Cornelia Street

Cornelia Street

A/N This is a long story inspired by Cornelia Street which is a Taylor Swift song. Also, if y'all are getting my content let me know via message or comment! I haven't seen any activity for a month... :( anything helps ~ TwooneZ. <3.

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Breathe, you told yourself. Breathe. Just breathe. You’ll be fine. You closed your eyes, trying to lose yourself. That! Right there! Oh, yeah…

The sparks on your lips lit up like fireworks. You opened and closed your mouth. Feeling Adam Stanheight’s mouth working wonders on your lips was amazing. A little bit of biting was included.

The street lights flashed by the window, filling the car up with dim, golden, light.

Adam’s hands were on your skin, crawling up your body, under your clothes, rubbing on sensitive and non-sensitive places, filling you up with affection and attention. His gentle kisses fell from your mouth to your jaws. He sent a trail all the way down to the bottom of your ear. 

You leaned into him, moaning, gasping, breathing. Waves of dopamine rolled over you continuously, setting your mind at ease, pleasuring you, but only just. 

Adam let his lips fall to your neck, caressing you softly. He left marks on your skin, causing you to shiver and shudder, but that didn’t make him think to stop, he liked it. He messaged the same place on your neck with his lips until it was numb and bruising, and then he kept going. Taking care of you was his first priority. 

You were pinned between the car door, and your boyfriend. The cold glass of the window pressed into your back, and the door handle jammed into your side, but you didn’t care. Adam was all you could think of. 

You gasped audibly, making the driver flinch. Adam only grabbed your knees and stretched them away from each other. Faulkner was making bold advances, but you liked it. If you both weren’t so drunk, then maybe you’d have a little more compassion for the uber driver, but you were shitfaced.

Adam’s sloppy kissing was more than arousing. Somehow, you were for it. Your boyfriend’s hands started brushing up along your inner thigh, his thumb rubbing circles. His lips had gone from your neck to the center of your chest. He was making sure not to ruin his piece of artwork. 

You choked on air, as Adam used his free hand to stroke your cheek. You felt his calloused hand go up and down your cheek. Up and down, up and down, lulling you to sleep. You turned your head into his palm, taking in his smokey scent. You loved that smell, loved how it stung the back of your throat. 

Adam started to work his way back up your body, while his hand found an interesting place to linger. You rolled your head back so it was leaning on the window. Adam brushed his nose past all the places he had kissed, stopping by your own nose. He smiled against your lips slightly, and pecked the very edge of your mouth. You were driven mad by this, he knew it.

A silence drifted between you as you looked into the other’s eyes, mesmerized. Dazzling, gleaming, streams shone in Adam’s eyes, pulling you deeper into his trance. His brown eyes made you hungry for more. 

Your boyfriend kissed you again on the edge of your mouth, and then kissed your upper cheek, where he trailed his nose back down your face towards your lips. You trembled a little at the soft feeling of his nose grazing your chin, and then stopping at your nose again. 

His breath was warm and wet as it wafted past your face. You could smell the leftover metallic from his previous cigarette. You hummed out in contentment, happiness filling you up just like bubbles expanding in the bath. You grabbed Adam’s wrist and sighed. 

Adam was already undoing the button to your jeans. Clearly he had major plans for tonight. 

You tilted your head at him, and giggled. 

“Shh,” Adam whispered in your ear. “Let me take care of you.”

His words blended together like a long susurrus, and wreathed around you. You breathed in his scent deeply and collapsed onto the window, blacking out finally. Adam put his forehead on your chest, his eyelids getting heavy. He took a look at his partner one last time. You were so attractive laying like that. Damn, if only he’d been a little quicker, maybe he would have had time to actually fuck you. Oh well, that was for another time. Right now… he could really use a nap. Adam fell asleep on your chest.

When you awoke the next morning, you had a pounding  headache. You could hear something coming from the bedroom. It sounded like… Adam… but there was another voice there with him. They were talking about the next series of photoshoots. A client must have come over while you were sleeping. You got up, the whole world flipped upside down, and you sank onto the couch again. You ended up crawling on the floor just so you could get some refreshing water. 

You could barely remember what happened last night, you vaguely knew what had happened on the ride home but that was it. However, you still had a major arousal, and some kind of relief would be appreciated. You would wait to ask Adam.

After a few minutes you were able to stand up properly, without feeling nauseous and falling over. You headed into the bedroom, and pushed the door open. Your vision was kinda blurry, but that was okay, it would pass. 

You entered the bedroom slowly, gripping the glass of water in your hand tightly. In the back of the room you could see Adam with his camera up to his face. He was taking pictures of a young woman. She wasn’t dressed much, save for a couple of silks. Adam usually didn’t do THIS kind of thing. But, you assumed he had agreed to it last night when he was drunk, and now was going through with it. It was fine. You were used to him having other people over. It wasn’t like he was banging them or anything, he was a photographer… Freelance photographer to be exact. 

“Who’s that?” The young woman asked strictly. “You said no one was here! Is that why you had me walk through the living room with my eyes closed!? Are you cheating on me?”

“What?” Adam asked, baffled, and stared at the young woman. Obviously, he was still too hungover to process anything correctly as well. 

“I said, who is that woman!?”

Adam looked over his shoulder at you. You could see how bloodshot his eyes looked and how tired he seemed. There were black circles under his eyes. He had been up all night by the look of it. “Oh. That’s Y/N.” He gave you a lovesick smile. “Hiii.” He waved at you.

You stared straight passed him, at the other woman. Anger and jealousy were eating at you from within, churning your insides into nothing. You glared at her, unable to believe your eyes. Adam was with another lady!? You thought it was just a client getting her pictures taken. What was this?

Hot iron boiled in your stomach like unchewed red meat. The arousal was starting to fade away. “What’s going on?”

“I should be asking you that!” The woman yelled back. “I was just here with my fiance!”

Adam opened his mouth to interject but you stormed out of the room. Behind you, you could hear Adam crying. “Why did you say that? Why would you do something like that? I don’t even know you!”

“That’s not what you said last night!”

Fuming, you stuffed a bag with most of your clothes and you left the apartment. You were not thinking straight to bring anything else, all you were was drunk and dumped. Your heart felt like an injured bird, not able to fly, caged, and wingless. You’d never be in the air again.  

Fuck, he’s leading me on! He gets paid to stalk people, why would he cheat on me? That doesn’t make any sense. Maybe that’s why he has abandonment issues. Shit… 

Everything was starting to click into place, and it hurt. Way too much. 

You slunk swiftly towards the bus stop, hauling your belongings behind you. You scurried downward, painful shocks throbbing through your shoulders with every sob released from your lungs. The longer it took you to get to the bus stop, the more your chest hurt. 

Blindly, numbly, you stretched the crinkled dollar bill into the driver’s palm, and maneuvered into the back seat. Sniffling and choking, you endured a long and excruciating drive across the city. You were already gone by the time Adam called you. 

“Y/N? Y/N? Where are you?”

“I left,” you said bluntly. 

“ ‘left’?” Adam inquired in disbelief. “What do you MEAN?”

“I LEFT,” you repeated firmly. 

“I- uh- wh- but- ugh.” Adam trailed off for a couple of seconds. “Okay, listen. I know what it looked like, but it wasn’t THAT. She was a young woman I ran into last night. I don’t remember anything, but according to her I said I love you. I thought I was talking to you!”

