Jeong Jaehyun Fanfic - Tumblr Posts

nct jaehyun with big tit reader pls…

JEONG JAEHYUN (정재현) — TWISTED (18+)

✧

the apartment was quiet, save for the gentle hum of the air conditioning and the rhythmic sweep of the mop across the floor. you moved with practiced precision, your hands gliding over every surface with meticulous care. a flick of your wrist here, a light dusting there—small adjustments that hardly seemed worth noting, but they were. every movement had a purpose, even if it was hidden beneath the veneer of tidying up.

the soft afternoon light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room. you wiped down the windowsill, straightened the framed photo of you and jaehyun on the shelf with a smug glint in your eyes, and smoothed out the creases in the bedsheets. the apartment, as always, was immaculate, the kind of clean that only came from constant upkeep. but today, the cleaning wasn’t really about cleanliness. it was about preparation.

you paused by the desk, fingers brushing over the cool surface. between the neatly arranged pencil holders and stacks of paperwork, you slipped in a small camera, positioning it just right. a subtle angle, nothing too obvious, but enough to capture every corner of the room. a second camera followed, this one hidden in the far corner, tucked away in the shadows where it wouldn’t be noticed. satisfied, you moved on.

under the bed, you placed a voice recorder, pressing it firmly against the wood, ensuring it was out of sight. there was no room for mistakes, not today. finally, a tiny bug nestled into the corner of the room, blending seamlessly with the décor. you stepped back to admire your work, a slight smile tugging at the corners of your lips. everything was in place.

with a slow, deliberate movement, you tightened the belt around your dress, the soft leather pulling snug against your waist. the fabric draped perfectly, as it always did, every detail considered, every piece of you in control. you reached for the bottle of perfume on the vanity, its familiar scent filling the air as you dabbed it on your wrists. not your favorite scent—his. the one that made him lean in just a little closer, his breath catching for just a second longer.

you adjusted the microphone headset over your ears, the cool metal brushing against your skin. a sip of wine followed, the rich, dark liquid swirling in the glass before you took a slow, savoring taste. the tension in your muscles melted away, replaced by something else, something darker. not stress, not weariness, not betrayal. no, none of those things. what filled you now was a quiet thrill, a heat that coiled low in your stomach, simmering beneath the surface.

without a second glance, you made your way downstairs, the soft click of your heels echoing in the hallway. the receptionist barely looked up as you approached, her hand sliding instinctively to the desk drawer. you slipped her a bundle of cash—thick, well-prepared, without a word exchanged. she nodded, her hand moving to unlock the door behind her. you stepped inside the dimly lit security room, the soft hum of the monitors filling the space around you.

you settled into the chair, your fingers tracing the edge of the wine glass as you watched the screens flicker to life. one by one, the angles of the apartment room came into view, each camera displaying its silent feed. and there he was, as you knew he would be. jaehyun, standing in the corner, his body pressed against someone else. a woman, her legs wrapped around his waist, her arms clinging to his back. their lips moved in a frantic, fevered kiss, bodies entwined as if the world outside ceased to exist.

your eyes lingered on the screen, a slow, satisfied smile creeping across your face as you sipped your wine. typical. the scent of your perfume must have hit him, because his movements stilled for just a moment, nostrils flaring as he pulled back from the kiss. but it didn’t matter. even now, with another woman in his arms, your presence haunted him. and that, more than anything, sent a wave of satisfaction through you.

he pressed her harder against the wall, his fingers tangling in her hair, lips grazing her neck. but you didn’t flinch. you didn’t feel the sting of jealousy, didn’t feel your heart shatter at the sight. instead, there was a sick, twisted pleasure in watching him repeat the same motions he did with you. It should have hurt—should have torn you apart—but it didn’t. if anything, it thrilled you.

there was something captivating in watching his desire, watching him pour himself into someone else, knowing full well that no matter how much he took from her, it would never compare to what you gave. he could try, he could chase that feeling, but it would never be the same. not without you. so you let him have his time. let him indulge. and as you sipped your wine, watching the scene unfold before you, you knew that he would always come back. because no one else would ever match what you had.

the security room was dim, the glow of the monitors casting an eerie light over jaehyun’s sharp features. he sat in the worn leather chair, eyes glued to the flickering screens before him. the scent hit him first, thick and sweet like spun sugar, relentless in its sweetness, clinging to every breath he took. your perfume. it was unmistakable, coating the air with a syrupy heaviness that curled around him like a possessive hand. he grunted softly, his fingers gripping the arms of the chair, knuckles whitening as he inhaled deeply, letting the scent overwhelm his senses.

he knew it too well. the fragrance that lingered on your skin after a night out, the same one that would pull him toward you, that made his breath hitch when he buried his face in your neck. but tonight, the thought gnawed at him. was it for him? the way it used to be? or for your lover, the one you disappeared with after slipping out of the apartment when you thought he wasn’t looking?

the lines blurred in his mind, the sharpness between you and him, between you and whoever else had stolen your time, stolen what should have been his. his jaw tightened as he leaned closer to the screen, eyes narrowing. you had set this up. he knew it the moment he stepped into the room, knew it from the way the cameras were positioned. it was so you—calculated, precise, cruel in a way only he could appreciate. he wanted to hate it, to hate you, but instead, a twisted admiration crawled up his spine. this was your game, and he was only too willing to play.

his eyes roamed over the grainy image as you finally appeared on the screen, your figure unmistakable even through the static. you stepped into view, your dress clinging to your body like it was made for you, and jaehyun’s breath hitched again, the scent of your perfume still assaulting his senses. his hand, almost unconsciously, moved to his lap, the tension in his body easing slightly as he spread his legs wider, trying to alleviate the growing ache. but you weren’t alone.

his teeth grazed his bottom lip as he watched, every muscle in his body going rigid as a man stepped into the frame behind you. tall, unfamiliar, hands that gripped you too familiarly, lips that ghosted over the curve of your neck with an urgency that made jaehyun’s skin prickle. the man’s mouth moved against your skin, bruising and licking, leaving marks that jaehyun knew too well—the kind that staked a claim. his pulse quickened, his body reacting before his mind could catch up, a satisfied hiss slipping from his lips. he hated it, the way he was drawn to the sight of you with someone else. hated the way his body responded, the way his fingers twitched to touch the screen, to feel connected to something—anything—that involved you.

dd it feel the same? did the man know what you liked, the way jaehyun did? the way your breath caught when lips hovered over your collarbone, the way your back arched when fingers tangled in your hair. the possessiveness that burned in his chest was primal, instinctual. you were his, even if the world around him screamed otherwise. and then, just for a second—a fleeting moment that almost slipped past him—you paused. your head tilted, and your eyes, dark and knowing, flicked upward. they locked onto the camera. jaehyun’s breath hitched. you knew.

for a moment too long, your gaze didn’t waver. that smirk—the one he had memorized, the one that had undone him more times than he cared to count—curled at the edges of your lips. you weren’t just aware of him. you were showing him. every movement was deliberate, every arch of your neck as the man kissed your skin, every glance toward the lens, every shift in your posture. it was all for him. the realization hit him with the force of a train. this wasn’t about the man with you. he was just a prop, a tool in your hands to provoke the reaction you wanted.

jaehyun exhaled slowly, the tension in his body turning into something else—something deeper, darker. his lips parted, and he muttered under his breath, barely above a whisper, “that’s my girl.” the words felt raw, scraping against his throat, filled with a kind of pride that he hadn’t realized he still held. you knew him too well. better than anyone. you played him like an instrument, each note of your performance calculated to draw out exactly what you wanted from him. and he couldn’t help but admire it, as twisted as it was.

he leaned back in the chair, legs still spread wide, his hand dragging down his face as he let out a slow, steadying breath. his eyes never left the screen, watching as the man pulled you closer, his hands disappearing into your hair, mouth claiming yours in a kiss that should have made jaehyun see red. but he didn’t. he couldn’t. because in that moment, he knew it didn’t matter. none of them mattered.

the way the man touched you, the way he kissed you, it would never come close to the way jaehyun did. he knew you in ways that no one else ever could. you might share your body with someone else, but your mind, your games—they were all his. you left breadcrumbs, and he followed them willingly, drawn into the labyrinth you’d created. another smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he watched you, his girl, wrapped in another man’s arms, knowing full well you’d never belong to anyone else but him. he would let you play your game, let you dance with whoever you wanted, but in the end, it would always come back to the two of you.

he adjusted his seat, the sick heat of satisfaction settling deep within him. he couldn’t look away from the screen, even if he wanted to. and why would he? you were performing for him, after all. “knows me so well,” he murmured again, his voice a low, reverent sigh as he let his hand drop to his side. his eyes darkened, pupils dilating as he watched you, watched the man touch you, watched you steal glances at the camera. always for him.

the apartment was quiet again, but this time the silence was different—thicker, charged, as if the air itself was holding its breath. you felt it in the way your pulse raced beneath your skin, in the subtle tremor in your fingers as you stood in the middle of the room. he wasn’t far behind. you could hear him, the soft sound of his footsteps growing louder, closer, until the door clicked open behind you. you didn’t turn around. you didn’t need to. you could feel him watching you, his gaze heavy and possessive, the tension between you winding tighter with every passing second.

jaehyun didn’t say a word as he moved closer, the heat of his body pressing against your back. his hands slid around your waist, fingers grazing your hips before traveling upward, the soft fabric of your dress bunching under his touch. his lips found the side of your neck, the same spot where the man’s had been just hours earlier, but jaehyun’s kiss was rougher, more demanding. he bit down lightly, eliciting a sharp gasp from your lips, and you could feel him smirk against your skin.

“you must’ve seen us, yeah?” your voice was breathless, words slipping out between shallow pants as his hands tightened around your waist, pulling you flush against him. he answered with a low, guttural groan, the sound vibrating against your neck as his mouth moved lower, assaulting your skin with hot, open-mouthed kisses. his breath was ragged, uneven, and you felt the hardness of him pressing against the back of your thighs through his boxers, straining against the fabric. the memory of what he had seen—of you with another man—was still fresh in his mind, fueling every touch, every kiss.

jaehyun’s hand slipped under your dress, fingers trailing down to your panties, and without hesitation, he pushed them aside, his fingers finding the wet heat between your legs. his thumb brushed over your clit, slow at first, teasing, before he began to rub in tight circles, his pace quickening as he leaned into your ear. “every bit of it,” he murmured, his voice low and rough, sending a shiver down your spine. “you gave it to him real good, baby.”

a smirk tugged at your lips as you twisted your fingers into his hair, yanking his head back just enough to force him to look at you. his lips were swollen, glistening with spit, and his eyes—those dark, dangerous eyes—were filled with lust and something darker, something unhinged. you’d always loved that look, the way it made your heart pound, the way it made your core ache for him.

without warning, you slapped him hard across the face, the sharp crack of skin against skin reverberating through the room. the force of it left his cheek red, and the sting of your palm lingered in the air. jaehyun’s lips parted in a shocked gasp, his pupils blown wide as the lust in his eyes deepened into something feral. his hand flexed at your waist, and for a moment, you thought he might lose control completely. instead, he groaned, a low, broken sound that made your stomach clench, and you could feel his cock twitch against you, his boxers impossibly tight. “almost like you expected less of me,” you purred, your voice dripping with satisfaction as you traced the red mark on his cheek, watching the way his breath hitched at your touch. you could feel the power shift between you, feel the way his body reacted to your every word, your every movement.

he didn’t respond with words. instead, his hands moved to your shoulders, shoving you back onto the bed with enough force to make the mattress creak. you let out a sharp moan as your body hit the sheets, your back arching as jaehyun climbed on top of you, his weight pressing you down. he grabbed your wrists, pinning them above your head as his lips trailed down the curve of your neck, past your collarbone, before they found their way to your breasts.

he groaned as his mouth latched onto one of your nipples, sucking hard, his tongue swirling over the sensitive bud. his other hand cupped your breast, squeezing, kneading, as if he couldn’t get enough of them. “love these so much,” he murmured against your skin, his voice muffled by the fullness of your breast in his mouth. “the other girls, they don’t have ones like this.”

your breath hitched, the praise sending a wave of heat through your body, making your knees weak. but before you could process it, jaehyun released your wrists and leaned up, his hand moving with brutal swiftness as it collided with your cheek in a stinging slap that made your head snap to the side. the sharp pain bloomed across your skin, and instead of recoiling, you moaned, the sound desperate and raw, your body arching toward him in a way that begged for more. “i don’t get to play with them like this,” he smirked, his thumb brushing over your reddened cheek before trailing back down to your chest, his hands claiming your breasts again as if they belonged to him.

your thighs clenched around his waist, hips bucking up against him, desperate for friction, for relief from the ache that had been building inside you from the moment he touched you. his name slipped from your lips in a breathless whisper, a plea that made his smirk widen as he pressed his body down against yours, his erection rubbing against your bare thigh through his boxers. he leaned down, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss, his tongue sliding against yours with a hunger that felt primal, unhinged. the kiss was messy, spit slicking your lips as his hands moved down your body, fingers curling around the waistband of your panties before he yanked them off in one rough motion. his fingers returned to your core, probing and rubbing, and every touch was calculated to make you squirm, to elicit the moans he’d missed on camera.

you broke the kiss to gasp for air, your head tipping back as he slid two fingers inside of you, curling them just right, hitting the spot that made you see stars. your legs trembled around him, every nerve in your body lit up with need as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, his thumb pressing against your clit in time with each thrust.

