All's Not Forsaken - Adam Stanheight / Reader

All's Not Forsaken - Adam Stanheight / Reader

TW: Negative Self-Esteem/Depression.

A/N - Inspired by Disturbed's song, The Light. I hope you enjoy!

TW: Negative Self-Esteem/Depression.

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It was Wednesday, three pm. Work had just finished for you, and as always, you’d gone to grab something to drink with your friends; Adam Faulkner Stanheight was included, of course. You were just leaving, your right hand getting cold from holding the fourth drink, it was your fiancé’s. 

You had been quiet for most of the trip from work to here. You could sense Adam’s depression as soon as you’d seen him, but you hadn’t had the heart to bring it up with him in front of your friends. You tried to tell yourself that it was just your anxiety, but you knew better than that. 

Adam greeted you with a smile though. It wasn’t one of those fake smiles either, it was genuine; one of those ‘I’m so happy to see you’ and ‘I love you so much,’ smiles. He hugged you. 

Adam though had chosen to stay in the car while you went into the shop with your friends. He hadn’t even requested anything, but you had ordered something for him anyway. You didn’t want him to miss out. That would have made you feel really sad! 

The weather had been clear for most of the day, however when work ended for you it started pouring, hail and rain were mixed in. You were unsatisfied to see that it hadn’t changed while you were ordering your drinks. You bobbed your head up and down to the song playing on the radio, as you waited for your friends to finish adjusting their coffees. You had gone through the alphabet twice when they arrived. 

Slowly, while laughing and joking, you walked back to Adam, who had his forehead on the top of the steering wheel, so as to not interrupt the silence with loud honking. Your demeanor changed at the sight. Seeing your significant other look so desolate made you unhappy. Your friends had wandered off together to go look in one of the strip malls. 

You pried the door open with a pinky finger, and then set your drink into one of the cup holders. “Hey, Adam,” you whispered. 

Adam Faulkner sat back, wiping at his eyes incessantly, trying to look completely laid back. “You’re back. Where’d your friends go?”

You attempted to ignore the sadness drifting off of Adam. “Over there.” You pointed to a shop across the street, and squinted your eyes to keep the sunlight out of them. From the corner of your vision though, you caught Adam trying not to break down. 

At first you were going to let him solve it, and not bring attention to his feelings. But after five antagonizing minutes, you got reckless. Watching him try to cover up sobs - and failing at it, by the way - was too much to bear. 

“Adam,” you breathed empathetically, and came around to his side. You straddled his lap. “I got you something.” You lifted the drink to Adam’s lips. 

Adam turned his head away. “I’m not thirsty.”

But that didn’t stop you. You turned his head towards you again, and tipped the cup forward. Adam gagged in surprise, but then took the cup from you, downing a quarter of its contents one go. 

When he was able to talk again, he looked at you in bewilderment. “You got my favorite…”

You smiled in amusement. “Of course!”

“Heh… thanks.” Adam looked insecure, as he put the cup into the holder next to yours. 

“Better?” You asked. To your disappointment, Adam shook his head. “No? Is there anything I can do to help?”

Adam just gazed at you heartbrokenly. He looked on the verge of tears. You opened your arms to him. “Come here,” you encouraged. 

Adam laid his head on your shoulder and started crying. He was so distraught it hurt you. You put your chin on top of his head, and breathed in his scent. 

The shoulder of your shirt was getting soaked from Adam’s tears, but you didn’t mind really. All that mattered to you right now was Stanheight. Your fiancé was having a difficult time as of late, due to traumatic past events. You felt really bad for him. 

Wrapping your arms around Adam’s waist, you pulled him close. There was no sound except for Adam’s weak crying. You held him tightly, rocking back and forth like you would a baby. The hollowness in your stomach increased with every breath released from his lungs. If only there was something you could do for him. 

“It’s alright,” you murmured. “I’m here with you.” You lifted your hands up his back comfortingly. “I’ll always be here.” Adam pressed closer, but didn’t say anything. “Please don’t shut me out, Adam. What’s wrong?”

You waited patiently for Adam to gather himself, and then he gazed at you. His eyes were red and squinted, tears were running down his face, and his skin was pale white. “Hi…” You greeted reassuringly once his eyes came up to yours. 

Adam choked lamely, unable to speak. It broke your heart. “I love you,” he mustered, his voice wavering. 

You felt something crack inside of you. Having your groom-to-be look at you like he would never see you again and tell you that he loved you, was so touching, but also horrible. You didn’t like seeing him look at you like that, but his words were so sweet, you almost started crying as well. 

