All's Not Forsaken - Adam Stanheight / Reader

All's Not Forsaken - Adam Stanheight / Reader

TW: Negative Self-Esteem/Depression.

A/N - Inspired by Disturbed's song, The Light. I hope you enjoy!

TW: Negative Self-Esteem/Depression.

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It was Wednesday, three pm. Work had just finished for you, and as always, you’d gone to grab something to drink with your friends; Adam Faulkner Stanheight was included, of course. You were just leaving, your right hand getting cold from holding the fourth drink, it was your fiancé’s. 

You had been quiet for most of the trip from work to here. You could sense Adam’s depression as soon as you’d seen him, but you hadn’t had the heart to bring it up with him in front of your friends. You tried to tell yourself that it was just your anxiety, but you knew better than that. 

Adam greeted you with a smile though. It wasn’t one of those fake smiles either, it was genuine; one of those ‘I’m so happy to see you’ and ‘I love you so much,’ smiles. He hugged you. 

Adam though had chosen to stay in the car while you went into the shop with your friends. He hadn’t even requested anything, but you had ordered something for him anyway. You didn’t want him to miss out. That would have made you feel really sad! 

The weather had been clear for most of the day, however when work ended for you it started pouring, hail and rain were mixed in. You were unsatisfied to see that it hadn’t changed while you were ordering your drinks. You bobbed your head up and down to the song playing on the radio, as you waited for your friends to finish adjusting their coffees. You had gone through the alphabet twice when they arrived. 

Slowly, while laughing and joking, you walked back to Adam, who had his forehead on the top of the steering wheel, so as to not interrupt the silence with loud honking. Your demeanor changed at the sight. Seeing your significant other look so desolate made you unhappy. Your friends had wandered off together to go look in one of the strip malls. 

You pried the door open with a pinky finger, and then set your drink into one of the cup holders. “Hey, Adam,” you whispered. 

Adam Faulkner sat back, wiping at his eyes incessantly, trying to look completely laid back. “You’re back. Where’d your friends go?”

You attempted to ignore the sadness drifting off of Adam. “Over there.” You pointed to a shop across the street, and squinted your eyes to keep the sunlight out of them. From the corner of your vision though, you caught Adam trying not to break down. 

At first you were going to let him solve it, and not bring attention to his feelings. But after five antagonizing minutes, you got reckless. Watching him try to cover up sobs - and failing at it, by the way - was too much to bear. 

“Adam,” you breathed empathetically, and came around to his side. You straddled his lap. “I got you something.” You lifted the drink to Adam’s lips. 

Adam turned his head away. “I’m not thirsty.”

But that didn’t stop you. You turned his head towards you again, and tipped the cup forward. Adam gagged in surprise, but then took the cup from you, downing a quarter of its contents one go. 

When he was able to talk again, he looked at you in bewilderment. “You got my favorite…”

You smiled in amusement. “Of course!”

“Heh… thanks.” Adam looked insecure, as he put the cup into the holder next to yours. 

“Better?” You asked. To your disappointment, Adam shook his head. “No? Is there anything I can do to help?”

Adam just gazed at you heartbrokenly. He looked on the verge of tears. You opened your arms to him. “Come here,” you encouraged. 

Adam laid his head on your shoulder and started crying. He was so distraught it hurt you. You put your chin on top of his head, and breathed in his scent. 

The shoulder of your shirt was getting soaked from Adam’s tears, but you didn’t mind really. All that mattered to you right now was Stanheight. Your fiancé was having a difficult time as of late, due to traumatic past events. You felt really bad for him. 

Wrapping your arms around Adam’s waist, you pulled him close. There was no sound except for Adam’s weak crying. You held him tightly, rocking back and forth like you would a baby. The hollowness in your stomach increased with every breath released from his lungs. If only there was something you could do for him. 

“It’s alright,” you murmured. “I’m here with you.” You lifted your hands up his back comfortingly. “I’ll always be here.” Adam pressed closer, but didn’t say anything. “Please don’t shut me out, Adam. What’s wrong?”

You waited patiently for Adam to gather himself, and then he gazed at you. His eyes were red and squinted, tears were running down his face, and his skin was pale white. “Hi…” You greeted reassuringly once his eyes came up to yours. 

Adam choked lamely, unable to speak. It broke your heart. “I love you,” he mustered, his voice wavering. 

You felt something crack inside of you. Having your groom-to-be look at you like he would never see you again and tell you that he loved you, was so touching, but also horrible. You didn’t like seeing him look at you like that, but his words were so sweet, you almost started crying as well. 

You knew you had to be strong for Adam though. Crying wasn’t going to make him feel better. You frowned sadly at him. “Awe… I love you, too, Adam.”

“Why?” Adam asked unhappily. 

“ ‘Why’?” You repeated, shocked. “Why is space infinite? I don’t know, I just do. You’re my best friend.”

“But how?” Faulkner tilted his head at you, searching your eyes for some kind of answer. “What did I do for you? I’m just the pathetic, mentally-unstable, person in the friend group.”

You blew out a saddened breath, your chest falling in on itself. Ouch. 

“You’re so much more than that, baby,” you insisted. “You work so hard at your job. You’re so passionate about it. And you love taking care of people… Especially me,” you winked at him. 

Adam shook his head and coughed on another sob. “I’m not as good as you think,” he grumbled. 

You leaned your head down to his ear. “How so? Explain to me, how so?” 

Adam grabbed your shoulders tighter. “I’m… I’m…” Your fiancé had to think for a moment. “I’m a mess, Y/N. I’m so stuck in the past. I can’t even walk into the bathroom at night without turning the lights on. I should be better for you.”

“No,” you whispered emphatically, and pulled your head back to look at him, insistence shining in your (e/c) eyes. “You don’t need to be better. I don’t need you to be like that at all! You’ve been through something terribly traumatic. There’s nothing you CAN do. It’s okay to feel weak, Adam. You’re okay. I love you so much.”

“You shouldn’t.”

You sighed. “And cars shouldn’t pollute the atmosphere, but that hasn’t changed. So, why will I?” You responded wittily, then added more seriously.  “I DO love you. HAVE, loved you. WILL love you. You can’t make me change my mind. I know who you are on the inside, and I know that it’s hard for you to accept that you’re worth my time, but that won’t make me love you any less. One day you will get it.”

“I’m sorry…”

“None of this is your fault.”

Adam glared at you. “I NEED to be better. YOU need me to be better. I’m useless with what I’m doing right now. I can’t believe I thought going back to photography was going to be enough.”

You grasped Adam’s cheeks in your hands. “YOU are all I need. That’s it. You. I don’t care about anything else. And don’t you realize what going back to photography has done for you? It’s something, baby; you can’t blame this on that. If it weren’t for the photography, you wouldn’t be HERE. Maybe you don’t know it yet, but it’s doing so much more than you even realize. I can see it. You can’t see it yet, but I can. And I’m so proud of you.”

Adam Stanheight was stunned by your speech. He stared at you in amazement, like you’d just grown wings and learned to fly. A shockwave of emotions came crashing over him. An avalanche of feelings just so supreme to anything else it unleashed another rain storm of tears. Faulkner hugged you, pushing his head into your other shoulder. Pretty soon both your sleeves would be wet. 

You bit your lower lip. “I love you, Adam,” you breathed out desperately. “You’re so good, already. I love you.”

Adam leaned back in the chair and nodded. “I love you, too.”

You smiled contentedly. “Alright. You ready to go home?”