“god, jae,” you gasped, your fingers gripping his hair, tugging hard enough to make him groan. He loved when you pulled his hair, loved the sting of pain mixed with pleasure. “yeah,” he grunted, his voice low and ragged as he looked up at you, his fingers never slowing. “you like it when i watch, don’t you? see how desperate you are for them.”

you smirked, your body arching off the bed, chasing the pleasure. “i like it when you can’t stop yourself,” you breathed, your voice thick with desire. “when you’re so addicted to me, you can’t even think straight.” his eyes darkened, the intensity of his gaze sending a shiver through you as he pulled his fingers from you, leaving you empty and aching. in one swift motion, he shoved his boxers down, his erection springing free, hard and desperate for you. he didn’t hesitate, grabbing your hips and yanking you down the bed before positioning himself between your legs.

he hovered above you for a moment, eyes locked onto yours, the air thick with tension, before he thrust into you, filling you in one hard stroke that knocked the breath from your lungs. you cried out, nails digging into his shoulders as your body adjusted to the sudden fullness, the burn of the stretch only intensifying the pleasure. he groaned, his head falling to your shoulder as he set a brutal pace, his hips slamming into yours with a desperation that bordered on madness. the room was filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, of his ragged breaths and your breathless moans, of the bed creaking under the force of his thrusts.

he buried his face in your neck, biting down hard enough to bruise as he fucked you with reckless abandon, his body shaking with the force of it. you clung to him, your legs wrapped around his waist, your body moving in perfect sync with his, lost in the intensity of the moment, lost in the feeling of him inside of you. jaehyun’s hands moved down to your chest, gripping your breasts with a hunger that made your breath hitch. his fingers dug into the soft flesh, squeezing, kneading, his eyes glued to the way they moved with each hard thrust of his hips. he was obsessed, completely entranced, as if he couldn’t get enough of the way they filled his hands, the way your nipples stood hard and ready for him.

his mouth descended on one of them, his lips hot and wet as he sucked greedily, swirling his tongue around your sensitive nipple before biting down gently, just enough to send a sharp jolt of pleasure through your body. you moaned, your back arching off the bed as his teeth grazed your skin, leaving a red mark in his wake. he groaned against your breast, his hand moving to cup the other one, his thumb flicking over your nipple, sending shockwaves of pleasure straight to your core.

“fuck, i love these,” he repeated between kisses, his voice thick with lust, muffled by your skin as he continued to lavish attention on your chest. “they’re so fucking perfect, baby. none of the others—” he paused, his teeth grazing your nipple again, harder this time. “—none of the other girls have tits like this.” you smirked at his words, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you threaded your fingers through his hair, yanking him up to meet your gaze. his lips were wet, spit running down his chin, his eyes wild with need, the dark desire in them so potent it made your stomach flip.

“good,” you panted, your voice breathless but teasing, “because they don’t deserve them.” his cock twitched inside you at that, and you knew you had him. he liked when you reminded him, when you made him see that no matter who he was with, no matter what he did, you were the one he couldn’t let go of. you were the one who owned him.

you ran your hands down his chest, your nails scratching lightly against his skin, leaving faint red lines in their wake. he groaned at the sensation, his hips stuttering slightly as he thrust into you harder, deeper, chasing the release he knew he’d only find with you. “i saw you, you know,” you whispered, your voice thick with a twisted kind of admiration. “you fucked her so well, jae. i was impressed.”

his breath hitched at your praise, and you could feel the way his body responded to your words, the way his cock swelled inside you, twitching with need. his grip on your breasts tightened, his hips slamming into yours with renewed force as if he was trying to prove something, trying to show you that no matter who he fucked, it was you that he belonged to. “yeah?” he groaned, his voice low and rough as he leaned down, his mouth hovering over yours. “you liked watching me fuck her?”

you moaned in response, your legs tightening around his waist as you lifted your hips to meet his thrusts. “yeah,” you breathed, your lips brushing against his, teasing him. “but you know what i like even more?” he growled, his hand slipping from your chest to your throat, his fingers wrapping around your neck as he pressed his lips to your ear. “what?”

“i like knowing that no matter how good it was, no matter how hard you fucked her, you always come back to me,” you whispered, your voice dripping with confidence, with satisfaction. he groaned at your words, his hand tightening around your throat just enough to make your breath catch. “fuck, baby,” he muttered, his voice thick with desire. “you’re the only one. no one else feels like this.”

he leaned down, his mouth crashing against yours in a bruising kiss, his tongue sliding against yours in a wet, messy tangle of spit and need. you could taste him—taste the desperation, the hunger that only you could satisfy. his lips were swollen, raw, and you kissed him harder, your fingers digging into his hair, pulling him closer. he pulled back slightly, his breath hot against your lips as he looked down at you, his eyes dark and filled with a primal kind of lust. “you like it when i fuck them, huh?” he babbled through a haze of lust, his hips slamming into yours again, his pace relentless. “you like knowing that no matter how good they are, they’ll never be you.”

you moaned in response, your nails digging into his back as your body trembled beneath him. “yes,” you panted, your voice barely more than a whisper, “because they’ll never be enough for you.” jaehyun’s hand moved from your throat to your breast again, squeezing it roughly as he leaned down, his lips trailing down your neck to your chest. he sucked on your nipple, his tongue swirling around it before pulling it between his teeth and biting down, hard enough to make you cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure.

“god, i love these tits,” he groaned, his voice muffled by your skin. “could fuck them all day.” your legs trembled, the intensity of his words and the roughness of his touch pushing you closer to the edge. you could feel the coil of pleasure tightening in your stomach, ready to snap at any moment. “then do it,” you teased, your voice breathless as you arched into him. “fuck me like you fuck them, jaehyun. show me.”

his eyes flashed with something dark and devious, and without warning, he pulled out of you, leaving you empty and aching. you barely had time to protest before he grabbed your hips, flipping you onto your stomach with a rough shove. you moaned as your body hit the mattress, your hands gripping the sheets as he positioned himself behind you. he didn’t waste time. his hands gripped your ass, spreading you open as he thrust into you from behind, the force of it making you cry out, your body jolting forward with each hard thrust. the angle was different, deeper, and you could feel every inch of him as he slammed into you, his cock hitting the spot that made you see stars.

his hand came down on your ass with a sharp slap, the sting of it sending a wave of pleasure through your body. “fuck,” you gasped, your voice muffled by the pillow as your hips bucked back against him. “harder.” he growled, his fingers digging into your hips as he fucked you harder, faster, the sound of his skin slapping against yours filling the room. “you really love this, don’t you?” he grunted, his voice low and rough. “love knowing i fuck them, but i come back to you.”

you moaned, your body trembling with pleasure as you nodded, your words coming out in broken gasps. “yes, yes, i love it.” his hand came down on your ass again, harder this time, and you cried out, the sting of it mixing with the overwhelming pleasure building inside you. “good,” he muttered, his voice thick with lust. “because this is the one thing i get to do that they can’t.”

with that, he thrust into you one last time, his body tensing as he buried himself deep inside you, his cock pulsing as he came, filling you with hot, sticky heat. you moaned at the feeling of him cumming inside you, the sensation sending you over the edge as your own orgasm ripped through you, your body convulsing with pleasure. jaehyun collapsed on top of you, his chest heaving as he pressed soft kisses to the back of your neck, his hands still gripping your hips tightly. “this,” he murmured against your skin, his voice soft but possessive, “this is mine.”

✧

a/n: i do NOT condone cheating yall

The Pull of You

Brace yourselves, guys – this shit’s heavy. I wrote this during a moment of depression, so expect heavy themes here. 

This piece is connected to Conflicted, so if you want to know what happens after that, then click that link below.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: The aftermath of Essie’s affair with Jaehyun complicates her dynamic with her house mates, most especially her boyfriend Johnny. That’s already a given, but how do they resolve this? Or will they ever do? 

POV: 3rd person. 

Word count: 3,000 + words 

Warning: Aside from the drama and angst this piece exudes, there is also a mention of cutting here. Please don’t do it, kids. Don’t be like who’s still trying to recover from it. And of course, smoking again if you’re sensitive to it. 

Recommended listening: If you concluded that I’ll recommend The National here, then you are correct. I listened to ‘The Pull of You’ and ‘You Have Your Soul With You’ repeatedly while writing this. Lyrics from the song are in bold and italic. 

–––

The affair ruined her. Essie slowly descended into madness, her conscience guilty, and her thoughts spiraling out of control with a million thoughts.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t afford to see Jaehyun behind Johnny’s back. It lasted for a week, and she had to tell her lover that she had to end this.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can continue this anymore,” she sobbed, “I want to love you both, but I can only love one of you. I should only love one of you.”

“I know, mon amour. I understand,” was Jaehyun’s reply as he rubbed her back. “I know this wasn’t meant to last long, I know that you love him more than me.”

“I’m so sorry, Jay. I really am. Maybe in another lifetime, we could’ve been,” she sobbed even harder this time.

Jaehyun spent the whole afternoon comforting her and gave her his last kiss before they went their separate ways. “I have no regrets, I am happy that we became together for a moment,” he whispered.

Essie didn’t reply, she was already a mess that couldn’t be fixed.

\\\

In the next few weeks, Johnny noticed that his girlfriend wasn’t acting her usual self. She didn’t talk to him that much and was always holed up in her room.

Although he did his best to be the most caring and patient boyfriend a girl could ever have, Essie wasn’t responding to any of his sweet gestures. He hadn’t heard her speak more than a few words. She didn’t even greet him or say thanks.

As much as he wanted to confront her, he knew that he couldn’t handle the sight of her crumbling in front of him. He let her be for the moment, hoping for the day that she will be back to her usual jolly self.

However, he felt hurt when he saw her conversing with Mark. She looked fine as he saw them talking in her bedroom, as there was a small space open in her door that he could peek through. The younger guy was listening intently to her story, and he observed how she was more animated compared to the past few weeks.

