Hi... I'm New... I'm So Nervous, But It's Twelve Forty In The Morning, And I Am Feeling Confident? What's

Hi... I'm new... I'm so nervous, but It's twelve forty in the morning, and I am feeling confident? What's that about? Well, I just wanted to let people know that I'm here! Hi! Welcome!

I like to write, so that's what this account is. Probably mostly fanfiction. I like writing readers specifically. And I recently watched the SAW movies, which were amazing, highly recommend. But I kinda fell in love with Adam Faulkner so... I'll be writing about him. But please excuse me for any delays. I have social anxiety, so working up courage will be hard. But I will still do it.

BTW I'm nervous AF, right now, but I am just doing it, otherwise I would never have done it. So, yeah... Please enjoy my stuff... which doesn't exist yet, so... good luck... :)

Happily Ever After - Adam Stanheight X Reader

It was your favorite month. The temperature was perfect, and the trees were beautiful. The sky was exactly the way you wanted, as you marched down the sidewalk. Your favorite shoes skidded across the pavement gently, barely making a sound. You stumbled along, a cool wind blowing at your clothes.

You had left your apartment not long ago to find Adam Stanheight, your boyfriend. He lived across the block from you. Your apartment was in much better shape than his, but considering his current circumstances, the reasons were valid.

Tripping a little bit over your own feet, you came to Adam’s apartment. He had given you a spare key a while back, so you could easily get inside. The only things that disconcerted you were the other people already in the building. They gave you nasty, judgmental, looks. It seemed they didn’t like you being there. This was nothing new, Adam’s neighbors had made it evidently clear that you did not belong here. They hardly let you pass by them without making sharp remarks. Adam was the reason they stopped. Self-consciously, you walked by and up the stairs, to Adam’s room. It was silent all the way there.

When you creaked the door open you were unsatisfied to find the lights turned off, the windows shuttered and Adam’s coat missing from the coat hanger, as well as his shoes missing from their place by the door. You clicked the door closed behind you, and ventured inside hesitantly. “Adam?” Your voice echoed lonely around the entire room. You flicked on the lights.

They buzzed dully, but you didn’t mind. Adam’s camera wasn’t on the coffee table. His ashtray hadn’t been emptied yet today. The smoke scent was strong, but you tried not to think about it.

You checked, halfheartedly, in the bedroom and the bathroom, and - of course - Adam’s dark room. Apparently, he wasn’t home. Where was he?

You had been with Adam for at least three years. You both thought it was best to take things slow for a while, whilst he recovered mentally from Jigsaw’s game. You were proud of him. He had come a long way from where he was before, though sometimes he would still have panic attacks, as was understandable.

Lately though, the two of you had been thinking about moving in together. It was Adam’s idea actually, and you had been surprised when he brought it up. Of course you could understand that his apartment might not be the healthiest place for Adam to be, but it was the only place that had a dark room available. It seemed Adam was ready to leave the trauma of the past behind completely now and start new. You would love to support him through that.

He had asked you to come over today, to maybe help with packing but maybe not; he hadn’t been precise about that. You wandered around for a couple minutes longer, and then figured you had no reason being here, and left.

Standing on the staircase in the wind, you tried to call your boyfriend, but he didn’t pick up his phone. This alarmed you because usually he was quick to answer his calls, especially if it was you calling. You called your best friend. Maybe they would know?

“Hello?”

Yes! You got an answer!

“Hi.”

“Y/N! Oh, W-What do you need?”

You noticed how your friend had stammered.

What the hell?

“Uh…” You said thoughtfully. “I was looking for Adam. Have you seen him?”

“No.” The response was too instantaneous for your liking.

“You haven’t seen him? Do you know where he is?”

Silence on the other end, then, “No.”

“ ‘No’?” You repeated skeptically.

“No,” your bff confirmed.

You frowned. “Well, will you call him for me? He won’t pick up. I tried calling him just now, but I also tried at my apartment.”

“Why don’t you wait? He’ll be back before long. Or are you paranoid that he’s seeing someone else?” There was a suspicious silence and then your friend burst out laughing. “Relax, I’m joking.”

“I am relaxed,” you said matter-of-factly. “You don’t have to tell me that he wouldn’t cheat on me. I know that, you idiot.”

“Awe. Did you hear that? Yeah? I know.”

Your friend was having a conversation with someone else, but you couldn’t hear who it was. You couldn’t hear them at all. “Who are you with?”

“One of the other friends. Now we will have juicy gossip for the group.”

“Right,” you sighed irritably. “Where is Adam? I thought we were going to pack some things so he could move in with me?”

“I don’t know,” your best friend sounded genuine. “Listen, Y/N, I don't know where he went, and I would love to help you but I’m busy right now. I’m sorry. Maybe just wait for him to get back. He’ll answer you when he returns to the apartment.”

“Okay, well, should I start packing up his things, or not?”

“It’s up to you.”

“I’m at his apartment right now.”

“Sure. I mean, he would probably appreciate the help.”

“Really, you’re sure you don’t know where he is?”

Your best friend only said, “I’m sorry, Y/N.” And hung up.

You scowled at the floor in annoyance. That had been uneventful… There was definitely something up with them though. That was some seriously strange behavior.

You gathered up your things once again, and went back inside. This time the hall was empty, no passersby to see you. You were mildly grateful for that.

You started in the living room, examining certain things and contemplating what to do with them. For now, you were just gonna leave everything in its place because you didn’t know how Adam wanted to situate his any of if for moving. You would just consider solutions and strategies and then consult your boyfriend when he got home. Whenever that would be.

