can’t taint you. Well no actually, you’re already gross since young so I can’t let you get any worse than that.
I hate how much I love you. More than myself. More than anything in the world. Even more than you love yourselves. You two are the proof that god still care for me. For me who find no meaning in life. You are my shitty, annoying, gutsy fucking angels.
I’ve forgotten how many prayers I sent to god everyday for your well being. Every night, after you both went to sleep, I would always cover you with warmer blanket and correct your pillows. I still remember how I couldn’t help but peck your cheeks and ruffle your hair. I remember how every night when I couldn’t sleep I would stare at your peaceful sleeping forms. I feel like a creep. I swear to god, this is so disgusting I wanted to die. But it calms me. I really miss those times.
Do you still remember what happened on my 17th birthday? Mom and Dad were gone like always, I don’t remember whether it was work or something else tho (not like I hated them for it, hey, they work to pay our expenses, I completely understand, I hold no grudge against them, like, they’re my parents, of course I love them), and every single member of our family and close relatives were away at that time (again, I don’t hate them for it, I love all of my family). The three of us were left at home. To be honest, I didn’t really cared about my birthday, like the year before everyone forgot about it, so being alone that day wasn’t much of a problem. Sure everyone called but it’s enough proof that I still matter to them, so that’s enough. I honestly couldn’t care less about the matter. But then you forced me to go out to play with you two and our next door relatives. It was nothing really special. We played games, everyone threw baby powder at me, and ate some fried tofu. It wasn’t anything special. But seeing how you tried hard so that I won’t feel lonely on my birthday, as much as I tried to deny it, I know I have the best siblings in the world. And I won’t ever trade you for anything and everything in the world. I miss you. So much it hurts.
And if you two are reading this, it’s either because I’m already dead or I’ve become so stupid to ever let you accidentally see this blog. But if you ever read this, know that this is how I truly feel. And it will never change. Even if you hate me, I will always love you two. No matter how I always act towards you, I don’t hate you two as much as I said I did. I can’t show you any proof of that. But I truly care for you two.
Believe in yourselves. Like how I believe in you two. Don’t listen to the mean things people say to you. Don’t believe the mean things people say about you. Don’t let others hurt you physically and mentally. Don’t let other people’s words ruined you. Because only I am allowed to do that to you.
If you ever feel sad, remember that in the past I’ve made you cry for things worse than now. If you ever feel angry, remember that we’ve learned how to let our anger out together in many ways, mostly the hard way tho. If you ever feel any form of self hate, remember that it’s my job to hate you, so you don’t need to do it yourselves because I’ve already done that with all my heart. If you ever feel hopeless, remember that you two were the one who showed me hope. If you ever feel lonely, remember that you can always come to me and we’ll argue until you forget your loneliness. If you ever feel like you’re a disappointment, remember that whatever you do, whatever you have become, I couldn’t be more proud of you, I mean, if one of you become the king of the world, then I’ll be the person who made the king bow down to me. If you ever want to disappear or die, remember that if you two’re gone, I wouldn’t have anymore reason to exist. If you two ever feel unwanted, remember that you two means the world to me, nothing else matters. If you ever feel life is hard, lay down for a bit, close your eyes and remember that I believe in you, you will make it until the end, you’re strong, stronger than you ever thought, you’ve even beated me in some of our fights. If you ever feel bad about your looks, remember that you two are the most disgusting, hideous, but perfect creature god sent me, and beat the shit out of everyone who says that, we look alike man, if you’re ugly then I’m ugly. And if you ever feel like nobody cares, remember that wherever I am and whatever I’ve become (be it ghost or corpse or maybe successful person), I still care for you, there’s not a single second where I didn’t think of you (okay, that’s not always true, but you get the point), I care for you two.
Don’t ever be like me. I couldn’t make our parents proud. I couldn’t make you two happy. I couldn’t do anything right. But you two can. Make our parents proud. I believe you can. I know you will. You two are better than me. Better than anyone I’ve ever known.
Thank you. For always being there for me. For bringing happiness, and most of all, shits into my life. For teaching me that affection could be shown in many ways, mostly punches tho. For being my only reason to exist. Even if you didn’t realize it, you saved my world. So please be happy. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m grateful for having siblings like you two. Thank you for being born. I love you.
I'm a burden for my parents I'm the bad example for my siblings I'm a disappointment for my family I'm the ugly one in friendships I'm the stupid one in school I'm the lazy one in collage I'm the useless in work I'm the failure in life
2.50 am
Someone: I hate you
Me: No one hates me more than myself
My friend just asked me why I’m not afraid to risked my life because I earlier I just ran across the road to get some old lady’s vase that was about to be hit by a car (which I learned later that it’s her late husband’s treasure).
