Don't You Just Hate When This Happens

don't you just hate when this happens

imagine this

you log into your account. you see that little lightning bolt with a list of new followers and likes and you get all excited.

you get your hopes up, thinking that an actual, real, live human being saw and liked your shit

then you inspect further and it's all FUCKING BOTS

insulting your own work (art or writing or whatever) super openly, especially directly on your work is also insulting everyone who sees and enjoys it. you're essentially calling them a liar or telling them that they have shit taste.

i think abt this a lot (and it helped me stop being an asshole abt my own writing), but i'm especially bitter when it's people who have commission stuff all over. like. you say your stuff is worth buying, but you're calling it awful? do you see what you're saying?

i know it's not always that simple to realize, but still. ghghgh.

Toxic Rocketshipping: Jessie Is Just the Worst Fortune Teller (part three of three)

This fic is possibly Not Safe For Life.

Please heed the warnings.

Part one is here. Part two is here.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; gross misunderstanding of slavery; violence; sexual abuse; Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; silly, middle-school romance writing; the twerps witness something horrible; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jessie manages to be anti-choice and pro-abortion at the same time; very shaky understanding of psychological issues; mpreg mention; crucifixion mention; oddly-placed musings on spirituality; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (Jesus and Hades had nothing to do with this you leave them out of it)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

"James, wake up!"

I came to at the sound of Meowth's voice.

"What just happened? Was that a dream?" I asked. I was lying on the bed with an ice pack on my forehead.

"You fainted. Right after I told you I liked you," Meowth said. I thought he still sounded shy and maybe a little bit hurt.

It wasn't too good to be true, I thought. I began to feel lightheaded again, so I lay back down.

"You don't like me?" Meowth said. He definitely sounded hurt this time.

"I-I just…" was all I could get out.

"What?" Meowth's voice was still soft.

"I….I love you, too," I whispered.

Then Meowth did something I never thought he'd do.

He kissed me. I kissed him back.

We were kissing on the lips.

It just felt right, even though it was wrong. No. It wasn't wrong. We both wanted it.

When our mouths parted, I was practically paralyzed.

Meowth hugged me and started French kissing me. I wouldn't have liked it if it were someone else, but Meowth's mouth was perfectly clean. His breath tasted like mint.

We stopped. We just stared at each other.

"Wow," was all I could say.

Meowth blinked. His large cerulean eyes had a look in them that said, "Did I do that?"

I looked around. Jessie was nowhere to be found.

"Jessie isn't here," I said.

"That's a relief," Meowth said.

We were safe.

-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

The trouble started that night.

Jessie called James into her room for some "slave business." James went in reluctantly.

It was silent for a while until I heard a scream.

I was hiding in Jessie's closet, so I peeked out of the crack in the door. James was lying down on the bed, tied down. Jessie was touching his groin.

"Get off of me! Stop it!" James was screaming.

Jessie pulled James up by his shirt. "Do not resist me. Unless you want things to get ugly," Jessie said. She flung James back down.

That did it.

"If you wanna talk ugly, go look in a mirror," I said, coming out of the closet.

"Damn you!" yelled Jessie. She hit James across his face hard.

Jessie started to unzip James's fly.

"Let me go!" James screamed.

Then, like things weren't bad enough, guess who comes in?

Team Twerp.

"We heard screaming and thought there might be—What the hell is going on with you three?!" Ash yelled.

All this was probably too much for James. He burst into tears.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, while holding James.

"I already told you. We heard screaming and thought someone was being killed or something," Ash said.

Misty had come over to James to comfort him.

"What has she been doing to you?" Misty asked.

James was crying too hard to answer, so I said, "Jessie bought him."

"She bought him?! With a title deed?!" Misty was shocked.

James nodded through his tears.

"That's fucked up," she said.

"She made him her sex slave," I said.

"That's an invasion of privacy! Why would she want to do such awful things to James?" Misty said.

"I don't know. She must be a horny psychopath," I said.

Ash and Brock had to hold Jessie back from sexually abusing James.

That wasn't pretty.

-O-o-O-

Jessie had to be locked up in her room so she couldn't attack James.

Team Twerp stayed with us. They just wanted to help if anything happened.

"Good guys don't usually help bad guys," I said.

"Well, we're not your usual good guys," said Ash.

Jessie started banging on the door of her room. James and I went to the door.

"What are you banging for?" James asked timidly.

"Look under the fucking door and you'll see," Jessie yelled.

James looked under the door. There was a sheet of paper. He gave me a look that said, "What do you think this could be?"

When he turned over the paper and looked at it, he turned completely white.

"That will be you and Meowth one day," Jessie said.

James had dropped the sheet of paper on the floor and staggered into the bathroom. I heard loud vomiting noises coming from the bathroom.

I picked up the paper. On it was the most fucked up thing I ever saw.

It was a crudely drawn picture of the three of us. I was nailed to a cross with my eyelids taped open. That was bad enough, but next to my crucifixion, was a worse picture. Jessie was kicking a very pregnant-with-kittens James in the stomach. James was screaming. There was a red line coming from between James's legs.

Scary.