Sitting on the couch to get comfortable while you waited, you pushed open the windows. While you tolerated the smoke smell for Adam, this was obnoxious. Why were the windows closed when the scent was so strong? You pushed a window open just as your phone lit up with a message.

You lunged for it, hoping it was Adam. You were disappointed to find that it was just a scam text asking you to click the link to some sketchy porn site. You made a face in disgust. That kind of thing did not hold your interest… Unless of course you were performing with Adam...

You tossed the phone next to you onto the couch, and went back to opening up windows, though your thoughts were now preoccupied about what kind of THINGS you might get up to with Adam, since you were on the subject already…

Unfortunately, you thought reluctantly. Adam isn’t here for me to ‘perform’ anything with.

You spent about fifteen minutes sitting on the couch, trying to figure out packing arrangements. There were already some things put in boxes and sealed away, but mostly everything was piled everywhere. You did notice though, Adam’s camera resting carefully and securely on the breakfast table. It was evident that Adam took more care of his very expensive camera than the rest of his belongings. This did not surprise you.

Absently, you picked it up in your delicate hands, and turned it over a few times. Adam would be panicking if he was here; he got way too anxious if the camera wasn’t in his own hands. But… he was not here… Which - you should have admitted to yourself first, but were too preoccupied with your discovery - this fact did not give you permission to go snooping through his privacy.

Hesitantly, you turned it on. It came on immediately, which only made you realize even more how good this camera was. This was like, top-notch perfect. No wonder it had been so expensive. No wonder Adam took such good care of it. No wonder he preserved it like it was the last one in existence. This was a damn good camera.

It felt cool on your fingers, and the buttons worked perfectly. None of them were sticky, or oversensitive. Just one gentle tap was enough to get the desired reaction.

And not to mention the photos inside. Adam had a talent for photography, that much was already apparent, but these were like… nothing you’d ever seen. They were clear, and straight on. Sometimes they were from angles so that the sun crossed right over the lens.

There were pictures of people, mostly you and sometimes Adam, but there were mostly pictures of the scenery. This must not have been his work camera, though even that one was just as expensive as this one.

Your breath had been taken from you, as you set his camera back on the table. The photos he’d taken of you were… amazing… Well, all his photos were amazing, but you hadn’t thought that you could be highlighted in such an incredible way. You hadn't even looked through all of them because you did feel guilty about prying. Adam would show you when he was ready to show you, and that’s what you were looking forward to.

You went back to the couch and peered out the window. There was traffic on this tiny road? Bizarre. Usually this street was empty. Police lights flashed passed and then the traffic cleared.

Frowning, you considered a fact about today. Today so far had been really, really, strange… You hadn’t found your boyfriend, even after a long time of searching, your bff seemed to be hiding something, and the events of the day were just weird; like for example a police car driving down the quietest street in your town.

For the first time you felt a little off, like you had teleported through another dimension and no one even knew who you were. It was an alarming feeling. You didn’t like it.

You stretched your legs out on the coffee table, wondering if Adam would mind if you turned on the TV. It seemed a little inappropriate to just… be at his house while he wasn’t there, but you were really freaked out, and… watching something to get your mind off it seemed like the best course of action. Or maybe you should just go home? That was a smart idea, right now you were essentially trespassing!

But… Adam would be home any second now, you were sure of it. Just a little longer… Just a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt anyone, and besides Adam wasn’t going to report his girlfriend for trespassing. He would understand.

Where is he? I haven’t seen him all day. I worry about him sometimes, does he know that?

After a moment’s hesitation, you took the TV remote into your hand. It was then that the door was pushed open wide, casting light into the dark room, and revealing a very tense Adam Faulkner Stanheight.

The remote slipped from your fingers dejectedly, hitting the floor with a quiet thud as you were no longer interested in it anymore. Running for your boyfriend, you called his name a couple times, apologizing for the unintended hangout at his place.

Adam smiled at you warmly, as he wrapped his arms around your waist and bent his head down to kiss you. You leaned into it willingly, moaning in surprise.

Adam pulled his head away again, and examined you. There was a gleam of adoration in his eyes. He shivered, and, without even looking away from you, said, “You opened the windows?”

You were flabbergasted. This man didn’t have to look to know you had opened them; he was so… amazing… “Yeah,” you whispered.

Adam raised a hand to your cheek, and held it for a moment, then brushed a strand of hair out of your face. His hand was warm and gentle. You pushed your head into his grasp. It was silent between you for a long time. Neither of you broke eye contact, or pulled away. This moment was perfect; exactly what you both needed.

“Adam?” You asked eventually.

Adam’s gaze flickered down your face for a moment, then back to your eyes. “Hmm?” He seemed so at peace, you didn’t want to bother him with the question.

“Where have you been?”

“ ‘Where have I been’?” Adam wondered aloud. “Well, let’s see…” He trailed off as your best friend walked into the room.

“I’mma watch the action’ah,” they popped their lips at the end.

You spun around to face them. “What are you doing? I thought you were with friends?”

“Adam’s my friend, isn’t he?”

You stared back at your bff, feeling slightly indignant, and jealous. “What the hell!?”

Your friend only nodded to Adam, a smile on their face. “Don’t jump to conclusions, baby.” There was sarcasm in their voice on the last word.

Flustered, you turned back around in a rush, not able to look at your friend anymore. You were sure it wasn’t what you thought it was, but why had they gone off to do something without you? Something wasn’t right about that.

You nearly fainted at what was in front of you.

On one knee, with his hands outstretched, was your boyfriend, looking rather smug with himself. A ring was placed in the middle of a tiny, black, box. “Will you marry me, F/N L/N?” He asked very bluntly.