“How do you mistake me for HER!?”

“I mean… you have the same color hair?”

You scoffed, unable to believe your ears. Somehow, hearing Adam’s voice made you relax. You felt better. 

“Same color eyes?” 

You rolled your eyes, and scoffed again. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Adam muttered. “Whatever I said to whomever, isn’t important. I thought I was talking to you. I want you to come back. We can talk this through. I don’t even know who she is!”

“How’d she get in?”

“Um. I dunno. Guess I gave her my address… I was so fucking drunk last night… Just tell me where you are. I’m so worried about you!”

You looked down at yourself. Your sweater was uncomfortable, your jeans were crooked, and you were cold. Your duffel bag was looking limp and lonely, very isolated and incredibly sad. You realized that you were a long ways away from home, and the closest place was Adam’s apartment. You didn’t want to leave Adam, if there was a chance you could make it right you would take it, of course you would! 

You peered out the window and searched for a street sign. It was too dark to see anything. “I don’t know,” you grumbled disappointedly. You asked an elderly woman sitting next to you which street you were on. She turned her back on you, and kept typing on her phone.

Awkwardly, you turned back. “I’m… on a bus.”

“Shit, you LEFT.”

“That’s what I said.”

“I didn’t know you meant it like that.”

“Just get me home, Adam!” You whimpered desperately. 

“Okay, okay. Let’s figure this out.”

“Adam! Let me in! Let me in! Goddamnit, are you on the phone with that wench/swain!?” The voice of the other woman came barreling into the speaker phone. 

“Get out!” Adam shouted. “Get out! No, no, I don’t care! No! Don’t do that! I said GO!”

“Adaaaaam,” the woman whined. 

“No! Don’t open that! What the fuck?”

“Adam?” You asked quietly, shifting your feet back and forth. The elderly woman was giving you dirty looks.

“How did you get into the bedroom? I locked the door,” Adam told the woman.

The woman replied snidely, “Your sweet little lover left their spare bedroom key. Oh, and what’s that? Their promise ring, too? Boohoo.”

You could practically feel the flinch that Adam made at that remark. “I’m sorry, Adam,” you interjected. “I didn’t mean to. I jumped to conclusions.”

“Tch,” Adam sighed dismissively. “Nevermind. I don’t blame you. Just come back. I love you.”

You didn’t know how to respond to that. Fortunately, the woman started yelling again. “You tricked me! You pervert! I bet you wanted to see me naked.”

“Y/N,” Adam said flatly. “I’m calling the police. Hold on, okay? I’ll get back to you. Just… figure out where you are, and I’ll come get you. Did I tell you how worried I am? I’m so worried about you.”

You nodded. “I’ll try.”

“Okay. See ya.” Adam hung up, and left you all alone. 

The old woman said finally, “Young kids these days don't know no manners.”

You shot her an angry glare, and then got up and strode to the front. You asked the bus driver where the next stop was. He said it was three miles. You hung your head, and accepted your fate. That was when you noticed the woman at the back rummaging around in your duffel bag. You went charging down the aisle. 

Though there was nothing of importance to you in that bag, you would have preferred to keep all your clothes. You ripped the bag out of her fingers. “What are you doing!?”

“Young kids don’t know how to share, these days.”

You stared at her in horror, and then sat down all the way at the end of the bench. You put your bag daintily on your lap. 

You got out at the bus stop. You were scared, and soaking wet, but you didn’t have anywhere to go. You sat there, feeling lonely. When Adam called you back, you said, “I don’t know where I am. All I know is that I’m on the third bus stop in Delaware.”

“Delaware!?” Adam exclaimed.  “What the hell are you doing in Delaware?”

“Um…” You found it hard to speak suddenly. 

“Oh, nevermind!” Adam seemed to realize the stupidity of that question. “I’m coming to get you.”

“Two hours? Adam, it’s better if I just take a bus.”

“Y/N, no. I’m coming to get you. We need to take care of each other.”

You sighed and sat down. The traffic was low but still busy. You watched the cars pass by you, and you were jealous of everyone who didn’t have to sit in the downpour. You rocked back and forth on the wet  bench and watched some sort of movie on your phone until it died. By then Adam was only thirty minutes away. He had told you just before the power shut off on your phone. It was a long wait, quiet and still and empty. Nothing happened on the street for a long time during those minutes. 

Your legs were freezing and your hair was plastered to your head. You were miserable. When Adam saw his S/O sitting like that all alone, he flipped the fuck out. He parked to the side in a hurry. The curb was yellow, but this went unnoticed.  Adam hurtled himself at you, collapsing on your lap. It was currently two thirty. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N! Oh, shit, oh, shit!”

Faulkner pulled your hair back with both hands. Each hand was on either side of your head, and his thumbs pinned your bangs to your forehead so that he could get a clear view of your face. Adam was distraught. 

Swiftly, he plunged his face forward and kissed you right on the lips, taking your upper lip in his mouth. It was short lived, and he backed away looking frantic. “Look at you! I can’t believe you did this!”

You stared past him embarrassedly. “I know. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done this.”

“Let’s get you in the car. It should still be warm.”

“I just feel…”

Adam pushed you into the car, and then crouched down to look at you. He was in between your legs, keeling on the wet pavement, gazing into your face. “Yeah?” He asked, concerned.  

“Oh, it’s nothing,” you muttered shyly. 

You tried to pull your feet into the car, but Adam turned you straight towards him. “No. Tell me. Tell me. I want to know.”

You huffed and shook your head, getting too humiliated to continue. “No… Nevermind. I care a lot about you.” You tried to pull your feet inside again.

“Don’t leave me like that,” Adam murmured. “Tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you, if you don’t talk to me. Come on, baby, we’re supposed to be open with our significant others.” 

You looked into Adam’s searching face, and blushed a bright red. “I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends. I’d never walk Cornelia Street again. That’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend.” You wrung your hands together self consciously. “I get mystified by how this city screams your name… Or rather… New Jersey…” You laughed awkwardly. “Not Delaware…”

“Is that all?” Adam asked you gently.

You shook your head. “I’m so terrified of, if you ever walked away. I’d never walk Cornelia Street again. Ever again.”

Adam’s round puppy eyes were taking all of you in, like a fish gasping for air out of water. “Holy hell, Y/N. I didn’t know any of this. I’d never leave you. That lady wasn’t even supposed to be here. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Take me home, Adam.”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.” Adam got to his feet and allowed you to get in the car. 

Adam had been riding with the windows down, but you didn’t mind because the heat from the car heater was warming you up well enough, not to mention Adam had lended you his jacket - or rather flannel. It was hanging loosely on your shoulders, you didn’t have your arms in the sleeves. 

The ride home was silent, but pleasant, although the events of the day wouldn’t stop haunting you. You felt bad about them. You felt humiliated. You wondered what Adam thought. Did he think less of you?

To add on to the anxiety, you couldn’t believe how fast you’d jumped to conclusions. You were concerned about that, too. Was Adam judging you for that? If he was, what was he thinking? You fought with yourself for telling him about your fears. At the end of the day, perhaps Adam wasn’t the one with the abandonment issues? Perhaps… 

Well, perhaps it was actually you?   

Sleeping Beauty - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N sorry for the short story, been feeling writer’s block. (This was a prompt. I’m sorry it’s creepy asf.)