“Yeah,” Adam told you sadly.

You combed your hand through his hair and trailed it down his face. “I’m sorry you’re not feeling good today.”

“Mmmh,” Adam grunted and leaned his cheek into your palm, a miserable expression on his face. 

“Lemme grab my friends, okay?”

Adam glanced at you worriedly. “Alright.”

“I’ll be back.”

Adam nodded, and you stepped out of the car. You turned around speedily, coming face to face with both of your friends. You stumbled back hesitantly, eyes wide. They were watching you awkwardly. “Um… We didn’t want to interrupt,” one of the friends said.

“Oh, you heard that?” You asked.

“Why don’t we just head home?” The other friend suggested. 

“Right…” you remained standing there for a little bit, until one of your friends opened the back car door. They both slid inside nervously, and you entered through the passenger’s side. 

“We’re all ready, I think, Adam,” you informed him. Your fiancé fumbled with the keys numbly, as he started the drive back towards your apartments. 

The radio started playing, making you jump. You let your head fall back against the headrest, you closed your eyes, and rolled the window down slightly. The cool air blew into your face and hair, and did somewhat soothe you. 

“-An unforgivable tragedy. 

The answer isn’t where you think you’d find it.

Prepare yourself for the reckoning, for when your world seems to crumble again.”

Subconsciously, you tapped your foot to the beat, which was heavy and strong. The car jerked wildly to the right, then straightened out.

“Don’t be afraid, don’t turn away.

You’re the one who can redefine it.”

There was some more wobbling of the car. 

“Don’t let hope become a memory.

Let the shadow permeate your mind, and reveal the thoughts that were tucked away, so that the door can be opened again.”

There was a whimper from somewhere next to you, and you were thrown to the left roughly. You didn’t need to open your eyes to know it was a windy road.

“Within your darkest memories, lies the answer if you dare to find it.

Don’t let hope become a memory.

When you think all is forsaken, 

Listen to me now.

All’s not forsaken.

You need never feel broken again.

Sometimes darkness can show you the light.”

You were shoved so far to the right, your head banged the glass window. You opened your eyes then, and looked at the driver. Adam was trying to keep his eyes on the road while miserably trying not to cry. His face was strained with the effort and his hands were planted so tightly on the wheel that they were white. 

“You need strengthening, toughening.

It takes an inner dark to rekindle the fire burning in you.

Ignite the fire within you.”

Adam struggled to get the car back into the lane. Cars were coming at you from the opposite direction. In a panic you slammed your hands on the wheel, wrenching Adam away from it entirely. “Stop!” You yelled. “Brake! Brake!” 

Adam was petrified to the chair. He watched in horror as your friends screamed in the backseat. You jerked the wheel back to the right, just narrowly missing a passing car. Your heart beat heavily in your chest as the car slowly started to comply with your demands. Adam still hadn’t found the mental state to press one the brakes, or at least hit the hazard lights. You were all on your own.

Three more cars streaked past you. You tried not to flinch. “ADAM!” You wailed. “ADAM! Help me!” You could feel the car drift over on to the correct side again. “Brake! Adam!” The car was steadily increasing in speed. You tried to keep your eyes on the road and not on the speedometer. Fifty, fifty one, fifty two - road. Fifty eight, fifty nine, sixty, sixt one - road. 

There was a loud slap from right next to you, and a large gust of wind. Your friend was shrieking profanities at your frightened fiancé. They had slapped him in an attempt to wake him from his stupor. 

Adam flinched, finally tearing his gaze away from the windshield. He hit the brakes with full force. The car skidded, sliding fifty feet in its wake, and screaming all the way down. Faulkner was crying at this point, as would anyone. The song had changed and was playing Can’t Buy Me Love - by the Beatles. You flicked your fingers onto the dashboard, silencing the car stereo once and for all. 

You looked up at Adam, who was bright red, and sobbing quietly to himself. He looked mortified. Gazing back at the two others in the car, you asked, “Everyone alright back there?”

“I think so.”

“Yeah.”

“What about you, Adam?” You turned back to him.

Adam had gone completely white in the face. He was shaking and shuddering. His hands were trembling, and his lips were bleeding from his biting. Your heart shattered, and you leaned over and kissed him. Your mouth was filled with the flavor of iron. “You okay?” You asked him. 

Adam couldn’t talk. He only gaped at you in terror. You hugged him. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Breathe with me.”

“What happened!?” Someone yelled from the back. 

Adam whimpered. He choked and gagged, before he could finally speak. When he did, he could only whisper very quietly. You were the only one that could hear his response. “I was… just…” Deep breath in. “I was just…” Deep breath out. “I was just trying… The song made me think about you…”

Your mouth fell open. “Oh… Come here.”

“I tried not to… but it made me feel like… I was valid again… You know, that feeling when you’re drowning, but instead of dying your breathing… It was like that… And I lost control of the car… I’m such a fucking idiot.”

You hugged Adam. “No. No, you’re not. It’s okay. Accidents happen.”

“I almost got you killed! I almost got us all killed! How did I even pass my driver’s test?”

“Shh. That was a long time ago. You passed because you know what you’re doing.”

“Are you sure about that last part!?” One of your friends chimed in. 

You cast them a glare from over your shoulder. “Let’s just take a break from driving for a little bit,” you said worriedly. 

Adam started to undo his seatbelt immediately. He was shaking incredibly. 

“Why don’t you let me drive?” You asked. 

Adam struggled to crawl over you but you both managed to switch places without getting out of the car. It was a miracle, for sure. You started up the car, your two friends exchanging disbelieving looks with each other, and headed back towards home, Adam a total mess of a breakdown right now.  This time, the radio remained off for the rest of the car ride, and everyone made it home unharmed. The same could not be said for Adam, though. Your poor fiancé ended up blaming himself for the mistake; he would not allow himself into the driver’s seat again for the next twelve months. 

Well, there was a work in progress. But you still loved him, and that would never change. Try telling HIM that, though.  

Sexual Tension - Adam Stanheight / Reader

18+ HEAVY FLUFF

A/N This story is slightly more detailed in writing. I'm gonna put a warning just in case. Idk. Anyway, please enjoy the new story!

18+

Rainy days were the worst days, but sometimes they could be the best, too. Mostly, they were terrible and cold and wet and filthy, but today was an exception. You sat in front of the big cozy fireplace that was located at the center of the cafe. This place was special because you’d met Adam Faulkner Stanheight here for the very first time. It felt like such a long time ago now, but it had only been six months. You’d hit it off pretty well with the man, in fact it had become a weekly activity to meet at this place, after work, on Friday. Your time spent with Adam took your mind off the crappy weather outside. You loved that.

Stanheight came bouncing in through the glass, double doors, shaking his umbrella. He looked mostly dry… He’d warm up in no time standing by the fire. But you did feel bad for him, seeing as he had to walk most of the way in the rain. That was his choice, though. He didn’t want to take the bus, he preferred walking.

Adam saw you eyeing him from across the room. He folded his umbrella and struck a pose. You covered your mouth daintily with your hand, smiling a little bit in amusement. He crossed over to you and sat in front of the fire. “How’re you, lovely?” He winked.

You giggled, feeling shy and fuzzy at the same time. “I’m good. How are you, Adam?”

“Swell,” He said smugly. “But I’m much better when I’m with you.”

You blushed brightly, and glanced away from his eyes. You got all fidgety when Adam was around. “That’s so nice of you.”

