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last young renegade | jjh

summary: your valentine’s day plans with jaehyun may have gone down the drain just a little. (okay — a lot.)

pairing: jaehyun x reader verse: canon, idol!verse rating: t warnings&tags: reader & jaehyun are in an established relationship, quite frankly there is nothing too out of the ordinary in this fic which is a shocker, it’s a rewritten fic so pls excuse any errors I may not have caught! word count: 5.02k

a/n: happy 2024 friends and family !!!!!! and advanced happy birthday to the man who created valentine’s day, he who is perhaps my first love in nct, jaehyun! this is actually just a fic I’ve been hoping to re-write a bit from before, and since it’s valentine’s themed, what better time to post it!! Enjoy enjoy, and may this year bring more fun, laughs, love (and debauchery) to this blog!

Yᴏᴜ sᴀɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ sɪᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴏғ ɪᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ, ɴɪɢʜᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴀʏ.

♡ jaehyunnie ♡ I know I said birthday dinner but practice is running so late ㅠㅠ ♡ jaehyunnie ♡ Can we meet after? I’m sorry ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ How about I call you when we’re done? Maybe 11:30?

At times like this, you often wonder if it’s all worth it.  

You know thinking that way is counterproductive, not to mention a little unfair. You knew exactly what to expect, getting into an under-wraps relationship with an idol, and so far, it’s lived up to most of your assumptions, and then some. It doesn’t help that Jaehyun, even just by name, tends to attract an unbelievable amount of attention. You know you can’t blame him; it’s not like he wants to be high on the radar every time, either. For some reason, though, you seem to be looking for something or someone to blame, which you also know is a dead end. You have no one to pin the blame onto apart from yourself by frequently generating doubts that keep your mind running around in circles.  

It’s not even the sneaking around that gets tiring; it’s the waiting — waiting on calls, waiting on free time, waiting on a good opportunity to do something that doesn’t involve him suddenly getting pulled out to attend to one of many of his celebrity responsibilities. Over the last few years that you’ve dated, NCT has only ever gotten more popular; with that popularity came the fact that the public eye was trained on them, focusing on every microscopic detail of their lives. Jaehyun hates that more than anything, which is why he’s given up on trying to avoid it by practically escaping it altogether, locking himself up in the dorm with you when he has his precious few days off. 

While it’s true that you definitely don’t miss having to play espionage when going out for a cup of coffee with him, you’ve also managed to memorize every single inch of Jaehyun’s room, which isn’t good for your mentality, you’re pretty sure. You have to keep reminding him to open the window whenever the both of you are in there, because all you do is stay in and watch English movies without subtitles to see who can understand the most without asking questions (obviously, he always wins) while eating food he runs up and down the stairs to get every other hour. And while him trying to imitate the British accents on these shows is genuinely funny, you’re starting to suspect even he’s starting to get tired of watching Harry Potter over and over again. Twenty hours sounds like a long time unless you spend every twenty-hour period you have together marathoning the exact same films. Much to both of your disappointment, your suggestion to watch it totally out of order did not make it cooler.

Still, you suppose it’s not all bad. Jaehyun also taught you how to play Fortnite on a couple of his days off back to back, and while you hadn’t been as good a player as you both had hoped, he’d still patiently waited for you every time you got lost on the map. He’d even given you his account’s password with the sentiment that this was him ‘taking things to the next level with you,’ and you get to log into his account and play whenever you want; he doesn’t even get mad when you’ve wasted all the stuff he’s farmed on your subpar gaming skills. And, well, the bigger picture was that you loved him. Based on how much effort he put into the relationship, plus the bonus of his trust in you when it came to his Fortnite account, you could at least be confident in that he returned the sentiment.  

Except, sometimes, you still wonder if it would be easier for the both of you if he flew solo and didn’t have a girlfriend that tanked all of his player’s ammo and health kits and generally made a fool out of his cute little avatar while he was out breaking his back onstage.  

You aren’t sure if Jaehyun’s been noticing the turmoil in you; you’re not that good at hiding how you feel, anyway, but if he has, he hasn’t said anything thus far. You do observe how much more he texts you when he has free time, which makes you feel doubly bad, because you know that he’s spending precious minutes he could be resting with on talking to you instead, which isn’t the best trade-off for someone who’s constantly busy — and thereby constantly tired — like him.  

♡ jaehyunnie♡ ___________ I’m going to practice again, okay? Wait for my call ㅠㅠ You I’ll wait for your call ♡ ♡ jaehyunnie♡ I love you ㅠㅠㅠㅠ ♡ jaehyunnie♡ You love me too — a lot, right? I’ll keep my phone now, but I’ll make sure to check that you said so. ㅋㅋㅋ You Right! ㅎ I love you a lot! ♡

When the clock hits 12:01, and your phone is silent, your mind starts working on overtime again. It’s only when the special ringtone you’ve set for him comes to life at half-past midnight that you break your train of thought and put on your socks so you can meet Jaehyun at your front door.  

You’ve made a rule — sort of like a deal — between the two of you that apologies aren’t necessary when work holds you up. You’ve cashed in on that deal a couple of times, but you’re both aware that it’s more for Jaehyun’s sake than anything else, and he keeps to his word on that much when you open the door and duck into his car. All he does is smile at you, and you smile back, and for the rest of the car ride, everything seems okay.  

He always asks you about your day — unfailingly, at any chance he can. It’s never an off-handed question, either; Jaehyun takes great pride in his memory, and the sweetest thing about him is that he’s dedicated a good deal of it to knowing almost everything about you. Right now is no different. He asks you about your team manager, what you had for lunch; he grills you on if you took your vitamins today and if you got to break in the new shoes you bought online — the ones you’d been pining over for the last three months. He even asks you about the guy from the neighboring department who keeps asking you out for after-work drinks.  

“He wanted to go to Hongdae tonight,” you tell him as he slows for a red light. “There’s some new pub of his friend’s doing a soft opening there tonight.”  

“You could have gone.” He keeps his eyes on the road. “I wouldn’t have minded.”  

“I didn’t want to.”

“Good.” He glances at you, a grin slowly spreading on his lips. “Because I lied. I might have minded a little. Or, you know, a lot.”  

“Don’t tell me after all these years, you’ve turned into the kind of boyfriend that doesn’t let his girlfriend go out without him.”

“That’s impossible for me, and you know that,” he chuckles. “You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. Just not with that guy from the other department.”

“Don’t worry.” You tinker with the little charm dangling on your phone — half of a flat, metal heart dangling from a gold chain that Jaehyun had given you two years back on your birthday. He keeps the other half, but since he can’t freely attach it to any of his belongings, he keeps it wedged between the back of his phone and its case. You like watching him change the backing because he does it so carefully, like he’s worried the other half of the heart is going to break if he rips off the case willy nilly. “I told him my boyfriend and I were going out on a date tonight, so he backed off. Although he did wonder why I keep talking about a boyfriend he’s never seen.”