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Adam Faulkner was late to bed that night. It was nearly three in the morning when he finally finished producing a set of pictures. He was late to producing the pictures as well. He was late for an appointment with a client. He was late for a lot of things right now. He had to reschedule many appointments. But at least this was the last one… Finally. 

Adam set the camera on the dresser that was to the side of the bed. In this summer season, three am looked bright, dawn creeping in through the edges of the window, around the curtains. The sky was a light indigo even though it was three am, and it seemed like the sun was about to rise some time soon. 

Adam turned away from the dresser and spotted you asleep on the bed, facing him, on your right side. You looked so lovely in the dim light, your face peaceful, humble, innocent. Your eyelids fluttered slightly over and over. Adam wondered what you were seeing, what you were dreaming about. It didn’t seem like it was hellish. 

He smiled at the sight of his significant other. The light drew circles on your skin and cast shadows over certain places, making an intricate picture of darkness and lightness. He took in your body shape through the tight bed covers. All the right indents and muscles portrayed through them. Your breathing was gentle and delicate. Your belly rose and fell smoothly. 

Adam knelt down by the bed to look into your sleeping face. It was impossible that you didn’t know he was there. All it took was an easy action of opening your eyes, but that would never happen because you were asleep. You didn’t know he was there at all. It was weird knowing that you wouldn’t open your eyes even though Adam was staring at you. 

He eyed your thin lips, and had to refrain from kissing them. They were so lonely and unsuspecting, perfect for kissing. But he knew better than to wake you up. Your cheeks were not flushed like they were during the day and your hair was not combed like it was during the day. Your hair was messy but he liked it. Your perfectionism never allowed you to have a bed head sometimes, but Adam thought it was satisfying to see it all messed up.

Stanheight liked how you looked in this moment a lot… in more ways than one. Stooping, Adam pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. You snuggled closer to your pillow, and Adam sighed. He noticed your lips again, and how close they were to his. It was driving him mad, almost. Those perfect lips, the ones that greeted him everytime he came home from work. The ones that opened for him every time before bed. The ones that always told him they loved him. Without stopping to think he dropped his mouth to yours. Slowly, carefully, so as to not disturb you, Adam kissed you lamely. It was lame because the other half wasn’t recuperating. 

The swirling feelings of kissing you were dull but there nonetheless. He loved every moment of it. Your warm, soft, mouth on his mouth made him happy.  Then Adam leaned back, feeling somewhat satisfied. He had done what he had wanted to do, so he was happy now.

Adam combed his fingers through your (favorite color) hair. You had dyed it recently and it looked absolutely stunning. The dye was good, too. A week in and it wasn’t even washing out! Sometimes he could still smell the dye’s perfume. He admired the color on you for a little while. It suited you quite well. 

You stuck an arm out of the blankets abruptly, causing Adam to lurch backwards. He was trying not to wake you, even if it didn’t look like it. You were just so vulnerable. He never ever got to see you like that. That was what made this moment so special. He trailed a hand down your shoulder all the way to your wrist, where he took hold of your hand. 

For a moment his jeans felt heavy, like there was a sharp rock in his pocket. He could envision the white ring on your finger, shining magnificently. You, all dressed in white silks. The veil over your face, having to lift it up so that he could kiss you. 

Your hands were a little sweaty from being under the blankets for so long. 

Stanheight cupped your cheek and you leaned further into the pillow. Quickly, Adam pulled away. He was sure he would wake you up, if he kept doing this. You just looked so touchable. It was night’s like these, that Adam lost all sense of self-control. But he would never hurt you. Nothing like that!

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the object currently causing him the most discomfort. It was small and white, it glittered whenever the moonlight struck it the right way. He eyed it nervously, and rolled it between his pointer finger and his thumb. It was heavy too, he hoped you wouldn’t mind that. It was the one that made him think of you the most. 

He held it up to his left eye so that he could see through the hole of the ring. There you were at the center, just like you always would be, because you were the center of his world. He needed you.

You didn’t know about the ring yet. He had been too nervous to ask you. All his friends were yelling at him for that. At least they hadn’t spoiled the surprise to Y/N yet.    

Adam crept up behind you on the bed and slightly maneuvered around you till he was comfortable, then he closed his eyes, and breathed in your sweet, feathery, scent. He tucked the ring back into his pocket, and put his forehead on your back, wrapping his arms around your waist. Maybe tomorrow would be the day? He could feel your breaths, it made him calm. He breathed with you. 

Adam nuzzled your neck pleasantly as the light grew brighter around the high-hanging curtains. Your skin was like cotton to his touch. Your hair was as wavy as the cotton fields, and your breath was as slow and magical like the breeze blowing through. Something about it was melodic and rhythmic. So perfect for him. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he murmured into your hair. 

Slowly, as time ticked by, - it was four at this point - Adam was able to fall asleep, curled up next to your warm, healthy body, dreaming of you and all the mischief the two of you’d get into. Stars and galaxies exploding into one another. Madness. Brilliance. Overlapping timelines. Hot and heavy, romantic pleasantries. All in all, it was a wonderful sight to see; a ridiculous rollercoaster ride - mostly nonsensical. If only YOU could’ve been there to share it with him.  

Toxic; I'll Love You Anyway - Adam Stanheight/Reader

A/N Melanie Martinez’s unreleased song - Ring Pop - gave me some serious toxic vibes. And I imagined a new kind of look for Adam. But don’t worry, I’ll stick to the fluff’s from now on…

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You felt the cold seep into your skin. It was quiet tonight, and lonely. You wanted the company again, but you knew that it wasn’t the same - not anymore. You missed the old times, back when everything was right. You had cried yourself to sleep several nights now. In all honesty, this was your life for two years. You didn’t know why you couldn't shake it? Perhaps it was all because you were still haunted by the memories, after all you were still LIVING there.

Your thumb traced over the gift. It was sticky, and smelled like cherries. “I love you,” you whispered, as you stroked the ring pop once more. You didn’t even care that it was making your hands filthy. You would be better once your partner came back - and you knew he would be here very soon. Just a little longer. He had to finish all his work…

But the sight of the other woman’s panites still lingered in your mind, and scarred you. You didn’t want to think about it too much, however it was so daunting. What was with the unfamiliar undergarments? You let out a deep breath into the silent atmosphere, feeling sad. Were you not… good enough for him, anymore?

What was he doing at this moment, you wondered. Was he ACTUALLY doing his work or did just tell you that to make you feel better? You missed Adam Stanheight. Where was he now? You felt like you couldn’t live without him, all you wanted was to feel his embrace again. To kiss him again. Where was he?

Baby, will you be here soon?

“Baddum… a new ring pop…Baddum, a new ring pop…” You murmured to yourself repeatedly. You sank down into the couch when finally a large, white, pool of luminescence portrayed itself on the dark ground, illuminating the room dimly and showcasing the slight silhouette of somebody standing in the doorway. You knew who it was then, and your heart leapt into your throat. It was like finally shooting up after days and days of being away. You ran to him.

Adam greeted you with open arms, as usual. He scooped you up and twirled you once around the room. “Waiting for me in the dark again, I see? What’s with this sudden change of habit?”

You didn’t answer, you just hugged him close. “I love you…”

Adam chuckled. “I love you, too.” It sounded forced, and he pushed past you hastily.

“Adam,” you called. “Why are you home so late? What happened at work? Do I get to know?”