When Johnny saw Mark emerge out of Essie’s bedroom, he wasn’t able to ask his other housemate what he was doing there. Mark walked away with his head bowed, as if he was avoiding any conversation with his hyung. This left Johnny standing on the hallway with his mouth agape, his eyes fixated on the closed door of his girlfriend’s room.

What could have he done to deserve this?

\\\

Mark felt conflicted about the stories that his dear Essie noona told him. He wasn’t sure if he was the right person to listen to this kind of story, but he had to now that she and her boyfriend weren’t on speaking terms lately.

Essie told Mark of her affair with Jaehyun. It only lasted for a week, but she felt horrible that she was able to do it. She never expected that she would end up like her father. She should not tolerate cheating since that was what tore her family apart.

“I love them both, Mark,” she wiped a tear from her eye, “but I don’t know how I can tell John about this. I don’t know what to do if he leaves me. And I don’t know if I can pursue a relationship with Jaehyun further now.”

He just held her hand and squeezed it, not knowing what to say. “I’m sorry if I told you this, but I needed someone to talk to. This might be a lot for you to process, but what do you think I should do?”

When he saw how wrecked she looked, his heart ached. “I…I don’t know. I really don’t know,” were the only words he said before Essie cried for the hundredth time that week.

\\\

Essie didn’t come out of her room the whole day. That worried Johnny because even if they weren’t on speaking terms, she still slipped out of her room to eat (lately it’s only once a day) or use the bathroom.

It was already late in the evening, and the itch to confront her resurfaced. He took a deep breath and walked toward the landing where his keys were. He had the key to all of the rooms, hers included. It was time to take action.

He opened the door to her room and saw her bundled in her comforter. He almost dropped his phone when he noticed that there were bloodstains on it.

He rushed to her side and saw that the blood came from her wrists. They were still bleeding. He extracted a pair of scissors on her bed and threw it away. She had hurt herself.

“Maaaaark!” He shouted, trying not to let panic get to him. “Mark Lee, come here immediately, please!”

The younger guy peeked into Essie’s room and was shocked to see the bloodied comforter. “I’ll call 911,” he said, immediately fishing his phone out of his pocket to call the hotline.

Johnny unwrapped Essie from her beddings and examined the wounds she created. They were a bit fresh, and they still bled. He noticed that she wasn’t breathing regularly anymore.

He was crying throughout the ordeal – the medical staff had to calm him down, and Mark had to step up to take care of the situation.

He didn’t know why Essie ended up like this. She wasn’t talking to him for weeks. He gave her space, and he tried his best not to be mad at her. He was a kind, understanding, and caring partner. But she was being selfish, and it broke his heart day by day.

Now, he might lose her because he wasn’t strong enough to break her walls.

Is this how I lose it? Everything at once?

\\\

Essie’s thoughts continued to consume her.

I don’t deserve to be loved.

I have been a bad partner.

I have become like my father.

I am a whore, a slut, a bitch, or any derogatory names you could call me.

I am not worthy of Johnny’s love, nor Jaehyun’s.

I am the most selfish person on this planet.

I deserve to die.

She had no energy to get out of bed or even eat properly. She only had one meal a day, the portions becoming smaller each day. The last thing she ate was a single cracker.

As she buried herself deeper into her sheets, the desire to cut returned. Wordlessly, she got up from the bed and grabbed the nearest scissors she could find.

She shut her eyes and dragged it across her wrist first to see if it was sharp enough. She saw thin lines etched onto her skin, with one of them oozing a prick of blood.

She tried again, this time harder and slower. She let out a small grunt as she felt the metal digging into her skin. She felt the blood gush out, which was both a painful yet wonderful experience. She did it again to her other wrist albeit shakily, for the blood was making her lose her control.

They were thick gashes on each wrist, and she gave a faint smile at her work.

I wish all these thoughts would stop now, she thought as she closed her eyes. She felt faint, which she hoped would lead to her losing her conscience until she never gets it back.

\\\

When Essie opened her eyes, she was at the hospital. It was a sight she never thought she’d see or experience. There were bandages on her wrists, and she felt a twinge of pain when she tried to move her hands.

“You’re awake,” a voice beside her croaked. It was Johnny, who looked worse for wear. She tried to say anything, but her mouth was too dry. She settled on looking at him instead, observing the dark bags under his eyes and his messy hair.

“Do you need anything?” She shook her head. “Water?” Another shake. “Come on, baby, please,” he said, on the verge of tears.

She could only stare at him, her mind still processing everything that happened for the past few weeks.

“Why won’t you talk to me still? What did I do? I want to know if I hurt you in any way, so I know how I could make it up to you,” he started, tears falling from his eyes.

“You’ve been talking to Mark, but not me. Are you hiding something from me?”

Those words made her heart pound loudly against her chest, and she tried not to break from her poker face.

“Baby, whatever it is, please. Let me know. I’ll understand. Whatever you did, I’ll forgive you. Just talk to me.”

Still, Essie would not budge. She just stared at him crying, unable to say anything for fear of him breaking further than her.

I cheated, John. With your best friend. I’m sorry.

A tear slipped from her eye, which Johnny didn’t notice as he continued to weep in front of her.

There was a knock on the door, but that didn’t stop him from crying. The door creaked open, revealing Mark in his trademark baseball cap.

He was about to say anything but noticed that his hyung was close to bawling.

“I guess I’ll be back later,” he mumbled, about to close the door. That was when Essie found her voice back, even if it was hoarser than usual. “Mark,” she started, “please stay.”

The younger guy was surprised at this, and he re-entered the room. Johnny’s eyes widened that his girlfriend wanted to talk to his other roommate instead of him.

“Sorry, Johnny hyung, but can you excuse us for a second?” Mark whispered, still not making eye contact with him.

“I can’t believe this,” Johnny muttered, glaring at his housemates for a second before storming out of the room.

He went out of the hospital to calm himself down, and for the first time in ages, he lighted a stick.

\\\

Everything came back to her once she started speaking to Mark. The younger guy updated her on what happened, and he saw how her face was coming back to life with various expressions. Her eyebrows knitted, her mouth frowned, and her eyes expressed the most emotion of them all.

“Mark, I still don’t know what to do. I can’t talk to him, not like this,” she murmured, looking at her bandaged wrists.

“You have to now, Essie noona. Please. It’s breaking him too. If you don’t want him to leave, you have to do it,” he said, softly tapping her arm.

She cried again, and Mark took this opportunity to excuse himself and find Johnny so the lovers could finally talk.

\\\

It took Mark an hour to find his hyung. He tried calling, but he wouldn’t answer. He had to resort to calling their other friends. Eventually, he found him through Yuta. “He’s at that coffee house with the nice smoking area,” the Japanese guy said before he hung up.

It was the place that he went to with his girlfriend. Mark knew that Essie smoked, but she was trying to cut it down. He didn’t know if she had quit, but that didn’t matter now.

As he went to the smoking area, he saw Johnny blowing a smoke ring. “Johnny hyung,” he approached the guy carefully, afraid that he might hurt him due to what he witnessed earlier.

“Mark,” the older guy said harshly and even blew smoke at his face. “What brings you here?”

“I’m taking you back to the hospital. She needs you now,” he took a seat beside him and twiddled his thumbs out of nervousness.

“What makes you think she needs me? She only talks to you now! Tell me,” Johnny said as he put out the cigarette, “are you two in a secret relationship?”

Mark shook his head vigorously. “No, hyung. She already made her choice when she decided to be in a relationship with you. I will never do that to you, to her, or anyone.” His voice was firm.

“Then, why is she talking only to you? I’m always here for her. Mark, please tell me, what’s wrong? Why isn’t she talking to me?” The older guy was in tears again, his sadness and frustration about the situation coming up again.

“It’d be best that she explain it, to be honest. I don’t even know what to say,” Mark rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Please, Johnny hyung. Have a bit more patience. She’ll talk.”

“I’m doing the best that I could, Mark Lee. I hope I still have some patience in me left,” were Johnny’s last words before he went back to the hospital.

\\\

“Baby, you said you needed to talk to me?”

The six-footer was now seated beside his love, who looked more alive than he saw her earlier. She nodded, opening her palm and moving it toward his direction.

He took this as a cue to hold her hand, which he did. He was gentle in picking it up, slowly slipping in his fingers in between hers.

“Can you tell me why you hurt yourself? Can you tell me everything why you haven’t been talking to me in ages?” His voice cracked as he asked.

“I…I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I really am. I am truly, deeply sorry.”

“I know it’s easy to say I forgive you, but I don’t know if I can accept it just yet. You really hurt me,” Johnny’s grip tightened. “But I know you still have a lot to explain. Can you start?”

She looked at him with teary eyes, slowly untangling her hand from him. She didn’t know where to start. She didn’t know if she could say what she has practiced in her mind while she was waiting for him to return.

I had only one thing to do and I couldn’t do it yet.

///

It took some time for Essie and Johnny to repair their relationship. She wasn’t able to tell him what she really wanted to say when she was at the hospital. They just held hands and cried.

Once she was discharged, Johnny was hands-on in taking care of her. He didn’t leave her alone – he accompanied her to the bathroom, he slept beside her, and he was there for her when she had to go out of the house.

In one instance, they had to return to the hospital for a follow-up check-up and an appointment with the psychiatrist. They held hands as they went to the car silently. Essie didn’t talk that much, and if she did, she only gave single statements.

Johnny’s patience was wearing thin, but he prayed that the Lord give him more. He didn’t want to lose the love of his life, even if she still hasn’t told him everything yet.

From all the things that she said, he only knew that she was apologetic for everything.

Something's leaving me behind

It's just a feeling in my mind

\\\

It was during their ride to the hospital that Essie finally cracked.

“I’m sorry that I broke your heart,” she wept, looking away from him.

It had started raining outside, and they were stuck in traffic.

“I already forgive you for that,” he squeezed her hand. “Stop apologizing so much. I got it.” He bent forward to look at her face in the car window and saw that her eyes were red and puffy.

“It’s more than what you think, John. I really am sorry.”

He let go of her clammy hand and placed it on the steering wheel. Could it be?

A moment of awkward silence enveloped the car. They weren’t listening to any of their playlists lately. Music took a backseat in their lives as Johnny was intent to fix things with Essie.

“Who did you do it with?” His tone was serious, making the hairs on the back of Essie’s neck stand up.

“Jay,” she whispered as she sat up straight. “It was Jay.” She repeated with certainty.

“Jeong Jaehyun,” Johnny growled his best friend’s name. It made sense to him now. No wonder he wasn’t talking to him despite leaving multiple voice calls and private messages. “How dare he do this to me? But how could you too, Essie?” The instant change of tone of his voice made her heart ache.

It was one of the most painful things that she heard him say, along with the pleas that he said when she was at the hospital.

“I’m really sorry, John. There are no excuses for what I did. I gave in to temptation when I could’ve avoided it…” Essie’s voice cracked at each word she said, and she was in tears again.

“How long did it last?” Johnny’s question cut through her like a knife. He wasn’t dilly-dallying around.

“For a week. I couldn’t take it anymore…” She distracted herself by studying her hands since she didn’t want to cry all day. She knew she would cry more during her appointment with the psychiatrist.

“Essie…” He breathed, his eyes intent on the traffic sign. It was still red, and he was wishing that it would change to green.

“I’m sorry, Johnny. My sincerest apologies. I am remorseful for what I did. Please forgive me more for what I have done,” she said, taking a glance at his face.

Even if it pained her to see his reaction, she had to know how he felt.

He had an inscrutable expression as he continued to drive. Of course, it hurt him that his best friends cheated on him. Jeong Jaehyun, a man he considered his brother, had an affair with the woman he wanted to marry and have a family with.

He had to right to be angry about this. But he didn’t feel it right now. Instead, he felt defeated. Deflated. Depressed.

His love for Essie was too much that he wanted her to get better soon so they could fix their lives together.

