Poetic-little-soul - [P ] - Tumblr Blog

Make Believe

Let’s pretend that you’re never like this.

That self loathing and pity

Aren’t the only things riddling your mind

Come morning time.

That by nightfall you’re not a

Boiling pot of hatred and disgust for the day.

Let’s pretend that you don’t exist

Just for the negativity to eat away at you.

That somewhere along the way you don’t

Expect everything to go up in flames

And for people to leave you as fast as

The ash in the wind does.

I know it’s hard to pretend to such extremes,

To act like the world isn’t against you

And every action isn’t meant to break you.

But for one moment let’s just pretend,

That some day you can be whole again…

That some day you’ll find yourself again.

-S.Lilobell (We’re all just playing make believe anyway.)

“His kiss tasted of warm vanilla and bloody tea leaves. Intoxicating to the mind but deadly to the soul…

… And I let him devour me.”

-S.Lilobell (Poison is just love, coated to perfection.)

It was you.

In the middle of the night

With only a sigh in the air,

It was you.

-S.Lilobell (How could it ever be anyone else?)

“I need someone to understand that I get incredibly cold sometimes and it’ll take more than your warmth to pull me from those depths.”

-S.Lilobell (An ocean of thoughts and I’m drowning.)

Heart shaped bruises

And lullaby tears.

Whisper more excuses

So no one can hear

All of your broken screams

And mangled up fear.

Call it LOVE

But the damage is clear.

-S.Lilobell (Abusive words are more sincere.)

I want to kiss you

Until all you can see

Is a land full of stars

And a sky full of galaxies.

-S.Lilobell (Only then will you know what I mean when I say “I love you.”)

“Maybe I wanted the world to see me because I’m still waiting for you to.”

-S.Lilobell (Am I beautiful to you yet?)

Never mine.

You belong to the earth.

You will breath it in and out

And it will become part of you

For the rest of your existence.

And I will be there too

But you do not belong to me.

You belong to the scars

Deceptively scattered on your body.

The remnants of a war

You were forced into as a child.

I have those too,

But you do not belong to me.

You belong to your emotions.

The gut wrenching anger

Used to throw words like knives

Because you were taught hatred.

And I will be your target,

But you do not belong to me.

You belong to yourself.

Safe and sound behind walls

Built from your disassociation

Because control is easier than surrender.

And I will belong to you too,

….but you do not belong to me.

S.Lilobell (…And maybe you never will.)

Your name has dripped from my pen more times than I can count.

In gorgeous, leather bound journals and on the back of used up receipts.

You are everywhere and yet no where at all…

This is what it means to be a memory.

-S.Lilobell (Things I would rather forget.)

Someone once told me I was made of galaxies. 

Since then I have not stopped being a home for dying stars.

-S.Lilobell (This void feels like love.)

Maybe if I knew you needed me I wouldn’t question whether or not The sunrise was worth watching If it meant watching it alone.

-S.Lilobell (Who knew it could be beautiful and empty all at once?)

We’re shifting

And the ground beneath us,

That was once so solid,

Has begun to give way. 

I can feel the vibrations 

From the earth go up my

Feet and shake my bones. 

I’m scared this is it for us,

But you’re smiling and telling me

Everything will be okay.

S.Lilobell (What kind of earthquake smiles like that?)

La Fleur

“He loves me..

He loves me not..”

One by one the petals fall.

The flower becomes bare.

The answer’s apparent,

Though heartbreaking.

And the stem hits the ground

On the last

“He loves me not..”

-S.Lilobell (What does a flower know anyway?)

Love isn’t supposed to attack with sharpened swords and pointed arrows… 

It’s supposed to soften the blows so you don’t feel like dying over it.

S.Lilobell (Why does your love feel like death?)

Let’s pretend there are words between us

Instead of this deafening silence. 

I'd rather parade around in masks

Than deal with the strangers that we are. 

Even if it's false hope that leads me, 

Even if the love we feel is expired, 

Just let me believe it to be true...

That in some other world we could have made it.

S.Lilobell (I’m scared we are catastrophic in every universe.)

Im so goddamn tired of hurting myself in hopes that you’d feel it too. These scars deserve a better reason than you.

S.Lilobell (I hope they don’t spell out your name.)

Rain kills too. 

Maybe there is a tranquility in the rain,

That sings a soft lullaby to the lonely

And whispers sweet nothings to the confused. 

Maybe it rocks your soul to sleep

When all you can think of are misfortunes

And how love tastes better out of a bottle. 

Maybe each drop renews your sense of security. 

Or maybe there’s a blasé ring to it

That’s so deafening it puts the broken on edge.

Maybe the rain kills in such a beautiful way

People find it soothing,

While others suffer silently. 

S.Lilobell (I’m drowning in what you call “beautiful weather”)

We are just ghosts living in a lifeless corpse. 

The only skeletons left are the ones in your closet

And I wonder if you think of me

When you dance with them. 

-S.Lilobell (Or have you moved on to warmer bodies?)

The thing is…

She didn’t need you. 

She had a fire within her soul

That kept her warm when

Loneliness threatened to freeze her. 

She had the world in her smile 

And the moon on her tongue. 

She was everything she ever needed…

…but holy fuck

Did she want you. 

S.Lilobell (I’ve learned that sometimes love isn’t enough.)

You’re like an echo I’m waiting to hear back from…

…but at this point I think I’m talking to myself.

S.Lilobell (What did you think talking to the darkness would be like?)

I’m just a tool on one of your endless hooks. 

Hung to show that everything has a place

And as long as I stay in mine..

I can be loved.

S.Lilobell (Do not love outside of the lines.)

He was more comfortable buried under a stone 

Than he was bathing in the sun. 

And I was a dying flower in need of some kind of light. 

But he was sinking me,

Suffocating me with control instead of love. 

And I’m terrified of this grave he calls a life.

S.Lilobell (The story of my tombstone)

It’s starting to feel the same again..

Like a tightness in my bones that threatens to snap them if I move just one more inch.

Like a pressure forcing me down into the bed, sinking me slowly, ready to suffocate me at another breath.

Like these words are lodged in my throat, choking what little life I had left out of me and my hands are too numb to pull them out.

Like the person down on one knee in front of me is offering far worse than a ring and the damage is irreversible.

What do I do when it starts to feel the same again?

S.Lilobell (Save me from this eternity.)

“I’ve lost my words from the past decade and now I’m learning to make new ones… will you be my new language?”

-S.lilobell (It takes strength to rebuild a love vocabulary.)