“No.” Adam’s voice echoed strictly through the kitchen and into the living room.

You hung your head disappointedly. “Oh… okay…”

Following him into the kitchen you found him leaning on the counter, attempting to light a cigarette. His hands were trembling too much to keep the lighter down, not to mention his cigarette kept nearly falling from his fingers each time he tried. You stepped up to him so that your bodies were touching, and took both from him. He watched miserably while you steadily held the flame to the cigarette and then let it ignite.

You turned your hand out to him, offering the cigarette back. He lifted your hand up, and closed his lips around the cigarette. Keeping eye contact with you, he took a deep breath in. Immediately upon inhalation Adam’s entire demeanor seemed to change. He seemed slightly more like himself again. You were glad to see him relaxing. “Stressful workday?” You asked him.

“Mmhmm,” Adam mumbled, and nodded.

You stroked a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry, baby. Is there anything I can do?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Adam’s short responses made you feel unappreciated. You were trying your hardest, but why didn’t he want anything to do with you? Why did he always come back to you? “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Are you staying tonight?”

“Yes.”

Your heart jumped, and you looked excitedly into Adam’s eyes. “Really!?”

“Mhm.”

You flung your arms around his shoulders. “Oh yes! Thank you! I love you so much!”

Adam sighed, and nuzzled your forehead. “What are you still doing up? You know it’s late, you should have been asleep a long time ago.”

You shivered at his stern tone. “Y-Yeah… Well, I was waiting for you… Like I always do…”

“Why don’t you get ready for bed? I’ll be right there.”

“What? But you’re staying HERE tonight! We should do something fun! Right? Don’t you wanna have a good time while you’re here with me? Remember when we used to stay up ‘till three watching comedies?”

“Y/N…” Adam whispered gravely. He wasn’t looking at you.

Your heart broke. “You don’t want to do that?”

Adam thought carefully, before saying, “I think we’ve moved on from those days.”

Your heart plummeted to earth, your hopes and dreams falling apart right in front of your eyes. You were devastated, tragic. Frantically, you pressed up against Adam, your hands roaming his body and your noses touching. “But… We can stay up… watch adult cartoons?” Then you asked a little more sexily, “Will you blow up the big balloons/balloon? So big that they all go… pop?”

Adam pulled his head back for another quick drag on his cigarette, but he returned it to its close proximity afterwards. “Y/N…”

“Dress up in each other’s clothes?” you continued desperately. “Dance in the dark to jazz? Have bubblegum at midnight? Get tipsy? Turn off the lights and kiss in the corner? Promise…”

Adam leaned his head forward, and he did kiss you. His lips were so wild it drove you mad. You gasped as he got a little… vulgar… You hadn’t kissed him in so long. It felt like forever ago. It was so good, too. You groaned against his lips.

He pushed away from the counter, and guided you backwards across the kitchen. Adam’s mouth left a slimy trail from your lips to your ear. Your socks slipped on the wood floor as you moved back. A couple of random items littered the floor and your feet skidded into them; the feeling of metal and sharp pins stabbed into the bottom of your right foot. You flinched, but kept moving. You rarely ever got Adam like this anymore, you weren’t going to put a stop to it. You closed your eyes as your back pressed onto the cool, sleek, wall.

It was like water on your lips, engulfing your mouth and taking you under again. Your mind was completely still and silent, peaceful and whole, while your surroundings gave you blackness and quietness. And then, just like a ripple coming through, the water surged upward. The wild waves spilled down your cheeks and neck, and got into your mouth; it was your shore. The feelings made you weak.

Adam pushed you further up the wall, making you squeal audibly. He felt out the layout of his partner’s body. You resurfaced, gasping, panting, in dire need of breath. The repetition played before you like a film that was set to loop; no end seemed to ever come of that ocean. You greeted his waves with your own, each time being more eager than that of the last. You were so deeply in love. Fuck…

Adam had started kissing your chest, and both his hands were pushing your head into the wall, so that it was angled up towards the ceiling. You could feel him making his way further and further down, his lips soft as silks. Down, down, down.

Oh what a wonderful feeling.

And then, as Adam neared your waist, he looked up at you, for the first time taking his mouth off your skin. You shivered at the cold spot on your stomach where his lips had been. You returned his gaze. “What’s the matter?” You wondered.

“I love you.” Adam examined your face for a short moment.

Your heart fluttered dramatically. You loved hearing him say that. “I… I love you, too.”

“But I need you to go upstairs for a little bit, okay? I have… things to take care of…”

“Like what?” You asked seductively. “Anything I can help with?” You put a strong emphasis on ‘I’.

“Y/N,” he said seriously.

“I wish you would trust me to tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m just… cleaning up a little bit…”

He means taking care of the mess he made with the other person downstairs…

“Right,” you said dubiously, and trailed off. There was more you wanted to say but you were… not sure how your questions would affect you later so you just turned around and climbed the stairs.

In the bedroom, you switched the light on, and proceeded to get ready for bed. As you displayed yourself majestically on the bed, hoping to get a good reaction from Adam when he joined you, you thought about some things.

It dampened your mood, unfortunately, but you did wonder about Adam’s loyalty. What the hell was the relationship you had with him? It was like you didn’t exist. You were only there for him when he needed you. You wanted Adam’s love again.

Adam smiled at you when he saw the sight waiting for him. “Well, Y/N. What have we here? Is someone asking for something?”

You would have looked excitedly into his eyes, if you weren’t feeling so somber at the moment. You kept your gaze cast down. “Why do you sleep with other people?” You asked him bluntly, your heart beating loudly, shaking you like an earthquake shakes the earth.

“It’s nothing personal, you know,” he said.

“Then why do you fuck them and not me?” You demanded.

Adam sighed. “You’re my love, Y/N, you know.” His tone was dull and he didn’t meet your gaze. He let his hand fall to yours, and swiftly he removed the pretty, sticky, ring pop from your finger. He discarded it into the wastebasket beside the bed, and then fumbled in the bedside table. He replaced the old one with a new one, and then proceeded to kiss your lips. “You’re always my VIP.”

You looked at the ring pop on your finger again halfheartedly, starting to feel better again. “Really?”

Adam nodded briefly. “Of course.”

“Promise to play house with me forever…”

Adam only watched you disdainfully. “Just relax. You know I have to go back out in the morning.”

Your heart was torn out again. Oh yeah… That’s right… he doesn’t give a fuck about me…

“I love you,” you whispered.

“You, too,” he replied unenthusiastically. “Just remember the ring pop, Y/N. You can never leave me. You won’t.”

You sighed and sank down into the mattress. That ring pop. Oh, that damned, fucking ring pop! How much importance it held. The very meaning of its purpose! It was almost like a marking; an unbreakable bond that was signed off at marriage. It kept you here, trapped you here; a rope of captivity tying you to him for eternity. There was no escaping this… but did you even want to? Something about the way the sharp splinters cut into your skin made you want to tie the knot tighter.

But you knew Adam didn’t love you. Not really at least. Maybe there were times when he returned and he DID remember what he fell in love with, but that part of him was gone. Had been for a long time now. Ever since he married you. Ever since you gave him all your money. But he HAD loved you once upon a time. He HAD cared. He HAD wanted you. And it broke your heart to see it all gone now.

