Dear Crush,

Dear crush,

I just saw it was recently your birthday. Happy birthday. I wish I could tell you that. It makes me mad how sad I am that I missed your birthday. I’m also mad that I’m sad that I can’t just say happy birthday and be fine. I don’t want to break over this. It’s been a month since I blocked you and I thought I was fine. I wish I could just be there for certain things in your life. I miss you still and I hate myself for it. I hope you had a good birthday.

I can feel myself getting bad again and I’m scared.

I miss you. I wish things would have turned out different.

I’m so sick of second guessing everything I do. Every little thing. I just want to feel good about a decision for once and not be afraid of doing something wrong or of being rejected.

I’m having a bad day mentally. I feel like I’ll never be good enough. I feel like no one will ever love me. I feel like I’m made to show love to others but never get it in return. I feel like I’ll never get over him. I feel like I’ll never find the one. I feel like I’ll never be happy again. But tomorrow I will put on a happy face for work and my family and I will hold it all inside.

I’m having a bad day mentally and I just want to break down but I can’t. Too many people awake and around. I can’t talk to my friends bc I already feel like I’m annoying and a burden. Then to try and avoid this hurt my mind goes to him. And I can’t talk to him or anything bc I blocked him. And I can’t unblock him bc then I might get worse. Idk what to do.