“And? What did you say?”

“I said it was none of his damn business.”  

Jaehyun laughs loudly, and you go along with him, but you don’t miss how tired he looks when he sobers down, the green light illuminating all the shadows on his face as he steps on the gas again.

Nothing good is open this late at night — that is, nothing you haven’t seen before. You hadn’t even expected to go out at all, but since it was the day before Valentine’s Day as well as his birthday (or it would have been, if you hadn’t waited until midnight), Jaehyun had wanted to do something special without having to run into a huge crowd of couples on the day itself. Your only option is this from-out-of-town carnival that’s set up in tents and even has a medium-sized ferris wheel by the edge of the metal barricade. The parking lot is practically empty when Jaehyun pulls into a slot; you joke that he should break one rule and park in two slots, which he smugly replies to by saying he couldn’t park badly even if he tried.  

He tucks your hair back behind your ears as he loops the strings of a face mask around them, using another one for himself. Between that and the brim of his cap, you can barely see his eyes. The only knowledge that you have that you’re walking next to the man you love is that he takes your hand in his, slender fingers finding their way between yours.  

The carnival is half-closed when you get to the middle of it; there are still a few stragglers, but half the kiosks have their lights off already. There’s a woman dressed in flashy clothes standing on a patch of dead grass a few feet away, and she’s holding a hoop that a ginger cat is jumping through. Jaehyun steers you to them, and you stand there for a good five minute watching the cat roll on the ground and stand on its hind legs, but you can tell it’s been going it at for most of the day because at one point, it just ignores the lady, opting to weave its way between Jaehyun’s and your legs instead. You do have a pretty good time when he picks it up and cradles it in his arms so you can pet it for a second, but it just hisses when its owner approaches and jumps out of his hold, disappearing behind a row of trash bins.  

Jaehyun doesn’t have anything in his wallet apart from his credit cards and 50,000 won, and the coin machine operator says he only has enough coins left to break down 5,000 won for the games, so you end up having to jog back to his car so you can fish out some coins from inside his glove compartment. You come up with a grand total of 1,500 won, and you have to sheepishly go back to the coin machine operator to change four 100 coins and a couple of 50s just to get the last 500. Jaehyun tells you to hold onto the three coins so he doesn’t run off with them entirely and leave you destitute.  

You learn you can only do three things at most — you dedicate 500 won for the Ferris wheel entry tickets, which leaves you with 500 won each. The both of you agree on choosing one kiosk to play in, and with only about five left that are open, you don’t really have that many options. You end up dragging Jaehyun over to a stall with a pond filled with those magnetic toy fish, but 500 won only gets you one fishing rod. Since it’s your choice, Jaehyun lets you play, but you feel kind of stupid doing it on your own with him just watching you. In the end, he decides to stand behind you, his arms around your waist like he thinks closer contact isn’t even more distracting. You do manage to fish out 10 fish and win a small bear on a keychain. It doesn’t even pass through your hands as Jaehyun takes it from the stall operator immediately. 

“That’s mine!” You whine, reaching out in vain to take it from him; he just holds it high over his head. His eyes are twinkling under the shadow his cap casts over his face. “I worked hard for that.”  

“Let me keep this one,” he mimics the pleading lilt in your voice. “I’ll put it on my bag.”

“You know you can’t! Give it back.”

“I’ll win you a bigger one,” he promises. “Let me keep this one. It’s cute. It reminds me of you. I’ll kiss it goodnight before I sleep.” He starts to laugh softly. “And then you’ll feel this weird spirit kissing you at like two in the morning, and you’ll know it’s me.”  

Your arms aren’t long enough to retrieve it, and you don’t really want to, so you settle with twisting his ear. He takes it in stride even if he over-acts, making pained noises while leading you to the kiosk he wants to go to. It’s a shooting range stall, and he pays his own precious 500 won for a dart gun. He’s barely paying attention when the guy starts explaining how many points are assigned to each balloon color, more concerned with talking to the bear keychain in his hand and pretending like he’s cooing at you. You have to hit him across the shoulder to get him to focus.  

“You need to start picking out what prize you want,” he tells you — the actual you, not the animal keychain version — as he lifts the dart gun.  

“I’ll wait for you to finish first.”  

“No way.” He tilts his head, closing one eye to steady his line of sight. “Pick already. Or just go for the biggest one.”

“You know that Fortnite and dart guns aren’t the same thing, right?”  

“Yeah, but I’m well-motivated.” He grins at you, one eye still shut. He looks like a baby pirate. “Go ahead. Pick the biggest one.”

“Why don’t you just shoot, and we’ll see.”  

“Pick it,” he insists. “Tell me you have faith in me. Tell me you love me.”

“Okay, I love you,” you agree. “But I have no faith in you when it comes to this.”  

“One out of two is fine,” he concedes, taking aim.  

All three of you, including the stall operator, let out a disappointed groan when he misses his first shot. His comes with a sheepish laugh as he reloads, suddenly telling you to pick the second biggest prize instead. You can’t even watch him miss over and over, so you pretend to be interested in a bunch of teenage boys playing a game of cups one stall over, trying not to giggle when you hear him get increasingly more frustrated at himself. When you turn back around, you notice he’s holding two small pieces of gummy candy, offering one to you like a kindergartener. He helps you tug your face mask down so you can eat it.  

There’s a food stall nearby that, thankfully, accepts credit and debit; Jaehyun fishes out his card to get you a corndog — only one because he’s watching his weight for the upcoming concert, apparently. This is information you hate hearing but have no say in, and he knows this; you know he does because he says ‘don’t worry about me’ totally out of the blue, like five minutes after the conversation ceases to be relevant.  

His phone starts ringing when the food comes out, and he takes a tiny bite of it — more bread than hotdog — before he answers. You know it’s Taeyong by the way he answers.  

“Hyung, sorry — can we talk later? I’m out with ____________.”  

Taeyong says something loud but indiscernible on the other end. You piece together that it’s about tomorrow’s schedule when Jaehyun speaks again.

“I know. I’ll be home in a bit; don’t worry about it. I haven’t forgotten.”  

There’s more garbled speech on the other line; Jaehyun gestures for you to keep eating, and you do, but you more concerned with the morphing expressions on his face than you are with the act of chewing. He’s making noncommittal noises in response to what seem to be commands and reminders. You’re pretty much done with the corndog by the time he says ‘Okay, hyung. Hyung — I’ll see you later, okay?’

“Taeyong hyung says hi,” he tells you once he’s hung up the phone. “He says you still need to give back that book you borrowed from him last year.”  