Is this unhealthy? You wondered. Should I leave? Do I want to? You stared up at Adam and the answer came to you instantly. That miserable look in his eyes. He DID need you, just as you needed him. You both were tethered to each other, simply by one existing element: a lonely ring pop that destroyed all of the current reality. You longed for Adam’s love, and somewhere Adam longed for something from you as well, whatever that might be. And together the two combined to make a perfect match out of a million little flaws.

You wondered about Adam, as well. Was he the same person as before? It didn’t really appear like it. Sometimes instead of tying YOU up, the prickly rope tied around ADAM, and he forgot what he was doing. Got confused and disoriented. Got consumed in his lie.

Was he going to come back to you one day? Was he going to come back to his senses? Did he want that? Did YOU want that?

As much as you hated it, you did know the reason for his infidelity. He was lost. He didn't know what he wanted. He got his money, then lost himself. He was looking for something in them. But he held on to you because... well, you were natural.

Normal.

Everything he needed.

That was why he kept coming back. That was why he stayed. And that was why he left.

“What’s the matter?” Adam whispered in your ear softly. “Usually you're squirming by this time.” His voice was low and ominous.

In a rush, the world came crashing down on top of you. White noise filled your ears and darkness consumed your vision. You gasped. Adam was touching on you inappropriately in between the legs, and sending kisses down your jaw. You groaned and rocked your hips into his palm. “A-Adam. Hi. Yes. I-I’m with you.”

“Better be,” Adam mumbled. “Don't leave me like that again.”

You sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Y/N, I love you.” Adam’s voice softened and an ounce of actuality crept into it.

You inhaled sharply. Sometimes you could still hear HIM in his voice. Maybe Adam COULD come back? Maybe, just maybe, he would want to?

“And I love you, Adam…”

Always.

.

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A/N I’m sorry for the sad story. Also, I love how this one turned out. It bleeds tragedy and heartbreak. It’s everything that I dream about writing one day, (not to mention I actually worked really hard to paint the exact picture I had in my mind.) so I'd love it if people would drop a like to let me know what they thought. Thanks so much for the support. I don’t express it but I do appreciate all of you!

~ TwooneZ

Anything For You - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N This one's inspired by Disturbed's song You're Mine. (Lol i need new creativity...)

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You looked at yourself in the mirror. Your clothes were portrayed neatly on your body, your hair was tied back nicely and your shoes fit closely on your feet. You grumbled at yourself in disgust. You pulled a bag from your closet and looked at it with your formal outfit. It was square and blocky, it didn’t look good with your outfit but it was the only one you had. It was five thirty, you were supposed to be meeting with Adam Stanheight in a half hour, but for some reason you were reluctant instead of excited.

You’d been on two dates with him already, both of which had been exceptional, however at this point in time you were having anxiety and doubts. You wondered if Adam would think you were pretty enough. Smart enough. Good enough. He had expressed multiple times that he DID think you were pretty, and smart, and good enough. You were still worried about it though.

You took down your hair, and readjusted it. You tied it, and untied it. Tied it, untied it. This went on for several minutes until you decided not to bother at all. You left it how it was before. Then you grabbed your bag and walked out the door.

Adam Faulkner was waiting for you by the door when you arrived. He smiled at you warmly and offered out his arm. “Hello, beautiful.”

You slunk in next to him, and bashfully looked around the yard, wondering where your nosy neighbors were at that exact moment. You felt very self conscious. “H-Hi… Where are we… going?”

Adam was patient with you. He didn’t try to rush you into anything. “Well, I was thinking about going out to dinner. Is there anywhere you want to go specifically?”

You kept your gaze on the ground. “N-No… Not really.”

“No? Okay.” He gestured to the car. “Well, let me take you out anyway.”

You got into the passenger’s seat awkwardly, and folded your hands in your lap repeatedly. Adam sat down next to you confidently. He seemed to know exactly where he was going. You hummed a song to yourself quietly, not wanting to interrupt the silence.

“How’s your day been?” Adam asked.

You thought about his question for a few minutes. “Lonely,” you said at last. “I don’t really know. I don’t feel that great today.”

Adam shortly pulled to a stop in a grassy lot. A tiny garden was just up ahead, you knew because you’d been there before. It was shrouded by trees and vines, and brush. Various flowers were in the middle of the small clearing, making a cute combination of pinks, reds, oranges, and purples. Azaleas, roses, marigolds, and catmint made up the arrangement. It smelled wonderful.

You looked over at Adam, your fine clothes feeling thin, as though they weren’t really there. Your bottom lip trembled, and your face flushed white. You felt dizzy. “Wh-Wh-What are we doing here?”

Adam took your hand and helped you out of the car. He took you into the garden hastily. You tripped after him, puzzled. What had led Adam to bring you here? Weren’t you getting dinner? “I just want you to relax, Y/N. Tonight is about you.”

“What?” You mumbled. “But… It’s OUR date…”

“Well,” Adam shrugged. “Maybe it’s FOR both of us, but it’s ABOUT you. Come on, I’m trying to cheer you up. You’ve looked sad for a couple days now.”

You hung your head. “I… don’t understand. Weren’t we going out to eat?”

“If that’s what you want. It didn’t seem to appeal much to you. But anyway, I came here to make you feel better.” He brought his hand up to your cheek. “I love you.”

You looked away, feeling awkward. How could you possibly be loved by someone? “Uh…”

Adam pushed you onto the grass. You feel on your butt roughly. “What?”

Adam sat next to you. “I love you…” He hummed out musically.

You kept your gaze on the ground and didn’t say anything. Adam leaned down so that he was laying on his back, staring at the sky, with his arms under his head. “I love it here,” he told you. “It’s so nice and comforting.”

You felt your heart flutter a little bit. What was that feeling? Why did it… tickle so much? “Yeah. It’s gorgeous,” you agreed halfheartedly. Though you were hesitant, it was still your opinion. You really DID like it here.

But something was unnatural. Liveliness was stirring inside you. But… you never felt alive, that wasn’t something that happened to you usually.

Laying down on your stomach, you muttered, “Why do you love me?”

You felt Adam shift behind you. He sat up and dropped his arm around your shoulders. You sighed, and relaxed under him. You felt… good for the first time in a long time. “Because, you’re the most special person in my life, Y/N. You make me feel things so unexplainable… it's unreal. I enjoy our time together. I enjoy how you make me laugh. You’re brilliant, Y/N, and I hope you realize that.”

You sighed, and rolled over so that you were facing him. Adam looked down at you peacefully. You felt warmth spread through your whole body, and you gazed into his face warily. “Adam…” You squeaked desperately. “You know… you mean a lot to me, as well. It’s been such a long time since I felt something so good. After everything that’s happened lately… it’s been hard for me to be strong. But… You know everything that I need. I care for you so much.”

Adam smiled, and tilted his head to the side. “Don’t worry. I’ll be here for you whenever you need it. I want you to be happy. And I’m never going to leave you. Ever.”

You wrapped your arms around Adam’s neck, and he lowered himself on top of you. “You’re never, EVER, gonna leave me?” You whispered quietly into his ear. “But what if… What if you CAN’T be there?”

Adam huffed. His warm breath passed down your neck. “ ‘Can’t’?” He repeated, amused. “What do you think I’m going to be doing? I’ve made YOU my first priority.”

You shivered under him, and almost started crying. Adam’s words made you feel so good, and you hugged him closer. “I love you.”

