One Sided Crush - Tumblr Posts

One thing I’ve realized is him not responding is an answer of its own. That is important bc I always have felt like I need a response for everything to understand what someone is thinking.

Was I really that easy to forget?

I started spiraling when I blocked you. I can’t get as bad as I used to be again. Not because of you.

I’m so confused right now. Nothing has changed except that I am wondering if I could unblock you and be ok. But I know I’m not over you and it still hurts sometimes so the time isn’t right to unblock you. I just miss you. Even though we didn’t talk really and you never liked any of my posts, I liked knowing that you might see them at least. Sometimes I feel pathetic. We’ll see what happens in time.

“I wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips

It's all that I've been thinking about”

-“Can I Be Him” by James Arthur

This song was the main song I listened to last time I liked him, especially after he got a gf. And it broke my heart every time. Still hurts to hear to this day because it brings back all those feelings.

I feel so numb when I think about you now, I’d rather feel sad or something other than this emptiness.

I miss you. I wish things would have turned out different.

Dear crush,

I just saw it was recently your birthday. Happy birthday. I wish I could tell you that. It makes me mad how sad I am that I missed your birthday. I’m also mad that I’m sad that I can’t just say happy birthday and be fine. I don’t want to break over this. It’s been a month since I blocked you and I thought I was fine. I wish I could just be there for certain things in your life. I miss you still and I hate myself for it. I hope you had a good birthday.

I saw something that said after a breakup wait 21 days and you should start to feel if you did the right thing and it should hurt less. I never dated you and only blocked you and it’s been a month. A full month. And I am still hurting just as much. And now I’m wondering if I did the right thing or not. I know I need to not talk to you but what’s the point of blocking you? To prove I could do it? To make you feel like you did something wrong? So you know you hurt me? I need to think some more.

Dear crush,

I dreamt about my soulmate again last night. It’s been awhile but it just shows me that even though right now I’m hurting and struggling, everything is going to be okay and I will get over you. It will be so worth it in the end.

I just want to see you. I wonder what you’d say if we bumped into each other somewhere. Probably nothing.

I’ve been blaming you for my sadness bc it’s easier to blame someone else than to realize that all this hurt is from myself. I’m sorry if that has somehow affected you. I know you never really cared about me so I doubt you care what I do or think. But you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry.

I’m having a bad day mentally and I just want to break down but I can’t. Too many people awake and around. I can’t talk to my friends bc I already feel like I’m annoying and a burden. Then to try and avoid this hurt my mind goes to him. And I can’t talk to him or anything bc I blocked him. And I can’t unblock him bc then I might get worse. Idk what to do.

A few days ago the urge to unblock him became too overwhelming. For me it was a pressure in my chest that was painful. As soon as I unblocked him it was gone and I wasn’t anymore sad than any other day. And I’m still doing ok. Sometimes you have to figure out what’s best for you. Maybe I’ll get bad again but right now I think I did the right thing. Everyone said it would make things worse but right now I feel a little better.

I’m not super sad or hurt when I see you. But I do miss you and I do want to talk to you. But I can’t. I wonder if you noticed I unblocked you. I wonder if you wondered why I did. I wonder if you think of me.

I hate how I compare everyone to you.

Does anyone know if Instagram has a glitch that will change the seen time to a more recent time? A few times the seen has changed for one person. Like two weeks ago it was seen Thursday then after a week went back to seen. Then today it says seen 6 hours ago. Is this person checking the message again or is it just a mean glitch to get your hopes up? Also hopefully replies work on this post if anyone knows lol

You know what sucks? Not only do I constantly want to see you and hug you and talk to you, I constantly want to talk about you to whoever will listen. I want to talk about how I miss you and want to see you. I want to ask people how you’re doing and what you’re up to. It sucks and I hate it.

My hedgehog died today, it’s awful and my heart is broken. And the only thing that I feel like could help even a little is hugging you and talking to you. But I can’t.

Dear crush,

Today is your first game for the year. I saw you are doing good. I can’t watch it for a few reasons. One being it hurts too much. But I want to cheer you on. I want to tell you I’m proud of you. I want to support you. Guess I’ll have to do it from a distance.