This!

This!

Still can't believe his new gf was born in 2001. Funny how you went up to now down. Must be nice to date someone so much younger than you are. Must have a lot in common too since you're both in your 20s.

Funny how things turn out the way they did.

It happened like its supposed to happen. Can't change it, can't deny it. Can't say it's not happening cause it is. Can't compare either. At the end of the day I was good to you and I'm still good and worthy.

I'm more sad and hurt today. I did something and I knew it was stupid but I did it anyways. I lurked and saw something that caused me more pain and heart ache. I hate this feeling, I hate that another person caused me this pain and hurt. I hate that someone who was my best friend for years would be so cruel and cold towards me towards the end. They claimed to cared and they never wanted to hurt me but that was a lie. If you truly cared and didn't wanting to hurt someone than you should have been truthful. You should have kept your words and you should have been a man about it.

Gone! All those memories of us are now tainted and ugly to me. Maybe one day I can look back and find the good in it again. For the time being those memories just reminds me of the person whom I loved and cared for hurting me.

I'm broken 💔😢

But I'm not letting a POS ruined me or keep me down!! This shitty situation will make me stronger. I'm worthy of love. I'm worthy of having a partner that cares for me. I'm worthy of friendship. IM WORTHY.

From today on I choose to let go and forget. They acted like I didn't exist I'll return the favor. Those years are gone.

I didn't wish them the best because that would be a lie, I didn't wish them the worst either. I simple wished them what they deserve, whether it's good things or bad things, that's between them and karma.

I believe in karma. What you put out is what you'll get in return. I choose to let go and forget. But I'll never forget the feeling they put me through. That stays with you.

My person will come when it's the right time for me. I have faith my forever person will come. This event is only a short, brief chapter in my life.

Yesss.

“You lied. And I think that’s what hurts the most. That I wasn’t worth the truth in your eyes.”

–4:07 PM

Sometimes they were not the right person for you. Even though at the time you thought they were.

Good morning all and happy Friday.

I'm coming to terms with my break up. Why I say "my" break up is because I never fully broken up with him. In my mind and heart. I don't know why I expected him to stay single and not date. That's not fair. I guess I was still hung up onto this notion that there is still an "us" when in reality there is just me. It was because I haven't moved on and he has. Maybe he had already moved away from me emotionally and mentally before he physically did. That's why it's easier for him to move on and not be so broken like I am.

I was still holding on to something that was no longer there. There is no longer an "us", there is no longer him and I, we will never be together again. There's now him and his new person. They get to make memories together while ours is long in the past.

Yesterday was hard. Kept thinking about you and what you were doing. I know you don't like to celebrate your birthday but maybe this new person changed your mind. Maybe you went away together, to spend time together and be with each other. Maybe you just drank because of the situation you placed us both in. I don't know, I don't know because I'm no longer in your life. I'm no longer part of your routines. I'm not longer part of your world anymore. Therefore I'm no longer part of you. It's hard. Three plus years with the same person now suddenly being separated from them completely is hard. Takes time to adjust. Knowing they have someone new is hard to handle as well. That person is with them, know their routines, know their well being, knowing where they are, what they're thinking, what their feelings are. Knowing everything while I know nothing.

But I'm trying to take it day by day. Make peace with reality and let go of what once way. What we once had was beautiful. Can't look back on it now but someday I will be able to and remembered my first love fondly.

Hope everyone have a good weekend. Habe a beautiful day. Stay positive and be blessed for all you have.