Processing anger can take a toll on someone, and he didn’t want to feel that just yet. He would get angry later on. That could wait.

He took a look at Essie, who has now fallen asleep. He gave her a small smile before focusing his attention back on the road.

We're connected by a thread

If we ever get far apart

I'll still feel the pull of you

–––

FIN

P.S. I hope you didn’t make a drinking game out of all the times I mentioned hyung here!

Wicked Games

In other words, it is the start of something sinful. Say what? If you’ve been following along, then you might have an idea of what this post will be about. 

As a clue, here’s Jaehyun radiating boyfriend vibes for you. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: This marks the first official day of Essie and Jaehyun’s affair. Need I say more? 

POV: 2nd person still. Do you guys like this POV better or a 3rd one? I suddenly got curious about your opinion. Please let me know! 

Word count: 1,100 + words

Warning: This is a cheating story, so expect some loose morals here. 

Recommended listening: The song mentioned shares the same title as this piece. However, I prefer Coeur de Pirate’s cover because it sounds more tragic than the original one by The Weeknd. 

–––

Although you loved hanging out with Johnny to listen to different kinds of music, it was a whole new different experience with Jaehyun.

This was the first official day of your tryst with him, and you saw him before you headed home from work. He picked you up a few blocks away from your office, and he took you to his apartment, which he shared with Taeyong.

Since his roommate was out of the country with Mark, he had the place all to himself. It was the perfect opportunity to have a rendezvous, and he even made some preparations.

Once you opened the door to his house, there were fairy lights stringed almost everywhere and soft music was playing. There was a wine bottle on the coffee table, along with two glasses.

“Wow, this is so romantic,” you whispered, looking around his place. You love the industrial-meets-farmhouse look of their home – red brick walls always get you.

As you brushed your fingers against the brick’s texture, he took out some food from the fridge. Upon closer inspection, they were random cheeses and cold cuts.

“That’s so classy of you, Jay,” you said, hovering over his figure as he sliced some brie on a wooden platter. “Treating a girl to some wine and cheese with good music playing in the background? What else are we going to do?”

“Let’s see if we go beyond that, shall we?” He purred, winking at you as he started slicing some gorgonzola.

You helped him prepare the cheese and cold cuts platter, which he appreciated. “I don’t know what cheese and cold cuts you want to eat, so I bought a lot at the grocery the other day,” he admitted, flashing you his trademark boyish grin.

“That’s thoughtful of you, darling. Thank you for considering what I’d like,” you said, squeezing his hand after you were done slicing the last slab of cheese.

“Of course, anything for my darling Essie,” he replied, taking your other hand and holding it.

That line sounded familiar – Johnny tells you that a lot whenever you thanked him.

You let go of his hand abruptly and looked at the ground. You felt ashamed that you remembered your boyfriend at this time.

“Essie, what’s wrong?” Jaehyun took your hands again, with one of them tilting your chin to look at him.

When he saw that you looked distressed, he kissed your forehead. “Tell me what’s bothering you,” he whispered, his lips tickling your ears.

“I remember him,” you said softly, intertwining your hands with his. “And I’m sorry about that.”

He remained silent, but he didn’t let go of you. You observed him from the corner of your eye and saw that he was deep breathing. You were silently counting how many he would do – he lasted until five – and then he spoke up.

“I know what we’re doing is bad, darling,” he started, looking at your eyes, “but I also want to be with you.”

His piercing stare made your heart skip a beat, and maybe it made you a bit wet. “I want you to forget about him when you’re with me,” he continued, now placing his hands on your waist.

“Make me,” you challenged him as a haughty smirk graced your features. “I dare you to make me forget about him,” you repeated with conviction.

“Oh yes, I will,” he said, pulling you closer to him. “My name will be the only one you’ll be speaking of.” With that, he crashed his lips on yours, and you reciprocated with the same passion.

\\\

After making out at the kitchen, you and Jaehyun went to the couch. You ate, drank, and talked about everything. You were amused to see his different facial expressions – you were so used to him looking serious.

He laughed at your jokes, he made cute faces when you teased him, and he gave you the sexiest stare that you ever saw in your life.

But of course, your favorite part of hanging out with him was the music. It was one of the things you were passionate about, and you loved hearing his thoughts on it.

At that moment, you forgot you were someone else’s. All that mattered was that Jeong Jaehyun was cuddling with you on the couch, his hand stroking your thigh. Your arms were looped around his neck and from time to time, you kissed him on his neck, his jaw, and eventually, his lips.

He was enjoying the attention you were giving him, and he did his best to please you. He stroked your hair, he rubbed your back affectionately, and he kissed you on the lips repeatedly.

Coeur de Pirate’s cover of ‘Wicked Games’ was playing in the background when your kisses intensified. Tongues clashed against each other, and your hands roamed all over your bodies.

Just tell me you love me

I’ll give you what I need, I’ll give you all you need

Even though you don’t love me

The song hit close to Jaehyun. He knew that you were with Johnny, but he still wanted to take a chance with you. Without any warning, he carried you to his bedroom.

You didn’t say anything. You already knew where this was heading. You accepted that trysts like this will end with you two fucking.

As he laid you on the bed, you saw in his eyes that he was asking for permission. “Yes darling, do it,” you murmured. Within seconds, both of your clothes were discarded, and everything became a blur in your mind.

\\\

It was already late in the evening when you were done. You weren’t able to text Johnny where you were. Having sex with Jaehyun was amazing – he really knew how to please.

You walked naked back to the couch and looked at your phone. There were 10 missed calls and 5 text messages from Johnny.

You replied to his latest message – Baby, I’m worried where are you please answer me – with Sorry, I was busy with work. I’ll come home late. Sorry, I worried you and hit send.

“He’s looking for you,” Jaehyun surprised you when you saw him at the kitchen doorway, only wearing a pair of track pants. “He also texted me.”

You noted that he sounded disappointed, but he knew that he couldn’t do anything. “I know. I guess this wraps up our rendezvous for today,” you said, grabbing a pillow on the couch to cover your body.

“And I hope we see each other tomorrow again,” were the last words both of you said before you left his apartment.

–––

FIN

Snippets from an Affair

The title already told you what you need to know, so before you continue, here’s Jaehyun for you to look at in that iconic suit he wore in the ‘Kick It’ MV. 

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 

CHAROT! Anyway, you know the drill:

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Take a glimpse of Essie and Jaehyun’s affair from the second day until the fifth. I’m not sure if I’ll consider these as completely canon, but I might write a mini-series on their rendezvous soon. 

POV: 2nd person again.

Word count: 1,300 + words

Warning: Baby’s revealing her first smut, and then another. Well, sort of. But there’s smut here, so you can skip that if you’re uncomfortable. 

Recommended listening: I mentioned two songs: The Internet’s ‘Give It Time’ and The Beatles’ ‘And I Love Her’. I think both will be Jaehyun-approved too! 

–––

When insomnia hits you, Jaehyun was one of the people you always called. You were all alone in the apartment, and you needed someone to talk to.

Good thing that your now-lover was there to keep you company since your boyfriend was out of town for a gig. Mark was abroad with Taeyong for a special project, leaving Jaehyun all by himself in his apartment as well.

It was the second day of your affair, and he decided to drive around the area after picking you up in your area. While one of his hands was on the steering wheel, the other held your hand. You chatted about everything as he drove, your eyes moving from him to the scenery outside.

Late-night drives made you feel warm despite the freezing air conditioning inside the car. You wished you could always do this with him, but you know that you couldn’t afford this with your situation.

“Darling, look. There’s a new café open there,” he pointed at a small but brightly-lit shop at the corner of a new building. “Want to try their offerings?”

You squeezed his hand in affirmation, which he stroked to mean that he got your message. As he parked the car nearby, he noticed that you kept on wrapping your arms around yourself. After all, you just wore a thin long-sleeved shirt and a mini skirt.

“Essie, take this,” he said softly, removing the hoodie that he wore. You took it wordlessly and slipped it on. “It looks good on you,” he commented, stroking the material of his jacket that seemed a bit baggy on you.

“Thanks for letting me borrow your hoodie, mon amour,” you said, tugging at the strings at the neck of his jacket. “I wasn’t prepared for a late-night drive like this.”

“Well, you should next time. And I don’t mind you wearing my jacket.” He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a hug, which you reciprocated.

You didn’t mind that you hugged in the middle of the street at 3 in the morning. You stayed in that position for a bit until you felt him shuffling. You saw that he got his phone out of his jeans pocket and took a photo of you in an intimate position.

“Must you always take a picture every time?” You asked, amused at his boldness to take a picture of you together.

“Yes, mon amour,” he said, smiling. “Hey, I like the sound of that. I’ll call you that from now on.” He led you inside the new café wherein you were the only customers they had.

\\\

You never expected that your tryst with Jaehyun will turn out like this on the third day.

Playing in the background was The Internet’s ‘Give It Time’ as he planted kisses all over your body. You were in a swanky hotel room, and he had already stripped you down to your underwear. You wore your best lingerie as he took you out to a fancy dinner after work. He wore a suit and bow tie, while you wore a red dress with a high slit. It drove him crazy, and you felt his hands caressing your thigh throughout the dinner.

Now that you were back in your room, he went loose. Although he was already whispering the dirty things he’ll do to you in the elevator, nothing could compare to the beast he unleashed as he threw you on the bed and undressed you within seconds.

“I want to do you so bad, darling,” he moaned as he caressed your breasts. “Please,” you mouthed, your hands playing with the collar of his shirt. “May I?”

When you heard him say yes, you were quick to unbutton his shirt and his jacket. “I want to leave this on,” you purred as you tightened the bow tie on his neck. He let out a strangled cry when you tightened it a bit too much, making you bite your lip in excitement.

You unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, leaving him only in his boxer briefs. His bulge grew bigger when you used your teeth in pulling down his underwear, eliciting a loud moan from him. “Darling, be careful,” he hissed, berating you for using your teeth.

After all, the first time you did this, he was hurt when you grazed your teeth on his member. But you always thought that was sexy and decided to try again.

“Sorry, but I can’t help it.” You were on your knees, and you licked the tip of his member gently. He seemed to enjoy it until he grabbed your hair forcefully and pushed your head closer to his dick.

“Don’t be a tease, and take it all in,” he grunted, moving your head as you tried not to gag. He was getting bigger in your mouth, and you closed your eyes to relish the moment.

As the rhythmic slapping of his cock against your mouth continued, you peeked that his legs were becoming unsteady. “I’m about to cum, darling,” he said, his voice shaky from too much stimulation. You shut your eyes and anticipated his release. When it did come, you gulped it all in.

He slowly took out his dick from your mouth and watched you lick the remaining cum from your hand. “I’ve got enough protein now,” you giggled as you looked at him straight in the eyes. His sultry façade faded as he saw your reaction, and he bent down to your level to kiss your forehead.

“I’ll give you more of that, mon amour,” he said as he carried you to the bed. “I’m going to fill you up with my loving.”

\\\

In the week that you and Jaehyun had trysts, you realized how much of a boyfriend material he is on the fourth day.

As you cuddled on the couch at his place, he suddenly sang you an old love song. It was one of your favorites: ‘And I Love Her’ by The Beatles.

He looked at you in the eyes, arms wrapped around your waist, as he sang the song wholeheartedly.

She gives me everything

And tenderly

The kiss my lover brings

She brings to me

And I love her

You couldn’t help but smile at how romantic he was being and felt your cheeks flush as he swayed you in his embrace.

A love like ours

Could never die

As long as I

Have you near me

You poked the dimples that appeared on his face as he continued singing, which prompted him to squeeze you tighter.

Bright are the stars that shine

Dark is the sky

I know this love of mine

Will never die

And I love her

He kissed your forehead after he wrapped up the song. “I love you so much, darling,” he whispered.