You knew you had to be strong for Adam though. Crying wasn’t going to make him feel better. You frowned sadly at him. “Awe… I love you, too, Adam.”

“Why?” Adam asked unhappily. 

“ ‘Why’?” You repeated, shocked. “Why is space infinite? I don’t know, I just do. You’re my best friend.”

“But how?” Faulkner tilted his head at you, searching your eyes for some kind of answer. “What did I do for you? I’m just the pathetic, mentally-unstable, person in the friend group.”

You blew out a saddened breath, your chest falling in on itself. Ouch. 

“You’re so much more than that, baby,” you insisted. “You work so hard at your job. You’re so passionate about it. And you love taking care of people… Especially me,” you winked at him. 

Adam shook his head and coughed on another sob. “I’m not as good as you think,” he grumbled. 

You leaned your head down to his ear. “How so? Explain to me, how so?” 

Adam grabbed your shoulders tighter. “I’m… I’m…” Your fiancé had to think for a moment. “I’m a mess, Y/N. I’m so stuck in the past. I can’t even walk into the bathroom at night without turning the lights on. I should be better for you.”

“No,” you whispered emphatically, and pulled your head back to look at him, insistence shining in your (e/c) eyes. “You don’t need to be better. I don’t need you to be like that at all! You’ve been through something terribly traumatic. There’s nothing you CAN do. It’s okay to feel weak, Adam. You’re okay. I love you so much.”

“You shouldn’t.”

You sighed. “And cars shouldn’t pollute the atmosphere, but that hasn’t changed. So, why will I?” You responded wittily, then added more seriously.  “I DO love you. HAVE, loved you. WILL love you. You can’t make me change my mind. I know who you are on the inside, and I know that it’s hard for you to accept that you’re worth my time, but that won’t make me love you any less. One day you will get it.”

“I’m sorry…”

“None of this is your fault.”

Adam glared at you. “I NEED to be better. YOU need me to be better. I’m useless with what I’m doing right now. I can’t believe I thought going back to photography was going to be enough.”

You grasped Adam’s cheeks in your hands. “YOU are all I need. That’s it. You. I don’t care about anything else. And don’t you realize what going back to photography has done for you? It’s something, baby; you can’t blame this on that. If it weren’t for the photography, you wouldn’t be HERE. Maybe you don’t know it yet, but it’s doing so much more than you even realize. I can see it. You can’t see it yet, but I can. And I’m so proud of you.”

Adam Stanheight was stunned by your speech. He stared at you in amazement, like you’d just grown wings and learned to fly. A shockwave of emotions came crashing over him. An avalanche of feelings just so supreme to anything else it unleashed another rain storm of tears. Faulkner hugged you, pushing his head into your other shoulder. Pretty soon both your sleeves would be wet. 

You bit your lower lip. “I love you, Adam,” you breathed out desperately. “You’re so good, already. I love you.”

Adam leaned back in the chair and nodded. “I love you, too.”

You smiled contentedly. “Alright. You ready to go home?”

“Yeah,” Adam told you sadly.

You combed your hand through his hair and trailed it down his face. “I’m sorry you’re not feeling good today.”

“Mmmh,” Adam grunted and leaned his cheek into your palm, a miserable expression on his face. 

“Lemme grab my friends, okay?”

Adam glanced at you worriedly. “Alright.”

“I’ll be back.”

Adam nodded, and you stepped out of the car. You turned around speedily, coming face to face with both of your friends. You stumbled back hesitantly, eyes wide. They were watching you awkwardly. “Um… We didn’t want to interrupt,” one of the friends said.

“Oh, you heard that?” You asked.

“Why don’t we just head home?” The other friend suggested. 

“Right…” you remained standing there for a little bit, until one of your friends opened the back car door. They both slid inside nervously, and you entered through the passenger’s side. 

“We’re all ready, I think, Adam,” you informed him. Your fiancé fumbled with the keys numbly, as he started the drive back towards your apartments. 

The radio started playing, making you jump. You let your head fall back against the headrest, you closed your eyes, and rolled the window down slightly. The cool air blew into your face and hair, and did somewhat soothe you. 

“-An unforgivable tragedy. 

The answer isn’t where you think you’d find it.

Prepare yourself for the reckoning, for when your world seems to crumble again.”

Subconsciously, you tapped your foot to the beat, which was heavy and strong. The car jerked wildly to the right, then straightened out.

“Don’t be afraid, don’t turn away.

You’re the one who can redefine it.”