Adam nuzzled your cheek. “I love you, too.” He pressed a kiss to your sensitive collar bones, and you moaned out.

What was this? Why did you actually feel… okay? It was a slow rising in your stomach and chest that made you feel safe. You looked into Adam’s eyes. All that you ever needed was right there in front of you. How had it taken you so long to realize? There was a numbness in your mind that you hadn’t felt in a very long time; it was like you were finally letting go of your insecurities.

You had never realized that one could do that. You always thought that you were destined to be alone and depressed all the time. You were surprised that you could actually let go of your fears and betrayals and just live life. It was Adam that did that to you. Without him, you would still be a hermit inside your labyrinth of walls. You’d never be able to get out again. But something was stirring deep within you. Your mindset was changing ever so slightly. If only you could feel that you deserved the love you were receiving.

Adam’s lips had gone from your neck to your chin during your musing. You’d barely even felt them, but now that they were creeping up on your lips you were drawn to them once more.

Sparkling waves of bliss coated your mouth. “I get it now,” you mumbled around his lips. “I’m better when I am with you, you deliver me from the pain in my life. Easy now to recognize, all the misery I have been through, it was beating me to submission ‘till the day you arrived.”

Adam pulled back for a moment and looked at you. “Those are some powerful words, Y/N.”

“All true. I’ve realized that the feelings you make me feel are positive. Strength I had lost was revived, and building inside and we both know why. ‘Cause you’re mine.”

“Romantic,” Adam whispered wryly.

“Don’t go,” you whimpered sadly. “Please. I don’t like being alone.”

Adam rubbed his thumb across your cheek. “We can’t stay here forever.”

You let out a sob. “Please…”

Stanheight sighed. “I was hoping to drop by a client’s house tomorrow.”

“Can I come with you?” You asked immediately.

Adam gazed at you in amusement. “When I said ‘leave’ I didn’t mean it physically.”

“Well, I need you physically with me,” you groaned.

“Alright,” Adam agreed. “You can come.”

“Does that mean you’re going to stay with me?”

“I suppose I don’t have a choice now, do I?”

“Being with you makes me feel good,” you spluttered self consciously. You could feel heat crawling up your cheeks like you were a jungle gym. It made you feel vulnerable.

“How can I say ‘no’ to that? Of course I’ll stay with you.”

You smiled at him shyly. “Thank you. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I just really need this right now.”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for. I understand that we all have times when we feel really low. And that’s why I’m here: to lift you up again.”

You nodded. “Alright.”

Faulkner kissed you again, blurring reality and fantasy together. You hardly had time to get a breath before you were making-out. His warm lips on yours, his soft hands under your shirt, his scent in your nose. It made you dizzy, and you closed your eyes, trying to get more of him, trying to feel more of him. All your mind could concentrate on was the persistence of his mouth. How it made you feel, how it knew what it was doing. It lulled you and hyped you up at the same time.

God, this was wonderful.

Finally after a long time, you were pulling away. It could have easily been as long as a half hour, but to you it felt like mere seconds. You were stunned and your lips felt like they were buzzing slightly. You blinked. “Woah…” you whispered.

Adam picked you up off the ground, and carried you back to the car. “Y/N, I need you to understand. I’m here to make you whole again.” He dumped you into the passenger’s seat. “To help you rediscover, and resurrect someone who’d died.”

“Wow,” you drawled slowly. “That’s a lot.”

“I’d do anything for you.”

“This is why I need you.”

Adam took the wheel and gave you a wink. “I’m here for you always.”

You sank back into the chair, and fastened your seatbelt. Adam took you home, though he didn’t plan on leaving you all alone tonight. Obviously, you needed some self care and affection. He didn’t want you to suffer this by yourself. He loved you so much, and he wanted you to see that just as he did. You were perfect, no matter what you thought or said about yourself. And he would get you to see it, too. One day.

Right now though, unfortunately, was not the day. Some work would need to be put into this, but he believed in you, even if nobody else did. To him, you were the most important thing in his life, seeing you so down made him feel unhappy as well. But the future was clear and bright to him, even though it wasn’t for you. Easily, Adam could already see all the great things that you and him were going to accomplish together.

All it took was just a little bit of faith…

And you would learn that, too.

Falling For You - Adam Stanheight / Reader

This was inspired by a Three Days Grace song, Over and Over. :) First story in five months, enjoy! 

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Fury, resentment, passion, repetition, falling, falling, falling. Always falling into that pit of bitterness. Red curtains pulled back, hot steam dripping from the window, and the whole world flipping over. You were so angry! Outraged at yourself, as you watched Adam leave through the window, heart beating fast, and breath coming slow. Your hands pulled at the red, fluffy curtains, boiling up, up, up until you thought you’d explode. You shut the curtains closed for the fourth time, and stalked to the bedroom in your apartment, hoping to get some sleep tonight, but you didn’t want to lay on the bed. You weren’t even a little bit tired. 

That feeling crept back into you again, the loneliness, the emptiness, the deadness. You felt like nothing without him, but you tried to convince yourself you didn’t. You were desperate, that's what you told yourself, every single time. 

No matter, you felt those feelings every damn day, but you knew better. Adam wasn’t the one to blame for this, YOU were. You couldn’t get over him. You, you, you, you, you, you.  

The bitterness revamped itself suddenly, causing you to crash to the floor, clutching your head in frustration. Terrible, terrible, frustration. You slammed your fists into the wooded floor of your apartment, your mind reeling, trying to get over your feelings. But Adam’s face stayed in your mind, so fresh, and you screamed. 

The pain of having him leave ate at you. You got to your feet, taking deep, calming breaths. You had to be strong in order to overcome this, but you didn’t like it. What was wrong with you? Why did this always happen? Why couldn’t you stay at home? Why did you have to do the same thing every time? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why?

You took cautious steps toward the door, despite your better judgment. Your heart tried to climb back into your chest, but it slipped and fell back down, and you knew what you had to do. 

“I feel this shit everyday,” you grumbled wretchedly, fighting with the cold doorknob. It was sticky. You forced the door open with vigor, and the pained creak it made made you flinch. “Why do I do this?”

You headed down the stairs, your stomach churning with unhappiness, but your heart beating with love. You needed this. No, you needed HIM. You needed ADAM. “So here I go again…”  You ran out the door, screaming Adam’s name, begging him to come back, begging him not to leave you again. And there you went, chasing him down again, like every time. Like last week. Like two weeks before. Like three weeks before. Like fifty-two weeks ago. You couldn’t stop. Over and over. Over and over, you fell for him, and you didn’t try to, but it kept happening, like a song on repeat. Over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over.  

“Adam!” You shouted, as you ran around the corner. There he was, sitting in his car, having a smoke break before leaving you for the week. Your heart melted into a puddle. He was so attractive. He was… perfect… Your fury dissipated. Just seeing him made you happy. Seeing him with that damn cigarette caused you to stumble over your feet. You breathed a sigh of relief. 

He’s still here…  You realized. Oh, geeze. Why do I do this? 

You walked up to his car, and greeted him gently. “Hi…”

“Y/N.” Adam sounded surprised to see you standing at his car window, even though it was a weekly tradition. He should have been used to this. “How are you?”

“I’m… I’m…” Words left your brain as soon as he asked the question. 

“Awe, cat got your tongue?” He blew on his cigarette. 