You could only kiss his nose in response since you were afraid that you were falling hard for him as well.

\\\

Jaehyun never fails to mention that he gets extremely sweaty whenever you’re together. You remembered it the most when you fucked – you never wanted to call it making love since you knew you were sinning every time you did it – and you just wanted to dry him off with a towel.

“Mon amour, does it bother you?”

He asked after a round of sex on the fifth day of your affair. “What do you mean?” You tilted your body toward him, and he grabbed your forearm.

“I mean, look at me, darling,” he gestured at his naked sweaty body with his free hand, “I’m bothered by this. Aren’t you?”

You took the towel on the bedside table and wiped him on his neck first, then dabbed it down his torso. “I am, but I don’t want to think about that when you’re ramming your dick inside me, you know?” You chuckled, now wiping his arms.

“Sorry for that stupid question,” he laughed, grabbing the towel from you. “But I get sweaty so easily. I hope you wouldn’t be bothered by it in the long run.” He was now drying his legs with the soaked towel.

“Whoever chooses to be your partner shouldn’t be, mon cheri,” you kissed his now dry shoulder. “Because they should focus on your performance, as always.” With those words, you pinned him down and dominated the next round of sex.

–––

FIN

P.S. I wonder if you’ll get drunk every time you read their pretentious name-calling in French. Did you guys try it? 

Fling Things

Let me introduce you to some fling things! Did you read that to the tune of ‘Kick It’? If you did, then you are a real NCTzen! 

Kidding aside, here’s a lighthearted story with the special participation of Wong Yuk-hei, also known as Lucas from WayV and Super M! 

Lest you forget, this is predominantly a Johnny (and Jaehyun and Mark) fanfiction blog, so read on to know how Lucas gets into the picture this time. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Like a page taken out of a rom-com storyline, Essie has a one-night stand with Lucas, and Johnny and Jaehyun aren’t happy about it. Hilarity ensues, as always. 

POV: 2nd person still. I wrote a lot of stuff last year, can you tell? 

Word count: 1,200 + words 

Warning: It’s a bit steamy, but not too much that it’s foggy. Get that? Otherwise, it’s just good old fun with the boys. 

–––

Before you and Johnny became official, you had a couple of flings with other guys. One of them was with Lucas, whom you had a one-night stand with. It was during a party that you ended up with the head-turning Hong Konger. 

The party was to celebrate someone’s birthday – you were sure it was for the Aquarian group of Doyoung, Johnny, and Jaehyun – and somehow, you ended up on the couch with Lucas. 

Both of you were tipsy already, with him affectionately rubbing your thigh, and you caressing his arm. You were talking too close to each other that nothing else mattered – if you weren’t that drunk, you might have noticed that Johnny and Jaehyun were glaring at your interaction with Lucas. 

Everything happened so fast, and before you knew it, you were in bed with the younger guy. You could only remember snippets of the deed, which were too steamy to even recall in detail. 

You woke up around 7 a.m. and found that Lucas was still beside you, scrolling through his phone. He was still topless, exposing his neck and arms that were almost filled with your love bites. You flushed at the memory of yesterday’s debauchery and decided to get up.

But before you could even do that, Lucas pinned you back on the bed. “Hey baby, morning,” he said in his trademark sultry voice. You gave him a weak smile, which he responded to with his awkward laughter. 

“You were great last night,” he started, leaning closer to you, “and I mean it.” He eyed the marks you left him. “Uh, thanks? You were great too,” you replied, starting to relax in your current position. 

He pecked you on the lips before he got up, revealing that he was already wearing his underwear. “Want to get breakfast?” He asked as he rummaged on the chair across the bed for his clothes. 

“Sure thing, but let me wash up first.” You held the blanket around you as you stood up, now shy of your naked body. 

“Okay, I’ll just be here,” Lucas winked at you as he slipped on his jeans. 

\\\

Breakfast with Lucas didn’t feel anything special. It was like eating with a friend – he cracked a lot of jokes while you tried your best not to spit out your coffee from laughter. 

He was a nice boy, but you know that he’s not the one for you. Blame it on the alcohol that you were able to do something you thought you would never do. 

He pecked your cheek before you left his car. “Let me know if you want to hang out, okay? I’ve put my number in there,” he tapped at your phone, “and you can chat me up too.” 

You nodded, bewildered that he was able to unlock your phone and put his number in your contacts. The boy might be more into you than you thought. 

Even if it has already been a couple of hours since you two did it, you still have the post-sex pain. 

You hobbled towards the door barefoot since you know you wouldn’t be able to walk in heels. As you fumbled for the keys in your bag, you heard footsteps approaching the door. 

Johnny, who was in a baggy shirt and sweatpants, opened the door for you. “Hey, wouldn’t you look at that,” he said, leaning against the doorway. “Baby’s got a fun time last night, and we weren’t invited!” His sarcastic tone annoyed you, but at the same time, you also felt guilty. 

You weren’t able to notify the guys that you were still at the venue of the party, in one of the rooms having your way with one of the most handsome men you’ve ever known. Aren’t all of your guy friends?

“Hey, I’m sorry,” you croaked. “I didn’t mean to not text or call you guys but…uh, things happened. And I didn’t expect that to happen. Not in a million years. I don’t know what came over me–––”

Johnny cut you off by pulling you into the house. “Stop blabbering and come inside,” he whispered, his hand still on your wrist as he dragged you to the sofa. 

You followed him silently, and he even patted a spot on the couch for you to sit on. Once you were seated, he flicked your nose. “You deserve that for making us worry,” he said before taking a seat beside you.

“But I said I was sorry!” You grumbled, rubbing the spot he hit. “Please don’t do that again, Essie. Jaehyun and I were worried about you, but especially me.” With that, you turned around and saw that one of his best friends walked toward you with a cup of coffee.

“Looks like you need one,” he said as he handed the steaming cup to you. You thanked him and carefully took a sip. It tasted just the way you like it – with milk and two packets of sugar. 

“Hey, you know my blend,” you gave an approving look at Jaehyun, who rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Because I’ve observed you enough to know what you like,” he mumbled. 

You could only look at the boys in shock. Jaehyun usually didn’t act this flustered, and Johnny’s concern was bordering on anger. You set the coffee on the table and explained yourself again, this time more confidently. 

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to message or call you guys. I know you were concerned because I had too much to drink, and I was flirting with someone…” You softened your voice at the end, embarrassed of admitting that you had a rendezvous last night. 

“Yes dear, you were with Lucas. The young sex god. You got pulled into his charms,” Johnny said dryly while rolling his eyes. “You were too weak to resist it,” Jaehyun piped in, folding his arms in disappointment. 

“I didn’t expect that too, honest! But anyway, now I’m home safe and sound, I’m really sorry I made you guys worry. What can I do to make it up to you guys?” You pleaded, giving your best aegyo to appease them. 

Both guys looked at each other, deep in thought on what you can do to make them forgive you. It took them a moment until both of them said the same thing.

 “Be my assistant for the week.” 

“Hey, I said it first!” Johnny grumbled, glaring at the guy standing beside him. 

“No, I was the one who said it first!” Jaehyun rebutted, raising an eyebrow at his friend. 

They bickered for a moment, and you shook your head at their immaturity. 

“Well, I guess you two should settle that first. I’m going to take a long bath, and let me know who the winner is,” you said, standing up with the cup of coffee.

“Let’s settle this with rock-paper-scissors, so we know who the winner is now!” Johnny screeched, getting into a competitive stance. Jaehyun mirrored him, and you watched them play the most intense rock-paper-scissors game ever. 

The taller guy won with paper against Jaehyun’s rock. The latter drooped his shoulders in defeat while Johnny pumped his fist in the air. “I win! Better prepare yourself, girl, I’m going to tire you out!” He said, pointing a finger at you for emphasis. 

“Yeah, whatever. I’m going to rest for now,” you took a sip of your coffee before walking away from the two guys. 

Sometimes, being surrounded by more guys makes things more complicated for you. All you ever wanted was to be with that one special guy, but life has to make things challenging for you. 

Is this a conquest you should continue, or should you stop now?

–––

FIN

A Kiss for Luck

As mentioned before, I don’t write in chronological order. Here’s another example of that in this Essie and Jaehyun piece. 

This one’s also dedicated to @gyuschilli, which I will discuss more in the summary. 

And how can I not forget to add an adorable GIF of Jeong Jaehyun for your pleasure? 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: This story was inspired by this tweet that @gyuschilli sent me, and I thought it might tie in to their affair as well. Consider this as the main event of their fourth day, even if I wrote a snippet of it on a previous post. 

POV: 3rd person as this is one of my most recent writing. 

Word count: 1,000 + words 

Warning: As always, they are a horny bunch. Nothing smutty, just a bit of sexiness here. 

–––

“Yoon Oh, what’s up?”

She never called him his real name unless she was serious. Jeong Jaehyun looked at Essie Park, who was rubbing circles on his back. They were hanging out at the couch in her apartment, which she shared with two of their friends. One of them happened to be her boyfriend, who was abroad at the moment. The same could be said for the other one, who was with Jaehyun’s housemate for a special project. In short, they had their apartments all to their selves.

“It’s just that…” he started, looking at anything than her worried face, “I might go out of the country too in a week or so. I’ve been offered a project, just like Mark and Taeyong. It's a solo one, and I might not be back for a couple of weeks.”

This made her lean back against the couch and place her hands on her lap. “Oh, why are you all leaving one at a time?” She asked in a small voice.

“That’s what my manager told me, mon amour. I thought that this project wouldn’t push through until next year, and I was shocked to hear this news earlier.”  

“Oh, I see,” Essie scrutinized her fingers as she waited for Jaehyun’s response. “I’m sorry about that,” She felt him move closer to her, “but we still have a couple of days to enjoy each other’s company before I leave?”

When she looked up at him, his lips were immediately on hers.

Ah, it was already the fourth day of their affair. They drove to the beach, ate good food, and fucked as much as they could for the past few days. Hearing that he would have to fly for a project next week broke Essie a bit, but she was also relieved deep inside since she could still detach herself from him.

If she took the time to reflect, then she would realize how much this is hurting her. She knew she loved her boyfriend, The One and Only Johnny Suh, but she could not resist temptation in the form of Jeong Jaehyun.

Both of them started as her friends, but it was the Korean-American who won her heart eventually. It was only recently that Jaehyun admitted he liked her, and as much as she didn’t want to break his heart, she had broken hers (and her boyfriend’s) for starting this affair.

When they pulled away from each other, Jaehyun buried his face on the crook of Essie’s neck. “My darling, I don’t want to leave you,” he whispered. “Not now that we’re getting to know each other better.”

“I could say the same, mon cheri,” she kissed his cheek. “I’ve always wanted to have deep conversations with you, but we never had much time, no?”

“Because you were always with Johnny hyung,” he scoffed, pulling away from her to show his sarcasm. “But that doesn’t matter right now. You are all mine,” He started to pepper her neck with kisses, which she encouraged by stroking his hair.

She closed her eyes and let him pleasure her. Once again, she will forget that she is someone else’s and that she is for him alone.

\\\

As they spent the afternoon listening to records and drinking wine, Jaehyun suddenly wore his serious look again, which concerned (but mostly bothered) Essie.

“Yoon Oh…” She wrapped her arms around his waist. “It hurts me when I see you look like that. What’s up, my sweet lover?”

“I remembered my project again. This will be the first time I’m doing something like this, so…I’m quite nervous about it.”

Although his confidence level was not as extreme as Johnny’s, Essie found it heartbreaking that Jaehyun was not feeling his best about this new endeavor.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” She looked up at him with puppy eyes, making him suppress his groan by biting his lip.

“How about…you kiss me for good luck?” He flashed his trademark dimpled smile, which she responded to by thwacking him on the shoulder.