Your heart seemed to stop beating. Your mind seemed to shut off. You were just… so stunned you were unemotional. All you could do was stare at Adam. “I-I-I-” You stopped talking at once.

The two others in the room were watching you intently, stiffly, apprehensively.

“I,” you found your voice finally. “Don't know what to say!”

Adam looked at you dumbly. “ ‘Yes’? ‘Yes’ would be preferable, please!”

And you realized that, in your current state of bliss, you had indeed forgotten to enlighten your boyfriend on your answer, which to yourself had been obvious - of course! You would spend everything to marry Adam! That’s what love was, right?

“Yes!” You exclaimed guiltily. “I’m so sorry, I was so shocked, you know? ‘Cause I wasn’t even thinking about the question, I was just thinking about the state of affairs, I can’t believe that this is happening right now, you know, I didn’t mean to leave you -” You said in a single breath. You were so busy you didn’t even notice when Adam stood up. In one fell swoop, Adam’s lips were back on yours, silencing you abruptly. You melted into his embrace, bringing your arms up around his neck, pushing into him, giving him all of yourself.

Your heart fluttered, your cheeks were hot, and your lips were tingling. Inside you felt a thousand things at once, but all of them were stemmed by one thing - joy. Adam pulled you closer to him, if that was even possible; you both were already practically standing on top of each other's feet. A couple of gasps and sighs were released but it was nothing that forced you to stop the make-out session. In fact, it only encouraged it more.

Somewhere behind you both, your friend arranged themself on the couch, tucking their feet under their butt, and staring, eyes wide, at the scene in front of them. If there was popcorn, they’d definitely be eating right now.

Adam let his hands trail your body, and you allowed him to feel you. He stopped kissing you to whisper in your ear, “I love you. I’m sorry I ditched you earlier, but… I do love you.”

“(bff’s name) was with you, buying the ring?”

Adam nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t want to get it wrong.”

“You wouldn’t have,” you whispered back, burying your face into his shoulder. “All that would matter was that you got me something beautiful. All gems are gorgeous, I think. Especially if they’re on a ring.”

Adam hadn’t gotten you something large, but you appreciated that, you had room to move your fingers. But it was still a very pretty color. Your favorite gemstone was in the middle, and the ring part was embedded with your birthstone. You couldn’t believe how pretty it looked altogether. “Adam,” you murmured desperately. Adam brushed his fingers through your hair. “I wouldn’t have made it this far without you, Y/N.”

“Don’t say that.”

“No,” Adam insisted. “You convinced me to keep up the photography. You convinced me to get therapy. You convinced me to… try to stop smoking…”

You laughed. “Yeah. The last one has yet to work. I don’t think I did very much convincing.”

“You convinced me to propose,” Adam admitted attentively.

You pulled back, smiling in amusement. “How so?”

“Well, last night, after -” he seemed to remember that there were more than TWO people in the room with you and started again. “What you said last night got me thinking about how much I love you.”

“Adam.” You shook your head dishearteningly. You hadn’t meant to pressure him. “I said ‘we have a unique relationship, I wonder where it will take us,’ not ‘I want you to propose to me tomorrow.’

“I do want this, though,” Adam continued hastily. “I was just nervous before. But what you said last night convinced me that I was ready to take things to a different level with you.”

“Well I’m glad you asked, because I want this, too. And the answer would have always been ‘yes’. And I’m glad that you want this. That’s what’s important.”

“It’s also important what you want,” Adam chimed in.

But I’M not the one with the trauma, you thought to yourself. You wouldn’t bring THAT up right now, but that was the reason why your relationship was moving slowly. You chuckled under your breath. Adam was way too wholesome for you.

“What?” Adam asked. “What did I say?”

You grit your teeth. “Nothing,” you told him firmly. “I’m just happy that you're happy.”

Adam smiled at you, then looked up at the third wheeler on the couch, who was leaning over their legs in utter astonishment. “Was that good?” He questioned.

“That was wonderful,” your friend exclaimed.

“Adam needed a pep talk? Really?”

“No, Adam needed confidence,” your bff retorted, then stretched and stood up lazily. “I think I’ll be leaving now. I don’t think I’m of any service here anymore.”

The couple didn’t object to the previously stated statement, in fact they were in full agreement. You watched your friend exit the apartment, and then close the door behind them. “So did you get any packing done?” Adam wondered hopefully. “You said you were going to.”

“I did some planning. But I wanted to confirm it with you first,” you confessed.

“Oh.” Adam shrugged. “I have no idea how to start! Anything works!”

“Nice!” You said, all your ideas coming to the front of your mind. “Let’s do it tomorrow, yeah? I’m tired. You know I was up late LAST NIGHT.”

Adam scoffed. “Baby, how could I forget LAST NIGHT?”

You walked into the bedroom, with Adam following closely - too closely. You got the sense that tonight and last night were going to be pretty similar. There was one key difference though. Could you guess it?

Of course.

You weren’t going to sleep next to your boyfriend anymore, you were going to sleep next to your fiance.

Now what did you think about that?

Quietus - Adam Stanheight / Reader

You felt like you had just woken up from a nice, long, nap in the bath, during the summer. There was nothing to be worried about, nothing to be excited about, nothing to be angry about, and nothing to be sad about; it was just a quiet evening, and you felt peaceful and calm. Your skin felt warm, and your hair felt clean, and as you crossed, you felt a tingling in your hands and feet.

The carpet was soft on your feet as you walked over it, it's smoothness was gentle on your skin and you liked it very much. You had never thought that the feel of carpet would please you so much, but this texture was truly exquisite. You took slow, savory, steps just so that you could have a reason to remain standing on it. The light over head was pale, almost like that of the dawn when it breaches your window frame and sets your bedroom aglow. There was something picturesque about how the dull light appeared; phantom like and basically transparent. It was an odd white color, not one that would usually be used for lighting; you didn't quite understand it but you proceeded down the dark void all the same.

