Insulting Your Own Work (art Or Writing Or Whatever) Super Openly, Especially Directly On Your Work Is

insulting your own work (art or writing or whatever) super openly, especially directly on your work is also insulting everyone who sees and enjoys it. you're essentially calling them a liar or telling them that they have shit taste.

i think abt this a lot (and it helped me stop being an asshole abt my own writing), but i'm especially bitter when it's people who have commission stuff all over. like. you say your stuff is worth buying, but you're calling it awful? do you see what you're saying?

i know it's not always that simple to realize, but still. ghghgh.

a cat always lands on his feet

Meowth in my old fics, apparently: This cat always lands on Jimmy's feet.

Bad Blood: Jessie Is A Crazy Ass Vampire. Yep, That's The Fic (part one of three)

Another story in which I try to write Rocketshipping and fail spectacularly. I seem to have done this a lot.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; colorful language; violence; sexual abuse; blood mention; bizarre focus on James’s virginity (because of course there is); very loose understanding of medical and psychological issues; out-of-character behavior for James and Meowth; absolute character assassination of Jessie (she's Elizabeth Báthory now); just vampire things 🧛; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (blame it on the Strix, grabbin people's dicks, blame it on the au-au-au-au-au-Aufhocker)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(Meowth's point of view)

We knew Jessie was violent.

Our conversations seemed to be centered on revenge and fantasies of bathing in our enemies' blood.

We didn't really think about it that much. We thought she was just high on crack or watching too many horror movies.

We were horribly wrong.

(James's point of view)

Jessie really started scaring us. She kept trying to bite me. I tried to hide, but where could I hide in a tent?

Once, I went to bed and woke up with my pants off and Meowth guarding me. As soon as I noticed my lower half was showing, I squealed and pulled my pants back on.

"She tried to have sex with you. But she didn't get any part of your family jewels. You're still a virgin, James," Meowth said.

I was turning bright red. I knew because I felt my face get hot. I'm pretty sure I was as red as Jessie's hair.

Or blood.

I went into the bushes. My whole body was shaking. I threw up.

Meowth came out. "Are you all right?"

"No," I said.

"It's Jessie, isn't it? She tried to bite you and hump you," Meowth said.

I couldn't help gasping at the word "hump."

"I think….Jessie might be a vampire," I said.

"That's a little farfetched," Meowth said.

I believed him so I didn't think about it anymore.

(Meowth's point of view)

James and I were glad we were out in the woods because we could easily run away if Jessie got out of hand.

She did.

One night, after a messed up Pikachu plan, Jessie started cursing out James.

"You stupid bitch! How the fuck could you fuck up such an easy plan? What the fuck was so hard to understand about our cunting plan?" she yelled.

James was in tears as he screamed, "I tried my best! It would've been better without the pitfall!"

Jessie backhanded James across his face. James was knocked over.

Suddenly, I heard a rustle in the bushes. Jessie and James didn't hear it because human ears aren't as strong as Pokémon ears.

I looked over at the bushes.

"Jessie? What are you doing?!" said a familiar voice.

Mondo came out of the bushes.

Jessie didn't answer him. She just picked up a stick and started to beat James with it. Mondo ran over to her and grabbed the stick.

"What could he have possibly done to make you do this? Why are you beating him up?" yelled Mondo.

"He screwed up a plan for catching Pikachu!" yelled Jessie.

"Just because of that?! That's no reason to try to kill him," Mondo said. "Meowth, what exactly happened?"

I told him exactly what had happened. Every single move and quote.

"None of that was even partly James's fault. Why were you beating him up?" Mondo said.

"I know why," I said.

"Why? Is there something you're not telling me?" Mondo asked.

"Jessie won't tell and I didn't want to scare James, but Jessie's a psychopathical vampire," I said.

"But….Vampires aren't real," Mondo said.

"She keeps trying to bite James with her fangs," I said.

Suddenly we heard a scream. Jessie was holding James by his shirt and brushing his hair away from his neck.

"Jessie, don't!"

(Mondo's point of view)

Jessie touched James's family jewels.

That did it.

I tried to get Jessie off of James, but Jessie was too strong.

"Get off of me!" James screamed. He struggled, unsuccessfully, to get out of Jessie's hold.

Jessie bit James.

Meowth threw a rock at her ass.

Jessie got off James. James fell to the ground, unconscious.

Jessie got out her paper fan and—whack!

Meowth should wear a helmet.

I got James and his things. They were all in his backpack, along with his tent. Meowth was packed up, too.

I ran off into the woods, carrying James. Meowth was right behind me. I heard Jessie yelling, "Come back here with my Child of Darkness!"

We were safe from that blood fiend.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Crack is an epidemic in the ranks of Team Rocket as well as in my fic.

One man’s trash (my fic at 2AM after I’ve reread it so many times I’ve become sick of and disillusioned by it) is another man’s treasure (my fic a few days later when I’m looking at it with fresh eyes and realizing it’s actually not that bad, perhaps even pretty good).

i see (un)dead people

It's a strange coincidence that I'm posting this set of pictures around the same time as that "Bad Blood" vampire oldfic.

James made up with the bees. For now.

Looks like the "Vampire Nexus" trait is kicking in.

Meowth lets the wrong one in. Vlad, welcome to Bad Decision Theater, starring Jessie, James, and Meowth!

And this is why he was the wrong one (well, one of the reasons why). You come onto my lot and kick over my trash can,

"Meowth, your new acquaintance keeps hissing at us and flashing his fangs. Should we be concerned?"

"He's just a little eccentric, that's all. You and James should be used to that by now."

"This was definitely a good decision."

The lot gets its spooky on. A ghost appears.

Nobody told them this lot was the site of a massive pool ladder and bookcase fire "accident" and that's why it was so cheap.

Team Rocket, where are your manners? Just because your guests are dead people doesn't mean you can ignore them and go to bed.

Eventually, James came out to get a glass of water and was met with this.

I don't think he likes this arrangement.

"Your neck looks delectable. So soft and full of blood."

"Why would he say that?"

Vlad eventually left, but the problems didn't.

"Mew's Tongue, those aren't Zubat!"

One of them bit him. Fortunately, the only harm it caused was a negative moodlet.

Kitty Meowth wasn't in this set because he likes to run off and have his own adventures off-lot (he comes back when it's time for food).

y'all wanna see James and Meowth's experiment in action?

too hot for tumblr fanart below the cut

you have been warned

This is how the Meowth kittens are made

James is wearing socks because it's kinkier that way