I Did It.

I did it.

I finally got a Genshin account.

Update: So this was a TIME. I got a new hyperfixation! I learned about HI3! I developed another mental illness! I speedran the entire nation of Liyue in under three hours! Inazuma took 3 days because I lost motivation to exist in the middle but it's fiiiiiiiiine. I have now completed every available archon quest. I pulled Neuvillette. I may have summoned a demon to do it but it's still fiiiiiiiiine.

'I'm a guard stationed at a secret government prison' spoiler

Kael, upon seeing Hugo with his shirt off: DO YOU NEED A DOG? I CAN BARK!

Hugo, getting fucking murdered less than four hours later:

Because Genshin doesn't have enough representation, here's what Diluc is like in my AU.

Homosexual

Twink.

His hair is still red, but it has a streak of white from using the Delusion

He's still banned from Snezhnaya XD

Dark, slightly golden toned skin

He is beauty he is grace he will claymore you in the face

More than a touch of the 'tism (mood)

His hands have gone pitch black from using the delusion (think Eclipsa in SVTFOE)

There are some cracks on his chest from using the delusion (Like Pink Pearl from SU)

Crippling depression, anxiety and PTSD

A fucking dragon (less important but still there)

Transmasc (Yass king slay)

Whore (Childe, Zhongli, Thoma, Ayato, Albedo, Baizhu, Itto, the list goes on)

Low-key fashion icon

Any adult who looks at him is suddenly both horny and scared

My headcanon for how the Wizards/Maia are ranked is that they go by age. The first to arrive (Glorfindel, gold) is the strongest, second (Saruman, white) is next, third (Gandalf, grey) comes after that, then Radagast (brown), then the blues.

So I can just imagine...

Elrond: GLORFINDEL I SWEAR TO GOD-

Gandalf: Please, Elrond, he's FUMING, and he's my boss.

Elrond: He's WHAT

Alternatively

Saruman: *is evil*

Glorfindel: You're fired.

Saruman: What?

Legolas: You heard him, you're fired!

Nymphadora Tonks: Mom, Dad, I'm getting a tax evasion marriage with Remus Lupin.

Ted Tonks: *Hysterical laughter*

Andromeda Tonks: *Equally hysterical laughter*

Nymphadora Tonks: Why are you laughing?

Ted: I- *Laughs too hard to keep talking*

Andromeda: *Still laughing* When we were in our seventh year and Remus was in his third- *pauses to laugh*

Ted: *Also still laughing* He finally got a bit tired of the 'Anything for our Moony' joke

Andromeda: So I said it again, and he responded-

Ted: "Your firstborn", if I recall correctly.

Andromeda: We love a man who keeps his promises

Lucius Malfoy, looking at Ted Tonks: It sickens me.

...

...

...

I want it.

Andromeda: NO.

(The husbands of the Black sisters are weirdly gay with each other. Actually, normally gay for Lucy, and semi-normally gay for Ted, but Rodolphus is straight)