"I Wish I Had BPD :3" NO YOU FUCKING DON'T...

"I wish I had BPD :3" NO YOU FUCKING DON'T...

Just today I lost one of my closest friends because I decided me THREATENING TO KILL MYSELF AND REFUSING TO LISTEN TO ANYONE WHO TRIED TO STOP ME FROM KILLING MYSELF was a good way to handle a mental health crisis I was having. And when I tried to apologize because by the time i wanted to reconnect, i realized I fucked up and needed to apologize, they didn't want to fucking hear it, and now most of the people who saw what happened don't want to talk to me anymore over it.

This shit has happened NUMEROUS times in the past, and shit like this is the sole reason why BPD is even medically recognized as one of the hardest disorders to live with (look it up if you don't believe me).

BUT APPARENTLY PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING UNEDUCATED ABOUT BPD THAT THE MINUTE SOMEONE SHOWS A NOT-SO-PRETTY SYMPTOM OF BPD ALL OF A SUDDEN THE PERSON IN QUESTION IS THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD, IT'S FUCKING AWFUL....

I'm shaking rn as I'm making this post, and I'm still getting myself admitted to the ward because I'm still in a fucking crisis, but I just hate how awfully romanticized bpd is, and I wish there was a cure for it because I hate living like this.

I hate losing the only people that actually give a shit about me, I hate lashing out at and leaving people that clearly don't deserve it, I hate mis-perceiving the tiniest flaws in relationships as threats, I FUCKING HATE IT ALL.

And get this: The whole Pumpkin The Gentleman situation and the Melanie Martinez situation are making this shit worse for me because now I have to deal with people's opposing views being misperceived as a threat and therefore ruining relationships I actually care about.

Basically It's a never-ending cycle of me losing people I care about and dealing with the after effects of that, plus my already existing mental health issues that are fucking me over, and I just want to go into a coma rn and forget about all of this.

none of this is funny, having BPD isn't funny, abandonment issues aren't funny, losing friends isn't funny, fuck y'all, goodnight.

And just like that, I have wasted another weekend, in my house, scrolling through social media and arguing with dumbasses on tiktok, and not hanging out with my friends or going out.

I fucking hate my life.

I kin two characters.

Tomoko from Watamote, and OMG Kawaii Angel from Needy streamer Overload.

Both of them got something in common: Internet addiction and mental illness (specifically the kind that makes you hate everyone and believe everyone hates you).

I am probably not okay :3

I want to feel important please 🫧

Normalize lying to your therapist so you won't get admitted to the grippy socks jail.

Im trying to prove a point to my mum

Repost if school has caused:

Anxiety Depression Suicidal thoughts Social anxiety Eating disorders Self harm Stress