Dangerous, B-side

Dangerous, B-side

Listening to the same song repeatedly can give you different outputs, but this was my initial draft to Dangerous.

I still wanted to share this since I like the tension between Essie and Jaehyun here, so I hope you enjoy this one.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 2nd person

Word count: 1,040 words (Wow, it's longer than what I've been writing lately lol)

Additional notes: Like with the previous post, I'll be linking some writing that connects to this one.

Warning: Suggestive themes ahead!

---

You knew it would be dangerous to be near Jeong Jaehyun.

You knew the power he held – he was one of the most handsome men you’ve met, and you knew you could give in to anything he asked you to do.

At first, you didn’t really mind him. You were focused on turning down the flirtatious attempts of his best friend, Johnny Suh, who decided to let you know how memorable you were to him when he saw you in Starbucks.

But when you and Johnny decided to become friends, Jaehyun was the first person in his circle of friends that you got to know better.

He was the perfect gentleman, and you appreciated that. You thought he would be a cocky bastard who would use his handsome privileges.

As you got to know more of Johnny’s friends, you didn’t get to hang around Jaehyun that much. But when you did, you started to feel weird around him. Were his looks and gestures getting to you?

You were conflicted since you were also starting to develop feelings for Johnny, despite the not-so-ideal start of your friendship.

You never thought you would feel like this again – falling for two people at the same time. It was bad, but in the end, it was your choice on who you wanted to get together with.

One of the most unforgettable moments you had with Jaehyun was when he kissed you at a party. Your ex was one of the attendees, and you asked him to hide you. He misheard you and pecked you on the lips.

You couldn’t remember what happened after – were you too drunk to recall if you two have already done it? You shut your eyes, trying to recall as much as you could. No, your body didn’t ache when you got home, and you had a good night’s rest.

As you watched Jaehyun grill meat with Taeyong, you couldn’t help but think if you ended up with him instead.

You had shared interests – you loved vinyl records, and you loved drinking wine. You liked his music selection better than Johnny’s, and he was very chill to talk to. He seemed such a calm person who would perfectly complement your feisty personality.

“Penny for your thoughts, Essie?” He asked, flashing you his trademark dimpled smile. “Oh, it’s nothing,” you mumbled, looking away to recover from the embarrassment you felt at looking at him for too long.

“Hey baby, can you help me with this?” You heard Johnny ask from across the room, and you crossed over to where he was. You were thankful he asked you for help because you needed to distract yourself from such tempting thoughts.

You had dinner with Johnny and his friends in your apartment since it’s been a while since all of them got together. Almost everyone had solo projects, and most of them got back to the country recently.

“If someone deserves a solo, it’s you,” Johnny said to Jaehyun, pointing his chopsticks for emphasis.

“Yeah, we agree,” Taeyong and Doyoung chimed in. Everyone else in the room nodded in approval, even you.

Oh, the thought of Jaehyun singing sexy R’n’B songs excited you so much that you felt the familiar wetness on your underwear.

You cursed yourself at this thought and decided to eat more kimchi to forget that sensation.

“Thanks, guys. Maybe soon, I’ll get that project,” Jaehyun said, ears red with embarrassment. Since he was sitting beside you, you were tempted to stroke his red ear and feel how hot it was.

“I’m sure you will; we just have to wait,” you squeaked, slowly looking up from the bowl you have been focusing your attention on.

“Aw, thanks. That means a lot to me, Essie,” his voice was so soft that you thought you were the only one who heard it. Maybe it was really meant for you.

When you looked up from your bowl, he gave you a heartwarming smile. You smiled back, and he touched your wrist. “I look forward to your support, dear,” he whispered.

You could only nod at his response, your body heating up from his touch. You looked away again to see if anyone was observing your interaction but saw that everyone else was involved in their conversations.

It was as if the world stopped, and only you and Jaehyun were having this intimate conversation.

“You keep on looking away from me tonight; is there something on my face that you don’t want to tell me?”

You didn’t expect his words, and when you looked back at him, he tightened the grip on your wrist.