“No, no. It’s only just… I don’t want you to go.”

Adam was silent, as he focused on his cigarette. 

Your heart had palpitations, as you fell for him once again in your lifetime. “Oh boy,” you whispered, trying to get a hand on your feelings. “I don’t really feel like that…”

“Hmm?” 

“Nothing…” You gasped anxiously.

“Mmmh.” The responses were so similar but you could hear the difference. This one was more dubious sounding than the first. It killed you having to lie to him. It killed you telling him it was nothing. It killed you trying to leave him. 

“I should get going.” You forced the words out through gritted teeth. 

Adam only gave you a disbelieving squint of his eyes, but he never took his lips off the cigarette. Those soft, thin, lips… Oh how you wanted to kiss them. 

His hollow cheeks… His lithe body… His long legs… 

Oh, fuck…

You wanted to mark him. Make him yours. But you also knew what was best for you. Knew you shouldn’t date your coworker. Knew he was a bad idea. It took so much energy to walk away from him, when he made your mouth water like this. You felt good next to him. You didn’t want to go back home. You didn’t want to wait till next week. You knew better, but you wanted him instead. 

I’ll just keep wasting all my time, if I don’t confess now. 

“Hey, Adam…” You murmured, walking closer to the car. 

Adam Stanheight put out his cigarette, sensing this was going to be important. He gazed into your eyes expectantly, but didn’t say a word. He was patient with you, and so gentle, and kind.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” You asked him nervously, your heart tearing into your ribcage, screaming at you that this was wrong. You were so weak, and you leaned through the window. “Please.”

“Sure. All you had to do was ask,” Faulkner replied smartly, and you got red in the face, heat making you dizzy, and you fell to the ground, crying. 

Adam got out of the car nonchalantly, and knelt down in front of you. “Y/N,” he said seriously. “What’s wrong?” He hugged you, and you hid your face into his shoulder. 

“I don’t want you to go,” you choked out again. You were so on edge you didn’t feel right. You didn’t know how to feel. You didn’t even know what you wanted to say to Adam.

And Adam smiled. He knew. Even if YOU didn’t, HE did. “Y/N…” 

Your mouth was suddenly being pressed up against by his thin lips, grounding you, bringing you back into real life. His kiss was excruciating, lulling. “I love you,” he said breathlessly. 

“I try not to…” you admitted.

“Let me hear you say it.”

“I fall for you,” You replied. “You make me fall for you.”

Over and over… You added silently to yourself. 

“You don’t even try to.”

Adam kissed you again, and the world started spinning. Faster, faster, faster. So fast, you couldn’t even see the trees, they were all blurring together. And your lips locked with Adam’s so perfectly, so evenly. This was right.

“Who’s quitting?” Adam asked. 

He was joking, but you answered so quickly, it shocked both of you. “I will.”

Adam studied you. “That’s nice of you.”

“I’d do anything to be with you,” you blurted.

“Yes, I know,” Adam said casually, like he was expecting you to say that.

“So many thoughts that I can’t get out of my head,” you confessed. 

“What kind?” Adam inquired, leaning in close.

You felt goosebumps arise all over your skin. “Let’s go inside, and I’ll tell you,” you breathed out.

Adam kicked his car door closed with his left foot, and came to walk beside you. “No, please. I’d like you to SHOW me.” 

You could feel him pressing up against you so insistently, rubbing your back longingly, and you were so weak, too weak. You looked up at him, eyes as big as a deer’s. “For sure.” You made a promise, and promises were hard to break. 

Car Ride - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N This is inspired by Chasing colors, by Marshmello!

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You felt refreshed. The sunlight warmed your skin, the wind blew in your hair, and the sound of the squeaky tires made you excited. You gripped the steering wheel tightly in your clasp, as the music blasted your ears. The roof was rolled all the way down so that you were in direct contact with the outside atmosphere. Adam Faulkner was beside you, but you were so focused on the road that he kept flickering in and out of your vision. You could smell the cigarette smoke coming from the passenger’s side, where Adam was located.

Bright, rainbow, lights flashed wildly in your eyes. You found it hard to keep your eyes on the road, but you could see well enough to have an idea of where everything was situated. You were going down fast. Fast, fast, fast. So very fast. You loved it.

“Y/N,” Adam mumbled around his cigarette. “Don’t you think you should slow down a little bit?”

You squinted your eyes, trying to see around the rainbow streaks of light. You grunted. “No way.”

Adam blew out on his cigarette, and then leaned over to you. He kissed your cheek gently, and started combing his fingers through your hair. You could feel his body heat creeping up your skin.

“A-Ahh,” you stammered.

Faulkner nuzzled your cheek, and whispered “I miss you over here. When will we be home?”

“Um… I don’t know…” You grumbled. “Sorry. I’m not going home yet.”

Adam kissed you again, and then sat back in his seat. He continued to smoke. You rounded a corner aggressively, your tires skidding all along the black pavement, screaming at you all the while. You never let up from the gas. Not once. You took delight in watching the trees and fields and other cars pass by so quickly you couldn’t even tell what they were. They all looked like colorful blurs at the side of your vision. You liked it for some reason; you were pretty sure it was because it took your mind off reality.

There was a break in the music, putting the car in total silence. Adam took this moment to speak. He said, “I just don’t want you getting hurt, Y/N. Will you please slow down? It’s really not your time to join…” he looked up at the sky.

You let out a condescending scoff. Adam could be so overprotective of you. “Baby, I’m not gonna get hurt. This is all just good fun. You worry too much, won’t you relax? Just for right now.”

“I mean… your life matters, don’t you know that? Please, stop the car.”

Your mind went blank suddenly. You couldn’t even believe the words you were hearing. “I’m not here to kms!” You shouted at him. “I’m here because I need to relax. Christ, Adam, take a chill pill.”

“I… didn’t think that…” Adam stammered slowly. “I was just worried that you might get in an accident.”

“Oh my god, baby, why are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” Adam inhaled once again on his cigarette.

“Referring to me in singular, like you’re not here with me.”

“Oh yeah…” Adam mumbled. “I guess I wasn’t really thinking straight.”

“What does that mean?” You asked him incredulously.

“I’m just not as worried about myself as I am about you. I love you. I don’t want you to leave this world.”

“Oh, so it’s okay for you to go?”

“Well… no, that’s… I didn’t mean it like that. Of course I value my life, but… you come first.”

You shivered, getting a weird sense of dejavu. You looked at him in suspicion, but Adam only pointed out the windshield. “Look at the road!” He exclaimed.

You brought your eyes back to where they should have been. Nothing was out of sorts, but Adam was being his usual, anxious self.

“Holy shit, Y/N. You can’t just do that!”

You sighed heavily, and grabbed the steering wheel harder. “Sorry. Sheesh.”

“Are you trying to get yourself… Are you trying to get us killed!?”

He had to correct himself? You asked yourself. What the fuck is going on with you today, baby?

“I always go this fast, what are you talking about?”

“You know the speed limit is thirty five, right? What is this?” He peered over your shoulder to get a glimpse. “Sixty!?”

You rolled your eyes. “What’s the matter, Adam? I don’t understand! You’re being strange.”

Adam was oddly silent. He raised the cigarette to his mouth again, and didn’t answer you. You licked your lips nervously, unsure of the situation. You just wanted everything to be normal. “I know it’s been rough after everything that’s happened. I’m just glad you’re able to go on rides with me. It makes me feel really happy.”

