The Friend Finally Randomly Replied.... With The Typical Conversation Occurring Of

The friend finally randomly replied.... with the typical conversation occurring of

Me: *reaches out*

Her: *leaves on read for a few days then replies* I was distant because I thought you should reflect on your actions.

Me: What actions??

Her: The fact you dont even know is why I distanced.

Me: I'm sorry. You didnt tell me something upset you so how would I know? People dont always know something they do or say upsets you. Thats something you have to communicate so we can clear the air/work on it.

Her: Here we are again with you simply not knowing youre wrong. It's all here in our chat.

Me: You. Didnt. Tell. Me. But also it's in the chat? You mean the chat where I told you that you upset me with how you spoke to me? The chat where I bared my heart and mind about having pots and being neurodivergent? About how you treated my medical issues and mental struggles as character flaws instead of what they are, medical conditions? How you spoke to me in a very ableist manner repeatedly when I tried in vain to explain that I wasnt blowing you off xyz times because I didnt care but that because I was having flare ups in symptoms? THAT chat? Because you getting upset that I was honest with you about how you made me feel and why is your problem not mine.

You being a neurotypical, indirect, ableist, holier than thou, MEANIE, is your problem not mine. I was sitting here grieving the loss of a long-time friendship for 2 months because you couldn't be bothered to communicate with me like an adult. I literally do not understand people. I dont understand how you think the way you're treating me is totally okay. I was depressed as fuck but now I'm just more hurt and angry.

Angry that you refuse to accept that someone you were friends with for years decided to confide in you that they were autistic+adhd+pots. Officially verbalizing it. To you. And you just.... shut me out like I was trash. How fucking dare you. How absolutely fucking dare you.

I'm heartbroken, still. Which you don't deserve. I'll miss you terribly. Which you dont deserve. My kids will miss your kids, which is depressing for them as I have a total of 3 mom friends with kiddos their age which is now only 2 I guess. (Not including my new tumblr mom bestie who we havent actually chatted chatted cuz, I'm shy as fuck in the beginning of friendships. But I digress.)

I just.... I'm so hurt. I am so hurt. She doesn't.... even understand how hurtful she is and that's worse. Fucking ironic considering I communicate with her clearly about what upsets me and why and yet it simply doesnt sink in what I'm saying. She simply COULDNT be the reason I'm upset and hurt.

I can't even think anymore right now. This is too much. Honestly I was starting to accept the no contact and her replying with more ableist shit just reopened the wound.

My son started stimming in the other room and it's almost always kicking the floor and I swear to gods it brings back my childhood Jumanji anxiety/flashbacks like

Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhokokok it's fine it's just your toddler chill out

The drums I hear the drums

Hey, unpopular opinion, apparently. But people don’t just “have pain for no reason” doctors say this all the time (especially to women and chronically ill people) and the truth is, Thats literally not possible. Even if your pains are psychosomatic (a word I hesitate to even use because of the way its used so often) there is a reason you are having those pains whether its mental illness, abuse, etc. If your doctor consistently tells you that “well some people just have pain for no reason” get a new doctor. That’s a doctor who is not going to give a shit what your actual symptoms or experiences are.

This would be so nice tbh

Accommodation I should have: someone to follow me around and whisper in my ear, medieval court advisor style, how to correctly respond when presented with different social situations

"My liege, that was a rhetorical question you just heard. Do not answer it."

We deserve this. We really do. When someone is having a mental health crisis the situation needs to be deescalated and remain calm. Scared disoriented individuals do not deserve to be taken to jail or to be shot and killed. We can have this guys, we really can.

Well that friend and I are officially over with. She successfully got me to be the one to end it. So she doesn't feel in the wrong.

I'm over it. I'm over being on the recieving end of purposeful miscommunication. I'm done feeling like my pots and audhd are character flaws.

I'm done BEGGING to be spoken with clearly and effectively whenever there's been a tiff. I'm just done. I'm done. I wish you and your family the best. But we cannot be friends anymore.

I'm going to grieve for a while, for sure. But. It has to be done for my peace. (And clearly for yours too)

My kids are still young enough that they'll get over the loss of friendship with your kids pretty quickly. For that I am thankful.

I just want peace and respect from my future friendships to come. As I'm still hopeful there are more to come.

You're never to old to lose a friend. You're also never to old to make new ones either. Despite how it feels or seems sometimes.