Around you, there were black walls, above you blue-white lights, and below you gray ground, that could possibly be clear if you thought about it too long; you could make out, just slightly, hardly anything really, movement of some kind underneath the grayness of the floor. As you walked, you let your thoughts take a hold of your mind. There was something not right about this place, something unusual, something concerning. Was it all the blacks and greys strewn about, or the dark atmosphere? How about the way the lights flickered ever so slightly but just enough to notice, or the way that they warmed up the place just by being on? Perhaps it was the walls that misted when you touched them and the way they felt like liquid when you got close? Maybe it was simply a reality, and you were too tired to figure it out?

It was natural though, the manner in which you moved along. It was almost like it was meant to be; so overpowering you HAD to keep going. You didn't know how far you had come or how long you had been here, all you knew was that this is where you were now, and where you would be for a long while.

Forwards was the only way to go. Forwards would take you to your destined destination. And who was to know where backwards led. That, unfortunately, was not for you to discover.

By now you had left behind the carpet, but that was already such a long time ago you just hadn't realized it when it happened. The tile floor was cool and liquidy. It was like placing your foot on the top of water. You could feel the coldness on the bottom of your foot and in between your toes, it confused you completely.

Finally, before you noticed the opening in the hallway, you heard voices. Two of them were unfamiliar but one of them was so recognizable, so impalpable, it frustrated you. Where had you heard it before?

The lights flickered randomly then, as if trying to give an incapacitated answer to your question. You didn't try to understand it, in fact you didn't try think about it at all, and you went right back to your meandering. When you reached the clearing, which was nothing but a room filled with black walls and grey floor, you could hear the voices more clearly. They were coming from inside. You peered into the small, plain, room almost halfheartedly. It was now that you were starting to feel concerned. You hadn't before, mostly just exceptionally laid back.

What felt like hours was probably only a matter of seconds, but your pumping heart and adrenaline made it seem like longer. You trailed into the room finally, it was the first time since entering this dank place that you had gotten somewhere. As you crept inside, you could smell a familiar smell, and taste a familiar taste. You could hear a familiar sound, and feel a familiar feeling. In front of you was a young man, probably about twenty, in his usual attire. Of course you knew who this was, but what the hell was he doing here? Or maybe a better question was: what were you doing here?

The warmth that had been with you this whole time left now, encasing you in bitter cold. You shivered, hoping to get warm by such an inefficient gesture. It was stupid, pathetic, and didn't work anyway.

You tiptoed over to the man, who was waiting for you in the middle of the room. He had his arms crossed over his chest, and his head tilted back slightly. There was a thin, white, cigarette in the corner of his mouth. You fell instantly, like you always did. The sight reminded you of a picture you had at your apartment. It was of your boyfriend with his head leaned back on the couch, and a cigarette - much like the one in front of you now - in his mouth. Adam Stanheight stood before you in all his glory, making you heart stop. You couldn't find words to explain yourself; the silence was deafening.

However, it wasn't for you to reply, Adam had that covered; he had planned this for a while now. Of course your death was entirely up to fate, he couldn't have had chosen that if he'd tried, but all the same, he'd planned out what to say when you arrived. "F/N L/N." There was a small smile on his lips. The one you'd seen many times before. It always presented itself when he was going to be smug. There was a different kind of smile he gave you when he was happy, this was not that smile. "What have you done to find yourself all the way up here?"

You could feel yourself smiling back. You knew he was joking, but you still smiled at him. You couldn't find words to say anything, you didn't know what was worth saying anyway. You remained silent, and Adam was unbothered.

"I guess it's been a while," he sighed. "I was confused, too, at first. But that's the strange thing, all of us are different. It just takes longer to adjust than it does for others. Maybe I was more fortunate? There's really no way to tell yet, not since you've only just arrived. We'll see how you're feeling in forty eight hours. A lot can change over the course of two days here, you might be surprised. But you'll see what I mean. It's been like a year since that day, so I've gotten pretty used to everything. I am still surprised it only took a year. I thought I would never get over it."

You stared at him for a long time, but still didn't speak.

"Can you remember anything?" Adam asked you lightly.

You thought about his question, but eventually you found your voice. "No."

Adam seemed impressed. "I'm glad to see you warming up, Y/N. Most people don't recover quickly."

"I think..." You stammered, your voice cracking along the way. "I think it helps that you are here."

Adam nodded briefly. "That was the intention. Do you remember anything now?"

You shook your head. "Remember what?"

"How you died."

You considered his words gravely. "Do you?"

"I was watching," Adam informed you. "The accident was... brutal... The car-" he interrupted himself. "Well let's just say, 'it exploded.' Shards went everywhere." He shuddered. "It's no wonder you came to join me. There was another person with you, and neither of you survived it."

Your mouth fell open as memories flashed through your mind. The car, the leaves, the wind. The driving, the spinning, the screaming. The final, abrupt, moment in which your life was taking away from you. You turned your head away dismissively, letting out a calming breath. "Meh," you found yourself saying. "It's alright that it's over. I don't mind the quietness or tranquility. It's nice, like..." You trailed off, and didn't say more.

Adam pulled you into a side hug. "I know the feeling."

You stared at the ground dully, letting Adam's presence sooth you. "So," you asked. "Now what?"

"Now," Adam replied. "I take you through there." He glanced over his shoulder. There was another opening behind you, leading out of the room. A long void stretched away from it.

"There?" You asked. "Where's it go?"

