Ruby: Ok, I Get Me And Jaune May Be More Close Than Regular Friends Normally Are-

Ruby: Ok, I get me and Jaune may be more close than regular friends normally are-

Blake: Understatement of the decade.

Ruby: But! I don't see why everyone thinks we're together! We are simply a boy and a girl who platonically enjoy being around the other.

Blake: Ruby, I literally caught you getting railed by, and riding, Jaune around the academy 5 times in less than 2 days.

Ruby: *Hand smacks nothing but air*

Ruby: Wha? B-But how? *Feels an intense presence behind her*

Jaune: Oh, sweet, naïve Ruby...

Jaune: *Raises an aura enhanced hand* Dat ass compels me with power beyond your comprehension.

Ruby: *Walking down a path* Ooh, look at those pretty flowers. *bends over to pick them*

Jaune: ...

Ruby: *Wearing a skirt that's a bit too small, giving Jaune a great view of the Rubooty.*

Jaune: *thinking* Must not slap Ruby's butt.

Ruby: *sways a bit from side to side, giving her butt a nice little jiggle*

Jaune: Please forgive me Ruby. *Raises hand* Becaus I know Yang won't.

SMACK!!!

Roman: Turn around and give me all your money!

Tai: *Put hands up and turns* Ok ok! Please don't shoot.

Roman: Wait... Tai?

Tai: Roman?

Roman: Holy crap!

Tai: Long time no see, man! It's been awhile!

Roman: Yeah, it has. Oh, get down on your knees real quick.

Tai: *Kneels down* Oh right.

Roman: How've you been man?

Tai: Just got back to Vale last week. How about you?

Roman: Oh, I've been great. But hey, you still dating that girl Raven?

Tai: Nah, me and her broke up a while back. But, remember my leader Summer?

Roman: Yeah, I think I remember her.

Tai: *Smiles and reveals wedding ring*

Roman: *Gasps in shock before taking the ring* Wow...

Tai: It's our anniversary today.

Roman: *Pockets ring* Congratulations man.

Tai: Yeah, it's been 3 years already.

Roman: *Looking through Tai's wallet* Yeah, cute kids too.

Tai: Thanks man.

Roman: Alright, well I'm about whack you with my cane, but it was nice seeing you again.

Tai: Yeah, you too.

Roman: *Raises cane* Alright, take care.

Ironwood: Freeze! Put the cane down and put your hands up!

Tai: ... James?

Ironwood: Tai?

Roman: James?

Ironwood: Roman?!

Roman: Oh my god!

Ironwood: I can't believe it!

Tai: The gangs all here!

Jaune: I'm the Hunts-Man, you lunatic. Anyway, you guys got any 'shrooms?

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Bystander: Are you... An angel!?

Jaune: Yeah, sure, whatever... You got any ketamine?

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Jaune: I know you're here, Roman, you big fucking nerd. Where's my goddamn money?

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Grunt #1: Be careful, man. I hear Hunts-Man attacks with all sorts of random bullshit.

Grunt #2: Please. I got him dead to rights. Now to-

Jaune: *Throws something* Random bullshit GO!!!

Grunt #1: Damn you Hunts-Man!

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Jaune: I am the god of light. Hand over your wallet and your ketamine or Remnant is doomed.

Marrow: Fuck off, Hunts-Man. I'm not falling for that one again.

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Jaune: ... Why do I hear Eminem all of a sudden?

Hound: *Looming over him*

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Clover: Someone's hacking the system, but who? Hunts-Man!

Jaune: Where's my goddamn money!?

Harriet: No-one here owes you money, you drunk, crazy asshole. Roman isn't even on the Ace-Ops, so stop calling here.

Jaune: Wait... Roman isn't an Ace-Op?

Jaune: That lying fuck.

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Jaune: You know who I really want to fight? Junior.

Elm: Wait, the asparagus from VeggieTales? Or the crime lord?

Jaune: ... Yes.

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Jaune: Honestly? At this point, I don't even remember why Roman owes me money. But a guy's got to live by a code, you know?

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Vine: It's over, Hunts-Man! I have the high ground!

Jaune: Impossible. Do you even know how many drugs I'm on right now?

Vine: That's not what I-

Jaune: Less talk, more VENGEANCE!!

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Nora: Dammit, Jauney, let someone else have a turn for once!

Jaune: No! Ren is my homie... Only I get to give him a goodnight kiss!

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Jaune: Using my Marine Corps training, I can turn ANYTHING into a weapon! Even this rifle!

Watts: Uh, isn't a rifle already a weapon?

Jaune: *Snaps rifle in half and smacks him across the face* Semper Fi, bitch!

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Jaune: God of Darkness, you fucking nerd! Where's my... Uhhh what are you doing?

G.o.D: Don't let her get me. I didn't mean to look at those lewd hieroglyphics! Forget if gods can bleed. Can a god simp?!

Jaune: What the fuck are you talki-

G.o.D: *Grabs him* I was horny, Jaune Arc. And now, Salem is going to quantum bonk me!

Jaune: Who is going to what now??

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Roman: *Half dead inside of grimm* What? It's impossible. It can't be... A way out! And... the Hunts-Man!?

Jaune: That's right, bitch! Now where's my goddamn money? Don't make me come down there and waterboard you, shitheel.

Yang: Hey Jaune? This bra isn't mine... What's going on?

Jaune: ...

Past!Jaune:

Jaune: ... I'm cheating on you

Arc Sister's: Now, which of us will be the object of your attraction?

Whitley: Hmm... Wow, what great options. This is going to be so hard. 🙄

Jaune: *Walks in* Oh sisters, I'm back from war.

Whitley: Hello sailor!~ 😍