The Friend Finally Randomly Replied.... With The Typical Conversation Occurring Of

The friend finally randomly replied.... with the typical conversation occurring of

Me: *reaches out*

Her: *leaves on read for a few days then replies* I was distant because I thought you should reflect on your actions.

Me: What actions??

Her: The fact you dont even know is why I distanced.

Me: I'm sorry. You didnt tell me something upset you so how would I know? People dont always know something they do or say upsets you. Thats something you have to communicate so we can clear the air/work on it.

Her: Here we are again with you simply not knowing youre wrong. It's all here in our chat.

Me: You. Didnt. Tell. Me. But also it's in the chat? You mean the chat where I told you that you upset me with how you spoke to me? The chat where I bared my heart and mind about having pots and being neurodivergent? About how you treated my medical issues and mental struggles as character flaws instead of what they are, medical conditions? How you spoke to me in a very ableist manner repeatedly when I tried in vain to explain that I wasnt blowing you off xyz times because I didnt care but that because I was having flare ups in symptoms? THAT chat? Because you getting upset that I was honest with you about how you made me feel and why is your problem not mine.

You being a neurotypical, indirect, ableist, holier than thou, MEANIE, is your problem not mine. I was sitting here grieving the loss of a long-time friendship for 2 months because you couldn't be bothered to communicate with me like an adult. I literally do not understand people. I dont understand how you think the way you're treating me is totally okay. I was depressed as fuck but now I'm just more hurt and angry.

Angry that you refuse to accept that someone you were friends with for years decided to confide in you that they were autistic+adhd+pots. Officially verbalizing it. To you. And you just.... shut me out like I was trash. How fucking dare you. How absolutely fucking dare you.

I'm heartbroken, still. Which you don't deserve. I'll miss you terribly. Which you dont deserve. My kids will miss your kids, which is depressing for them as I have a total of 3 mom friends with kiddos their age which is now only 2 I guess. (Not including my new tumblr mom bestie who we havent actually chatted chatted cuz, I'm shy as fuck in the beginning of friendships. But I digress.)

I just.... I'm so hurt. I am so hurt. She doesn't.... even understand how hurtful she is and that's worse. Fucking ironic considering I communicate with her clearly about what upsets me and why and yet it simply doesnt sink in what I'm saying. She simply COULDNT be the reason I'm upset and hurt.

I can't even think anymore right now. This is too much. Honestly I was starting to accept the no contact and her replying with more ableist shit just reopened the wound.

there's something so raw and soul crushing about spending your late childhood+teen years suicidal then growing up and actually wanting to live, after an ungodly effort, only to see your health deteriorate because of chronic illness.

old gods are waking

Chronically ill mamma here if you wanna connect!!

Why is it that when you suddenly become chronically ill, you can feel so lonely and disconnected from everyone? Is it just me, or is this feeling part of the journey of figuring out who you are now that you have limitations you’re struggling to accept?

Since February, I’ve noticed my health declining, even after I switched to a Mediterranean diet and managed to lose about 50 lbs. But then the pain kicked in, making it hard to walk some days. And when summer arrived, things got tougher. I started developing a butterfly rash and other rashes every time I was in the sun, which hurt even though I never got sunburned. I used to be the kind of person who would tan effortlessly after just ten minutes in the sun. This summer, I felt more like a vampire, trying to avoid sunlight at all costs. I even bought a cute little parasol so I could enjoy being outside when I needed to.

I feel like I’ve been stuck in the grieving phase, realizing that this isn’t just going to go away. I need to learn how to navigate daily life while managing chronic illness. Yes, I’m sad, and yes, everything hurts all the time, but just sitting around feeling down isn’t going to change anything. I really want to find a way out of this pit of despair and move toward acceptance.

Part of me thinks I need to ignite some passion within myself. But where do I start? Maybe I should be more open about what I’m going through. I’m working hard at being a good stay-at-home mom, but it can feel overwhelming. Since I can’t work at the moment, why not focus on personal growth? I’ve got a big house that usually stays pretty tidy, but I struggle with finding a consistent schedule. My ADHD loves order, but my body doesn’t always cooperate.

I genuinely want to be a great mother and partner at home. I want to lighten the load for everyone else so that I feel like I contribute something meaningful. Finding that purpose is key for me—I want to wake up excited to take on the day, even if I have a flare-up. Maybe it’s a bit of a dream, but why not give it a shot?

I’ve been searching for other moms who may not have it all figured out at home but are managing chronic illness while trying to improve themselves. I couldn’t find any! If you know of anyone, please DM me, tag them, or let me know how I can connect. So what’s my next step?

First up: shifting my mindset. I need to stop wallowing and start making a plan. Just changing my perspective and looking for the positives helps a lot (especially when I'm not on prednisone; it makes it easier to not feel sad or angry).

Next, I might try a brain dump—writing down everything I want to accomplish around the house, including what a 'perfect' schedule would look like. Then, I can color-code tasks based on importance, so I know what to focus on each day. On days when I’m flaring, I can start with the essentials and see how much I can do after resting.

I’m still in the early stages, but I wanted to share my thoughts with you. If anyone has ideas or strategies that work for them, I’d love to hear your suggestions!

Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings! I’m thinking about documenting my journey as a stay-at-home mom dealing with ADHD, BPD, and chronic illness. Who knows? Maybe that’ll be the next step!

Uff da... 😞💔

Didn't even give feedback why she wasn't chosen which is the worst

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Bestie interviewed for a job today!!!

Manifesting her success!! The person who interviewed her turned out to be an old mutual friend of ours, so maybe that'll help too.

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