“No, there isn’t anything wrong with your face, Jay! What makes you think there is?” You were beyond flustered, and you could feel your breathing become ragged.

“You aren’t usually like this when we talk,” he loosened his grip now, “and I like it better when the people I talk to can look at me directly on the face.”

You sat up straight and stared at his face. You saw the bags on his under eyes becoming darker and the pimple patches around his nose. When he smiled, you saw there was one more pimple patch underneath his lip.

“Well, fine. You look stressed. I believe you don’t get pimples, yet here you are, wearing pimple patches to a dinner.” You deadpanned, pointing at the patches around his face.

He laughed at your words and swatted your hand away. “It’s normal to have pimples, but I never thought I’d start breaking out now.”

“Don’t be too stressed. You know it’s bad for the health,” you said before going back to eating. “You should take your advice too, honey,” Jaehyun chuckled and mimicked what you were doing.

You rolled your eyes as he also reached for the plate of meat you were holding. “Yeah, you don’t have to remind me of that. Now please, can I have some meat?”

“Jaehyun! Are you teasing Essie?” You heard Johnny comment, probably because he saw how irked you were. Jaehyun let go of the plate of meat and watched you take it for yourself.

No one answered Johnny’s question, and the night continued with everyone catching up on their endeavors.

---

FIN

P.S. That was a lame-ass ending, but my mind stopped working after that. I had to get the tension out of the way hehe.

He.

Before I disappear again for a while, it's about time Burnout got some update.

I feel so crushed I won't be able to watch my boys this weekend to the point I might forget all my feelings for them. Yeah, I'm a dramatic bitch.

Maybe I need a break from them and other things in life. But for now, enjoy this Jaehyun-centered piece.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 2nd person

Word count: 2,290 approx.

Additional notes: Italics are Y/N's thoughts.

---

Maybe it’s time to fall in love again. 

It has been what, two or three years? You couldn’t remember exactly how long your last (and probably greatest) relationship was. It felt like an eternity ago. 

You felt you changed so much, but at the same time you also felt like the same old person. Did that make sense to anyone?  

As Mark Lee pushed you toward his bandmates, you couldn’t help but feel both annoyed and nervous. He was adamant that you meet his crew since you’ll be hanging around them more often, but he kept slapping your back like an excited seal. You tried your best not to wince at his slaps and keep smiling for the sake of not leaving a bad first impression. 

The main point of Mark wanting you to meet his bandmates was for you to be in a relationship again. He knew his friends were good-looking – he is too, but he won’t admit that straight out – and maybe you’ll want to stay in this place longer. 

“Mark, that’s enough. She’ll have a sore back with what you’re doing,” a black-haired guy with a baritone voice said, and when you looked at him, you felt more nervous than annoyed. 

He was handsome. You knew your eyes would be on him all night. Your heart fluttered when he smiled at you, and you bowed your head in response. 

“Sorry about that. You know how I am when I’m excited,” Mark giggled, before he tilted you to face his friends. “Hey guys, this is Y/N. She’s my childhood best friend, and we reconnected last year when she moved here.” 

You waved and introduced yourself, and everyone seemed delighted to meet you. Mark’s bandmates consisted of Hendery, their drummer and standup comic in the making, Jeno, their bassist and veterinarian, and Jaehyun, that guy whose looks have already captivated you. 

He shares guitar duties with Mark, but he also serves as the main vocalist of the group. He works in marketing, which isn’t far from the industry you were in. Mark used to work in the same team as him, but your best friend quit when he realized he wanted to focus on his music and other artistic pursuits. 

“Y/N. That’s a beautiful name,” Jaehyun said, smiling at you again. Your eyes focused on his dimples and how his eyes almost turned into crescents. 

“Thank you, Jaehyun. Yours too,” you mumbled, looking at the floor to hide how flustered you were. 

“Call me Jay instead.” When you looked back at him, he held his hand out for you to shake. You took it, and he gripped your hand tightly. “I look forward to getting to know you more.”