“Is it?” Adam asked, as he leaned back against the couch, and looked at you. He gestured you over with his hand. “Come here, darling. What are you doing by yourself?”

You crawled over him and laid down with your head in his lap. You felt warm and content. Your heart was like a panicked butterfly in a cage, slamming its wings painfully into the bars, trying to burst free. It made you dizzy, but you held on to sanity for just a little longer. You breathed steadily, keeping your nerves calm, forcing yourself not to dive out of the pressuring moment. You felt good. “You’re so warm, Adam,” you said softly.

Adam looked down at you lovingly, a small smile on his lips. “So are you. You’ve been sitting by the fire for a while, haven’t you?”

You nodded, your hair poofing itself around your head at the motion. Adam stroked his fingers through your hair compassionately. “Mmh, you’re pretty, do you know that?”

Surprised, you met his gaze. From this angle the overhead light cast a shadow on Adam’s face. For him, the overhead light cast a glow to your face. Shadows surrounded your face, corrupting your hair and neck. “Thank you. You’re too.”

“Not nearly as good looking as you.”

You sat up finally, your throat feeling dry. “Hey… Um… I’m going to get something to drink. You want something?”

Adam considered you for a short minute, then said, “I guess I could use a glass of water; I haven’t had anything to drink since this morning. But just so you know, there’s something else I’d rather have in my mouth right now.”

“W-What would that be?” You asked dumbly, you wanted to make sure you understood correctly. Adam only tilted his head up at you in reply, but said nothing else. “I’ll just get you that water…” you decided nervously.

Adam watched you leave while a wry smile crept up on his face. He’d just take this moment to check you out. Your body was stunning.

Coming up to the counter, you ordered two waters. Now that you weren’t so close to your love interest, you were able to think clearly again. The brain fog was lifting like a cloud after a thunderstorm. Sun was shining through now, making it easier to see.

“Y/N! Y/N! Will you please move forward? You’re blocking the line!”

You shook yourself out of your trance, and looked around frantically. The barista was glaring at you over his glasses. You hurried out of the way to grab your orders, apologizing repeatedly. You felt awkward now. You headed back towards Adam hesitantly. While you did enjoy spending time with him, it took up a lot of your social battery and made it difficult to keep up. But… in all honesty, you needed this. Adam made you feel an assortment of good things, you didn’t really want to leave yet.

You placed one of the glasses down on the end table for Adam, and then you started to gulp the water from your own glass. The coolness trickled down your throat and helped you to regain yourself. You set the glass down hard on the table, half of the water gone from your glass already.

Adam raised his eyebrows, seemingly impressed. “Better?” He inquired.

“Yeah…” you admitted self-consciously.

“I believe it,” Adam murmured in awe, and then he stood up. He cupped your cheeks suddenly with both hands, making you squirm. He pressed his body against yours. “Remember when I said you were pretty?” He lowered his head to yours slowly.

You tilted your head to the side. “Y-Yeah?” Your voice wavered a little. The close proximity made your heart stutter. Your breath sounded too loud in your head.

“Well, I think I was wrong…” He said casually. His lips were almost touching yours now. “You’re gorgeous.”

You squealed audibly. It was an accident, but Adam’s words made you woozy. So much so in fact that you couldn’t hide it. “Oh wow…” You breathed out. “W-What do I even say t-to that?”

“You don’t have to say anything, darling.” His hands trailed down your neck so lightly it left tingles on your skin. They went past your collarbones, past your chest and over your diaphragm. You were forced to lean into him because your back and knees felt weak. He had never done anything like THIS before. What was he doing? Where was this leading to? Somehow you wanted more though. Lucky for you, this wasn’t about to be ending soon.

“Woah? You like that?” He whispered into your ear.

You shivered against him. “Oh yeah.”

“Nice.” Adam began to bring his hands back up, only this time he went under your shirt. His hands skimmed your stomach and some of your more sensitive parts as well. You buried your face into his shoulder, letting out a couple of moans. His shirt was soft and silky on your face.

“Which do you prefer?” He asked, sliding his hands back out. Your skin felt cold and empty where he had been touching you. You pulled back, trying to bring yourself back to the present. “Hands under or over?” Adam lifted your chin up with his pointer finger. You gazed at him like a lost puppy.

At your silence, Adam dropped his head down and pressed his lips to yours. You were stunned. It was the most beautiful thing you’d ever experienced in your entire life. It was like flying. It felt like wind in your mind, easing you, gratifying you, wooing you.

And damn, did Adam Faulkner know what he was doing. It was impossible something so good could exist. The way he bit your lip. The way he let his mouth wander. The way he kept pushing harder on your lips. It was dizzying.

Adam sank down on the couch again, keeping his mouth on yours. He pulled you after him. You straddled him and wrapped your arms around his neck. Adam let his hands explore the lower half of your body. You shuttered at the teasing sensations.

You were a mess by the time Adam withdrew. You gasped into his mouth desperately, your mind racing. You could hardly think! All you were aware of were the trembling in your lips and the stress building in your body.

Holy shit! Call that sexual tension!

You leaned against Adam, trying to get in some relaxation because you were worn out. It amazed you how something so idle could make you feel so out of energy. But damn it was definitely worth it. Adam pinned you against his chest, murmuring quietly in your ear. “That was fun… Maybe we should do it more?”

You hadn’t realized till now just how much you TRULY liked this man. You nodded your head slowly, breathing in Adam’s scent. “Perhaps,” you whispered.

“ ‘Perhaps’? Why be so vague? Do you or don’t you want me?”

“I do!” You exclaimed. “I never knew I could feel so many things for one person.”

“Welcome to the club,” Adam replied heartwarmingly.

You looked up at him once you got your strength again. His brown eyes were so perfect. It was like they glowed in the dimness. They shone with fondness as he gazed down at you. Something inside your heart felt whole. You didn’t quite know how to explain it… Or did you?

That feeling of wholeness, it was like you had been without it for a long time. Like a dusty glass being taken down from the shelf after a long hibernation. For once, it was being filled again with something warm and enjoyable… something called LOVE…

You stared into each other’s eyes for a few minutes, until you remembered your dog/cat at home. Immediately you scanned the room for some kind of clock. There, above the menu! Eight fifteen P.M.

You fumbled in your pockets for your phone, when Adam put his hands on yours. “Are you okay?”

You kept your gaze on your lap, for the fear of being captivated by him once again. “Oh, yes. I’m alright. I just remembered that I have to feed my pet! Sometimes they like to go outside, but if they do, then I always go with them.”

“We stayed longer, didn’t we?” Adam asked you.

“Y-Yeah…” You murmured. “Quite. But I enjoyed it!”

So did I.”

“Want to meet up again next week?”

“Why even ask at this point?” Adam wondered casually. “We both know we’re going to be coming back here next week.”

You blushed. “Yeah. You’re right…”

Adam clasped your hands in his. His palms were soft and smooth. He leaned his head in towards yours again. In a lustful bliss, Adam began kissing you again. His hands skimmed up your body.

We’re kissing again! The thought ran through your mind so fast you could barely comprehend it. Oh my god, what do I do? I can’t get caught up but… It’s so good!

Adam pulled away slightly so you could get some air. Only one gasp, then his lips were at it again. Time was ticking away, and you could practically hear it.

Eight eighteen.

More kissing and grabbing.

Eight nineteen.

Air.

Eight twenty.

Kissing.

Eight twenty one.

Hands in hair.

Eight twenty two.

Eight twenty three.

Eight twenty four.

Eight twenty five.

