HR Has Consistently Been 56 All Day.

HR has consistently been 56 all day.

Very thankful it's husband's day off. He's been holding down the fort while I was out cold until just a lil while ago.

I'm an idiot.

So tachycardia and high pulse pressure feel about the same to me. I felt this, and assumed I was tachycardic. Collapsed on the couch and husband grabbed my meds to slow down my heart.

Low and behold, my heartrate was actually slow but with high pulse pressure. So because I panicked and didn't check my pulse in my haze before taking my meds, husband will now have to keep a close eye on me for the next while.

I reiterate. I'm an idiot.

(I didn't get any sleep last night and usually when that happens my tachycardia hits a loootttttttttt for the 24 hrs after an insomnia all nighter.)

CHECK YOUR VITALS. NEVER ASSUME.

kids these days don’t know how lethal stagnant water is

Okay we've officially lost one of our only 2 sets of sheets. My husband and I have incredibly sensitive skin and the only sheets we use are stupid expensive.

If anyone can help us get a new set of sheets we'd be immensely grateful. They're currently $70. Fucking yikes. & that's the cheaper one, the other is $115. The audacity.

Thanks for reading. If you can't help, signal boost please!!

Venmo

I'm trying to sell some clothes and misc stuff to chip away at it but my wardrobe/stuff is not worth a lot 🫠

Oh my gods why does my brain do this to me I just took a swig of the last of the water from my glass from last night that I had left in the living room and as I downed the big gulp my brain went "TOE JUICE"

Why?!

Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy

How very dare you

Brain

Storpit

It is 7am you bastard thought

Words cannot properly express how much I hate being neurodivergent sometimes.

I HAVE to shower. Every day. If I do not. I am not okay.

Due to pots primarily, I overheat in my sleep. So literally every day I wake up I have got to shower. I can feel every inch of skin every strand of hair covered from sweat residue.

If I cannot wash that off every day. I become overstimulated immediately and extremely unhinged. I cannot think I cannot focus my mood is extremely negative I simply cannot function with that sensory status.

Today was day 3 of not having been able to shower (due to spoons and being a parent) and I snapped. I was shaking and crying and even yelled at inanimate shit in my house because I wanted to rip my hair out and shred my skin.

I finally had enough and I got into the shower.

Stood there a moment. Shaking. Crying. Bitching. Then berating myself for being such an unhinged pos. I got lightheaded and sat down. Cried more.

I have a little shower thing I say that helps. So I repeated it. Calmed down. Then I stfu and did my routine. Continued to improve. Kept saying my little thing every so often. Kept feeling better. Lighter.

Finally I just got out and did my after routine. Got dressed. I'm lying in bed still feeling stupid for the fact that 60% of my unhinged meltdown was washed away in the shower. My body is now all sensory goodness and we can all get on with our day.

I hate being like this. These not so whimsy sides of neurodivergence. I'm exhausted from the meltdown and from the task of showering itself.

Thanks for reading. Vulnerable snippet of my day today. Hope you're all doing better than I.