“Seriously, Jay? Will a kiss really help you?” She folded her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at him.

“If it woke up Sleeping Beauty and turned frogs into princes, then I guess it would,” he was practically beaming at how absurd he sounded, but he hoped that she would buy it.

“Then you might turn into a frog if I kiss you then?” She readjusted her arms over her chest and moved closer to him. “I don’t want to see you turn into that.”

He wanted to roll his eyes at how their conversation was going but decided to approach his request in another way. He did his best aegyo, which involved him talking to her in a baby voice and doing a silly dance.

“Can baby get a kiss from his mommy?”

Essie had the urge to hide from secondhand embarrassment but pulled through when she saw how desperate he was for it.

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” she closed the gap between them and kissed him on the cheek. “Is that enough, mon bebe?”

He shook his head and pointed at his lips. “Isn’t my baby demanding?” she sighed.

“Come on, mon amour. Just this one, and I’ll be okay.” He puckered his lips and made kissy noises.

She gave in to his request, and he responded with such passion that it led to them making out on the couch.

It was déjà vu – didn’t this just happen a while ago? As she became lost in his kisses, the thought of him leaving her crept back in her mind.

She was conflicted once more. It is for the best that you cut this as soon as you can, her logical side told her.

No, you will never get to do this again, her emotional side lamented.

Shut the fuck up, she told both sides of her brain as she felt Jaehyun’s tongue go deeper in her mouth.

She moaned at how good it felt, and as always, they fucked.

This was becoming a routine, and she wondered if she could keep it up before he leaves or not.

–––

FIN

Housemates (Jaehyun)

Of course, I had to do my version of having Jeong Jaehyun as a housemate. Expect fluffy happenings and realizations on his part in this piece. 

As always, here’s a Jaehyun GIF for you. I just want to poke and squish his cheeks here!  

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: Like the previous ones, this story is inspired by this post. There was one item that I wasn’t able to write about, and one of the scenarios here is inspired by real life. Can you guess what that is? 

POV: This has a mix of both 2nd and 3rd POVs since I wrote them at different times. 

Word count: 2,100 + words, which is the longest I have for this series. 

Warning: Truthfully, I wrote this piece sort of a prelude to their affair, so expect that he’s quite sweet with Essie on this. 

–––

There was a time in Essie’s life that she and Jaehyun were housemates before their affair. Maybe that experience was why the guy fell for her but still didn’t do anything about it until it was too late.

Essie stayed in Jaehyun’s old place when he and Taeil were still housemates. This time, Taeil was staying with Donghyuck since they became closer over time. Not that the old roommates weren’t friends anymore; they just grew apart.

Essie and Taeil loved bonding over music and cats. Jaehyun will observe them from afar, with his trademark dimpled smile, as they played with kittens while listening to Frank Ocean.

“Are you guys hungry?” The pink-haired guy interrupted their moment, moving closer to them so they will notice his presence. “Yeah, we are!” Essie and Taeil said at the same time, which made them giggle afterward. “Aren’t you hungry too, Ying?” The girl cooed at the white kitten on her lap. “I’m sure Yang is hungry!” The guy beside her said, stroking the fur of the black kitten he now carried in his arms.

Jaehyun chuckled at his housemates before grabbing his coat. “I’ll get you your favorites, please wait for me.”

“Okay, bye! Take care!” Both voices said at the same time, along with the soft meowing of kittens.

\\\

“I can’t sleep,” Essie whined one evening when she appeared in Jaehyun’s room. The girl was dressed in men’s pajamas, which she probably swiped from Johnny.

“How can I help you sleep?” The guy asked, motioning her to come further into his room. She walked hesitantly towards the small chair beside his shelf of knick-knacks, her eyes roaming all over his room.

“Your place looks cute and cozy, it’s very you,” she commented before taking a seat on said small chair.

Jaehyun had just closed the door to his room and was now standing in front of Essie. “Thanks sweetie, that’s very thoughtful of you,” he sat across from her on the edge of his bed, “but what would you want to do now?”

She assumed a thinker’s pose – hands cradling her chin – and hummed. “Are you watching anything right now?”

“A series? Let’s see,” he got his phone and checked Netflix. “Just re-runs of ‘Friends’. Would you like to watch it with me?”

She nodded eagerly, and he set up the television. “Thanks, dude. Maybe watching a series might make me sleepy,” she mumbled as she was now seated on one part of his bed.

“No problem, my sweet Essie. I’m happy to help you out,” he said as he plopped on the space beside her as the iconic introduction of the series now played.

A few episodes in and Jaehyun noticed that the girl was yawning. “Okay, I think you’re sleepy now,” he whispered. She gave a small nod before yawning loudly. “Thanks again, Jay. Sorry if I had to crash here just so I can be sleepy.”

“Anything for you, sweetie.” He squeezed her hand, which she returned. “Just drop by when you have a problem or something.”

She got up from the bed and waved silently before leaving his room. This was one of those moments that he felt weird and warm at the same time – he was slowly falling for her.

Maybe he should stop giving her pet names? That might be the reason why he found her more attractive each day. Or maybe he’s just making an excuse because he has always been interested in her from the start.

\\\

“Good morning, honey,” Jaehyun greeted Essie, who looked like she needed more hours of sleep despite sleeping for more than the recommended 8 hours.

“Honey? Yesterday I was sweetie,” she mumbled while rubbing her eyes. “You never seem to run out of nicknames for me, eh?”

“Yup, as long as I think of anything to call you, I’ll call you that.” He said, smiling at her as he handed her the box of cereal. “Do you want anything else?”

“Milk, of course. How am I supposed to eat this without it?” Essie shook the box in front of him in annoyance.

He chuckled at her reaction and handed her a carton of milk from the fridge. “You just want some milk, okay then,” he muttered.

This got her laughing as she remembered a viral video of him studying for his English oral exams, and netizens highlighted that line as one of his iconic moments.

“Don’t you dare bring it up, honey,” he grumbled as he got a bowl and spoon for her.

“But that was really funny, Yoon Oh!”

His only response was a glare, which didn’t faze Essie at all. Instead, she burst into laughter and even slapped the table for emphasis.

\\\

“You poor baby,” Jaehyun said, brushing the strands of Essie’s hair away from her face. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this, usually I get better with meds and rest,” the girl replied, her voice a bit hoarse.

Essie got sick during the second week of her stay in Jaehyun and Taeil’s apartment. The latter was out, and it was just her and the former at home.

At first, she was just sneezing more than usual. Then, she was coughing. Soon enough, she had to wear a facemask despite her aversion to them. Jaehyun noticed that her eyes were red and watery as well.

When he decided to check on Essie a while ago, he saw that she was completely wrapped in her comforter even if the AC was on. He took matters into his own hands, and that’s why they ended up like this.

“I heard from Johnny that your mom always made you warm calamansi juice whenever you got sick,” he said as he reached for the mug on her bedside table.

She got teary-eyed as she took the mug from him. “You didn’t have to do this for me,” she said before taking a sip. “I just needed more rest, that’s all.”

“You’ll get better faster when there’s someone to take care of you.”

Essie felt her insides warm up even more with Jaehyun’s comment, and she drank more of the juice he made her.

“I also made some chicken noodle soup. Everything to get your flu out of the way, okay?” He flashed her a smile and patted her thigh.

Essie was practically burning from his touch but did her best not to show that she felt such. She smiled weakly and went back to sleep.

Despite Jaehyun’s good intentions, his actions made Essie’s temperature go higher.

“And I thought you’ll be better faster with my warm offerings,” he said the following day as he got the thermometer from her.

“I’m sorry, but as I said, I need more rest. But you can make me more of that warm calamansi juice though. Please?” She attempted to bat her eyelashes at him, which made Jaehyun giggle.

“Alright, I’ll make you more of that. I’m glad you love it though,” he said as he kissed her temple.

“Thank you, Jay. You’re the best. Your future girlfriend will be so lucky to have you,” she murmured before closing her eyes.

He took one last look at her before going to the kitchen to prepare her drink.

Yes, Essie. You are lucky to have me.

\\\

One of the things that irked you when you were roommates with Jaehyun was that he always had to put his game on loudspeaker.

You groaned as you heard the sound of machine guns, a female voice screaming ‘Victory’, and conversations between the characters of the game.

“Jay, would you turn it down a bit? I’m trying to focus here,” you said as poked your head in his room.

He was intent on killing the enemy on the screen, and it took him a couple of seconds to respond to your request. He paused the game and flashed you an apologetic smile.

“Sorry about that, I’ll just lower the volume. I like playing games with the sound on, it gets me more in the mood.”

You rolled your eyes at his answer and closed the door. You hoped that he would do what he said since even your noise-canceling headphones weren’t strong enough to block the noises of his game.

Maybe it’s about time that you replace that Bose hand-me-down from your sister.

\\\

You were surprised to see two shirts, a pair of joggers, and a hoodie that wasn't yours in your hamper.

You examined the tags and realized that these clothes belonged to Jaehyun. Your rooms were just beside each other, with your hamper placed outside your room.

Since it was just outside, it was convenient for you to dump your laundry there. And maybe he thought the same since he also did with his clothes on your hamper.

“Jay…” You started as you poked your head in his room again. He was lying on his bed scrolling through his phone. He wore his headband, a black shirt, and a pair of shorts. He looked comfortable in his position – a bit of his torso showed as the shirt had risen.

“Yeah?” He said without turning around. When you squinted your eyes to look at what he was doing, you chuckled. He was responding to tweets from friends and fans.

“May I ask why you put some of your laundries in my basket?”

This got him to stand up immediately and rush to the hamper outside your rooms. “Sorry about that, Essie,” he said, plucking out his clothes that you have now carefully folded on top of yours. “It’s just easier to dump them there than put them in my hamper inside the room.”

“Then why not just put your hamper outside then? I’m sure ours don’t look the same,” you said, peeking into his room for his basket.

Shoot, it looked like yours as well – a wicker basket with a lid and linen lining inside.

“No wonder you’ve been putting your clothes in mine,” you groaned as you dragged the basket outside. “I’ll just put a label on which one’s yours and mine, okay?”

The guy nodded, opening the lid of his hamper and dumping his laundry in. “I’m sorry, Essie. This won’t happen again.”

But of course, it still happened again even if you have put labels on your baskets. Maybe that’s just the way it is with Jaehyun – you’ll always have to segregate what’s yours and his in your respective hampers.

If you only knew that he liked to put his clothes in your basket so it could mingle with the scent of yours. It’s a little bit creepy and sweet at the same time – who knew that the heartthrob has a side like this, eh?

\\\

“I can’t sleep again.”

You said, hoping your voice was loud enough for him through the wall.

“Well, we can talk if you want. Do you want to come here?”

Jaehyun answered, his voice loud enough to penetrate through the wall.

“I’m too tired to move, dude. My legs feel like jelly from bowling, which I haven’t played in ages.” You rubbed your thighs in hopes that they feel a bit better.

You heard him chuckle first before he responded to your comment. “Well, I suppose you didn’t stretch first?”

“Ugh, I forgot about that! I’ll take note of that next time. Anyway, what’s up with you?”

“I’m trying to compose something. I’m talking to you as I sit in front of my keyboard right now.”

“Do you have any chords in mind to start it off?”

“Well, here it goes,” he said, pressing a couple of chords that sounded melancholic. “That seems fitting for an emotional song,” you commented. “Have you thought about the lyrics?”

Your conversation continued even if there was a wall separating you two. Taeil wasn’t at the apartment right now as he went home to his parents. Lately, it’s always you and Jaehyun who hung out. You missed Taeil since only the two of you loved cats, and he brought Ying and Yang home.