And then… finally, it was eight thirty.

After another, impassioned kissing session, you broke away at last. Your head was foggy and hot. You stumbled back. Swallowing nervously, you said, “I’d say that’s a goodbye kiss, for sure.”

“It doesn’t have to be…” Adam murmured in your ear.

You shivered. “What do you have in mind?”

“We know each other well enough. Would you let me stay the night?”

You stared up at him in awe. “S-Stay with me?”

“Why not? You said you have to take care of your pets. So let’s go.”

You led Adam out of the cafe, suddenly realizing the… problem you had going on ‘downstairs’

Oh, shit… you thought to yourself miserably. What am I going to do about THAT!? Fuck, I don’t even have a place for Adam-

A sense of awareness came over you, and you looked back at Adam, as you sat down in the car. Stanheight was sitting next to you in the passenger’s seat. He had invited himself over not to stay the night… He wanted to FUCK you. Why the hell hadn’t you seen it from the beginning? Were you really that deceived?

You grit your teeth. How were you supposed to drive with THAT idea clouding your mind? Grunting, you turned the ignition and started on your way home. You were excited to show Adam your place, if you were being entirely honest. And maybe your ‘places’, too... if you know what I mean?

You wondered what Adam would do first when you got to your apartment. Would he let you feed the dog/cat first or was he going to bang you first? Which one was more important? Would he take you to the bedroom, or was the couch good enough? The more you thought about it, the more excited you became, and it took all your strength to NOT think about it at all. But you were a mess by then and you could barely wait any longer. Well, lucky for you, home wasn’t very far away.

And neither were tonight’s plans.

Memory - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N this was inspired by Taylor Swift's song 'Red'

.

You picked up the newspaper. It was wrinkled and cold, and aged to fit the part. You still couldn’t believe it had been so long since the accident. You still felt empty sometimes, but now that it was over, it was a little bit more manageable. Jigsaw had been arrested this time, finally. At least, that’s what it said three years ago, perhaps it wasn’t still true.

As you looked at the picture on the front page, you felt cold chills surge up inside you. It was a picture of Adam Faulkner Stanheight, in one of his more casual looks. He was smiling awkwardly, looking at the camera reluctantly, almost like he didn’t want his picture taken. You had taken it, and you remembered that moment vividly.

You had accompanied him to one of his client’s places. You had attended just for fun, despite having no real purpose being there. Adam was glad you were there, though. You both had a bunch of fun, messing around with the camera, laughing and taking selfies. Of course, this was after Adam’s photoshoot of his client. You had felt so happy, so refreshed then.

Adam had dared you to take a good picture of him. He had given you the camera, but he didn’t believe you could do it. You waited for a long time, never once keeping your eyes off your boyfriend, just waiting for the right time. You made a couple of jokes, and off-handed comments, trying to distract Adam from you.

“You can’t get me by surprise,” Adam said. “I’m too wary…”

“I don’t know about that,” you replied.

Adam raised an eyebrow at you. But little did he know, you had already outsmarted him. “Are you gonna have a smoke?”

“What?” He wondered. “I didn’t bring any cigarettes with me-”

“Are you sure about that? You know I always keep a few on me… Just for YOU.” You reached into your back pocket and held out a cigarette.

Adam eyed it distrustfully and then said, “Why… Why do you WANT me to take it? This is unlike you…”

“Well… Can you say no to this?”

Adam took it from you. “Not if you push it into my face… It’s a good thing I always keep a lighter on me for scenarios like these.”

You smirked. “Of course I do. Go on. I’ve got all the time in the world.”

Adam tilted his head at you. “What the hell? Why are you so eager for me to start smoking? This isn’t something normal.”

“No,” you assured him. “You just… look really hot when you're smoking…”

Adam laughed, and you raised the camera.

Snap!

One single picture of your beautiful boyfriend. He looked embarrassed to realize your words. “Oh, you don’t mean that…”

“Yes, I do,” you whispered. “I got a picture of you. It looks really good, baby.”

Adam grimaced, and nearly dropped his lighter. “You can’t be serious! There’s no way you got a photo. I look disgusting!”

You shook your head. “No, you don’t.”

“I love you,” you whispered the next part in real life, as you came out of your flashback.

“ ‘I love you, too,’ he said.”

The newspaper in your hands was claiming the tragic death of your beloved boyfriend, giving the grim details of Jigsaw’s game.

That moment in the client’s backyard came flooding you again. You could hear Adam’s voice in your ears loudly. “I love you, too.”

Fuck…

His hands traveled down your jaw, his eyes shining. He had pinned you to the grass after you took the picture. “Who gives a damn about the cigarette at this point? You’re looking so fuckable right now.”

You squeaked, and laughed. “No. You’re just saying that.”

“Show me the picture.”

“Okay.” You fumbled with the camera before flipping through its contents and selecting the last one. You held it up for Adam to see.

He looked at it halfheartedly. “Well, I guess I don’t look like a mess in that one. But… I still look stupid.”

You cupped his cheek. “What? No, you don’t! Of course you don’t! Come on, when will you see yourself the way I see you? You’re beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful!”

“ ‘Hardly’.” Your voice echoed around the apartment, and you sighed sadly.

Where are you, Adam? I miss you. It’s getting lonely in here.

You put the newspaper on the counter again, Adam’s secondhand smoke filling your nose and his touch corrupting your nerves. You were pulled back into the memory.

“Adam,” you grumbled unhappily, feeling your boyfriend’s breath on your neck. “Stop being so negative about yourself. You’re better than that!”

“Fine, for now.” Adam shrugged, and then started kissing you roughly on your skin.

You groaned and leaned your head back. His lips traveled down to your collar bones, and you let him have his way with you. It felt so good. “Oh, baby…”

“Hm? Like that? Good thing we’re here all by ourselves…” He glanced over at his client, who gagged, and pointed to the driveway. He was trying to indicate that, if they were gonna fuck, they were gonna have to leave. “Alright. Maybe not,” Adam added and sat up.

Your cheeks were hot and flushed, you could barely breathe. “O-Okay… Yeah, let’s leave… I… Want you now…”

Adam gathered himself up. “Sure thing, princess/prince.”

You cringed. “Don’t call me that.”

Adam smirked. “My princess/prince.”

You dashed across the yard. “Catch me!”

The flashback ended suddenly as you felt strong arms wrap around you. That familiar tangy scent wreathed around you enticingly. You melted into the embrace. “ ‘Easy. I’m faster than you anyway’...”

That was the response he gave you that day.

“Adam!” You flung yourself around and hugged him tightly.

Your boyfriend, fiance now, was smiling down at you smugly. “What? Thinking about me?”

You blushed and looked down. “Uh… Y-Yeah… I was…”

Faulkner noticed the newspaper on the counter, and he took it in his fingers gently. “What’s this doing still around?” He threw it in the basin. “You know Jigsaw’s in jail for what he did.”

You couldn’t meet your lover’s eyes. Self consciously, you mumbled, “I… know… but you weren’t here, and this is such a good picture of you. That’s why I gave it to the press all those years ago.”

Adam went rummaging through the pile of magazines. “Well, why don’t you use THIS one?” He threw you another newspaper.

The front page was splashed with the same picture of him, and the headline read:

‘Missing Adam Stanheight Still Alive?’

You gravely admitted, “That one was closer.” You looked into the basin.

“ ‘Stanheight says ‘the police were outside already when my cellmate got out. He was able to alert them to my presence.’ It was a miracle he got out, but what has he been doing this whole time’?” Adam was reading a clip from the newspaper.

