Love Hurts - Tumblr Posts
Love Hurts
Your smile,
And charming laugh.
Those sparkling eyes,
Glimmering bright.
The way that you speak,
Looks you give,
Just to me.
Are a few things,
That I love,
About you.
These things,
Are all blurred within the games,
You play.
The lies you speak,
Effortlessly,
They’ve grown old.
Slowly,
But surely.
I have grown cold.
This is it,
Darling.
Tears come in turns.
Been burned,
Once of twice.
Ya know this isn’t right?
Yeah.
Our time has gone,
And passed on by.
It’s been,
Far too long.
I’m done.
I’m done.
I’m done.
Oh,
Honey,
You’ll learn,
That love hurts.
- (d.n.k)
I don’t think they’ll ever understand. Some people love while others hate. I love so much that I hate myself for it- I deflect. I say things I will never mean because I can’t stand to let myself love someone because I know they’ll never understand.
I cry to myself because if anyone ever knows how much I care they’ll pity me and I can’t stand pity. I can never let them know how I feel because I myself refuse to acknowledge it. I don’t want to try to understand it because I know if I do I’ll hate myself for it.
Why can’t I just love normally? Be normal? Why do I have to feel like this? Why do I have to love them until they hate me and continue to love them for years after?
Why can’t I forget her? She’s the first one I truly loved after learning what it was to love. I guess my heart will never forget. But why? Why do I have to keep hurting myself with the memories of a life I’ll never have again? Why can’t I let her go like I did the others? What’s so special about how I felt for her that I can’t ever forget? What about the first boy I loved? Why doesn’t he matter this much? I loved him for longer than I did her. Why do I still love her so much more than I ever loved him? I haven’t even seen her in years but her face, her voice, they echo in my mind and make me fall in love all over again. Why can’t I just let her go?
One. Two. Five. Ten.
I am counting it over and over again.
Twenty. Fifty. One-hundred and two?
How many times you said you loved me true.
ever saw something that was a literal shot to your heart and cut deeper than ever, that constantly haunts you since that day and just can't shake it off/forget even if it happened several months ago, because it keeps creeping back or is it just me?
every time I accidentally catch them, they look so much happier around them and while talking to them..
and I just can't even watch it, because it makes my heart sink every single time. It feels awful to see that the person they talking with getting everything I have been begging for without them having to ask for it...
when you opened up for them even though you were terrified to do so and you finally believed someone actually likes you this time just to hear they moved on like you meant nothing while you were suffering in silence alone. And hearing from THEM hurts even more. Not sure they said in front of me to finally give me some clarity or just to hurt me one last time tho...
comfort food
(OOC: I swear I'll start answering my asks soooon!)
(RP between Tia Culnamo and Milli Bowyen)
Her head popped up at the knock, but the voice outside was not one she was hoping for. Not that she minded. "Wait, Tia stop," she called with urgency, stumbling across the room to turn off the security system. Fuck, had she remembered to turn it on at the shop? She wasn't sure. Milli opened the door, clothes mostly discarded but for a long-sleeved shirt and her underwear. Her hair was down, unsually, and a mess. She wasn't wearing her eyepiece and the harsh scarring on her face was shown to the light of day. She winced at the light. "What do you need? What's wrong? Are you not feeling well? Should I call for the barber?" She didn't ask about Cia. Bit her tongue to keep herself quiet.
Tia froze at the door when she said to wait, knowing it was likely best not to intrude more than she needed to. The questions, though, caused her brow to quirk. "I'm fine," she assured. Even if she wasn't, Tia was more likely to keep it to herself. Business was one thing, she'd talk to Milli about that but her personal turmoils were her's and her's alone. "I was going to help you with the shop but I guess I was too late. Instead I brought you food," she continued her eyes peering around the woman's home as if she expected it might need cleaning too. There were five boxes in total. Three were fish and chips as Tia expected Ciara would be here. The top two were ribs with a side of fried potatoes and onions and green beans. It was difficult for Tia to find anything on the tavern's menu that included vegetables but she did her best.
"Oh. Good," she said, energy leaking out of her like a deflated balloon. "I cleaned up the shop this morning. Wanted to get it before the blood got too tacky. You can...leave the food on the table or something. I'll eat in a while." She turned and walked back to the bed, laying down and drawing the covers up close around her. She'd just sleep a few minutes more. Then eat. Dress. Go back and check on the shop, make sure it wasn't unprotected.
The parcels found the table as instructed, but Tia didn't leave just yet. She watched as Milli disappeared back into herself. When a person is injured multiple people tend to suffer but only the injured one is healed. Everyone always forgets the loved ones. Tia slid her jacket off, letting it drape neatly over the back of a chair - still filled with her private arsenal. Next she unlaced her boots, placing them side by side next to that same chair. The weight of the bed was momentarily displaced as Tia crawled up behind Milli, wrapping her arms gently around the woman. Her fingers combed slowly through her hair. She didn't bother speaking, Milli had enough going on in her head for that. She just held her and did her best to soothe the woman so she could truly rest.
She wanted to protest, to send Tia away as those kind arms slid around her. She didn't need comfort. Didn't want it or deserve it. She'd hurt Cia. Hurt herself. But, as she'd told Cia before, she had a hard time saying no to people. Especially when she was so fragile. Choking back a sob, Milli turned and buried her head in Tia's neck. She held onto the woman tight, letting out all her wordless pain and fear in those silent, shaking tears. It took a while, but the tears slowed. A while after that, Milli's breathing evened out. And finally, she slept.
Once she was sure Milli had succeeded in finding her slumber she slid from the bed, tucked Milli snuggly under the covers and headed to that chair that had been keeping track of her things. Tia dressed back in her boots and jacket and saw herself out, ensuring the door was locked on her way. She'd be in the shop until Milli came by, doing whatever tinkering needed doing so the shop didn't get behind.
Sadly, not with me. Someone from 2013...fool me once, shame on u, fool me twice, FUCK YOU!
