Yesss.

Yesss.

“You lied. And I think that’s what hurts the most. That I wasn’t worth the truth in your eyes.”

–4:07 PM

I suddenly missed him very much! All our times together suddenly is rushing back to me. Missed him but hate him at the same time.

Can't forgot about the hurt and betrayal.

His birthday is in 2 days. And this year he'll spend it with someone new. Someone other than me. Making new memories with them. Do they know he doesn't like to celebrate his birthday? He'll probably celebrate with her though. Does things for her that he has never done for me. Different rules for different people I guess. I've been replaced and he has moved on. It'll never be with me again...ever. hurts so much 💔😢

It's your 29th birthday today. I wished I was there to celebrate with you, make new memories with you. But I'm not. Someone else is. You've moved on and have someone new in your life. I no longer occupied your time, space, mind or your heart. Those spaces now have a new occupant, I no longer live there. I've been replaced with someone else. Someone younger, prettier, maybe even better than I was for you. Still hard to accept the reality of it, but it's the truth that I must face and accept.

I'm letting you go, in my mind and my heart. You've been physically gone, but emotionally you were always here with me, although you have already moved on from me. Now I have to emotionally let you go. You've moved on. I need to move on as well.

Happy birthday. I hope your day will be filled with love and happiness. I hope you're happy and at peace. I hope you found what you're looking for in your new home and environment. Should have told you that but I'm telling it to the universe to deliver you the message.

Today will be hard for me but I need to remind myself of my blessing and the good in my life.

Positive thinking, positive energy, positive light, positive me.

Good bye B.

It's been 4 weeks since the betrayal. But I'm done. I'm done crying. I'm done mourning over something that was long gone. My friend really opened my eyes today. The person I once loved and cared for moved away from me mentally and emotionally away from me before they physically moved away. Their words and actions did not aligned with someone who still had "feelings" or "cared" for me. Words are cheap, actions are louder. I see their actions very loud and clear now.

I feel very foolish now thinking back on those last few weeks we spent together. Do I have regrets? Yes. Should I have known better? Yes. Did I hoped we would get back together? Yes. I blurred the lines between thinking we were still in a relationship when in reality all we had was a sexual relationship. My friend was right he was in it just for the sex not because he still had "feelings" for me. Guys can detached their feelings from sex. That's all it was to him a few fucks before he left. Already checked out mentally and emotionally. Did I know they were right for me? No. I invested more love into a person who wasn't willing to invest the same love into me or us, or even themselves.

I see that now. I see their actions loud and clear. I have cried and grief long enough. They will no longer have power over me. I have given them too much power over me. They don't deserve a place in my mind, heart or soul. They are no longer in my life, therefore they no longer matter. They are gone and so are the memories of us.

I have spoken my truth. Now I must begin my healing process. I will be a better person. I will be stronger. I will be love because I deserve love.

I am loved.

I am appreciated.

I am worthy.

I love me.

I love my life.

I love my family and friends.

I love my sense of humor.

I love my smile.

I love me.

I won't wish them all the best because that would be a lie. I don't wish them all the worst either. I simple wish them what they deserve, whether it's good things or bad things, that's between them and karma.

They know what they did. It's on them, not me.

Ain't that the truth

This!