“I can’t believe the police tracked your phones through all that. I mean, that one brilliant officer who thought to look BEHIND Jigsaw’s hideout, must be rich.”

“I’m glad they did, though. I woulda been dead meat.”

"And afterwards you just stayed with me to recover."

"I didn't forget."

You pulled Adam down. “I’m so sorry. Please cuddle me.”

Adam straddled you. “Anything for my sweet princess/prince.”

You wriggled. “Why do you still call me that?”

“Because that’s what you are. My royal highness.”

“Oh, stop exaggerating!”

“Hey, I learned to love myself, now it's your turn!”

You beamed at him. “Okay. I am your highness...” The words felt strange to say, and you shuddered at them.

“Better.”

"But that means you're my Survivor," you said cheesily.

"Fine by me." Adam started kissing you on the lips, and you moaned into him.

“I love you,” you whispered.

Adam’s eyes flicked down your body. “Oooh, I love my baby more than they can imagine.”

Chills ran up your spine, and you put your head on his chest. Adam hugged you close, murmuring sweet nothings into your ear, and making you feel good. This was what you needed. Oh yes, this was what you DEFINITELY needed.

Finally… You’re home…

Car Ride - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N This is inspired by Chasing colors, by Marshmello!

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You felt refreshed. The sunlight warmed your skin, the wind blew in your hair, and the sound of the squeaky tires made you excited. You gripped the steering wheel tightly in your clasp, as the music blasted your ears. The roof was rolled all the way down so that you were in direct contact with the outside atmosphere. Adam Faulkner was beside you, but you were so focused on the road that he kept flickering in and out of your vision. You could smell the cigarette smoke coming from the passenger’s side, where Adam was located.

Bright, rainbow, lights flashed wildly in your eyes. You found it hard to keep your eyes on the road, but you could see well enough to have an idea of where everything was situated. You were going down fast. Fast, fast, fast. So very fast. You loved it.

“Y/N,” Adam mumbled around his cigarette. “Don’t you think you should slow down a little bit?”

You squinted your eyes, trying to see around the rainbow streaks of light. You grunted. “No way.”

Adam blew out on his cigarette, and then leaned over to you. He kissed your cheek gently, and started combing his fingers through your hair. You could feel his body heat creeping up your skin.

“A-Ahh,” you stammered.

Faulkner nuzzled your cheek, and whispered “I miss you over here. When will we be home?”

“Um… I don’t know…” You grumbled. “Sorry. I’m not going home yet.”

Adam kissed you again, and then sat back in his seat. He continued to smoke. You rounded a corner aggressively, your tires skidding all along the black pavement, screaming at you all the while. You never let up from the gas. Not once. You took delight in watching the trees and fields and other cars pass by so quickly you couldn’t even tell what they were. They all looked like colorful blurs at the side of your vision. You liked it for some reason; you were pretty sure it was because it took your mind off reality.

There was a break in the music, putting the car in total silence. Adam took this moment to speak. He said, “I just don’t want you getting hurt, Y/N. Will you please slow down? It’s really not your time to join…” he looked up at the sky.

You let out a condescending scoff. Adam could be so overprotective of you. “Baby, I’m not gonna get hurt. This is all just good fun. You worry too much, won’t you relax? Just for right now.”

“I mean… your life matters, don’t you know that? Please, stop the car.”

Your mind went blank suddenly. You couldn’t even believe the words you were hearing. “I’m not here to kms!” You shouted at him. “I’m here because I need to relax. Christ, Adam, take a chill pill.”

“I… didn’t think that…” Adam stammered slowly. “I was just worried that you might get in an accident.”

“Oh my god, baby, why are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” Adam inhaled once again on his cigarette.

“Referring to me in singular, like you’re not here with me.”

“Oh yeah…” Adam mumbled. “I guess I wasn’t really thinking straight.”

“What does that mean?” You asked him incredulously.

“I’m just not as worried about myself as I am about you. I love you. I don’t want you to leave this world.”

“Oh, so it’s okay for you to go?”

“Well… no, that’s… I didn’t mean it like that. Of course I value my life, but… you come first.”

You shivered, getting a weird sense of dejavu. You looked at him in suspicion, but Adam only pointed out the windshield. “Look at the road!” He exclaimed.

You brought your eyes back to where they should have been. Nothing was out of sorts, but Adam was being his usual, anxious self.

“Holy shit, Y/N. You can’t just do that!”

You sighed heavily, and grabbed the steering wheel harder. “Sorry. Sheesh.”

“Are you trying to get yourself… Are you trying to get us killed!?”

He had to correct himself? You asked yourself. What the fuck is going on with you today, baby?

“I always go this fast, what are you talking about?”

“You know the speed limit is thirty five, right? What is this?” He peered over your shoulder to get a glimpse. “Sixty!?”

You rolled your eyes. “What’s the matter, Adam? I don’t understand! You’re being strange.”

Adam was oddly silent. He raised the cigarette to his mouth again, and didn’t answer you. You licked your lips nervously, unsure of the situation. You just wanted everything to be normal. “I know it’s been rough after everything that’s happened. I’m just glad you’re able to go on rides with me. It makes me feel really happy.”

Adam took a deeper breath on his cigarette and let it out slowly. The conversation ended after that, and the music popped back on. You weren’t really in the mood to listen to it anymore, but it gave you something to concentrate on, so you didn’t turn it off.

Your vision blurred, the rainbow lights flashed once more. You kept your eyes open though, for Adam. Adam would be panicking if you closed your eyes. Adam didn’t say anything even though he could see you losing yourself. You were impressed by that.

The drums and guitar bounced around the car and echoed in your ears. Synthesizer calmed your nerves and the beat was steady. You enjoyed everything that you were hearing. You sighed. “Are you okay?” You asked Adam.

His voice was quiet when he spoke, and his words seemed to fade in and out throughout the sentence. “I don’t want you to go through what I went through.”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” You smiled in amusement.

“I don’t want you to end up like me.”

Confusion engulfed you. “What?”

“Oh, look at that,” Adam whispered gravely, looking into the rearview mirror.

You followed his gaze. There were red and blue flashing sirens coming up behind you. You started to slow down. “You think they’re after me?”

“Eh,” Adam shrugged. “More or less, I suppose.”

Adam’s indifference concerned you. “What?”

“Let’s just see what they have to say.”

“I don’t get it…” You told him. “Why doesn’t this concern you?”

“Who said it didn’t?” Adam shot back, and then rolled up his window.

You raised an eyebrow at him. “You want me to suffocate on your secondhand smoke!?”

Adam flickered in front of you. Your eyes stretched wide in alarm and you backed away. Adam moved again, and a shadow flickered across his face. You realized that it was only a shadow. You couldn’t really relax after that though.

Turning, you met the officer who had been tailing you. “Excuse me,” he said.

You bowed your head respectfully. “I’m sorry sir. I was unaware of what street I was on,” you lied. “It won’t happen again.”

“I’m not here for your speeding,” the policeman said casually.

You tilted your head at him. “What?”

“I think a friend is looking for you. Do you recognize this name?” The officer handed you a paper with a name and birthdate on it.

Your hands trembled as you looked at it. That was your best friend’s name! “W-What happened? Are they okay!?” Your heart beat increased drastically. Fear pulsed through your veins. You didn’t want to find out that they were dead!

This can’t be happening! I’ve seen way too much death recently!