///

“Is he really like that, dude?” You asked Mark when you watched Jaehyun converse with a couple of girls after their performance. 

“What do you mean?” Your best friend raised an eyebrow at you, not sure what you were getting at. 

“Does he flirt with every female in the planet?” Your eyes were drawn again to the girls who were giggling at whatever he said, and he was smiling all throughout.

“He’s very friendly, I must say…” Mark also observed the scene across him. “But you know that friendliness can be misunderstood as flirting. Especially to the ladies. Which you are telling me right now.”

You slapped his arm in response. “I was just curious! It seems like every girl would fall in love with him in an instant.” 

“Are you jealous that you’re not the one he’s talking to?” You didn’t expect the guy beside you to be that frank. He was usually the one that kept the conversation going in circles. 

You slapped his arm again. “Bold of you to assume that, Mark Lee.” 

“Well, I did see how you looked at him though! So, will he be the one who’s going to make you fall in love again?” Your best friend nudged you repeatedly and made silly hooting sounds. 

You pinched his sides this time. “Why are you so hung up on me having a relationship with someone? You know that I’m not looking for anyone right now.” 

Mark’s answer stuck with you: “Because you deserve it. You deserve to be loved. Your heart deserves to be healed from its trauma, and aside from yourself, maybe someone else can teach you how to love again.” 

You let the chatter inside the bar drown the thoughts you didn’t want to think about now. 

///

You were getting along with Mark’s band mates just fine. No one made a move at you, and you were hoping your best friend didn’t tell them about his plan for you. 

All of them were gorgeous, but there was something about Jaehyun that your eyes kept gravitating to. You liked to observe him in your mind: his ears turn red when he is shy or embarrassed, he has pronounced canines, and he has a deep, hearty laugh that Mark liked to copy. 

You weren’t in love yet. Maybe you have a silly, harmless crush on him now. He hasn’t done anything to you that will top the things your ex has done for you. 

Speaking of the devil, your mind wondered about that asshole briefly. Where could he be right now? 

“Hey daydreamer,” an angel whispered next to you, and next thing you know a bottle of beer was placed on your hands by Jaehyun. “Care to share your thoughts?”

“Oh. Sorry, I was out of it,” you chuckled, readjusting the bottle about to slip from your hand, “I tend to do that often when I’m left alone. I’m sure most of us do that?” 

“Here, let me help you,” he took the beer bottle from your hands and placed one of his hands over yours. Your mind noted his hand felt warm. It made your insides feel warm as well. The hand on top of yours adjusted your fingers to hold the cold bottle, and you can now hold your beverage properly. 

You whispered your thanks, and he smiled in return. “And you already know what I drink!” You checked the bottle again in your hands to see that it was your usual lager. 

“I might not look like it, but I’m observant,” Jaehyun toasted his bottle with yours before you two drank in unison. “It’s been a few weeks since we got acquainted, and I noticed that you always order that.” 

“Great catch then,” you giggled, taking another swig of your beer. He was now seated beside you as you watched other bands perform in the bar. You didn’t have a moment like this yet, and you were a bit afraid of what might happen next. 

“Isn’t that you?” You heard him say, but when you asked him to repeat what he said, he just laughed. “Forget it. I was making a joke.” 

He might be flirting with you, but you might also be overthinking what he said. The night is still young, and there are still many things that could happen. 

///

That fateful evening, as your mind liked to call it, was the start of your blossoming friendship with Jaehyun. 

After he handed you that beer and sat beside you while watching bands in the bar, it has become a part of his routine to do so. He would talk to you about anything and everything when the show was over. 

“There are other girls you could sit with. I won’t mind,” you told him after finishing your second bottle of beer. You eyed the girls in a nearby table who weren’t shy looking at your seatmate. 

“I’m not interested, and I feel comfortable here. These are nice seats to watch the bands, you know?” He gestured to the stage, where a man was playing a saxophone. 

“That’s fair,” you grabbed another beer bottle from the bucket in the middle of the table, “and darn it if I don’t get good seats to watch the bands.” 