“Oh yeah,” you finish off the last of the food. “I’ll drop it off within the week.”  

“Don’t worry about it. He doesn’t actually mean it.”  

Jaehyun watches you snap the stick in half and toss it in the trash bag.  

“We can go home,” you say finally. His eyebrows shoot up. “You’re busy tomorrow. I forgot.”

“I didn’t forget, and it’s fine.”  

“It’s almost two in the morning.” You check your phone to verify. “You probably have to be up in a few hours. You need to sleep, or you’ll die, Jaehyun. I’m too young to be a grieving widow.”

“Let’s at least ride the Ferris wheel,” he suggests. Before you can protest, he tugs you towards the rickety contraption, digging the 500 won out of your pocket and handing it to the bemused operator. He lets you choose what carriage you want because literally no one is on it anymore, and Jaehyun asks for the best carriage. You’re not sure how it differs from the rest, but he makes a show out of guiding you into it, and you don’t miss the corny ‘my lady,’ he mutters under his breath.   

It’s small, clearly meant for either a tiny group of children or couples who want to be as close together as possible. It’s also not air-conditioned, and only one of the windows is open, so you end up sticking to Jaehyun’s arm on the way up. The view is still great, though, and you feel his hand settle on your knee as the carriage makes it slow ascent.  

The ride up is quiet, and you press your face as close to the glass of the carriage as you dare, but Jaehyun doesn’t move an inch. His hand is still heavy on your thigh, but it doesn’t do anything but lay there. When you’re close to the top, you’re hit with the urge to do something romantic — kiss, maybe, tell him happy birthday, or say ‘I love you’ to him in the most sickening way possible — but when you turn to look at him, you have to hold your tongue.

Jaehyun is asleep, leaning against the corner of the carriage, head tilted down a little. His shoulders are rising and falling slowly, and he’s pulled down his face mask a little so he can breathe better; his lips are slightly parted by the slackening of his jaw. His left hand is shoved in his pocket, like he’d passed out halfway through reaching for something in there.  

He doesn’t wake even when you move slightly so you can lean back next to him, rocking the carriage a little — not even when you reach up and adjust his head so he can rest on your shoulder. He breathes deeply, evenly, and you wonder if his ear against your shoulder allows him to hear your heart plummet unfairly to the bottom of your stomach.  

You have to shake him to rouse him when the ride comes to an end; when he opens his eyes and realizes what happened, he looks mortified. Instinctively, he opens his mouth, but you fling the carriage door open and step out before he can apologize.

You have a deal, and he knows what he shouldn’t be doing.

His grip on your hand is much tighter as you walk back to the parking lot, and he doesn’t let go, even on the road. The trip back is quieter, maybe because it’s late, or maybe because there are a ton of things the both of you want to say but can’t.  

He slows down when he gets to your street, but when he stops in front of your building, he doesn’t immediately unlock the doors to let you out. Instead, he turns to you, licking his lips a little nervously.

“Can you…” he clears his throat because his voice cracks a little on the first attempt. “Can you come back with me? To the dorm?”  

“I have work tomorrow, Jaehyun.”  

“It’s still at eleven, isn’t it? I can bring you home before that. You still have some stuff in my room. You can get ready there.”

“Won’t you be too busy?”  

“Just—” he sighs softly. “Can you? Please?”  

You don’t know how to say no to Jaehyun, and tonight isn’t a night you’re willing to try. It’s why fifteen minutes later, you’re walking through the front door of his dorm. Donghyuck, sitting at his computer in his room with the door ajar, greets you sleepily as you pass by.  

Jaehyun steps in the shower with you; you don’t talk, maybe because you’re worried you might wake the others up if you start a full-blown conversation in a bathroom surrounded by other bedrooms. He just passes you what you need, and you do the same for him, and somewhere in between, he kisses you under the spray of the water.  

Later, he falls asleep with a face mask on, and you have to peel it off for him and toss it into the trash. The tip of his nose is shiny, and you want to kiss it, but you know it’ll wake him, and you noticed he’d set his alarm to go off two hours from now. He’s set out a couple of earplugs for you so that you don’t hear it, but you don’t put them in. You want to see him before he leaves, even if it’s in the deadest hours of morning, so you just crawl into bed with him. A minute before you doze off, you feel his damp skin press against your neck, his form curled up against your back.  

The alarm never wakes you; the sun is out when you open your eyes, and when you check your phone, you see that it’s already half-past nine. You also notice that there’s nothing from Jaehyun on your screen, but you try not to dwell on that, considering that you’d been expecting to wake up to an empty bed. His side of the mattress is cold, which means that he’s been gone for some time.  

You don’t know if it’s just because you’re groggy, but your insides still feel like lead when you sit up. The part of you that nags about this relationship is back at full force when you start thinking about Jaehyun going to a pre-recording two hours after spending the last of his energy on you. You start wondering if you’re doing the right thing if it feels like you’re just dragging him down. Your heart clenches tightly when the worst thought hits — maybe, just maybe, he’s tired of you, too.

But you won’t let him go. More to the point — you can’t. He’s the best part of your life; it’d be a cold day in hell if you decided to leave him.

Even the thought of it makes you feel like dying.  

Then again, this isn’t all up to you.  

You’re rubbing the sleep out of your eyes — and maybe a couple of frustrated tears — when the door creaks open. You see two mugs and his hands before you see the rest of him come through the doorway. Jaehyun whispers a careful good morning as he sets the coffee down on his table, making sure to push his keyboard away to avoid accidents, before sitting down next to you. You notice that there’s an envelope next to one of the mugs; the flap is slightly open, and from under it, a flash of red peeks out.  

His hand finds its way back to your knee — it’s his favorite resting place, he’s told you once. Your lap feels like home, he’d joked. Maybe he touches it every so often because it’s like a reset button for him.  

He doesn’t ask if you slept well, or if you want to get ready before having your coffee, or if you’re okay. He just squeezes your knee a little tighter. It’s you that has to start the conversation this time.

“How did it go?”

“It went great. You’ll see it on TV later tonight,” he starts rubbing your thigh idly. “You’ll watch it later, right?”  

“Of course. I’ll call you and tell you how cool you look.”  

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. When you lapse into silence again, it’s because you’re expecting him to say something, but he doesn’t come out with it directly. You try not to let it show that you’re worried, that you’re skeptical, that you’re wondering if he thinks he’s too tired, too busy for this, too.  

You’re expecting him to start how most break-ups start. You know I love you, right? And then the telltale but… would come, and you would have to hold back your tears and smile for him, and tell him you know, and that you understand it isn’t the right time, but maybe one day, someday, when he isn’t everyone’s Jung Jaehyun anymore — only yours.  

“You love me, right?”  

It’s not what you’d been expecting. Nor is it the playful little text he’d sent — no laughs, no jokes. His expression is somber, mouth pressed into a thin line.  