Adam only looked at you sadly, but didn't answer you. He guided you to the entrance and you followed slowly, feeling numb. Adam kept his arm around your waist as you walked. You could sense his urgency, but you didn't know why. You didn't know where he was going, or what was happening, but you trusted Adam. You pressed yourself closer as you continued down the dark, liquid, hall.

As the time passed, you started to relax. You felt really safe here, in Adam's warm and comforting embrace. Finally, you reached another room that was just as dim, and just as tiny, as the last one. By now, you had identified the feeling you were trying to explain before, only this time it was much more severe, overwhelming. You clutched Adam's hand tightly, and spoke up at last. "Adam, it's like..."

Adam ushered you inside. "I'll see you on the other side, baby. But unfortunately, I can't go with you for this part. Don't worry, you'll see me again, I promise. I'll be waiting for you."

"Wait," you whispered, and Adam smiled at you. He looked so reposeful and patient, like he had all the time in the world, and maybe he did; it was like he knew all the answers to life itself. You gazed at him. "It's like..." Your voice sounded melodic. "It's like," You repeated for a third time. "Like, I'm finally coming home..."

Adam let out a breath. There was a gleam in his eyes, one that told you he was content, and he said, "Yes, you are. It's such a scary place to call home, but it's almost terrifying how lovable a place can be once you start to live in it."

"Don't go," you mumbled desperately.

"I won't," Adam replied happily, and closed the door in front of you, leaving you all alone and in your impending doom. Unbeknownst to you, Adam was waiting in the room over. Neither of you knew how long it would take you to find him again but you knew that you would; and when you did, home would be right around the corner.

August - Adam Stanheight X Reader

Adam Faulkner Stanheight was sitting on the couch, waiting for his significant other - that would be you - to come home. You had left to grab (your favorite dessert). It wasn’t a particularly special occasion, but you both had wanted something to sweeten up your lives a little bit. Adam smoked somberly, shaping his shallow thoughts into something much more understandable. But it was all for naught, seeing as he was still in the same place of emotion that he was in when he started this expedition.

Lazily, and listlessly, Adam rearranged himself on the couch. He knew you would be disapproving when you saw that the windows were closed, but he couldn’t bring himself to open them. He was way too tired for that. All he wanted to do was lay down. He tried to keep his eyes open, but eventually found himself falling asleep while also nearly choking to death on cigarette smoke.

He coughed and sputtered until his throat was sore, and then he twisted out his cigarette. That was enough today, but he was still left with an empty feeling; his satisfaction just wasn’t quite fulfilled, and he was tempted to take another one from the box. He used what self-control he had left, and managed not to. He told himself you would be very proud of him for that.

Adam had gotten up to fix himself some tea. He barely stood up when a wave of nausea consumed him. He sank back down onto the couch miserably. He didn’t feel great at all today. Maybe that was because he hadn’t eaten yet? It was one’o’clock and he woke up at ten. Why hadn’t he had breakfast yet? Oh that’s because he got in a conversation with you and then hadn’t wanted to leave. That was reasonable, right?

Adam got to his feet clumsily, and stumbled into the kitchen, where he tried to put together a sandwich. It worked, he guessed, and he sat down to eat his breakfast slash lunch.

What would that be called? He wondered. Brunch? It was getting hot in the apartment by the time he’d finished eating. The weather was hot outside during this august afternoon. Adam felt stable again, now that he’d eaten, but something was still off. He missed his partner, F/N L/N.

He popped open the windows to let out the smoke that was building inside.

Adam reluctantly started doing some tidying. His living quarters were always messy, and it irritated the hell out of you. He decided now would be a good time to clean it up.

But as he started to pick things up from the floor, the apartment door swung gently open. Adam let his belongings fall onto the coffee table once again, as he leapt up to greet you.

When he saw you his heart fluttered. Excitement and happiness rushed through him. He found new energy to be with you! “Y/N!” He exclaimed.

You came tripping into the room, carrying in your arms a large (favorite dessert.) Adam had never been so glad to see someone in his whole life. You plopped the dessert onto the counter, and twirled happily ‘round.

Adam watched you in satisfaction, his heart melting. He pulled you into a hug, pushing you right up against his chest, and allowing you to rest your head on his shoulders. He felt you giggle and it warmed him on the inside.

You beamed up at him, your eyes glowing in jubilation. “You missed me?”

Adam sighed. “You have no idea.”

You nuzzled Adam’s nose sweetly. “Want to try the dessert?”

Adam would have loved to, but you felt so good in his arms he hardly wanted to release you. “Sure.”

You detangled yourself from his grasp, and went over to the counter, getting ready to cut your dessert into slices.

Adam watched from afar, examining his significant other as they bent slightly over the counter. You had your butt your pointed out towards him and Adam took pleasure in studying it. You looked cute standing in that position. “Nice.” He told you frankly.

You were too intent on your task to even notice Adam’s comment. You simply straightened your back and glanced at him, a smile on your face. “Go grab some plates!”

Adam did as he was told, and then came up behind you. He wrapped an arm around your waist, and put two plates on the counter.

You shuffled closer to him, and Adam felt content to have you so close. You placed one slice of said dessert onto each of the plates, and then you started eating.

Adam had never tried this kind of dessert before he met you. But now it was a tradition to eat it together. He loved that.

The flavor was sweet and sugary, of course it was. It was your favorite dessert and that’s why Adam loved it, because it made him think of you.

You ate together in a peaceful silence until your plates were clean. Neither of you had even gone to the table to eat.

Adam rubbed your back with one hand. It was impossible to explain what he felt for you. He loved you so much, nothing would be able to express it. ‘I love you’ at this point was an understatement. But how else did one express their love to their significant other? Without words there would be no communication. This was the only way to tell you what he felt. He loved you, and that’s all there was. Love.