You beamed at him for your minor accomplishment, which he returned by squeezing your hand. This was unexpected. You shook your head to clear your head from assumptive thoughts. 

“Are you okay?” He squeezed your hand again. You nodded, trying to relax from his grip. “We can get out of here if you don’t feel well.” 

You might be hearing things, or you might be misunderstanding them again. Why are you so opposed to liking someone else? The rational part of your mind questioned, which you ignored. 

“I’m fine, Jay. No need to worry about me,” you smiled, hoping that reassured him. “Can you let go of my hand now?”

But when he didn’t respond and stared at your face intently, you gulped. Maybe your thoughts were headed in the right direction, only you stopped them from forming inside your mind. You can’t fall in love just yet. 

“What if I don’t want to?” 

You swore his voice became deeper. You could only stare at your hand in his grasp. He tightened his hold before letting go and running his fingers over yours. 

“What do you want from me?” 

Your voice sounded small and afraid, which was opposite to your intentions. Being the observant person he is, he sensed that you were uncomfortable. He took his hand off yours hesitantly and placed it on his lap. 

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with that. It’s just…” he scratched behind his neck, a sign of nervousness, “I like you. There, I said it.”

His ears were red with his sudden confession, and you felt your cheeks have turned in the same hue. This was too good to be true, right? 

“I like being around you. I enjoy our conversations after the shows, and I learn a lot from you,” he continued when you didn’t say anything, “And I hope we can continue that not just here, but elsewhere.”

The rest of the world has become blurred to you except Jaehyun. You watched him tell you more about what he liked about you at this point, and the way he shyly looked up at you made you feel fuzzy inside. 

Go for it. Let him in. Maybe it’s time to fall in love again. 

The rational part of your mind – are you sure it’s the rational side? – told you, and it felt like it was déjà vu. You’ve heard that line somewhere already. 

You took a deep breath, hoping that moment helped collect your thoughts. You faced him confidently, saying: “I like you too, Jay. I would want to go beyond what we’re having now.” 

\\\

Have you found love again for real this time? 

You asked yourself this while embracing Jaehyun.

You were still in disbelief that things between the two of you flowed wonderfully. You agreed to see each other exclusively, and before you knew it, it had been more than six months since you got together. 

You buried your head on the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. You always felt comforted with his presence, and you couldn’t imagine life without him now. 

You had a hard day at work, and when you went home to the apartment you shared, you searched for him immediately. 

He was in your bedroom, listening to one of your favorite LPs while he scrolled through his phone. But when he saw how distressed you were, he stood up to engulf you in a hug. 

It had been a couple of minutes since you embraced, and none of you wanted to pull apart. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He asked, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine. God, his voice was something you couldn’t imagine not hearing. 

“Work,” you croaked, tightening your hold on him. “Will it make you feel better if you tell me about it?” He carried you to the bed and placed you gently beside him. 

Was it all too fast? Are you sure you’re in love? 

Your mind bothered you again with another silly question. You were enjoying the warmth from Jaehyun’s body as both of you cuddled on the bed. 

It was another horrible day at work, and he listened to your woes. He held you in his arms as you whined and cried. 

Deep inside, you felt horrible. Things are going to become a terrible routine for you two if you keep doing this. He can’t always solve everything. 

You shook your head at your thoughts and noticed that his sleeve was damp. Crap, you cried again. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” His voice was gentle even though he was worried. You looked up to see sincerity etched on his face. You cried even more, feeling like a mess that could not get fixed. 

You should be happy that you’re with someone again. He might be The One, you know?

Another voice in your head made itself known, and it sounded chipper. You wiped your tears on the back of your hand to look at your boyfriend. 

Many girls would kill to be in your position. You had already written a novel on all his great qualities in the recesses of your mind. But maybe, it will help if you could re-read that to remind yourself you were a damn lucky bitch. 

“I’m sorry I keep on crying, Jay…” you mumbled, burying your face into his shoulder. “Maybe I’m about to have my period,” you reasoned, chuckling at the absurdity of your reason. 