Adam scoffed at you suddenly. “You act like you haven’t though,” he commented. “You pretend like everything’s okay, when you know it’s not. Come on baby, put two and two together.”

You looked over at him. He had his eyes closed and his head leaned back on the headrest. His cigarette was held perfectly in the corner of his mouth, and his hands were folded together on his stomach. He looked perfectly relaxed. Your mouth flapped open and closed uselessly.

Was he reading my mind?

“Your friend is fine,” the officer said calmly, interrupting your train of thought.

“Oh, well that’s good-”

“L/N,” the man said straightforwardly. “I just need you to step out of the car. You’re not allowed to be driving. And not to mention, you’re not supposed to be unsupervised.”

“ ‘Unsupervised’?” you looked to your right. Adam was still sleeping next to you. You poked him, and he looked at you darkly. “I’m not.”

“ ‘You're not’?” The officer asked you in contempt. His eyes flashed around the car quickly, and then he leaned down in front of you. “Well, where’s the other person?” His voice dripped with superiority.

Your mind was running at one hundred miles per hour. You were trying to wrap your mind around this concept. You gazed at Adam again. Adam had his arms over his chest now, a smug look on his face. “Tell him… Go on, now. Tell him who you’re with.”

Confused, you said softly, “Adam… I don’t understand… Please help me understand.”

“Adam?” The officer asked in disbelief. “L/N, I’m sorry but… your boyfriend died in Jigsaw’s game three months ago.”

Your flushed face turned to him in anguish. “What!? No, you’re insane, you must be! Adam’s been here the whole time, I’ve been riding with him the whole time, you can’t be serious!”

The policeman simply wrote something down in his notepad. Nonchalantly, he inquired, “Your friend wants to know if you’ve taken your medicine today.”

“My medicine? What medicine, I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“This?” The man held up a red bottle. Something in your mind snapped. You recognized it from somewhere.

“That… is mine…” You clumsily admitted. “I don’t know why I need it.” You looked at Adam for help.

Adam blew smoke into your face, you coughed and glared at him. “I knew it was a bad idea to be speeding,” he informed you offhandedly.

“Adam, stop!” You wailed, and grabbed his shoulders. You shook him. “Please help me! Please, I don’t understand what’s happening! I miss you, that’s all! I just want to know what’s going on!”

Adam took his cigarette and put it in your hand. “Take the medicine. Go back to your friend, and remain there.”

“But I don’t want to leave you!” You cried. You buried your face into his shoulder. Adam held you close. “That’s why I stopped taking the medicine!” You gasped once the words left your mouth. “That’s why… I drove down here. I was going to your apartment.”

“Not a good idea,” the policeman cut in.

“ ‘Someone already moved in there’,” Adam said knowingly.

“Someone already moved in there,” the policeman said right after. His voice was serious.

You shuddered. “But I want to stay with you. You seem real. You give me everything I need.”

“Well, maybe that’s because it’s not quite all your imagination…” Adam breathed.

“So you are real?”

Adam frowned. “I shouldn’t be,” he said at last.

“So you are!?”

“Take your pills,” Adam advised.

“No, I don’t get what you mean.”

“You will,” Adam promised, then leaned back into the seat. He didn’t take his cigarette from you.

Cautiously, you turned back to the man, who was waiting awkwardly for your psychotic break to be over. “I’ll take them,” you said uneasily. “I’ll take them for Adam. He wants me to.”

The officer gave you a cup of water, and a pill from inside the bottle. You swallowed it easily. It was way more easy than you were expecting, almost like you’d done this many times before.

“L/N, can you please get out of the car? I need to take you home.”

You clambered out of the car reluctantly, Adam was still sleeping inside. “What about…?”

The condescending officer looked at you empathetically. His demeanor changed to something more light. “Don’t worry. Adam will be okay. You know he’s safe where he is, right?”

You stared at the car miserably. “No,” you said honestly.

The officer gently pulled you into the police car and started to take you home. “What’s in your hand, sweetie? I’m sorry, I call everyone ‘sweetie’ regardless of their gender.”

You felt safer now. Your mind was starting to relax. You opened your hand slowly, and looked into it. Adam’s cigarette was still resting there, burnt up and put out. You were in no mental state to understand how Adam’s cigarette was in your physical hand while he himself was not here at all. You rolled it back and forth between your palms during the whole ride.

Emptiness swam inside your stomach, and filled up your lungs. You couldn’t really breathe around the tightness. Finally the medicine started acting up. You felt yourself resurfacing, felt yourself regaining your thoughts.

You stumbled into your best friend’s arms, and let them hold you. You were getting an earful from them but you couldn’t hear the words. Behind your friend’s back, you unfolded your palms again. Not even registering your friend’s embrace, you only focused on your belongings.

You could almost feel Adam in your hand at this moment. Just having the cigarette in your fingers was mesmerizing. If you couldn’t be with Adam again, then you refused to let this thing go. Ever. That was just how your life was gonna be. There was nothing anyone could do about it. You closed your fingers around it protectively, secretly. No one would ever find THIS.

Coworker Trouble - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N this one is different. I made an OC, (original character) who is the main protagonist. This is another song inspired story - Tear Drops on My Guitar, a song by Taylor Swift.

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Ash combed his hair lamely. He was sitting at the cafeteria. His job was low-paying, but at least it got his groceries. He’d had eyes for someone for a long time, but he’d been way too nervous to start any conversations with them. He straightened out his dress, and shuffled his high heels. How did he go about this? Would ‘this someone’ enjoy the fact that he wore makeup?

Ash clasped and unclasped her hands, trying to understand her situation. Adam Stanheight was a coworker of hers, but… he didn’t feel the same way about her. She didn’t know how to take that. Adam was… the PERFECT guy. So… why did he only see her as a friend? She felt miserable.

“Ash!” Adam called suddenly.

Ash looked back at Adam, and his heart skipped a beat. “Oh…” He said. “Hi, Adam…”.

“How’s lunch?”

“Good. How’s you-’re lunch?” Ash asked dumbly.

“I’m going to see Y/N for lunch!” Adam announced gladly. His eyes were shining and his smile was bright. “Do you want to come?”

Ash shook her head, feeling sad. “I-I’m sorry. I should go back to work.”

“What? Come on.”

Ash had to look away. It hurt too much to remember that Adam spent more time with Y/N than he did with her. All she wanted was his affection. How could she go about it?

“Y/N…” Adam whispered, and then sighed dreamily. “Is the best person I’ve ever had in my life… Ash, do you think we’ll work out?”

Ash smiled. Adam was so cute, and… she wanted the best for him even if it meant giving up her chances with him. “Yes,” she said honestly. “I’ve seen the way Y/N looks at you…”

Adam spun around on his feet. “Oh, thank you!” Then Ash saw you pass down the hall. He held his breath, not wanting Adam to leave so soon. He liked being this close to Adam. But, unfortunately, Adam had seen you too, and went darting out of the room. He wrapped an arm around your waist, and whispered in your ear. You laughed, and pushed him away, cheeks bright red.

Adam looked back at Ash, questioning him if he really didn’t want to join them. Ash backed away slowly. That look in Adam’s eyes… He heaved a sigh. Adam was handsome. “Okay, fine. That’s on you,” Adam called to Ash, who sunk deeper in his chair.

Adam nuzzled your cheek. You giggled, and combed your fingers through Adam’s hair. “Lunch at the usual place?” He asked.

You grinned. “Of course!”