There was some more wobbling of the car. 

“Don’t let hope become a memory.

Let the shadow permeate your mind, and reveal the thoughts that were tucked away, so that the door can be opened again.”

There was a whimper from somewhere next to you, and you were thrown to the left roughly. You didn’t need to open your eyes to know it was a windy road.

“Within your darkest memories, lies the answer if you dare to find it.

Don’t let hope become a memory.

When you think all is forsaken, 

Listen to me now.

All’s not forsaken.

You need never feel broken again.

Sometimes darkness can show you the light.”

You were shoved so far to the right, your head banged the glass window. You opened your eyes then, and looked at the driver. Adam was trying to keep his eyes on the road while miserably trying not to cry. His face was strained with the effort and his hands were planted so tightly on the wheel that they were white. 

“You need strengthening, toughening.

It takes an inner dark to rekindle the fire burning in you.

Ignite the fire within you.”

Adam struggled to get the car back into the lane. Cars were coming at you from the opposite direction. In a panic you slammed your hands on the wheel, wrenching Adam away from it entirely. “Stop!” You yelled. “Brake! Brake!” 

Adam was petrified to the chair. He watched in horror as your friends screamed in the backseat. You jerked the wheel back to the right, just narrowly missing a passing car. Your heart beat heavily in your chest as the car slowly started to comply with your demands. Adam still hadn’t found the mental state to press one the brakes, or at least hit the hazard lights. You were all on your own.

Three more cars streaked past you. You tried not to flinch. “ADAM!” You wailed. “ADAM! Help me!” You could feel the car drift over on to the correct side again. “Brake! Adam!” The car was steadily increasing in speed. You tried to keep your eyes on the road and not on the speedometer. Fifty, fifty one, fifty two - road. Fifty eight, fifty nine, sixty, sixt one - road. 

There was a loud slap from right next to you, and a large gust of wind. Your friend was shrieking profanities at your frightened fiancé. They had slapped him in an attempt to wake him from his stupor. 

Adam flinched, finally tearing his gaze away from the windshield. He hit the brakes with full force. The car skidded, sliding fifty feet in its wake, and screaming all the way down. Faulkner was crying at this point, as would anyone. The song had changed and was playing Can’t Buy Me Love - by the Beatles. You flicked your fingers onto the dashboard, silencing the car stereo once and for all. 

You looked up at Adam, who was bright red, and sobbing quietly to himself. He looked mortified. Gazing back at the two others in the car, you asked, “Everyone alright back there?”

“I think so.”

“Yeah.”

“What about you, Adam?” You turned back to him.

Adam had gone completely white in the face. He was shaking and shuddering. His hands were trembling, and his lips were bleeding from his biting. Your heart shattered, and you leaned over and kissed him. Your mouth was filled with the flavor of iron. “You okay?” You asked him. 

Adam couldn’t talk. He only gaped at you in terror. You hugged him. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Breathe with me.”

“What happened!?” Someone yelled from the back. 

Adam whimpered. He choked and gagged, before he could finally speak. When he did, he could only whisper very quietly. You were the only one that could hear his response. “I was… just…” Deep breath in. “I was just…” Deep breath out. “I was just trying… The song made me think about you…”

Your mouth fell open. “Oh… Come here.”

“I tried not to… but it made me feel like… I was valid again… You know, that feeling when you’re drowning, but instead of dying your breathing… It was like that… And I lost control of the car… I’m such a fucking idiot.”

You hugged Adam. “No. No, you’re not. It’s okay. Accidents happen.”

“I almost got you killed! I almost got us all killed! How did I even pass my driver’s test?”

“Shh. That was a long time ago. You passed because you know what you’re doing.”

“Are you sure about that last part!?” One of your friends chimed in. 

You cast them a glare from over your shoulder. “Let’s just take a break from driving for a little bit,” you said worriedly. 

Adam started to undo his seatbelt immediately. He was shaking incredibly. 

“Why don’t you let me drive?” You asked. 

Adam struggled to crawl over you but you both managed to switch places without getting out of the car. It was a miracle, for sure. You started up the car, your two friends exchanging disbelieving looks with each other, and headed back towards home, Adam a total mess of a breakdown right now.  This time, the radio remained off for the rest of the car ride, and everyone made it home unharmed. The same could not be said for Adam, though. Your poor fiancé ended up blaming himself for the mistake; he would not allow himself into the driver’s seat again for the next twelve months. 

Well, there was a work in progress. But you still loved him, and that would never change. Try telling HIM that, though.  