“I understand,” he kissed the top of your head. “What do you want for dinner?” 

His question sparked joy inside you, and the mopey girl from minutes ago disappeared. Food is the way to anyone’s heart. Any partner should know that by now. 

How could you be uncontended with this? 

---

FIN

P.S. There's a part of me that finds the progression of their love story a bit fast, but please let me know what you think.

Reasons to keep writing:

it brings you joy

somebody has to take care of the characters

you have a lesson to teach

it gets you through everyday life

there's people excited for the next chapter

to provide hope for yourself and others

if you don't tell the story, no one else will

it's a way of expressing yourself / what you go through

to make yourself and others feel less alone

people adore your writing

your characters would miss you if you left

nobody can take your place / write your stories for you

to leave something behind to be remembered by

to release your emotions

to inspire other people

Biohazard

Johnny Suh can make the funniest faces look like he’s flirting. Case in point: 

What does that have to do with this post? And what’s up with the title? I guess you have to read on to find out why. I’m such a tease, but let me have that moment from time to time. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: This is the last fluff generator-inspired post for now, and it comes from this prompt: 

Essie bakes Johnny cookies out of love. Unfortunately Johnny is pretty sure these cookies are a biohazard.

POV: 3rd person

Word count: 1,300 + words

–––

This week was particularly tiring for Johnny – he was busy with work as a DJ. He was invited to be a guest DJ at a popular radio station for a whole week and even played some tunes after each session. Sure, it might pay a lot, but it can be exhausting to be up at 11 in the evening and end the day around the wee hours of the morning.

Because of this stint, he wasn’t able to hang out with his girlfriend lately. Essie worked regular hours – 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. – and when she came home, he was taking his second nap for the day. She would rest around 9 p.m., and he always ended up seeing her sleeping form on her bed. It pained him that she didn’t want to sleep on his bed without him in it.

“I’ll sleep on my bed for the meantime, okay? Please don’t take it personally,” she told him one time, with a sheepish smile on her face.

As much as he respected her wish, all he wanted was for her to sleep on his bed, so he could smell her scent when he went to sleep at six in the morning.

Essie would leave the house at five in the morning, and he was just on his way home. There were times that he offered to drive her to work, but she declined.

“You’re too tired already, I’ve got this,” she said softly, squeezing his hand.

He didn’t sound convinced, but once again, he had to respect her decision. He felt as if she wasn’t interested in their relationship anymore, but he was incorrect.

In fact, his girlfriend wanted to make it up to him by baking something. She had been looking at cookie recipes as of late and wanted to recreate them, even if she hasn’t baked them before.

She knew he would appreciate her effort even though she isn’t a great cook.

As soon as Essie got home from work on Friday, she got down to baking matcha chocolate chip cookies. She even hid her supplies so she could truly surprise him.

Johnny left early since he had to pick up Doyoung at his place. Sorry, you won’t see my handsome figure here tonight, but I’ll make it up to you this weekend! Love you baby princess~ was his message on a neon pink sticky note posted on the fridge.

She smiled as she pocketed the note in the pocket of her apron. His message motivated her to make the best cookies ever, which she hoped was the case. She rolled the sleeves of her shirt and shouted “Let’s get it!” like what their friends liked to say.

\\\

Essie wasn’t sure if what she made was edible or not. The cookies she baked were comically huge, a bit too hard, almost burnt, and the matcha kind of looked like mold. But when she took a bite, they were passable. It wasn’t too sweet nor too bitter. It didn’t taste like burnt batter either.

“I hope he’ll like this,” she mumbled to no one in particular as she shoved them in a pretty box.

As soon as she was done with her baking, she went to sleep. In her dreams, she felt bad that she didn’t even turn on the radio for the past few days to listen to Johnny. She tossed and turned in her sleep, feeling like a failure of a girlfriend.

And of course, she had to show off her nonexistent baking skills to make it up to him.

This woke her up, and she cried, frustrated at how his schedule was slowly tearing them apart. When she walked to the fridge to throw out the cookies that she made, she saw Johnny holding the box she put them in.