Adam cupped your cheek, and leaned in close to your face. “Just the two of us?”

You nodded. “Like always…”

“Just as it should be…”

You sighed desperately. “You’re so cool…” you told Adam vaguely.

“Ironic, since it’s like one hundred degrees in here,” Adam replied wittily.

You blushed, and mustered, “Oh… But I mean it, though. You’re just really pretty…”

Adam leaned back, his arms crossed over his chest. “Go on…”

You twiddled your thumbs nervously. “Well… You’re really attractive… you know…”

Faulkner hummed out contentedly, and he blinked at you. “What else?”

You laughed. “You silly goose! All you want are my compliments.”

Adam shrugged. “But did you lie?”

“N-No…” You admitted.

Adam chuckled. “Alright. Well, YOU’RE gorgeous…”

During this encounter, Ash had been watching from the sidelines. Jealousy spiked inside of him, and he went back to his office to continue his work.

Ash thought helplessly, I’ll bet she’s beautiful, that girl he talks about. And she’s got everything that I’ve got to live without.

It was a long workday. Ash was pretty sure lines and words were going to be engraved into her eyes for the rest of her entire lifetime. Her mind was reeling from all the work. Her feet were sore from being pressed into the ground for so long and her hands cramped from typing.

Throughout the day, she had been up to grab some water, and attend a few business meetings, but otherwise her butt hadn’t left the chair cushion for about six hours. She was starving. She hadn’t gotten enough to eat at lunch because the events between Adam and Y/N had been quite distracting.

Ash folded her papers and tossed them on the keyboard. This shit was tiring. Fortunately, now was closing time, and she could go home. She arranged her office and then packed her things. She was ready to go!

As Ash stepped out of his office though, he was greeted by another coworker, who informed him of a drinking party happening at their place. Ash declined, feeling tired. He kept walking down the hall.

Adam Stanheight came up behind him. “Hey, Ash! You worked overtime as well?”

Ash smiled. “Oh yeah. Today I had to finish some paperwork.”

Adam inhaled deeply. “I’m telling you Ash, I’ve found The One!”

Ash bit his lower lip. “I don’t want to talk about it this time, Adam. I’m so tired. I should probably take a cab home, honestly.” It was a half truth. Ash didn’t want to lie outright but he needed to get out of here asap. This atmosphere was making him sick.

“Oh, just wait a moment! I wanted to tell you that we almost kissed! It was so excruciating. You know? I just feel… uh… I don’t know. It was painful because we were so close but then… I’m kinda glad we didn’t.”

Ash laughed. She was horrified at herself for doing that but she couldn’t contain her emotions. This situation was a little bit silly, how she couldn’t see anyone else when Adam was with her.

Adam stared at her. “What?”

Ash wanted to hit herself on the head with a fifteen pound, hardcover book. This was MORTIFYING. “N-no,” she stammered. “I think it’s lovely?”

“It was.”

“Adam!” Y/N called from up ahead. The two of them hurried to catch up. “Are we pooling tomorrow as well?”

Adam nodded. “Yep! If that’s alright with you…” he leaned in so that your noses were touching. Ash tried not to pull you away from each other but it was harder than expected.

“You’re really pretty in the streetlight…” Adam whispered in your ear.

You blushed and pulled him closer. “Oooh. You like this?” You stroked a hand down your body.

Adam scoffed. “Who said that?”

You giggled and simply said back, “I like YOU.”

Adam’s mouth fell open. “I… wasn’t expecting you to say that…”

“Well then,” you replied. “You are promptly an idiot.” You were joking, of course.

Adam laughed. “Maybe if we try kissing this time, we won’t be interrupted?” He asked.

Ash cleared his throat uncomfortably. “You do realize that… there’s a third wheeler here?”

You and Adam glance at Ash. “Oh…” You made a pouty face. “Someone squeamish?”

“No,” Ash snapped.

I just don’t want to see you kissing HIM…

“Okay Adam, let me get the car,” you said, and finally you walked away. Ash scanned the parking lot once more. His car was somewhere near the back… was that it?! No, it was a jeep… fuck!

“I’m so in love…” Adam murmured. “I think I’ve finally got it right, this time.”

Ash scowled at the ground. I wonder if he knows he’s all I think about at night. Woah, that sounds really fucking creepy!

“I’m happy for you…” Ash choked out.

Can he tell that I can’t breathe? Now that he thought about it, his lungs felt tight and dry. He wanted to scream but there wasn’t enough air for it. It was a strange experience.

“So…” Adam asked. “What do you think about my chances with Y/N now?”

Ash sighed. “I think they’re better than mine,” he grunted, not even trying to cover up the mistake, or hide his disappointment.

You came around the corner, head out the window, and a stupid grin on your face. “Adam!” You yelled. “We going, or what?”

Adam shook himself from his stupor, and answered, “Definitely! I was just asking Ash about the brilliant weather.” He laughed.

Yeah… cover it up. You want Y/N more than me, Ash thought, deterred.

Adam climbed into the car, happily as ever, and pecked you on the cheek. You squealed and rubbed your cheek.

Ash stalked past you and headed for his car, which he had found at that exact moment. It was at the very back, towards the right. He slunk away, his heart heavy.

Poor Ash’s mind was a mess. She felt heartbroken and elated. She was glad to see Adam with someone that made him happy, but she was destroyed that SHE would never get the man she wanted. She was jealous.

She turned on the radio so it blasted her ears, and she drove straight past you. From the corner of her eye, she caught you kissing him. It angered Ash but she kept driving. Her lover was waiting for her somewhere, just not here.

As he drove, Ash couldn’t get the image of you and Adam kissing out his head. He saw it in every light, in every sign. It drove him mad.

At this point Ash didn’t even know why he still hung on. It was like a song he kept singing in the car. He kept wishing on a wishing star, but the reason wasn’t clear. Maybe he wanted Adam that badly? But no, Y/N was the lucky one for him. Why was life so cruel? How could he change it?

Ash glanced at the photograph sitting on the passenger seat. She flipped it over so that the back was facing upward. “Maybe I can get some sleep tonight?” She wondered out loud.

Ash’s stomach was churning with fire. Hot streaks flashed through him every once in a while. It made the car ride home very difficult. He struggled not to give into his anxiety. But he knew he wouldn’t be better till he got home. Was that going to be soon? He hoped so. All he wanted to do was crash on the bed and never wake up. He didn’t want to perish, but he just didn’t want to be conscious for a very long time. His heart felt weak.

He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar, he realized suddenly. That’s why I cry every time. Oh wow.

This realization made Ash feel utterly miserable. She got out of her car, and stumbled inside. Without even turning the light on, she drifted into the bedroom. Her shoes were still on, her hair was still up, and her face wasn’t even dry yet from crying. She was asleep faster than she’d ever been in her entire life, dreading the events that tomorrow brought. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad? Maybe it wouldn’t be what she expected? Maybe things would turn around in the end? Or perhaps she could still be friends with Adam? Whatever the outcome was, she couldn’t be too sure it was going to be all that bad. After all, there didn’t always need to be two people in a singular relationship…

Fever Dream - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N This one's inspired by Taylor Swift's song, Marjorie.

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You coughed miserably into your pillow. The window was open and AC was on. Vision blurring, and head pounding, you tossed and turned under the covers of your king sized bed. You had never felt so sick in your entire life. Someone was moving around in the background, you couldn’t see who it was. The world rotated horrendously. “Bff’s Name,” you choked out.