Motivate Me - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N Inspired by Wildest Dreams - by Taylor Swift (lol like it wasn't obvious.)

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The chit-chatter from the downstairs cafe drifted over to you as you sat on the park bench across from the apartment. It was a chilly day, but the sun was out and the air was fresh. Adam Faulkner was beside you, he seemed alright except for the distant look in his eyes. He was staring grimly at the cafe. You knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t okay. “What’s wrong?” You asked him bluntly, though you didn’t doubt he would try to avoid the question.

He didn’t seem to hear you though. Whatever was on his mind must be really troubling him. He kept looking between the cafe and the apartment, and back again. And finally, Adam leaned into you, muttering, “Let’s get out of this town. Drive out of the city, away from the crowds.”

You looked at him in surprise. “What? Don’t you like it here?”

“Meh. It was better before a murderer started living here. Wha’d’ya say?”

At first you were flabbergasted, but after some more thought you realized it wasn’t too far fetched. Adam had been trying to convince you to leave this area for a long time. He was nervous, you were nervous, but it appeared that Faulkner was really starting to get AGITATED. Obviously, he just did NOT like it here.

Heaven can’t help me now… You contemplated in awe. I’m really destined to run away with Adam Faulkner Stanheight? Sounds like a plan to me…

“Of course,” you replied. “If you’re ready to leave, then we can go. I’m ready when you are, Adam.”

“Great,” Adam whispered. “It’s way too fucking loud here. I’d prefer much more… private property.”

You understood completely. The street below your apartment could be quite loud sometimes. “When do you plan on packing? That’s the biggest problem right now.”

Adam frowned. “I know. But… I plan on doing it this time.” He laughed.

This is gonna take me down. He’s so tall and handsome as hell. He’s so bad but he does it so well…

“Hey, babe,” Adam interrupted your train of thought. “Why do you look so sad?”

“Huh?” You looked up at him. “I’m not sad. I feel fine.”

Adam took a step back and eyed you dubiously. “Do you want to stay?” He asked.

“No! I don’t mind if you want to leave. All I care about is being with you.”

Adam scooped you off the bench and brought you inside. “Well let’s start looking for places! Come on, it’ll be fun, I promise!”

I can see the end as it begins. My one condition is…

Adam dumped you on the bed and lifted up his computer. He started scanning for places. You watched over his shoulder, anxiety consuming you. For some reason you were scared that you were going to lose Adam. You weren’t sure why. Some… instinctive intuition that loomed precariously over you.

“Say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks. Say you’ll see me again, even if it’s just in your wildest dreams. Wildest dreams.” Your voice was like a soft breeze on the beach, not even audible against the outside noises.

“Hmm? What was that?” Adam questioned nicely, gazing at you.

“I like that one. It looks pretty.” You pointed to a random picture on the screen.

“I mean…” Adam squinted his eyes. He didn’t believe what you were telling him. “We don’t need such a large house for only us.”

“Yeah. I know. The gables looked neat.”

Adam stared at you in disbelief. “Yeah, right.” And then he pinned you to the bedpost. “It’s not that. Something’s the matter. Are you sure you don’t want to leave? I don’t mind staying if you really want to.”

“No,” you insisted. “I don’t want to stay here, either.” And it was the truth.

Adam straddled you, and pushed you up against the pillows. “So, what’s wrong?”

Adam’s persistent concern for you was overwhelming and way too persuasive. It made you want to tell him everything. Oh how you loved this man so much! “Are you going to leave me?” The words were out of your mouth before you could even think of a nice way of putting it. Your voice trembled out of fear.

Adam was surprised to hear the question. “Leave?” He lowered his head to yours. “Why on earth would I leave someone so precious? Someone so… perfect?”

“I-I don’t know…” You stammered self-consciously. “J-Just what if you do?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Adam scoffed, his face getting closer and closer to yours. You smiled against his lips, and that made Adam kiss you right then and there. “Shit, baby, you’ve gotta stop thinking I’m going to leave you all the time. It’s depressing, and I don’t like it.”

You let out a low, nervous chuckle. “Sorry. You know, I can’t help it sometimes.”

Adam kissed you again, slowly, making sure to prolong the moment for as long as possible. He didn’t want to rush anything. You moaned excitedly.

Finally, Faulkner backed away. He fumbled with his computer for a little bit, and then snapped the lid shut, and slid it onto the floor. He looked back at you. “Buying houses can wait ‘till tomorrow,” he said casually, and then began to strip you of your clothes.