As you and your housemate worked on a song together, you couldn’t help but feel warm inside. The AC in your room was on, but the warmth blooming inside you rendered it almost useless. It was nice talking to Jaehyun like this. You were able to collaborate on a song together even if you didn’t have to see each other’s faces.

Before you knew it, sunlight peeked in through your curtains. “Wow, dude. We’ve been talking for what, four to five hours straight? It’s now 5 in the morning.”

“Yeah, Essie. I can’t believe it as well,” he chortled. You heard the sound of a chair being moved and took it as a cue to wrap things up.

“Thanks for talking to me, Jay. And I’m glad that I was able to help you out with your composition.” You said, now lying on your bed instead of sitting on it.

“Sure thing, anything for you. Like I always say, right?” He never seemed to stop chuckling at his words, but you didn’t let it get to you for now.

“Good night, Jaehyun.”

“Good morning, Essie.”

–––

FIN

If you guessed that having warm calamansi juice while being sick is inspired by real life, then you are correct. I miss it though! 

Day Dream

Through the help of my office mate, I was able to retrieve a copy of some of my previous writing. This is one of them, which I hope you’ll enjoy. 

To be honest, I didn’t know what I was thinking – this just happened like a daydream. Yes, the pun was definitely intended.

Here’s an edited outtake of Jaehyun from the same song that appears in their Neo Zone album. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: This is inspired by Essie and Jaehyun’s steamy affair. I can’t believe I write smut for Jaehyun, but not for Johnny. How come, self? 

POV: 3rd person since this is quite new, meaning this was written pre-quarantine this year. 

Word count: 720 + words. I think this is the shortest so far? Let me get back to you on that soon. 

Warning: This is as smutty as I’m going to get for now. 

Recommended listening: Sorry if I’m going to ruin your thoughts on their song, but I did write this while listening repeatedly to it. 

–––

The longer Jaehyun and Essie went on with their trysts, the more it felt like a dream.

She lost count on what day it is – was it the third or fourth day? – as they made out on her couch.

Johnny was in Chicago while Mark was in London, so they were confident enough to do this at her apartment. Jaehyun felt that his soul was watching above their bodies and observing what it must feel like to have her as his.

“Oh Jay, please don’t stop,” she said breathlessly as he peppered kisses from her neck down to her collarbone. “No, I won’t, baby doll,” he murmured, his lips now at the edge of her shirt’s collar.

He thought that they would spend the days just hanging out and kissing, but it turned out to be a carnal affair. They couldn’t help but fuck each other, and then end the day acting like a regular couple.

They ended up naked on the couch, their clothes scattered on the floor. Before Jaehyun entered her, he lay above her and took in her naked glory with his hungry eyes. “You are so beautiful, Miss Jessica Park,” he breathed, his hands pinning her wrists down.

“And you are a beautiful man yourself, Jeong Yoon Oh,” she replied in the same manner, giving him a smile that made him pound her immediately with reckless abandon. It was the first time they were doing it without any protection, and damn the consequences for he wanted to feel her raw.

Her moans were music to his ears, and he loved it especially when she screamed his name.

“Scream for me more, baby,” he grunted, thrusting quicker inside her. “P…please Yoon Oh, fuck me some more,” she said, almost at her limit.

“I can’t hear you,” he taunted, his hands now snaking on her throat. “More, baby,” he pleaded, giving his all in thrusting into her.

She screamed his names loud and clear, forgetting that her neighbors might hear her screaming another name other than her boyfriend’s. Essie didn’t give a fuck right now – she had to admit that Jaehyun satisfied her sexual desires more than Johnny.

When they both came from their sexual highs, he peppered her whole body with kisses. “You are the best, Jay,” she said, arching her back a little so he could have more access to other areas of her body.

“Really? Am I better than Youngho?” He looked directly into her eyes as he asked this, hoping that she gives him a brutally honest answer.

“Oh, definitely,” she replied, one of her hands ruffling his hair. “You do me like nobody else.”

“I’m glad that you think that way, mon amour,” he said, kissing her inner thigh before hovering over her again. “Let’s take a shower, yes?” When she nodded, he pulled her up and carried her bridal style to the bathroom.

\\\

As much as they wanted to take a bath normally, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They had another round inside the shower stall, and unbeknownst to Essie, he came inside her. She couldn’t tell because they were both damp with soap and water, and she was exhausted.

He carried her again toward her bedroom (she still has a separate room in case she doesn’t want to sleep on Johnny’s bed) and both dressed each other. Jaehyun helped her get into a pink slip dress (and no underwear, of course), while Essie dressed him in a pair of boxer shorts and a black shirt.

“Loving you feels like I’m dreaming,” he sang to her as he caressed her cheek. “I can say the same too, darling,” she said, mimicking his action.

“I love you so much, and I wish you were mine for real,” he pressed his forehead on hers and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Oh ma cherie amour, je t'aime tellement que ça me fait mal.”

“Touché, mon cheri,” she replied softly, tilting his chin to look at her. “But I don’t want to think about reality right now. I want to be in this dream with you.”

He responded by kissing her, which felt more comforting than sensual. It was as if she was comforting him that he couldn’t have her, and the only thing he could do was just to give in for now.

–––

FIN

Did you find out the translation of Jay’s badly-translated French statement? 

Cruel Game

Shaking things up with this brain fart because too much lovey-dovey can get on your nerves. Well, sometimes. Or is it just me? 

Anyway, I just want to share that I love any Jaehyun and Mark interactions. I like how chill both are, and let’s be honest – they give off frat boy vibes. 

I love this GIF of them – I feel the love, man! GIF is from this link.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Sharing that I love Jaehyun and Mark’s friendship is a clue to what you’ll be reading today, as the guys are fueled by their jealousy to get Essie’s heart. Say what?! Yes, I wrote this with the tensest timeline in mind, meaning it’s before Johnny and Essie got together and are getting real touchy with each other. 

POV: 3rd person 

Word count: 1,200 + words 

Warning: Italics are for thoughts and foreign terms. 

–––

Jaehyun knew he lost when he saw the look Essie and Johnny shared during one of their hangouts.

The grey-haired heartthrob, along with Taeyong and Ten, decided to visit their friends Mark, Johnny, and Essie (who also happen to be housemates). It has been a while since Mark and Taeyong were in their respective apartments due to their hectic schedules, and it has been ages since all of them hung out with Ten.

He, Taeyong, and Johnny cooked while Ten, Mark, and Essie provided entertainment through singing with their respective instruments or dancing. The three men prepared a mix of both Korean and Japanese food, which delighted the only girl in the house. “It’s as if you know what I’m craving for!” She gushed, clapping her hands together in glee.

“Of course, I know what you like,” Jaehyun commented confidently with a wink, making her blush. His action was not lost on Johnny, who looked as if he could burn a hole on the back of his friend’s head. “Thank you, Jay!” Essie chirped before she nudged Ten to help her in setting the table.

Once that was set, everyone sat down and enjoyed their dinner. It was during this part of the evening that Jaehyun knew that Essie has made up her mind on whom she likes the most. It was not lost on him that he was one of the people who first knew of her crush on Johnny and other guys in their huge social circle. If he remembered correctly, the only ones from the group she told of were him and Ten.

He caught Johnny tapping her shoulder lightly to whisper something in her ear. He noticed the way she leaned immediately to his touch and giggled at the few words he said. They shared a look before they went back to eating.

If he was asked to describe the look they gave each other, it was one of sweet longing and understanding. In short, he was jealous that he wasn’t the one who received it.

Jaehyun tightened the grip on his utensils as he continued eating dinner, feeling his face heat up in anger. “Hey, hyung. You okay?” Mark asked, who was seated to his left. He nodded in response and gave a goofy smile to reassure him.

“But your ear is, like, all red,” Ten commented before eating a whole sushi. He touched his ear and felt that he was going to get burned with how hot it was. “Oh, maybe it must be the weather? Or the room’s a bit too warm,” he mumbled before focusing on his plate again.

“Did you say it’s too hot, Jay? I can adjust the temperature of the AC,” Essie offered, now standing up to go to where she placed the remote of the air conditioner. “Yeah, thanks dear,” he said softly, looking at her figure disappear into the living room.

“Hey, that’s not where the remote for the AC is, you dummy! It’s over here,” Johnny said, following the girl into the room she went to. The sight of his friend going to where his crush was made him massage his temples in silence, which then led him to lose his appetite.

“I don’t think you’re okay, hyung,” Mark whispered, moving his chair closer to the table. The sound it made turned heads, and all of them looked at the two guys. “What?” Jaehyun was irritated at the looks he got from Taeyong and Ten.

“Yeah, you don’t seem well, Yoon Oh. Do you need a break?” Taeyong said carefully since he didn’t want to irk his housemate. After all, they were going home the same way in the same car.

“I think so. I’ll just be outside,” Jaehyun muttered before going outside to the porch. Mark excused himself shortly afterward and went to where he was as well.

The two men observed the night scenery in silence – well, they could still hear the sound of cicadas chirping and clicking and their heavy breathing.

“What brings you here, Mark?” He started, folding his arms over his chest.

“I think I know what set you off,” the younger guy replied, moving closer to him.

“Oh, you think? Then humor me. Tell me what that is,” his tone was sarcastic, which Mark picked up and returned in his response.

“Don’t think you’re the only one who’s annoyed with Johnny and Essie making goo-goo eyes at each other.”

They looked at each other for a moment and burst into laughter afterward. “Hey, why are you annoyed with them? What did they do to you? Sucks that you have to endure that, eh?” Jaehyun took a seat on the bench, and Mark followed suit. “It’s not that they did anything to me, but I think…I like Essie noona more than, you know, as a sister figure.” The way his voice softened at the end made the older guy’s heart ache.

“Damn, Mark. I didn’t know you felt that way. I guess…you can say the same thing about me too,” he brushed his hair away from his face and looked out into the dark horizon again. “It’s not usual for me to be jealous, especially towards one of my best friends. But I can’t help it. I like Essie too, but I think she has made her decision on who she likes the most.”

“Huh? What does that mean?” Mark moved closer to his hyung, his eyes shining in anticipation with his next words.

Oh crap, this is bad. I shouldn’t have phrased it that way…he thought, running another hand through his hair.

“Let’s just say that Essie likes a lot of guys, and among them all, Johnny is the one she likes the best. And unfortunately, none of us made that list. Isn’t that sad?”

It took a moment for Mark to reply. “Maybe she wouldn’t tell us that if she liked us that way, you know? But maybe she likes one of us too, or heck, even just one of us aside from Johnny hyung. But who are we to compete with him?” He peeked inside and saw that he and Essie were arguing on the dinner table.

“Hey, be confident with yourself, Mark Lee. Suh Youngho isn’t the only handsome and talented guy in the room,” Jaehyun patted his friend’s back before sneaking a look on the commotion inside. He saw that Essie looked pissed, and Johnny was rolling his eyes at her.

“But they look like a fucking married couple already,” Mark mumbled, his eyes also focused on the two. “I think they’re meant for each other.”

“Don’t lose hope. Why don’t you try?” Both men returned to looking at the night sky. “You know, talking with you made me not give up on pursuing Essie. I felt that I have already lost. That sickeningly sweet look she and Youngho had earlier broke me, man. I swear to you,” the older guy admitted, his eyes now focused on his shoes.

“But that means we’ll be competing for her then,” the black-haired guy glanced at Jaehyun, who was now looking at him. “I still want to try, you know. Even if I know deep inside she might not accept my love.”

“That’s the spirit, I guess?” Jaehyun chuckled, slinging an arm around Mark’s shoulder. “May the best man win then.”

“Good luck to us, hyung. I mean it.”

–––

FIN

P.S. The title came from ‘Sit Down’ as it suddenly played in my head the moment I saved the initial draft. Of course, how can I forget Jaehyun’s lines and his competitive spirit? 