He turned you towards him, so that you were pressed against his chest once more. He put his chin on the top of your head. “I love you.”

A rush of adrenaline swarmed up you. You laced your hands with Adam. “No, I love YOU.”

Adam melted into you. You were so perfect! “Not nearly as much as I love you,” he murmured.

“You’re right,” you gave in disappointedly, but then shot back, “I love you MORE than that.”

You and Adam spun around the living room several times, and then you put on some classical music: slow and romantic, just right for the mood.

You both swayed to the rhythm, not really intending to be lazy, but not trying to be too energetic either.

Adam could feel your head on his shoulder, your hand in his hand, and an arm around his waist. Your body touching him was breathtaking. Adam was sure he would lose his mind from the close proximity.

“You’ve been smoking,” you uttered into the quietness. You were only concerned.

Adam stiffened. Would you care about that? “I’m sorry-” He started to say.

You interrupted him. “Don’t be sorry, Adam. You’re always sorry. Not everything’s your fault. What happened?”

“I got anxious about you,” Adam halfheartedly confessed.

You patted his head reassuringly. “Well, you shouldn’t have.”

“But I did.”

You kissed him on the cheek. “Alright then. It’s okay. How was the smoke?”

“Bad,” Adam grumbled. “I nearly died from it instead of trying to enjoy it.”

You smirked. “I’m glad you didn’t though. You know what would happen if you did?”

“No.”

You bent your eyebrows down and pouted your lower lip sadly. “I WOULD BE SAD!” You wailed.

Adam felt his heart skip a beat. “Oh no…” he mustered. “I don’t want that.”

“Nor do I,” you answered smartly. “But lucky for you, you don’t have to try very hard. You being around is all I need!”

Adam bit his bottom lip shyly. He could feel your words brush up his neck. Your words were just so warming and good to hear, he couldn’t get enough. He kissed you at that moment, lifting you off the floor and bringing you up to sit on his hips. You put your legs around his waist, and your arms around his neck.

Adam loved every moment of it. He loved feeling your skin on his skin, your mouth on his mouth, your body against his body, and your heat keeping him warm.

His heart was pounding, his stomach was churning, and adrenaline was pulsing through his veins. He broke away to give you some kisses down your jaws; they were quick and short.

You hummed out in satisfaction, and tilted your head back. Adam took advantage of this, and started kissing down your neck. He made sure to get your shoulders and collarbones.

“Adam…” you whispered at last, cupping his cheeks in your hands and lifting his head up. He looked at you like a lost puppy and it melted your heart. “You sweet thing.”

Adam let you down and you sighed out happily. “You’re cute,” Adam said cheesily.

You shrugged. “How else would you want me?”

“Laying on the bed would be a nice alternative, too,” Adam replied cleverly.

You gagged and looked away embarrassedly. “Oh yeah?”

“Definitely,” Adam assured you.

Adam sat down on the couch, and you sat next to him. You pulled him onto your lap, and started a long, enticing, snuggle session, where both of you spent the rest of the evening flirting, teasing, kissing, and of course expressing love to one another only in ways that words could never communicate.

Go to Sleep - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N This one was inspired by Melanie Martinez’s song ‘A thousand Words’. Some parts of the song really made me relate to Adam, so… I know I said I would post it at night but I have high confidence right now. Enjoy!

Nothing had been normal after Adam’s passing. You had never felt so cold before in your life. You hadn’t eaten a full meal for the last two weeks, but… you weren’t hungry. The crackers and the coffee were enough to get you through the day. It was nearing the end of the cold season, you and Adam had made plans for April but it looked like they wouldn’t be happening anymore. You didn’t know how to feel. All you knew was that you missed the one person that you desired. Adam Stanheight. But he was never coming back to you.

It was dark outside, eleven’o’clock at night on a Friday. It was unusual to see the bed empty even though it had been so long since Adam’s death. You couldn’t get your mind around that concept. He had his whole life in front of him, how had it been taken away from him so quickly?

You grasped the bedsheets miserably, trying to go back to sleep. You were tired, but your mind was active; you didn’t want to go to sleep. The bed was cold, and you were not used to it anymore. You missed how it felt when he was with you. You remembered his hands on your skin, his lips on your mouth, and his voice in your ears. But mostly you could still see his face in your eyes. It strangled you, defeated you, and corrupted you. Desperately, you wanted to reach into that image and be WITH Adam. Be with him one more time. But that could never happen, and it never would.

Your ears rang with the sound of your crying, your voice was sore, and your brain was fried. The phantom feeling of Adam’s arms around you, caressing you, drove you mad.

“I miss you,” you whispered to the empty room. “I had so many things to show you. So many things to do with you. So many things to say to you; so many things to talk about! And you were plucked right away from me like the last berry on the vine. Nothing more than a berry on the vine. That’s all. That’s all you are. That’s all you were.”

You closed your eyes, rolling your head to the side.

What happened to us? You wondered. We were young and healthy.

You let out a couple of strangled sobs, before getting up and walking over to the camera resting on the dresser. It had been two weeks since you had picked it up, but now you couldn’t stop yourself. You missed Adam, and all your memories were inside his most prized possession - his camera.

Well, that would have been his second most prized possession, because first place always went to one person: me.

You took the camera in your hands. It was cold and dusty, but still had its shine and its worth. You studied it for a short moment, then delicately pressed the power button on the top. It flickered on with a bright, white, light. It blinded you for a few seconds, but you recovered swiftly, eagerly.