“You know I do.”

“A lot, right?”

“A lot,” you confirm softly.  

“Then whatever it is that you’re thinking about us,” he says quietly. “Don’t. Don’t think it. Don’t do it.”  

“Jaehyun—”

“I know it’s hard,” his fingers dig into your skin a little. “I know I put you through a lot. I know you think that I’m suffering because of this relationship too. I know everything. But whatever you think I’m going to do, I won’t do it — not ever. So if you’re thinking of it too, I’m begging you. Don’t. Please.”  

Maybe he had noticed all this time. A wave of guilt washes over you when you see the pained look on his face; perhaps you were even more transparent than you’d originally thought. You nod slowly to show your understanding, and he continues.  

“I know yesterday wasn’t the best you could have hoped for,” he carefully avoids apologizing, although it’s written all over his features. “For me, too. I… I wanted something different. It’ll be better next time. Do you believe me?”  

You hear him swallow — his nails are biting into your thigh a little, so you have to gently peel his hand off. Your fingers replace it, tightening around his palm as you nod.

“I believe you.”  

“And you trust me, right?”

“With my life.”  

“Then can you put your faith in me right now?” He asks. “Don’t panic. Just — just say yes.”

He pats around his pants, finally deciding to slip his hand into his left-hand pocket. Unlike on the Ferris wheel, he manages to extract something, but he keeps it closed in his fist. It’s shaking a little as he takes your hand in his other one, pressing something small and hard into your palm before he curls your fingers over it. His hold keeps your fist closed as he starts talking.

“It’s not immediate. We’ll figure it out. We’ll tell the right people, and they’ll help us tell everyone else — the public, the press. It doesn’t have to happen right now, or any time soon either— not if you don’t want it to. We can take it slow, or whatever. Anything you want — just as long as it’s with me.”  

“Jaehyun,” you shake your head, a little dizzy. “What are you talking about?”  

He slowly loosens his hold on your fingers, his hand dropping to the same spot on your knee. You’re free to open your fist, and when you do, you can’t help but feel a little stumped.

“I don’t mean now,” he repeats, now sounding doubly worried. “It’s not — It’s just…”  

“You’ll get in trouble. We can’t.”

“I won’t. Not if we do this right. Like I said, we can do it slowly. Months — years, however long it takes to do it well. What it is — it’s just… a promise.”  

“A promise,” you echo. It does have a nice ring to it.  

“That I’m not leaving you. Not ever. And… if you say yes, that you won’t either.”  

Your coffee has probably turned cold. Jaehyun is watching you carefully, looking like he’s trying hard not to bite his lip. You look back down at your hand, and he speaks up again.  

“You know I love you, right?”  

You smile slightly. “No but?”  

“No but,” he agrees.  

The ring fits nicely on your finger; maybe it’s well-measured from the amount of times he’s held your hand tightly in his.  

“Okay, Jaehyun,” you whisper. “I promise.”  

When you place your hand on his, he twists his palm, slender fingers gently twirling the ring around the base of your finger.  

Minutes later, he hands you your coffee. It’s sweet and milky, the way he knows you like it best. When he settles back down on the bed, you notice his eyes travel to your finger again, a small smile playing on his lips.  

Perhaps, in this moment, you finally learn to ask the right questions — not about if it’s worth it, but if he is.  

And in this moment, where he sits in silence with you, the sunlight pouring in from his window hitting the tips of his hair and the end of his nose, with the knowledge that his heart is as full as yours, you come to realize that there can — and never will be — any doubt of that.  

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Lee Mark- "All that you are is all I'll ever need"

It's pretty cold outside at 10 p.m, and you wrap your black sweater a bit tighter around you as another gust of wind passes by, chilling you to the bone.

It's still enjoyable, though, somehow.

You close your eyes, listening to the chirp of the birds and the howl of the wind, persistent and angry.

Your fingers run through the grass you're currently lying on, admiring the way the green bands bow under your touch.

It's calming, and it somehow makes your heart warm even though you're starting to lose feeling in your face due to the harsh wind.

"You're unbelievable".

You blink your eyes open at the familiar voice, not surprised in the slightest to see your boyfriend standing above you with an exasperated expression on his face, holding a thermos in his left hand and a furry blanket in the other.

He looks soft, wearing an oversized olive green sweater and black joggers, and he's shivering slightly due to the low temperature outside.

You smile at him teasingly, rolling on your stomach to look at him clearly. "And yet you don't look surprised at all".

Mark huffs dramatically at your response, glaring at you momentarily before sitting next to you on the grass, wincing when his bottom touches the ground.

"You don't have to be here and suffer because of me, you know", you say softly when he spreads the blanket over the both of you, the soft material immediately warming you up.

Mark doesn't answer for a second, handing you the thermos in silence, which you already know contains your favorite peppermint tea.

"I know", he says simply, taking a sip out of his own cup of tea, his face momentarily covering in steam. "But if you insist on coming here, the least I can do is make sure you don't freeze to death".

You roll your eyes at that, but you feel warm all over, and you think it might be because of Mark Lee and not just because of the blanket covering you and the hot beverage in your hands.

"I'll be fine", you smile at him gently, shifting so you're sitting in front of him, almost on top of him, your thighs placed on his legs and your feet on the sides of his hips. "I'm a big girl"

"Maybe, but you're my girl as well."

You feel your face turn red at your boyfriend's words, and, judging by the blush dusting his cheeks, he's just as surprised by his comment as you are.

"Anyways...", He looks down, playing with his cup awkwardly, "I'm staying".

You stare at him for a second, considering all the possibilities before sighing deeply, "Okay".

You lean forward, wrapping your arms around Mark's torso, laying your head against his chest so you can feel the beat of his heart against your ear.

He sighs as well, a sigh of satisfaction mixed with annoyance, before wrapping his own arms around your waist, kissing your temple gently.

The two of you stay like that, with Mark rubbing his thumbs gently against your hipbones, his cheek pressed to the top of your head so you can feel the warmth of his breath against you.

"Why do you come here anyway?", He asks after a few minutes of silence, one of his hands carding through your hair gently as he speaks.

You shrug against him, your words muffled by the material of Mark's shirt when you answer. "Helps me think".

"You can't think inside our apartment?", Mark asks sarcastically, yelping when you bite his bicep as a punishment.

You change your position after that, so Mark's lying on his back now with you held tightly against his chest, legs tangled together and your head placed right under his chin.

You stare at the sky. It's so dark outside, especially where you live, so far away from the city and detached from the rest of the people.

But thanks to the darkness, you get to see the stars.

You move your eyes from the stars in the sky to the stars in your boyfriend's eyes. He's already looking at you, a small smile on his face, and you giggle, curling closer to him.