Written under it was, "I know your secret. This is your future."

Nasty.

I walked right back to Jessie's door.

"Why did you draw that nasty picture of James and me?" I asked.

"Because both of you are Pokébestial freaks and you need to know what's coming," Jessie said.

"What makes you think either of us would let that happen?"

"One day, you're gonna wake up after fucking James's ass and know the picture was right."

I wasn't getting anywhere, so I just decided to give up.

James had come out of the bathroom and into our room. He fell onto the bed.

"How could she have found out about yesterday?" I asked myself.

I guess James must've heard because he said, "She must've heard us kissing."

We were silent for a while.

I sat by where James was lying down.

"Meowth?" James said.

"Yes, James?" I said.

"I've come to a realization. I don't belong with Jessie. I belong with you." James looked up at me. His eyes shone like emeralds. "I've found a place where I belong."

I imagined what James had been going through. He didn't belong with snooty rich people, but he didn't belong with Team Rocket. This was like the ending of a quest to find his place in life, like a spiritual kind of thing.

That whole experience had brought us together.

-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

Meowth cleverly managed to buy me back. He ripped up the title deed and set me free.

Jessie was sent to a mental institution. She is on parole right now.

Caveat emptor, Jessica Romanova.

Meowth and I were together at last.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Don't try to buy your friends. No, literally don't try to buy your friends, they're not property holy shit.

Bad Blood: Garlic Won't Heal Bite Mark Holes (part two of three)

I'm starting to wonder why past!me even tried to write Rocketshipping. You can clearly see me straining to suppress the urge to ship James with characters other than Jessie.

Part one is here.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; colorful language; blood mention; very loose understanding of psychological issues (seriously twelve!me does not seem to understand psychopathy); abuse mention; out-of-character behavior for James, Meowth, and Mondo (Mondo starts acting like lovestruck Meowth towards James for a bit); absolute character assassination of Jessie (she’s Elizabeth Báthory now); just vampire things 🧛; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (my favorite whumpee)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(Mondo's point of view)

We stopped running to rest for a while. We were going to start running again soon because Jessie would be after her "Child."

I set James down on some soft grass. I realized how pretty and sweet he was. How could Jessie mistreat him? He had stood by her, even in life and death situations. He was so loyal and gentle.

James began to come to. "Where am I?" he asked. His voice was quiet and weak.

"You're away from Jessie," I said.

James tried to sit up. I held him down.

"Don't sit up. Just rest," I said.

James lay back down again.

Meowth came over to me. "Isn't he going to be a vampire?" he asked.

"No. Jessie didn't get enough blood and he'd have to drink some of her blood," I said.

Just in case we were wrong, we gave him some garlic water.

We got back on the road again. James seemed to be breathing heavily, as if he was being put through labor.

James tripped and fell. He didn't get up.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's nothing," James said.

Right after he said this, he threw up.

"You look drained, Jimmy," Meowth said.

Meowth was right. James's skin was white as his uniform.

"I'm just a little under the weather," James said, right before vomiting again.

Needless to say, we had to find somewhere to stay.

-O-o-O-

We were going to the next town when Meowth scratched his leg on a rock.

"Ow! The fuck was that?!" he yelled.

He noticed he'd scratched his leg. It was bleeding.

I just remembered at that moment that James would faint at the sight of blood.

James got out his first aid kit and started to bandage Meowth's leg. I didn't have any first aid supplies with me.

James bandaged and cleaned Meowth's leg. He looked even more unwell than before. He then picked Meowth up and comforted him.

I thought of Meowth as a senior teammate, but James seemed to think of him as someone much closer.

(Meowth's point of view)

We got into a motel late at night.

When we got into the room, Mondo and I had a talk with James about why Jessie abused him.

"So, James, it's not your fault she's a psychopathical vampire. I don't know why she's like that, but it's not your fault," I said.

James still looked confused, but he seemed to understand. He still had a serious, hurt look on his face.

"But what'll happen to her?" he asked.

This was the one question we tried to avoid.

"She'll be taken away," Mondo said.

"Where?"

"To the mental institution."

"Why is she a psychopath?"

We never thought James would ask this question because we thought we explained it. "It's just her usual mental….thing," I said.

"I'm usually with her," James said.

I couldn't look at James anymore. I didn't want to see him cry.

"So it is my fault. I knew it. I'm such a screw-up, I messed up Jessie," James whispered. "I'm useless!"

To my surprise, Mondo went over to James and said, "No, you aren't! Some people are just like that."

"If Jessie goes crazy in the mental institution, she could get sent to jail. We would never see her again," I thought aloud.

James burst into tears and ran crying into the bathroom.

"Maybe he wasn't ready for it," Mondo said.

I looked at the closed bathroom door. I heard loud sobbing coming from it.

Maybe James should tell Jessie his true feelings.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: A regular, non-supernatural jail can definitely keep a vampire contained, especially a vampire that can dig her way out of pretty much anything (and spends most of her time digging holes for other people to fall into).

the mighty moltres, our man-mother of the everlasting blaze

help i think i can make a religion out of this

a quick sketch of a ship kitten