Burnout

Hey.

I know what you might be thinking. Why only now. Or finally. Or why I had the nerve to do this when I had already left.

This isn’t easy for me, but you probably don’t care about that. I know you don’t deserve what I did to you. Or anyone else. No one deserves to be left alone without any warning.

I loved you, Y/N. But I was too afraid to tell you what I really felt after our work trip to that resort. That’s why I did what I did. I left, and I tried to remove all traces of you in my life.

But here I am, writing this letter and sending all the videos and pictures I have of you. It’s up to you if you want to keep them or burn them. We both deserve closure, and this is mine.

I sincerely apologize that I’ve hurt you so badly, but I can never take that back by being with you again. I doubt that you’ll give me another chance. But please hear me out for one last time by telling you the reasons why I decided to vanish from your life.

---

Summary: Y/N recalls her last great relationship, and it comes back to her unexpectedly when she returns to her hometown. Will she rekindle the flames she had with Johnny Suh, or will she remain with Jeong Jaehyun, the man who made her love again?

COMING SOON.

Dangerous

I'm in a Jeong Jaehyun mood lately.

I mean, who wouldn't be, especially if you're an NCTzen? Just kidding unless he isn't your bias huhu.

I guess I'm prepping myself to write Burnout, so have some of my writing about him in the meantime.

Here's the first one, inspired by numerous playbacks of The xx's "Dangerous."

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 2nd person

Word count: 506 words

Additional notes: This piece is part of the Trysts with Mon Amour timeline, so I'll be glad if you can check that out too.

---

You had been told that Jeong Jaehyun was a dangerous person. Not in the sense that he was a serial killer, but he would break your heart if you got too close to him.

You remembered Doyoung, a common friend of yours (and everybody else it seemed), who told you about this during one of the many house parties you’ve attended.

“I hope you have heard one of the many rumors about our friend,” he started, using his pointer finger discreetly to point at Jaehyun, “and I’m going to confirm with you that it’s true.”

You raised an eyebrow at him before chugging the bottle of beer in your hand. “What do you mean by that? I haven’t heard many rumors about Jay.”

“Aw, come on, Essie, you should know that one! He is a serial dater and can never commit to one person for a long time,” Doyoung sounded exasperated at this, which made him finish the remaining water in his glass.

You looked at Jaehyun, who seemed enamored at the girl he talked to. You knew he was feigning interest, and you could see that his smile hid his motive to sleep with her. After all, the girl he was talking to was hot. You knew how hot girls looked like, and you were far from it.

“Oh, that one,” you grumbled. “Well, there isn’t anything I can do about that. It’s his choice anyway.” You faced Doyoung, who now has a newly refilled glass. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I’ve noticed you two are becoming close these days, and I don’t want you to end up like her,” he was staring at his friend’s interaction with the girl, who has now linked her arms around the heartthrob.

To be honest, you wanted to refute Doyoung for his words, as if you’re going to risk having a relationship with his fellow Aquarian friend. But deep inside, your feelings are a mess because you’re falling for Johnny, and maybe for Jaehyun too.

You took a deep breath to compose yourself. “Well, thanks for the warning, and I’ll take that in mind,” your eyes never left Jaehyun and the girl he was with as they headed out of the venue.

“Take this seriously, Essie,” Doyoung patted your shoulder before leaving you to your thoughts. This time, you watched your friend mingle with the rest of the crowd.

You felt the air becoming colder as you decided to stay still and observe everyone. You realized you were getting too old for this shit – watching people get completely wasted, taking strangers somewhere upstairs so they could bang each other, and hearing crude jokes about everything. You finished the beer that had become lukewarm in your hands and went out to have a smoke to clear your mind further.

Will you consider pursuing a relationship with Jeong Jaehyun if the opportunity arises? Maybe so, or maybe not.

But little did you know, you would be the one who would break his heart not only once, but twice.

---

FIN

P.S. Always listen to Doyoung; he knows best.

Reality Checklist

Continuing my Jaehyun writings with this angsty piece, inspired by UNIQUE's "Reality Checklist."

I can't help but write him this way; I know he's going to act this out so well. Let's manifest Actor Jaehyun for 2022!

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 3rd person

Word count: 502 words

Additional notes: If this is your first time reading my work, welcome! However, I'll be linking some writing that is in the same timeline like this one since it's part of one of my many unfinished series. Feel free to read those first or read them after this.

Warning: Uh, there's some suggestive content here.

---

He never thought it would affect him like this.

As Jaehyun took another swig of whiskey, he groaned at the thought that he was actually in love. He fell in love with the girlfriend of his best friend, and he risked everything to be with her.

He was currently in a hotel room abroad for a project, and he looked at his room in disdain. It reminded him they had a fancy dinner at a hotel and fucked afterward.

He remembered the way her teeth grazed on his dick and how delightfully painful it was for him. He took another swig of his drink before fishing out a carton of cigarettes in his pocket.

He was never one to smoke often, but tonight felt like the perfect time to do so. He would channel all his thoughts into the smoke he would let out, and hopefully, he could forget about her.

He knew he was a player, but it wasn’t explicitly known by anyone who didn’t know him personally. However, he didn’t show this side to her. She was one of the people he wanted to have, but he never thought he would be invested in her.

Most of the relationships he had were very brief due to his schedule, and most of the time, it was all about fucking. He needed that release, like most guys his age.

But when he met her, especially when they got to know each other better, he observed her well. He knew how to make her ideal coffee, he knew that she didn’t like it when he wore his cap backward, and he knew that she liked to be eaten out. He knew everything there is to know about her, compared to the other women he had been with.

Was there a thrill in being with someone who was taken already? Maybe so, he told himself, as he put out the third stick he was smoking.

His mind now raced to thoughts of how things would have turned out if he got to her first than his best friend. Would he be this observant? Would he care for her more than his ex-lovers?

“Fuck this,” he groaned for the umpteenth time, eyeing the now-empty bottle of whiskey beside him. “I should forget about her. She made her choice already. It’s not me, and it’s never been me.”

He stood up, drawing open the curtains to his dark room. It was already nighttime, and he looked at the bright and bustling cityscape. He has already seen this scenery a couple of times in different countries, and he would usually find this beautiful.

But now, he felt empty. Everyone was moving, yet here he was, still in his thoughts.

He took out his phone in his other pocket and scrolled through the numbers in his contacts. He dialed a number and pressed his phone to his ears.

“Hey, I heard you can get me someone for the night. Can you find me one by 10:30 p.m.? Thanks.”

---

FIN

Dangerous, B-side

Listening to the same song repeatedly can give you different outputs, but this was my initial draft to Dangerous.

I still wanted to share this since I like the tension between Essie and Jaehyun here, so I hope you enjoy this one.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

POV: 2nd person

Word count: 1,040 words (Wow, it's longer than what I've been writing lately lol)

Additional notes: Like with the previous post, I'll be linking some writing that connects to this one.

Warning: Suggestive themes ahead!

---

You knew it would be dangerous to be near Jeong Jaehyun.

You knew the power he held – he was one of the most handsome men you’ve met, and you knew you could give in to anything he asked you to do.

At first, you didn’t really mind him. You were focused on turning down the flirtatious attempts of his best friend, Johnny Suh, who decided to let you know how memorable you were to him when he saw you in Starbucks.

But when you and Johnny decided to become friends, Jaehyun was the first person in his circle of friends that you got to know better.

He was the perfect gentleman, and you appreciated that. You thought he would be a cocky bastard who would use his handsome privileges.

As you got to know more of Johnny’s friends, you didn’t get to hang around Jaehyun that much. But when you did, you started to feel weird around him. Were his looks and gestures getting to you?

You were conflicted since you were also starting to develop feelings for Johnny, despite the not-so-ideal start of your friendship.

You never thought you would feel like this again – falling for two people at the same time. It was bad, but in the end, it was your choice on who you wanted to get together with.

One of the most unforgettable moments you had with Jaehyun was when he kissed you at a party. Your ex was one of the attendees, and you asked him to hide you. He misheard you and pecked you on the lips.

You couldn’t remember what happened after – were you too drunk to recall if you two have already done it? You shut your eyes, trying to recall as much as you could. No, your body didn’t ache when you got home, and you had a good night’s rest.

As you watched Jaehyun grill meat with Taeyong, you couldn’t help but think if you ended up with him instead.

You had shared interests – you loved vinyl records, and you loved drinking wine. You liked his music selection better than Johnny’s, and he was very chill to talk to. He seemed such a calm person who would perfectly complement your feisty personality.

“Penny for your thoughts, Essie?” He asked, flashing you his trademark dimpled smile. “Oh, it’s nothing,” you mumbled, looking away to recover from the embarrassment you felt at looking at him for too long.

“Hey baby, can you help me with this?” You heard Johnny ask from across the room, and you crossed over to where he was. You were thankful he asked you for help because you needed to distract yourself from such tempting thoughts.

You had dinner with Johnny and his friends in your apartment since it’s been a while since all of them got together. Almost everyone had solo projects, and most of them got back to the country recently.

“If someone deserves a solo, it’s you,” Johnny said to Jaehyun, pointing his chopsticks for emphasis.

“Yeah, we agree,” Taeyong and Doyoung chimed in. Everyone else in the room nodded in approval, even you.

Oh, the thought of Jaehyun singing sexy R’n’B songs excited you so much that you felt the familiar wetness on your underwear.

You cursed yourself at this thought and decided to eat more kimchi to forget that sensation.

“Thanks, guys. Maybe soon, I’ll get that project,” Jaehyun said, ears red with embarrassment. Since he was sitting beside you, you were tempted to stroke his red ear and feel how hot it was.

“I’m sure you will; we just have to wait,” you squeaked, slowly looking up from the bowl you have been focusing your attention on.

“Aw, thanks. That means a lot to me, Essie,” his voice was so soft that you thought you were the only one who heard it. Maybe it was really meant for you.

When you looked up from your bowl, he gave you a heartwarming smile. You smiled back, and he touched your wrist. “I look forward to your support, dear,” he whispered.

You could only nod at his response, your body heating up from his touch. You looked away again to see if anyone was observing your interaction but saw that everyone else was involved in their conversations.

It was as if the world stopped, and only you and Jaehyun were having this intimate conversation.

“You keep on looking away from me tonight; is there something on my face that you don’t want to tell me?”

You didn’t expect his words, and when you looked back at him, he tightened the grip on your wrist.

“No, there isn’t anything wrong with your face, Jay! What makes you think there is?” You were beyond flustered, and you could feel your breathing become ragged.

“You aren’t usually like this when we talk,” he loosened his grip now, “and I like it better when the people I talk to can look at me directly on the face.”

You sat up straight and stared at his face. You saw the bags on his under eyes becoming darker and the pimple patches around his nose. When he smiled, you saw there was one more pimple patch underneath his lip.

“Well, fine. You look stressed. I believe you don’t get pimples, yet here you are, wearing pimple patches to a dinner.” You deadpanned, pointing at the patches around his face.

He laughed at your words and swatted your hand away. “It’s normal to have pimples, but I never thought I’d start breaking out now.”

“Don’t be too stressed. You know it’s bad for the health,” you said before going back to eating. “You should take your advice too, honey,” Jaehyun chuckled and mimicked what you were doing.

You rolled your eyes as he also reached for the plate of meat you were holding. “Yeah, you don’t have to remind me of that. Now please, can I have some meat?”

“Jaehyun! Are you teasing Essie?” You heard Johnny comment, probably because he saw how irked you were. Jaehyun let go of the plate of meat and watched you take it for yourself.

No one answered Johnny’s question, and the night continued with everyone catching up on their endeavors.

---

FIN

P.S. That was a lame-ass ending, but my mind stopped working after that. I had to get the tension out of the way hehe.