You looked over the first couple of pictures plainly, not feeling anything - or at least trying not to. But when you skipped to the end you found the most recent pictures of Adam. Your heart collapsed into a bunch of glass shards. You flipped through the photos continuously, gradually getting faster and faster with every passing second. Taking in every detail of every photo, you crumpled to the floor, trying not to howl; your neighbors were all asleep at the moment.

Adam had given his heart to you, and it had been ripped out of your hands so mercilessly. You gathered yourself up, and shoved the camera onto the dresser again. Clearly, you were not ready to look at these quite yet. As you got to your feet, you could see out the window that was positioned up above the headboard. Dawn was peeking through the shutters, light blue creeping into the apartment, and purple streaks painting the sky; the sun was coming up. Hastily, you snatched up the camera and raced for the front door. These were the mornings that you and Adam would pose for pictures and take photoshoots of the sky. You weren’t about to lose this opportunity; you’d perform anything to make Adam's spirit last longer.

You knelt on the ground, the doorstep was cold, and raised the camera to your eyes. You snapped a picture of the sky, nostalgia eating you alive. You could almost feel Adam’s warm body pressing up against you from behind, and his soft hands casually placing themselves around yours so as to adjust your grip on the camera.

How did you do it again? Was it like this? You took another picture, and another, and another. Adam’s advice and instructions were coming to you naturally now. You could do it all on your own.

You took several more photos until you didn’t know what to do with yourself, and then you sat down on the stairs and looked through them. Everything was perfect! They all looked exactly the way Adam would have taken them. All the angels were correct, as were the shadows and the lighting. You started humming sadly.

“Our love’s a postcard on it’s way, heading toward no destiny.”

Adam’s words still whispered in your ears and you shook your head, trying to clear it before you gave way into fantasy. But you were not fortunate enough for that. You ended up falling asleep on the pavement, lucky for you it wasn’t supposed to start raining until tomorrow evening.

"I had a thousand words to say."

Your eyes fluttered shut as you drifted off to sleep, but Adam was still engraved into your vision. His dark eyes, his dark hair, his smile, his face, his clothes… He was the last thing that you were thinking about.

"You gave me your heart, then took it back from me."

Somewhere deep inside your dreams you dreamed about him, about Adam, and it nearly killed you all the while. It was like Adam was really with you in that moment. You could hear his voice like it was physically in the room with you, lulling you to sleep.

“This isn’t real, is it?” you muttered, interrupting yourself form your singing.

And the response was so actual, you almost woke up. “How would you know, baby?”

You gazed around, trying to find where the source was coming from. “Because the mind can work itself into seeing and hearing the things that it longs to.”

A hand traveled down your back. “Hm. I think when you wake up, you will know the answer to that question.”

You shivered. “Adam,” you murmured.

“Sleep well, my love. I know you need it.”

“Wait, don’t go,” you feebly choked out.

“I don’t think I have a choice,” there was a hint of amusement in Adam’s tone - if it even was Adam talking to you. It was hard to tell, between the dreaming and waking worlds.

One last time you finished singing the last part of the song. "Close my eyes and got to sleep. You're the last thing, the last thing that I see."

The pavement was digging into your thighs and feet painfully, and the cool wind blew into your face, and the approaching thunder disappeared into the background. The position in which you slept was nothing if not uncomfortable, but this was still the best sleep you had ever had in a long, long, time. Your heart was heavy, and your mind was blank, but just like every night, as you bowed your head and closed your eyes, Adam Stanheight was the last thing that you saw, and just like every morning, he was the first thing that you thought of.

Delirious - Adam Stanheight / Reader

Adam Faulkner sat up frantically, his body rigid and his mind reeling, his hands grasping uselessly at the edge of his confines, his hair plastered to his face, and his mouth filled with grimy water. He spluttered, trying to breath without getting water in his lungs, and his fingers fumbled inconveniently all along the edge of his restraints. Coughing, Adam hauled himself out of the tub. He was weak and fatigued, but most of all he was scared. In a few frightening moments, that seemed entirely too long, he tried pounding on the walls; first slowly then gradually getting faster with every passing second. Through the darkness, Adam could feel the freezing tile on his fingers, and the sharp sting as he slapped his palms against it. When this proved futile, Adam backed away hesitantly, spinning 'round and 'round as if trying to find something that wasn't there, and then resorted to screaming. His attempts at being heard were unavailing, but he kept at it anyway mostly for the sake of his very own sanity; if he remained silent he was sure to lose his goddamn mind.

"No one can hear you," came a sudden voice from the darkness. It sounded so dismissive; in fact it almost pissed Adam off how apathetic it appeared. "Just calm down. Are you hurt?"

Adam's mind struggled to form a single coherent thought. Between his confusion and his fear, thinking was made difficult. He stuttered over his words for a couple short seconds. "I-I-I-I don't- don't know." He looked over himself, even though he couldn't see anything. "Yeah?"

There was a faint sound of stumbling around, and then a high-pitched buzz filled the room. In an abrupt flicker the darkness was replaced with a bright yellow light. The ceiling lights had come on, and Adam groaned, shielding his eyes away from the brightness. "I couldn't find them before..." The man apologized.

When Adam could see clearly again, he glanced over at the object to his right. Immediately upon seeing the results, he wished he had been a little more thoughtful on that prospect, for keeping him grounded was a metal chain connecting him to a metal pipe protruding from the tile walls. What calmness he had left evaporated all together and once again he found himself panicking. Adam yanked and tugged but it didn't matter, he wasn't going anywhere. "Holy shit. You did this, didn't you!?"

His companion pressed himself against the wall in alarm. "I haven't done anything!" He exclaimed defensively. "But we're going to have to trust each other if we want to get out of this. I mean, clearly someone didn't want us going very far."