Adam took a deeper breath on his cigarette and let it out slowly. The conversation ended after that, and the music popped back on. You weren’t really in the mood to listen to it anymore, but it gave you something to concentrate on, so you didn’t turn it off.

Your vision blurred, the rainbow lights flashed once more. You kept your eyes open though, for Adam. Adam would be panicking if you closed your eyes. Adam didn’t say anything even though he could see you losing yourself. You were impressed by that.

The drums and guitar bounced around the car and echoed in your ears. Synthesizer calmed your nerves and the beat was steady. You enjoyed everything that you were hearing. You sighed. “Are you okay?” You asked Adam.

His voice was quiet when he spoke, and his words seemed to fade in and out throughout the sentence. “I don’t want you to go through what I went through.”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” You smiled in amusement.

“I don’t want you to end up like me.”

Confusion engulfed you. “What?”

“Oh, look at that,” Adam whispered gravely, looking into the rearview mirror.

You followed his gaze. There were red and blue flashing sirens coming up behind you. You started to slow down. “You think they’re after me?”

“Eh,” Adam shrugged. “More or less, I suppose.”

Adam’s indifference concerned you. “What?”

“Let’s just see what they have to say.”

“I don’t get it…” You told him. “Why doesn’t this concern you?”

“Who said it didn’t?” Adam shot back, and then rolled up his window.

You raised an eyebrow at him. “You want me to suffocate on your secondhand smoke!?”

Adam flickered in front of you. Your eyes stretched wide in alarm and you backed away. Adam moved again, and a shadow flickered across his face. You realized that it was only a shadow. You couldn’t really relax after that though.

Turning, you met the officer who had been tailing you. “Excuse me,” he said.

You bowed your head respectfully. “I’m sorry sir. I was unaware of what street I was on,” you lied. “It won’t happen again.”

“I’m not here for your speeding,” the policeman said casually.

You tilted your head at him. “What?”

“I think a friend is looking for you. Do you recognize this name?” The officer handed you a paper with a name and birthdate on it.

Your hands trembled as you looked at it. That was your best friend’s name! “W-What happened? Are they okay!?” Your heart beat increased drastically. Fear pulsed through your veins. You didn’t want to find out that they were dead!

This can’t be happening! I’ve seen way too much death recently!

Adam scoffed at you suddenly. “You act like you haven’t though,” he commented. “You pretend like everything’s okay, when you know it’s not. Come on baby, put two and two together.”

You looked over at him. He had his eyes closed and his head leaned back on the headrest. His cigarette was held perfectly in the corner of his mouth, and his hands were folded together on his stomach. He looked perfectly relaxed. Your mouth flapped open and closed uselessly.

Was he reading my mind?

“Your friend is fine,” the officer said calmly, interrupting your train of thought.

“Oh, well that’s good-”

“L/N,” the man said straightforwardly. “I just need you to step out of the car. You’re not allowed to be driving. And not to mention, you’re not supposed to be unsupervised.”

“ ‘Unsupervised’?” you looked to your right. Adam was still sleeping next to you. You poked him, and he looked at you darkly. “I’m not.”

“ ‘You're not’?” The officer asked you in contempt. His eyes flashed around the car quickly, and then he leaned down in front of you. “Well, where’s the other person?” His voice dripped with superiority.

Your mind was running at one hundred miles per hour. You were trying to wrap your mind around this concept. You gazed at Adam again. Adam had his arms over his chest now, a smug look on his face. “Tell him… Go on, now. Tell him who you’re with.”

Confused, you said softly, “Adam… I don’t understand… Please help me understand.”

“Adam?” The officer asked in disbelief. “L/N, I’m sorry but… your boyfriend died in Jigsaw’s game three months ago.”

Your flushed face turned to him in anguish. “What!? No, you’re insane, you must be! Adam’s been here the whole time, I’ve been riding with him the whole time, you can’t be serious!”

The policeman simply wrote something down in his notepad. Nonchalantly, he inquired, “Your friend wants to know if you’ve taken your medicine today.”

“My medicine? What medicine, I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“This?” The man held up a red bottle. Something in your mind snapped. You recognized it from somewhere.

“That… is mine…” You clumsily admitted. “I don’t know why I need it.” You looked at Adam for help.

Adam blew smoke into your face, you coughed and glared at him. “I knew it was a bad idea to be speeding,” he informed you offhandedly.

“Adam, stop!” You wailed, and grabbed his shoulders. You shook him. “Please help me! Please, I don’t understand what’s happening! I miss you, that’s all! I just want to know what’s going on!”

Adam took his cigarette and put it in your hand. “Take the medicine. Go back to your friend, and remain there.”

“But I don’t want to leave you!” You cried. You buried your face into his shoulder. Adam held you close. “That’s why I stopped taking the medicine!” You gasped once the words left your mouth. “That’s why… I drove down here. I was going to your apartment.”

“Not a good idea,” the policeman cut in.

“ ‘Someone already moved in there’,” Adam said knowingly.

“Someone already moved in there,” the policeman said right after. His voice was serious.

You shuddered. “But I want to stay with you. You seem real. You give me everything I need.”

“Well, maybe that’s because it’s not quite all your imagination…” Adam breathed.

“So you are real?”

Adam frowned. “I shouldn’t be,” he said at last.

“So you are!?”

“Take your pills,” Adam advised.

“No, I don’t get what you mean.”

“You will,” Adam promised, then leaned back into the seat. He didn’t take his cigarette from you.

Cautiously, you turned back to the man, who was waiting awkwardly for your psychotic break to be over. “I’ll take them,” you said uneasily. “I’ll take them for Adam. He wants me to.”

The officer gave you a cup of water, and a pill from inside the bottle. You swallowed it easily. It was way more easy than you were expecting, almost like you’d done this many times before.

“L/N, can you please get out of the car? I need to take you home.”

You clambered out of the car reluctantly, Adam was still sleeping inside. “What about…?”

The condescending officer looked at you empathetically. His demeanor changed to something more light. “Don’t worry. Adam will be okay. You know he’s safe where he is, right?”

You stared at the car miserably. “No,” you said honestly.

The officer gently pulled you into the police car and started to take you home. “What’s in your hand, sweetie? I’m sorry, I call everyone ‘sweetie’ regardless of their gender.”

You felt safer now. Your mind was starting to relax. You opened your hand slowly, and looked into it. Adam’s cigarette was still resting there, burnt up and put out. You were in no mental state to understand how Adam’s cigarette was in your physical hand while he himself was not here at all. You rolled it back and forth between your palms during the whole ride.

Emptiness swam inside your stomach, and filled up your lungs. You couldn’t really breathe around the tightness. Finally the medicine started acting up. You felt yourself resurfacing, felt yourself regaining your thoughts.

You stumbled into your best friend’s arms, and let them hold you. You were getting an earful from them but you couldn’t hear the words. Behind your friend’s back, you unfolded your palms again. Not even registering your friend’s embrace, you only focused on your belongings.

You could almost feel Adam in your hand at this moment. Just having the cigarette in your fingers was mesmerizing. If you couldn’t be with Adam again, then you refused to let this thing go. Ever. That was just how your life was gonna be. There was nothing anyone could do about it. You closed your fingers around it protectively, secretly. No one would ever find THIS.