"See what I mean?", You whisper, returning your attention to the universe above you. "It's beautiful", you say, tone hushed and small, afraid to ruin the peacefulness of the moment

"Yeah, it is", you don't even need to turn your head to know Mark's looking at you, and you feel your cheeks darken once again.

Slim fingers tilt your head gently, and then your mouth is pressed against Mark's soft one, sliding over each other with ease that comes with familiarity.

You clutch at the soft fabric of your boyfriend's sweater, pulling him even closer till your nose bump against each other, causing you to laugh silently into each other's mouths, soft and loving.

Mark pulls away slightly, keeping his forehead pressed against yours, staring into your eyes with what can only be described as love.

"You bring me peace, baby. Which is why I'll go outside in the freezing weather, in the middle of the night, just to be with you".

You smile, leaning forward to kiss Mark once more, a soft peck that makes something bloom deep in your heart.

"I love you."

NCT reaction to you being small:

Taeil:

Because he isn't so tall himself, he really loves that you're so small (finally he can feel like the hyungnim he is). You being short is just another excuse for him to baby you to be honest. Always tells you how cute you are when you complain about your height. Loves to press his cheek against the top of your head when you're hugging and leave a kiss on your hair.

Johnny:

This giant adores your smallness. You practically reach his knee, but he loves it. Laughs whenever you have to jump to kiss him or when you stand on your tip toes to hug his waist. But still calls you cute all the time, and ruffles your hair gently when you get mad. You're always using him when you need to reach things that are high up. You love cuddling with him because he basically covers you completely and it makes you feel safe UWU.

Taeyong:

He probably doesn't show it very often, but this dude melts into a puddle whenever he sees you swimming in one of his sweaters or standing next to one of the members. Compliments you all the time and talks about how much he loves you and your height, because he knows you get insecure sometimes. Always touching you, it's like an automatic response when he sees you. Loves to backhug you randomly and place his chin on the top of your head as you waddle around like two ducklings uwu.

Yuta:

Teases you nonstop about your height, lol rip. Invents new comments everyday to annoy you and enjoys hiding your things on top shelves just to see you struggle smh. But also, loves your shortness, and protects it shamelessly whenever you complain about it. Smiles uncontrollably when you can't reach something and ask for his help. Loves to hug you and just watch how perfectly your body fits in his.

Kun:

He just loves you, to be honest. Never teases you for your height and always tells you how cute and beautiful you are. Gets really overprotective when anyone teases you, even the members, for being small, because he never wants you to be insecure about your body. Has actual heart eyes whenever you struggle to reach something and always helps you without a word, trying not to smile so you won't think he's laughing at you, but you're just TOO CUTE he can't help it.

Doyoung:

Doyoung doesn't really tease you or act all soft for you because of your height. He's just soft for you in general lol but your shortness isn't something he thinks about alot. Sometimes you'll hug and he just melts a bit when he realizes how small you are and how his arms practically surround you completely. Will die before he admits how cute he finds you though smh. But he's still a bit more overprotective of you, especially with the members, because he knows they love to tease you and/or be affectionate towards you, and none of that is going to happen on his watch excuse you.

Ten:

Another tease lol. Is super flirty and laughs at you constantly but still manages to be extra careful and soft with you. Because he is short himself, you two make the cutest couple. Loves to hug you from the front with his hands around your waist and his head on top of yours. Kisses your forehead all the time and makes a big deal of having to lean down to do it smh.

Jaehyun:

You're the most perfect human being in his eyes, and he loves you and your small body so much, he doesn't know how to express it with words. Always staring at you with shiny eyes full of adoration and a small smile. Teases you in the sweetest way possible, not in words but in actions, like suddenly picking you up and carrying you bridal style, or placing you on a counter or something so you can be eye level. Never lets you say anything bad about yourself or your body, you have to love yourself as much as he loves you missy.

Winwin:

Winwin isn't the best at expressing his emotions, so I don't think he would baby you like some of the other members. But don't let that confuse you, Winwin is a sucker for you and your small proportions, especially because he's a pretty tall dude. He's always smiling slightly when he's next to you, probably thinking about how adorable you are. Might be a little touchy sometimes even, holding your hand and admiring how small it is in his or back hugging you occasionally. He's also so done with the members omg, you're probably the most babied couple in history lol.

Jungwoo:

Get ready to be babied 24/7 lol. Your smallness is literally the death of Jungwoo oml. Finds everything you do adorable and can't help but kiss you all over your face and hug you tightly in his arms because you just fit there so well. Might tease you lightly because he's the main comedian but will never say anything that will make you insecure or embarrassed. Loves to cuddle you, and couldn't care less if he's the small spoon or big spoon. Calls you cute nicknames like shortcake or muffin to make you blush uwu.

Lucas:

Another giant lol. To be honest, I don't think Lucas would tease you at all about your height. He'd definitely be picking you up all the time, or bending down to match your height, but he doesn't do that as a way to make fun of you. Thinks you are the cutest most beautiful person he ever met, so sometimes he just gets really shy around you randomly. Cuddles with you all the time omg. Sometimes he just forgets how huge he is and you have to remind him that he's three times your size and you can't breath when he's on top of you. But then he gets all embarrassed and says sorry a hundred times and kisses you all over to make it better uwu.

Mark:

I don't think he would pay much attention to your height difference. Sure, he thinks you're adorable and he wants to squish you 24/7, but it doesn't really have to do anything with your size. Sometimes he'll call you cute when he sees you taking off your heels or jumping to reach something, but you can't even blame him, it's like an automatic response. Babies you without noticing, like petting your hair absentmindedly or bopping your nose. Heart eyes all the time omg. He's honestly so whipped for you lol.

Xiaojun:

The most gentle baby in the world. Isn't very overprotective or clingy to you in general but shows his love to you in other ways. Doesn't let you say anything bad about yourself, shaking his head firmly when you say you don't look your age, or when you complain about needing to wear heels all the time. Sends you a huge list of reasons why you're perfect the way you are (it may or may not make you cry). Loves cuddling so much, and loves it even more because of your small size, because it makes it so much more comfortable to snuggle his face in your neck and leave small eskimo kisses there uwu.

Hendery:

Your small proportions make him feel all sorts of things, like?? can you get any cuter? Has a huge smile and sparkly eyes when he's next to you. ALWAYS touching you omg. Kissing your cheeks, holding your hand, petting your hair. Carries you everywhere. Like, you're almost never on the ground next to him. Piggybacks, bridal style, picking you up by the waist, you name it. Sometimes he'll joke around with you, teasing you about your height, but he'd much rather laugh with you than at you. Calls you weird af nicknames like munchkin or peanut. Kisses your nose all the time and holds your hand.