Her eyes widened in shock, not used at how early he was. She checked the clock, and it was 5:30 a.m.

“Hey baby, you’re up early. Go back to sleep,” he said, approaching her with the box of cookies she made. She eyed it with disdain, which he noticed. “Something wrong with this?” He placed the box on the table, and she could only sigh in response.

“I hope you like them. It’s my first time baking cookies so…” She sat on the chair across him, fiddling with her fingers so she couldn’t look at his expression.

“Is that so? How cute of you!” He cooed, using the cute voice he liked to do when talking to children. She felt her cheeks grow warm and covered it with both hands.

As she heard him unbox the cookies, she wanted to crawl back into her bed and hide in the covers. He didn’t deserve to eat these mediocre cookies, but she also wanted him to feel that she was making an effort to keep their relationship afloat.

“Baby…what the hell is this?”

The tone of his voice scared her, and she buried her face deeper in her hands.

“Those are supposed to be matcha chocolate chip cookies…” she mumbled.

“They look like a biohazard, baby. Are you sure it’s safe enough to eat?” She heard his footsteps walk closer to her, and he gently removed her hands from her face. He let her see her creation, and she cringed at it.

“I did my best, okay? I just wanted to make it up to you by creating something out of scratch…” She said with her eyes closed, tears threatening to fall from them.

When she heard him take a bite, she took a peek and saw an indescribable look on his face. She couldn’t decipher if he found her creation delicious or terrible. He took another bite with his eyes closed, chewing the cookie carefully.

“So…how was it?” she asked cautiously, her eyes glued on his face. It looked like he could cry at any moment as well.

“Passable, baby. The cookie’s a bit too hard, and I couldn’t taste the matcha that much,” he said as he took another bite.

She sighed in relief and relaxed on her seat, watching him finish the cookie on his hand. Once he did, he wiped his hands on his jeans and returned the box in the fridge.

“You’ll have to learn how to properly bake with me, okay? Why don’t we do it later?”

He picked her up from her seat and carried her bridal-style, which startled her. She wrapped her arms around his neck awkwardly and nodded. He kissed her forehead before he adjusted his hold on her since one wrong move on his part, or she would fall on the floor. She sensed his intention and helped him by pushing herself higher so his hands can carry her comfortably.

“You’re sleeping on my bed today since I’m back,” he whispered too closely to her ear, making her flinch. “You don’t have to do that,” she grumbled, loosening her hold on his neck.

“But I want to. And I know you missed this,” he teased as he even breathed down her neck. “Younghooooo!” She squealed, her face red in embarrassment. He laughed at her reaction and readjusted her once more in his arms as they approached his room.

“Let’s sleep now, okay? I’m ready to call it a night,” he said as he carefully placed her on his bed. “At least now I get to cuddle with my favorite plushie!” With that, he jumped on the bed and tackled her.

Essie felt defeated but in a good way – she knew she couldn’t do anything but accept his love by being the big baby that he still is.

They slept in each other’s arms – she was in her pajamas while he was still clad in his turtleneck and jeans.

He was so tired that he didn’t mind that his girlfriend’s cookies didn’t taste that great – he was happy that she still loves him and would do something out of her comfort zone to show her affection.

He felt like the luckiest man alive, but now, luck would be put aside for his much-needed rest.

–––

FIN

P.S. The face he makes in the GIF is something I imagine the look he’d react to Essie’s ‘biohazard’ cookies, and then he’ll wink at her for her effort and cuteness.  

I'm back?

So, I’ve become inactive in posting my writing again. But fret not, that doesn’t mean I have completely stopped my craft.

My mind’s been brewing with a lot of ideas, and I hope that I can share them in writing with you very soon. But for now, I’ll do what I can, and I hope for your support.

I would appreciate it if you could also comment aside from liking them. That would motivate me more to post, perhaps?

Thank you for your time reading this, and you’ll get a teaser of one of my major works shortly.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

My heart goes to these men.

Foreign Swaggers forever!

THE CEO, THE MANAGER, & THE INTERN