Someone was kneeling next to you. “What’s the matter, Y/N? I’m right here.”

Confused, you looked around. Whose voice was that? It sounded familiar. “Adam?”

“Y/N…” The voice sounded somber. “A… Um… Adam’s not here.”

You tried to find the source of the voice. “Hmm?” You grumbled. “Bff’s Name? I don’t understand what’s happening. Where am I? I can’t see anything.”

“I know. I’ve been trying to bring the fever down all night.”

You rolled onto your back, and gazed at the ceiling, watching the floor flip over your head for a moment. You grasped the bed sheets as pain engulfed your stomach, and you squeezed your eyes shut. Maybe you’d feel better if you couldn’t see anything?

“Y/N,” the familiar voice spoke out to you again.

You furrowed your eyebrows. Who was that? It wasn’t your friend’s voice, it was too different. The only other person you could think of was your boyfriend…

Deceased boyfriend, you corrected yourself.

You called out anyway, “Baby!?”

“Hi,” Adam’s voice rang in your ears. It was so real, you couldn’t wrap your head around it. You grumbled a series of responses that nobody could understand. “Why are you so cold, Y/N? Pull the blankets up, silly.”

Obediently, you lifted the blankets up further. “Oh, hey. We’re trying to take DOWN this fever,” your friend breathed into your ear.

You fought against them. “No, stop! Just let me stay like this. Adam told me to. I can hear him, can’t you?”

Your friend looked awkwardly around the room, puzzled. “Um… No, I can’t.”

“Friend’s name, I thought that Adam didn’t make it out of SAW?”

Your friend rubbed your head soothingly. “Shh. It’s okay. I know it’s confusing right now, but you’ll get better.”

“I mean… I know he’s not here, but… why do I hear his voice so clearly? Why is it like he’s right here? I’m not mental, am I? I’m not, I swear!”

Your bff kept stroking their fingers through your hair vigorously, trying to get you to go back to sleep. The world flipped over again, and you felt nauseous. Your skin felt like it was burning.

Goddamn it! You kicked the blankets off of your body, and shivered. Figures!

“Hey,” Adam asked you suddenly. “You think they’ve arrested Jigsaw?”

“Huh?” You tried to sit up but your best friend held you down. “I don’t know. Why would I know that, Adam?”

“I dunno.”

“Shit, baby, you have to tell me what’s going on. I thought you were dead. This can’t be real.” Adam didn’t answer that question, much to your disappointment. “Adam?”

“Y/N… Adam didn’t make it. He didn’t make it out. I’m sorry.”

Your best friend’s words didn’t make any kind of sense. Adam OBVIOUSLY wasn’t dead… No, that wasn’t right. He couldn’t be ALIVE, because he’d been gone for one year. Well, obviously, what died didn’t stay dead. He was alive in your head, that was for sure.

“You’re not dead, are you?” You asked halfheartedly.

“Of course I’m not dead!” Your friend snapped. “What are you talking about?”

“I was asking Adam,” you replied plainly.

Your friend raised their eyebrows in surprise. “Oh, well…” They didn’t seem to approve of that statement.

You could hear Adam’s voice so faintly, it was almost like you could touch it. If you stretched your arm out far enough you would find ADAM there. But the cold air on your skin frightened you, and kept you from trying to find him. You were too scared of feeling sick again, too tired to move.

Your friend nodded. “There we go. Go to sleep, Y/N. Everything’s going to be A-okay next time you wake up.”

No, you thought distantly. No, not yet! Adam’s still here, I know it. I have to find him again. Just one more time, please!

“Adam!” You wailed.

Adam’s voice came drifting over to you tenuously. He was singing softly, but you couldn’t hear what it was he was singing. It was probably just random notes and tunes that sounded nice. You relaxed, and smiled. You could get used to this. “It’s like you’re right here,” you mumbled. “But I know better, you can’t be around.”

Adam stopped singing then. “Whatever you say…”

“No, wait! Come back!”

“I’m right here, Y/N. I’ll never leave you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” There was a silence for some time until finally, you asked, “Why didn’t I ask you more questions when you were alive? I remember watching you sign your name. I remember those frozen swims, and long car rides. I should have kept every grocery store receipt, ‘cause every scrap of you would be taken from me.”

“There’s nothing you can do about it now, Y/N,” Adam told you quietly. “Just… don’t forget the life you have. Don’t end up like me.”

You started crying. “I miss you. I don’t want to be separated from you. I wish you were here with me all the time!”

“I know. But I can’t come back.”

“Fuck,” you hummed out frustratedly. “I know better than this! I know that you can’t be real! But… I guess what died didn’t stay dead…”

“Go to sleep, baby. You need to get your strength up so that when you wake up tomorrow you won’t be feeling so shitty. Come on, I want you to feel better.”

“No,” you grumbled.

“Yes.” Adam whispered directly into your ear.

Exhaustion bulldozed into you unexpectedly. You closed your eyes and let your breath even out. “Oh alright. I’ll go to sleep.” You yawned. “I’m so fucking tired anyway.” Your words were starting to slur together. You allowed yourself to drift.

In the background you could hear your bff exclaim, “Good god, finally!”

“I-I love y-you,” you stuttered.

Adam’s voice filled you with content and happiness, as he said, “I love you, too.” It echoed around your head and filled your ears, but somehow - just somehow - it was lulling.

...

In a panic you awoke from your slumber, frantically kicking your blankets and medicine off the bed, screaming and crying all at once. Your head was pounding, your stomach was churning, your throat was sore, and one half of your body felt like it was being cooked alive while the other half felt like it was being frozen miles underwater. Your heart thrashed against your ribcage, like a wild animal trying to break out of it’s tight confines at the zoo.

Your friend was lying next to you on the bed. They felt you writhing and woke up. “Y/N, Y/N! It’s okay! Woah, calm down! What’s wrong?” They launched themselves on top of you just to get a hold of your moving body.

“Something’s not right!” You shouted. “Something’s not right at all! Where’s Adam? Wasn’t he… Wasn’t… he?” Finally back to your senses, you realized your mistake. “Oh… Oh no… I’m hungry, Bff’s Name.”

Your best friend got out of the bed and went to grab a snack from the kitchen. The medicine and blankets still on the floor tripped them and they went sprawling on the ground. “Ugh!” They plopped the blankets back onto the bed in annoyance. “Get them all fixed how you like. I’ll be right back.”

You started to spread the blankets out on the bed. The moonlight shining in from the window caught your attention and you stared at the white moon, a feeling of realism hovering over you.

None of that had been real. None. Not a single thing. You were flabbergasted. Adam had sounded so close to you, but… now it was over. While you still didn’t feel good, you weren’t feeling miserable anymore. You just felt sick. ‘Sick’ was something you could deal with. Whatever had happened earlier that night was something you never wanted to reenact. You started fixing the blankets again.

Your friend walked in and gave you something to munch on. You were grateful for them. You ate your snack in silence as your friend crawled over you and tried to go back to sleep.

“I feel better now,” you said aloud.

“That’s great! I’m so sorry about earlier, that was rough.”

“It’s okay. Thank you so much for sticking with me.”

“Of course!” Your best friend sounded surprised.

You laid back down, your thoughts still preoccupied by Adam. You couldn’t go to sleep after this, but that was alright, it was lovely outside. You stayed and watched the moon fall behind the horizon and the sun rise up after it. It was a peaceful state of affairs, but… in all honesty, you couldn’t wait for the moment when sleep took over once again, and brought you out of this cramped hell.