Renjun:

In Renjun's case, your height doesn't really help you tbh. If anything, he's always teasing you for it. But if any of the members even say a bad word about you, they dead. Of course if you'd ever get insecure he'd immediately be by your side, comforting you with his touches and sweet gazes. Except for that, he doesn't really baby you or anything. Loves to cuddle and hug with you because of how convenient it is tho. Is a sucker for forehead and head kisses omg.

Jeno:

Might tease you sometimes, but he does it in such a subtle and sweet way, he still manages to look innocent smh. Finds it adorable when you struggle to reach a high place, so he'll hide stuff purposely high just so he can giggle for a few minutes at how adorable you are. Still always helps you in the end though, handing it over to you and sending you that eye smile you can't resist. Loves to pick you up from your waist and leave kisses all over you face uwu. Also has a thing for pulling you into his lap like a baby (he does it a lot with the members... Just to remind them who you belong to lol)

Haechan:

Omg he loves it so much. Annoys the shit out of you 24/7. Anything from jokes about your height, like pretending not to see you, to pulling pranks on you, like hiding your heels two seconds before you go out so you have to wear regular shoes and look like a garden elf next to him smh. Pisses you off until you get mad because you're just the cutest when you're upset, with that pout and your arms crossed over your chest as you try to ignore him, and can you really blame him???? After that he'll be the sweetest tho, trying to make you forgive him by hugging you tightly in his arms while kissing all over you face and whispering apologies and comments about how beautiful you are and how much he loves you. Turns so soft seeing how perfectly you fit in his arms, so you cuddle all the time uwu.

Jaemin:

He just loves you tbh. Wouldn't tease you deliberately, but sometimes his heart just melts and he can't help but pat your head like a baby or smile widely when you stand on your tiptoes to kiss him. Takes care of you so well, so you can never feel insecure around him. Calls you cute names like princess or cupcake, and does it without noticing, so the members always tease you for it. Loves skinship so much, he can never get his hands off of you omg. Always kissing your nose or cheeks, backhugging you with his head on top of yours and his arms around your waist, and cuddling ofc.

Yangyang:

He's such a good boyfriend to be honest. Your size doesn't really matter to him, but he definitely loves hugging you (especially backhugs uwu). Kisses you out of the blue when you act cute, and is immediately shy afterwards. Doesn't really know what to say when you're insecure about your body, he just loves you as you are and he doesn't understand why you don't.

Chenle:

Teases you here and there, but he's so cute and he has the brightest smile when doing it so you cant even get mad. Bends down all the time to your height and squishes your cheeks. Tells you that you're adorable and cute ten thousand times a day. Loves to play with your hair. Sometimes he just freaks out because he just finds you so cute and small, so he just jumps on you out of the blue and hugs you tightly (usually it's followed by unexplainable screams). He doesn't really protect you from the other members teasing/affection (he sometimes even goes along with it smh), but the second you start to get mad or pouty he's immediately by your side, hugging you and acting cute to make you forgive him.

Jisung:

Is continusally surprised by how small you are. Always comparing your height, just to check if you're really as short as you seem lol. Calling you cute accidentally every two minutes and having a mental breakdown afterwards lmao. He probably used to tease you about your height, but he turns to putty everytime you pout or glare at him cutely and his heart can't handle it, so he doesn't bully you anymore lol. Dies a little whenever you lean up to kiss him or when you hug his waist and your head basically reaches his belly button haha. Is always blushing and super shy around you, but occasionally he'll be the one to initiate skinship, petting your hair or pecking you quickly on your lips.

MK (Part I)

As promised, here’s another Mark post to make up for that brief birthday piece that didn’t get to highlight him that much.

I’ll try my best to post a lot of Mark content since it’s his birthday month, so stay tuned. 

Let the GIF below remind you of that. By the way, this is one of my favorite looks on him! Don’t you all agree?

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: This piece was inspired by one of the prompts in @neoculturedrabbles​ list: 

Prompt #20: “What did you do this time?”

POV: 2nd person since I wrote this late last year. 

Word count: 749 words

–––

“Essie noonaaaaa!” It was the first thing you heard from Mark when he called you up late in the afternoon.

You just woke up from your nap and was about to start a relaxing day doing nothing, but the younger guy had to call you after drinking a glass of lukewarm lemon water.

“Yes, Mark? What can I do for you?” Your voice sounded hoarse, and you cleared your throat, so you sound better.

“I need your help, like, right now. Please. I really need you.” You sensed the fear in his voice, and you held onto your comforter tighter.

“What did you do this time?” Your voice could not hide the exasperation you felt at his call.

You should know by now that when he calls you with a whiny voice, he is up to no good.

“I forgot my wallet at home. I’m with Haechan, and you know how he is, he doesn’t bring a wallet when he’s with his hyungs,” you heard a sharp objection from his dongsaeng, “so can you please bring it here? You know how it looks like, right?”

You sighed, remembering his beat-up leather wallet that could’ve belonged to your uncle. “Yes, Mark. I know what your wallet looks like. Because I’m delivering it to wherever you and Donghyuck are eating, you have to treat me.”

It was his turn to sigh now but in defeat. “Okay, Essie noona. I got you. I’m really sorry I had to disturb you…”

“It’s fine, Mark. As long as you treat me to my fave cake and coffee, we’re good.”

The next thing you heard was Haechan laughing diabolically in the background before you hung up.

///

An hour after he called, you were on your way to the restaurant with his wallet. It felt heavy, and you wondered what it contained.

As you opened the door to the restaurant, you saw Haechan waving at you excitedly. You returned his wave in the same manner, making Mark sink deeper into his seat.

“Here you go, Mark Lee,” you said, handing his wallet before sitting down beside him. “Please don’t forget this every time you step out of the house, okay?”

He bowed in apology after getting the wallet, his face almost hitting the floor. “I’m really sorry, Essie noona,” he then looked at the guy across him, “but this one’s nagging me to hurry up a while ago, and I forgot to bring this in return!”

Haechan looked away, whistling a particular tune. You laughed at their interaction before you patted Mark on his shoulder.

“You should already expect that when you’re with him, okay?” You glanced at the blond boy, who gave you his trademark wink-and-hand-check pose.

Mark could only grumble in response, carefully fishing out bills out of his wallet.

///

After he paid for the meal he and Haechan ate, it was your turn to be treated.

You walked alongside the hyperactive boy, who you did a secret handshake with when he stood up from his seat. It took a minute and a lot of hype sounds (e.g., a lot of ‘hey’s’ and ‘get it’), making Mark embarrassed and amused at your thing.

“Hey, how come I don’t have like that with any of you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at both of you.

“’Cause you’re not cool enough?” Haechan replied in his usual sassy way, eliciting giggles out of you. “And you’re always out, dude. How can we have a special handshake when you’re not here?” You added, planting your hands on your hips.