Adam huffed. "But what the hell did I do?"

"Apparently you did something, or you wouldn't be here. Now, what's your name?"

That's a personal question, Adam thought. Why does he want to know?

Looking the man up and down suspiciously, Faulkner muttered carefully, "My name is very fucking confused... What's YOUR name...?"

"Lawrence Gordon," Gordon answered practically.

Adam laughed. "Sounds like a doctor's name," he whispered wryly.

"I AM a doctor," Doctor Lawrence snapped.

Adam stared at him awkwardly. Neither of them spoke a word to each other for a couple of never-ending minutes, then Lawrence stood up. "Here, let me try the door."

"Why didn't you?" Adam retorted, not expecting a reply. He was aware of the fact that, with the lights off, it was impossible to see your surroundings. Lawrence ignored him, but did cast him an annoyed look, as if echoing Adam's exact thoughts. He got to his feet.

Adam watched Lawrence stretch himself along the wall, reaching for the door. It was locked, but even if wasn't, Lawrence's chain didn't stretch far enough to get him to the handle. "Well fuck," Adam uttered hopelessly.

Lawrence gave him an apologetic look, but didn't say anything to reassure him. It was then that Adam's eyes found the chainsaw resting right next to Lawrence's feet, and that's when everything changed. He started freaking out. In flashbacks he saw THAT moment replaying over and over again in his head, and he reacted violently, twisting his body and lashing out against his restraint.

The pictures burned his eyes, at least it felt like they did. With each passing second the flashbacks became more clear. He could almost feel Lawrence's pain when he cut through his flesh. Adam screamed. Agony ripped through his temples and he doubled over.

Lawrence's longing and flustered exclamations were lost on poor Adam as he writhed miserably on the tile floor in capable of regaining himself, his tormented mind struggling to cope with the memories. "Hey! I think I've found something! Pass me that tape."

Adam kicked, and flailed, but didn't hear Lawrence.

"What's wrong? Will you at least tell me your name?"

Still, Adam couldn't get the vision out of his eyes. It lingered there like a bloodstain on a white dress. It refused to put him at ease.

"Adam!" Lawrence threw his wallet at him. "Adam!" His voice was starting to blend into the buzz of the lights. "Goddamn it, Adam! What's happening?"

Faulkner tossed and turned. His heart was beating so fast in his chest he was sure it would pop at any given moment. His temperature was so high it was like he was in an oven that was set to self-destruct. His shirt and flannel were drenched in so much sweat, he could have easily been rolling around in the wet grass before arriving.

"Adam!" Lawrence threw something else at him. Was it the package of cigarettes? "Sit up! Sit up!"

Adam tried to latch onto what Lawrence was telling him, but he felt fried. His mind was so exhausted...

"Adam!" Gordon's voice was gone completely now, as well as the images that he had been seeing before. Adam was plunged straight back into darkness, and then THAT voice reached his ears. The melodic voice of his significant other.

In a frenzy, hastily and dazedly, Adam Faulkner exploded from the covers, his face burning up with fever. He was hotter than he had ever felt in his entire life. He gasped, paranoia engulfing him. His eyes darted around the room, taking in his surroundings quickly, fearfully. He was not where he expected to find himself. He was not with the person he was expecting to be with. Adrenaline pumped through him, making him fidgety, but finally he brought his attention to his partner. You were leaning over him, terror in your bright eyes.

Adam's breath slowed down audibly, once he realized where he was. You pushed him to the pillow again. You had tears on your cheeks but Adam wasn't in the mental state to be concerned about that right now. He let you adjust him on the bed, as you whispered, "You're so hot, baby. I tried to stop the fever, but... it just kept rising, and... You scared me, I thought for sure... Never mind. You were kicking and sleep talking. I don't what you said, though."

Adam stared ahead, grabbing hold of your hand. He held it so tightly you whimpered. You had to use all your strength to rip your hand out of his grasp. "What time is it?" He choked.

"Twelve AM. It's hasn't even been two hours yet."

"I... I can't go back to sleep. I need a walk." But Adam knew it was a lie. And he knew what you would say.

You stared into his face. His eyes had dark circles under them, they were bloodshot already themselves, and his skin was ghostly white. You frowned at him in dismay. Lately, he had stopped sleeping. His trauma was getting to him again, and you knew that was the only reason for it; his dreams were haunting him too much. "No, Adam," You said firmly this time. You weren't going to allow him to do this again.

Adam shook his head. "Let me. It helps."

"You are going to kill yourself one of these days," You growled, and gently held him down. You didn't want to cause him to feel trapped, that would only make things worse, but you didn't want him to get up. "You need to sleep, baby. You have a fever tonight."

"Maybe that's good?" Adam asked halfheartedly. He hadn't meant to alarm you.

You felt sick. "No." You combed your fingers through his hair. "Relax, Adam. You're going to be just fine. I know it, you know it."

Adam relaxed under his partner's soothing strokes. "I feel so cold..."

You gazed at him sadly. "A hundred and one degrees, Adam."

"Me?"

"No, the cat," You snapped sarcastically.

"Oh..."

Adam could feel himself losing himself to sleep. He was afraid of what would happen next in his dreams, but he trusted you to take care of him. Your careful caress was enough to put him back under. And as he wandered through a blurry haze of darkness, he heard your soft voice one last time. "I love you." A kiss was planted on his lips and when he started dreaming again, it was with you.

You in your favorite attire.

You with your prettiest smile.

You with your pleasant laugh.

And he leaned right into that beloved and charming kiss. All the while you stayed awake in the night, protecting him, keeping him away from his fears, and allowing your precious boyfriend to gather up on his much desired sleep.