So how do I explain that I’m ready to die at any time? How do I explain that I already write a letter for my friends and family? How do I explain that I’m just too afraid to end my life myself?
My dream
Teacher: What do you want to be in the future?
Friend: A doctor
Friend: An astronaut
Friend: To end world hunger
Me: Dead
Teacher: ....
Everyone: ....
Me: ...preferably anytime soon
"walker and leah look like hazel and will!!"
dystopia
please report and block @/cowee
they’re plagiarising both mine and @fukashiin’s works. i came across their blog bc i saw them in my notifs and thought their blog was cute and decided to check them out only to find them plagiarising other ppl’s works. reblogs are greatly appreciated! i apologise for putting this in the main tags but i need this post to reach out as far as it can zzz
Is it just me or have you ever read a fic so disturbing and fucked up that you gen cant stop thinking of it and are wonder why someone would even think about writing that like guys you have a choice you dont have to post that fic😃
Like i tolerate a lot and have read some fucked up shit but this one left me sick to my stomach
I'm numb and messed up, with raving madness of terror in my soul..
Emily Yvonne, fragments of my mind
Messed up and not doing a thing about it...
Please make this go viral.
It is so important I don’t even care if you delete what I write here, just help it be seen.
So I messed up royally trying to color her. Then after disliking the color I said “Nope” and colored her black. Liking how it looked I accidentally started using a brown and i actually like the affect it had on certain spots of black! Though I messed this up it was a lot of fun to draw
Spread this like a damn wildfire. 17 Year old Christopher Roupe was gunned down by a police officer while answering his front door while holding a Nintendo Wii remote.
"At around 7:30 PM, young Christopher took out his Nintendo Wii controller to put on a movie.
As he was sitting down, he suddenly heard knocking on the front door.
He asked, “Who is it?” but received no response.
At that point he got up from his chair and opened the door.
To his shock, the female cop already had her gun drawn and pointed at him, according to reports.
She immediately fired a bullet into the boy’s chest and killed him, according to Renee Vance, the boy’s aunt.
The police claim that “he had a handgun.”
It was actually the boy’s small Nintendo Wii controller, says the aunt.
The officer gave him “no warning” to drop the controller before taking his life, the aunt added.
The police claimed to be at his house regarding a “probation” matter. It turns out that it had nothing to do with Christopher.
His 13-yr-old little sister heard the gun shot and ran over to the door to find her brother bleeding and crying.
The little sister held her brother and tried to comfort him as he cried in pain, according to reports.
That’s when the female cop pointed her gun at the child and said “Shut up!” according to reports, forcing the girl away.
Moments later Christopher bled to death.
Both the female officer and the officer who was with her have received “paid administrative leave” as the investigation proceeds.”
- [Link 1] - [Link 2] - Police are already trying cover up this incident with bullshit lies. Don’t let this just get swept under the rug. A Wii remote in no way resembles a handgun. This is absolutely ridiculous and disgusting
Small detail in Shadow house manga that I can't believe I missed
(spoilers)
Anyone who's read the Manga of Shadow's house knows that Anthony (AKA Christopher) killed off Maggie and Margaret and we all saw how he did it specifically with Maggie he slit her throat
Well in order to make it clear that Louise and Lou's unification failed, he used a fake body in order to make it look like they lost control and died however there's a small detail on the body that should have pointed me to the fact that this body was someone we've seen before
Despite the fact that the hair was curly just like Lou's hair it looked very similar to Lou, pay close attention to the zoom in shot of the living doll and you'll notice this doll has a cut on her neck
(Here's where the spoilers come in):
Anyone who's read the most recent chapters knows that Anthony has already admitted to using Maggie's body as the fake Lou's body in order to make it look like their unification was a failure, however that cut on the body was the smoking gun that should have made me realize that sooner after all he slit Maggie's throat and where else what he had gotten a fake body from even if he had made it why would they bring so much attention to that small detail
Because as the manga reveals it's not crafted body but rather a body of an actual child who died meaning that we all should have noticed this but it was such a small detail that we all overlooked it until it's revealed
I say the creator of shadows house is incredibly sneaky I like that
Tell me did any of you guys notice this before the reveal
So uh women couldn’t get bank accounts without a man until the 1960’s but banks could still discriminate against them until 1974. Hopefully Marie had a separate bank account already before she was kicked out but considering she was 18 it was probably still attached to her dad’s account. Cuz like holy shit that girl would need to work.
Man if I was Henry I’d feel indebted to her too
Man maybe she was so revenge-focused because she never had time to process what happened and grieve properly and just let the trauma fester. She had to provide for her kid, find them a home, make sure he’s taken care of, etc.