Your housemate pouted, defeated again with your ‘teamwork.’ “Haechan and I have become close over the past few months too,” you said softly, glancing at the guy beside you who responded with a bashful smile.

“I’m sorry that I’m always out, you know I don’t have much control with my schedule,” Mark mumbled, digging his hands deeper into his pockets. “But anyway, let’s have cake and coffee. My treat.”

You and Haechan exchanged your special high fives and screeched in delight. “Oh yeah! Mark’s treating us!”

“Guys, please. Stop doing that. It’s embarrassing,” your housemate whispered as he walked faster and farther from you.

Haechan, who was taller than you, hooked an arm around your shoulder and walked animatedly beside you. His energy was infectious, and you followed suit, later on singing a Queen song as you trailed the person who was going to treat you to dessert.

–––

FIN

JH (Part I)

So, I’m a bit behind my posting schedule. I’m sorry about that; you know how life can get in the way of things. But here we are again, focusing on my NCT 127 bias wrecker – Jeong Jaehyun.

Since he never looks terrible in his outfits and hair color, here’s a pink-haired GIF of Jay for your pleasure. It’s one of my favorite looks on him, and this era started wrecking me towards him. Oops!

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: Like the previous post, the pieces here were inspired by a prompt list by @neoculturedrabbles​.

POV: 2nd person for the first, 3rd person for the second. 

Word count: 1,400+ words

–––

Prompt #13: “Is that my towel?”

“…”

“Never mind, I’ll get it later.”

Aside from placing his dirty launder in your hamper, Jaehyun tends to use your stuff too. At first, it didn’t sit well with you, considering your other housemates did that as well. (Johnny and Mark loved using your bath products, especially your sandalwood soap.)

Eventually, after the first week of your stay in his apartment, you got used to it. However, it bothered you (a bit) when you spotted him using your towel.

When he emerged from the bathroom, you saw that your white and blue striped towel was wrapped around his torso. He didn’t mind showing you his abs, erm, torso, and you tried your best to avert your gaze at it. You focused on his face instead – it was a bit obscured from his damp hair. At least that was less distracting than his upper body.

“Is that my towel?” You started, your eyes focused on his face. You couldn’t tell what his reaction was since he shook his head to cover his face more (probably from shame).

He didn’t respond and stood still on his spot.

“Never mind, I’ll get it later. Please dry it off well,” you mumbled, walking away and heading straight to the balcony.

\\\

As you smoked your fourth stick for the day, you heard the balcony door slide open to reveal a fully-clothed Jaehyun about to dry the towel he used.

You immediately put out the cigarette and looked at him place it carefully over the drying rack. “What gives, and you had to use my towel, Jay?” You asked, making yourself comfortable on the patio chair.

“Sorry about that, Essie,” he turned to look at you with an apologetic smile, “but I tend to use the first towel that I see.”

You sighed at his response and stood up. “Next time, I’ll place your towel inside your bedroom, so you don’t use mine.” You patted his shoulder before leaving, but he held your hand to stop you.

“I’m really sorry, dear,” he whispered, looking at you with puppy eyes. You sighed again because you knew what would happen next. “I’ll make it up to you, okay? I’ll treat you to coffee.”

“Okay, fine. You know my usual, right?”

“Yeah, do I need to say it out loud?”

“Nope, I’m confident that you know it by heart.”

Your response got a giggle out of him, and he let go of your hand so you could return inside.

Why must he always bribe you with your favorite things so you can forgive him for his forgetfulness? You thought, wrinkling your nose at the thought of just going along with his plans.

But you like it anyway; you like it when he spoils you like that.

“Shut up, brain,” you mumbled to yourself before settling on the couch with your phone.

///

Prompt #16: “My ex is over there. Can you kiss me?” 

Tonight was a cliché waiting to unfold: Essie was in a house party where she’s bound to see her ex from centuries ago.

The host of the said party was a common friend of theirs but also a friend of her new buddies Johnny, Jaehyun, and Mark to name a few.

The party was to celebrate this friend’s milestone of moving abroad for a job opportunity of a lifetime.

Although the presence of Essie’s ex has not yet been confirmed, there is always a possibility that he will be there.

As she wove her way through the crowd, she noticed that Jaehyun was waving enthusiastically at her from a corner. She spotted that he had a drink on one hand, making her wonder where the hell the drinks could be.

The party wasn’t jam-packed, yet there was already a considerable crowd inside. She rushed through the brunette’s side, who was drinking a glass of red wine.

“Hey Jay,” she greeted, exchanging bisous with him. That was how they always greeted each other, anytime and anywhere. He returned it, his free hand squeezing hers.

“Glad you could come to this party,” he started, before taking a sip from his wine, “I thought I was the only one coming here.”

“Where’s John?” She asked, eyes scanning the room for the tall guy. As her eyes roamed for a moment, she didn’t notice that Jaehyun’s eyes darkened at the mention of his friend.

“He might not come; he had important errands to run,” he said, throwing his head back to disguise the fact that he was miffed with her question.

“Okay then…so let’s try to have fun here then?” Essie held out her other hand to him, which he took, and both of them went to the kitchen to get more drinks.

They chatted over wine and beer before they busted their dance moves with the rest of the crowd near the pool. People cheered for them when they did a spicy couple dance (bordering on dirty dancing) and howled even more when they recreated a pop idol’s famous choreography.

Essie’s carefree attitude didn’t last long after they were done dancing – she spotted her ex from afar talking to a girl in a skimpy outfit.

This prompted her to look at her clothing – a long-sleeved crop top, a pair of harem pants, and combat boots – and groaned when she realized what she was doing. So what if she wasn’t showing off her assets? He wouldn’t come back to her anymore, nor should she let him back in her life.

But before she could turn her eyes away from her ex, he spotted her. Panic was written all over her face as she turned to Jaehyun, who sensed her agitation. The guy wasn’t able to say anything as the words that came out of her mouth surprised him.

“My ex is over there. Can you kiss me?”

He was hesitant to grant her request at first but then realized that it was time to hit two birds with one stone – do what she was told and subtly let her know that he was into her.

So he did and pecked her on the lips.

The girl was surprised at his action but went along with it when he pressed his lips further. The peck didn’t even last a minute, but she hoped that her ex saw it so he wouldn’t dare confront her anymore.

After all, it was she who broke up with him. He had no right to claim her back for the things he did. He should understand that she was moving on just fine.

However, Jaehyun heard her wrong. Since they were in a crowded place where the music was about to ruin their eardrums, what she actually said was: “My ex is over there. Can you hide me?”

Add to that her small and soft voice – it was shocking that most of her friends don’t misunderstand her words…until now.

Essie was expecting that Jaehyun will lead her out of the area and resume their drinking session inside, but life likes to throw curveballs sometimes.

