Don't You Just Hate When This Happens

don't you just hate when this happens

imagine this

you log into your account. you see that little lightning bolt with a list of new followers and likes and you get all excited.

you get your hopes up, thinking that an actual, real, live human being saw and liked your shit

then you inspect further and it's all FUCKING BOTS

Bad Blood: Garlic Won't Heal Bite Mark Holes (part two of three)

I'm starting to wonder why past!me even tried to write Rocketshipping. You can clearly see me straining to suppress the urge to ship James with characters other than Jessie.

Part one is here.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; colorful language; blood mention; very loose understanding of psychological issues (seriously twelve!me does not seem to understand psychopathy); abuse mention; out-of-character behavior for James, Meowth, and Mondo (Mondo starts acting like lovestruck Meowth towards James for a bit); absolute character assassination of Jessie (she’s Elizabeth Báthory now); just vampire things 🧛; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (my favorite whumpee)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(Mondo's point of view)

We stopped running to rest for a while. We were going to start running again soon because Jessie would be after her "Child."

I set James down on some soft grass. I realized how pretty and sweet he was. How could Jessie mistreat him? He had stood by her, even in life and death situations. He was so loyal and gentle.

James began to come to. "Where am I?" he asked. His voice was quiet and weak.

"You're away from Jessie," I said.

James tried to sit up. I held him down.

"Don't sit up. Just rest," I said.

James lay back down again.

Meowth came over to me. "Isn't he going to be a vampire?" he asked.

"No. Jessie didn't get enough blood and he'd have to drink some of her blood," I said.

Just in case we were wrong, we gave him some garlic water.

We got back on the road again. James seemed to be breathing heavily, as if he was being put through labor.

James tripped and fell. He didn't get up.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's nothing," James said.

Right after he said this, he threw up.

"You look drained, Jimmy," Meowth said.

Meowth was right. James's skin was white as his uniform.

"I'm just a little under the weather," James said, right before vomiting again.

Needless to say, we had to find somewhere to stay.

-O-o-O-

We were going to the next town when Meowth scratched his leg on a rock.

"Ow! The fuck was that?!" he yelled.

He noticed he'd scratched his leg. It was bleeding.

I just remembered at that moment that James would faint at the sight of blood.

James got out his first aid kit and started to bandage Meowth's leg. I didn't have any first aid supplies with me.

James bandaged and cleaned Meowth's leg. He looked even more unwell than before. He then picked Meowth up and comforted him.

I thought of Meowth as a senior teammate, but James seemed to think of him as someone much closer.

(Meowth's point of view)

We got into a motel late at night.

When we got into the room, Mondo and I had a talk with James about why Jessie abused him.

"So, James, it's not your fault she's a psychopathical vampire. I don't know why she's like that, but it's not your fault," I said.

James still looked confused, but he seemed to understand. He still had a serious, hurt look on his face.

"But what'll happen to her?" he asked.

This was the one question we tried to avoid.

"She'll be taken away," Mondo said.

"Where?"

"To the mental institution."

"Why is she a psychopath?"

We never thought James would ask this question because we thought we explained it. "It's just her usual mental….thing," I said.

"I'm usually with her," James said.

I couldn't look at James anymore. I didn't want to see him cry.

"So it is my fault. I knew it. I'm such a screw-up, I messed up Jessie," James whispered. "I'm useless!"

To my surprise, Mondo went over to James and said, "No, you aren't! Some people are just like that."

"If Jessie goes crazy in the mental institution, she could get sent to jail. We would never see her again," I thought aloud.

James burst into tears and ran crying into the bathroom.

"Maybe he wasn't ready for it," Mondo said.

I looked at the closed bathroom door. I heard loud sobbing coming from it.

Maybe James should tell Jessie his true feelings.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: A regular, non-supernatural jail can definitely keep a vampire contained, especially a vampire that can dig her way out of pretty much anything (and spends most of her time digging holes for other people to fall into).

y'all wanna see James and Meowth's experiment in action?

too hot for tumblr fanart below the cut

you have been warned

This is how the Meowth kittens are made

James is wearing socks because it's kinkier that way

The Prophet of Moltres or: What if James thought Moltres was Azor Ahai?

i see (un)dead people

It's a strange coincidence that I'm posting this set of pictures around the same time as that "Bad Blood" vampire oldfic.

James made up with the bees. For now.

Looks like the "Vampire Nexus" trait is kicking in.

Meowth lets the wrong one in. Vlad, welcome to Bad Decision Theater, starring Jessie, James, and Meowth!

And this is why he was the wrong one (well, one of the reasons why). You come onto my lot and kick over my trash can,

"Meowth, your new acquaintance keeps hissing at us and flashing his fangs. Should we be concerned?"

"He's just a little eccentric, that's all. You and James should be used to that by now."

"This was definitely a good decision."

The lot gets its spooky on. A ghost appears.

Nobody told them this lot was the site of a massive pool ladder and bookcase fire "accident" and that's why it was so cheap.

Team Rocket, where are your manners? Just because your guests are dead people doesn't mean you can ignore them and go to bed.

Eventually, James came out to get a glass of water and was met with this.

I don't think he likes this arrangement.

"Your neck looks delectable. So soft and full of blood."

"Why would he say that?"

Vlad eventually left, but the problems didn't.

"Mew's Tongue, those aren't Zubat!"

One of them bit him. Fortunately, the only harm it caused was a negative moodlet.

Kitty Meowth wasn't in this set because he likes to run off and have his own adventures off-lot (he comes back when it's time for food).

the mighty moltres, our man-mother of the everlasting blaze

help i think i can make a religion out of this