The two were left dumbfounded at what happened. “Jay…why did you kiss me?” The girl asked cautiously.

“You told me to?”

Her eyes widened, and her mouth hung open with his statement.

“No, Jay! I didn’t tell you that! What I said was, can you hide me?”

Ah, he heard all right now. His face warmed up at the realization that he misheard her, and suddenly, he couldn’t look her in the eyes. He covered his face with his hands, mumbling what an idiot he is.

“Oh no, Jay! Please don’t do this to yourself,” Essie whispered, holding him by the shoulders. “You misheard me, it’s fine. I’m not mad with what you did…”

“You liked it?” His answer shocked her again, making her clutch her chest.

“Jeong Jaehyun!” She shook both of his shoulders vigorously, which didn’t bother him at all as he chuckled at her reaction.

“I could do that again if you like.”

It took the girl a moment to respond. “Maybe when I see him near me again, I’ll let you.”

“That’s my girl,” Jaehyun closed the small distance between them by wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead. “We can pretend to be together; there’s no one aside from our common friend who knows us here.”

Essie raised an eyebrow at him, wondering where he got his bravado. “You’re awfully bold tonight, sir.”

“It must be the alcohol,” he glanced at the empty beer bottles on top of a nearby table, “shall we get another round, dear?”

“I never thought you’d ask,” she giggled, taking his hand in hers, and together they walked back to the house holding hands.

–––

FIN

Dangerous, B-side

Listening to the same song repeatedly can give you different outputs, but this was my initial draft to Dangerous.

I still wanted to share this since I like the tension between Essie and Jaehyun here, so I hope you enjoy this one.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 2nd person

Word count: 1,040 words (Wow, it's longer than what I've been writing lately lol)

Additional notes: Like with the previous post, I'll be linking some writing that connects to this one.

Warning: Suggestive themes ahead!

---

You knew it would be dangerous to be near Jeong Jaehyun.

You knew the power he held – he was one of the most handsome men you’ve met, and you knew you could give in to anything he asked you to do.

At first, you didn’t really mind him. You were focused on turning down the flirtatious attempts of his best friend, Johnny Suh, who decided to let you know how memorable you were to him when he saw you in Starbucks.

But when you and Johnny decided to become friends, Jaehyun was the first person in his circle of friends that you got to know better.

He was the perfect gentleman, and you appreciated that. You thought he would be a cocky bastard who would use his handsome privileges.

As you got to know more of Johnny’s friends, you didn’t get to hang around Jaehyun that much. But when you did, you started to feel weird around him. Were his looks and gestures getting to you?

You were conflicted since you were also starting to develop feelings for Johnny, despite the not-so-ideal start of your friendship.

You never thought you would feel like this again – falling for two people at the same time. It was bad, but in the end, it was your choice on who you wanted to get together with.

One of the most unforgettable moments you had with Jaehyun was when he kissed you at a party. Your ex was one of the attendees, and you asked him to hide you. He misheard you and pecked you on the lips.

You couldn’t remember what happened after – were you too drunk to recall if you two have already done it? You shut your eyes, trying to recall as much as you could. No, your body didn’t ache when you got home, and you had a good night’s rest.

As you watched Jaehyun grill meat with Taeyong, you couldn’t help but think if you ended up with him instead.

You had shared interests – you loved vinyl records, and you loved drinking wine. You liked his music selection better than Johnny’s, and he was very chill to talk to. He seemed such a calm person who would perfectly complement your feisty personality.

“Penny for your thoughts, Essie?” He asked, flashing you his trademark dimpled smile. “Oh, it’s nothing,” you mumbled, looking away to recover from the embarrassment you felt at looking at him for too long.

“Hey baby, can you help me with this?” You heard Johnny ask from across the room, and you crossed over to where he was. You were thankful he asked you for help because you needed to distract yourself from such tempting thoughts.

You had dinner with Johnny and his friends in your apartment since it’s been a while since all of them got together. Almost everyone had solo projects, and most of them got back to the country recently.

“If someone deserves a solo, it’s you,” Johnny said to Jaehyun, pointing his chopsticks for emphasis.

“Yeah, we agree,” Taeyong and Doyoung chimed in. Everyone else in the room nodded in approval, even you.

Oh, the thought of Jaehyun singing sexy R’n’B songs excited you so much that you felt the familiar wetness on your underwear.

You cursed yourself at this thought and decided to eat more kimchi to forget that sensation.

“Thanks, guys. Maybe soon, I’ll get that project,” Jaehyun said, ears red with embarrassment. Since he was sitting beside you, you were tempted to stroke his red ear and feel how hot it was.

“I’m sure you will; we just have to wait,” you squeaked, slowly looking up from the bowl you have been focusing your attention on.

“Aw, thanks. That means a lot to me, Essie,” his voice was so soft that you thought you were the only one who heard it. Maybe it was really meant for you.

When you looked up from your bowl, he gave you a heartwarming smile. You smiled back, and he touched your wrist. “I look forward to your support, dear,” he whispered.

You could only nod at his response, your body heating up from his touch. You looked away again to see if anyone was observing your interaction but saw that everyone else was involved in their conversations.

It was as if the world stopped, and only you and Jaehyun were having this intimate conversation.

“You keep on looking away from me tonight; is there something on my face that you don’t want to tell me?”

You didn’t expect his words, and when you looked back at him, he tightened the grip on your wrist.

“No, there isn’t anything wrong with your face, Jay! What makes you think there is?” You were beyond flustered, and you could feel your breathing become ragged.

“You aren’t usually like this when we talk,” he loosened his grip now, “and I like it better when the people I talk to can look at me directly on the face.”

You sat up straight and stared at his face. You saw the bags on his under eyes becoming darker and the pimple patches around his nose. When he smiled, you saw there was one more pimple patch underneath his lip.

“Well, fine. You look stressed. I believe you don’t get pimples, yet here you are, wearing pimple patches to a dinner.” You deadpanned, pointing at the patches around his face.

He laughed at your words and swatted your hand away. “It’s normal to have pimples, but I never thought I’d start breaking out now.”

“Don’t be too stressed. You know it’s bad for the health,” you said before going back to eating. “You should take your advice too, honey,” Jaehyun chuckled and mimicked what you were doing.

You rolled your eyes as he also reached for the plate of meat you were holding. “Yeah, you don’t have to remind me of that. Now please, can I have some meat?”

“Jaehyun! Are you teasing Essie?” You heard Johnny comment, probably because he saw how irked you were. Jaehyun let go of the plate of meat and watched you take it for yourself.

No one answered Johnny’s question, and the night continued with everyone catching up on their endeavors.

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FIN

P.S. That was a lame-ass ending, but my mind stopped working after that. I had to get the tension out of the way hehe.