His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room. And his voice is a familiar sound… Nothing lasts forever…

You helped him to undress himself, which he much appreciated, but once the task was finished he had you in a bundle underneath him, enticing you with words, kissing, and teasing.

But this is getting good now…

“Baby, dearest, I wouldn’t leave you. I wouldn’t even leave you if someone told me it would end humanity. I would love you anyway, and I would continue to love you, because I DO love you. And I ALWAYS will.”

You groaned, and relaxed in Adam’s arms. His words made you feel warm and fuzzy. You couldn’t believe that someone could care about you so much like Adam did. You nuzzled your nose against his shoulder affectionately. Adam combed his fingers through your hair.

He’s so tall, and handsome as hell…

You started to kiss his neck and jaw, and then his mouth. Adam allowed you to treat him but he was clearly the one in control. He lifted your head up in his soft fingers, and started to kiss you harder than last time. He pushed you into the pillows.

He’s so bad but he does it so well.

Adam's lips were aggressive and proficient. You let your head roll back, and Adam held you up, as he traveled down your body. He covered you with kisses.

And when we’ve had our very last kiss, my last request it is:

“Say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks. Say you’ll see me again, even if it’s just in your wildest dreams. Wildest dreams.” You repeated it once more.

This time he could hear you. He pulled away, and gazed at you. “What are you mumbling about, dearest? I’m not gonna forget about you. And please, don’t act like you’d wear make up!”

You giggled for the first time that day. You nodded. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

In the midst of your “midday activity”, you found yourselves all tangled up with each other. It was a beautiful several hours that followed, though unfortunately no house buying was ever committed. By the end of it all, you both were exhausted and breathless. However, you felt around for Adam’s hand. You clasped it desperately in your own.

You whispered into the quiet room, “I love you, Adam. I need you, please understand.”

Adam looked down at the majestic mess below him, the one he had just banged. “I understand just fine.”

You grunted contentedly.

Say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks. Say you’ll see me again, even if it’s just in your wildest dreams. Wildest dreams.

You felt cozy being pressed between your boyfriend and the mattress. You breathed in his scent, and laid your head on the pillow. This moment was perfect. You sighed out happily, and closed your eyes. You could feel Adam kissing down your neck again, and you let him have his way with you. “I’m sorry for doubting you,” you said.

“Shhh,” Adam put a finger over your mouth without even looking up at you. “Just forget about it.”

You rolled beneath him, and spluttered an indistinct message of acknowledgement. Tiredness filled your whole body, and you pushed Adam off of you. “I’m sorry, babe. I can barely stay awake…”

Adam allowed you to fall asleep. He had achieved his goal for the night, and he accompanied you in dreamland after a couple seconds of watching you sleep.

Toxic; I'll Love You Anyway - Adam Stanheight/Reader

A/N Melanie Martinez’s unreleased song - Ring Pop - gave me some serious toxic vibes. And I imagined a new kind of look for Adam. But don’t worry, I’ll stick to the fluff’s from now on…

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You felt the cold seep into your skin. It was quiet tonight, and lonely. You wanted the company again, but you knew that it wasn’t the same - not anymore. You missed the old times, back when everything was right. You had cried yourself to sleep several nights now. In all honesty, this was your life for two years. You didn’t know why you couldn't shake it? Perhaps it was all because you were still haunted by the memories, after all you were still LIVING there.

Your thumb traced over the gift. It was sticky, and smelled like cherries. “I love you,” you whispered, as you stroked the ring pop once more. You didn’t even care that it was making your hands filthy. You would be better once your partner came back - and you knew he would be here very soon. Just a little longer. He had to finish all his work…

But the sight of the other woman’s panites still lingered in your mind, and scarred you. You didn’t want to think about it too much, however it was so daunting. What was with the unfamiliar undergarments? You let out a deep breath into the silent atmosphere, feeling sad. Were you not… good enough for him, anymore?

What was he doing at this moment, you wondered. Was he ACTUALLY doing his work or did just tell you that to make you feel better? You missed Adam Stanheight. Where was he now? You felt like you couldn’t live without him, all you wanted was to feel his embrace again. To kiss him again. Where was he?

Baby, will you be here soon?

“Baddum… a new ring pop…Baddum, a new ring pop…” You murmured to yourself repeatedly. You sank down into the couch when finally a large, white, pool of luminescence portrayed itself on the dark ground, illuminating the room dimly and showcasing the slight silhouette of somebody standing in the doorway. You knew who it was then, and your heart leapt into your throat. It was like finally shooting up after days and days of being away. You ran to him.

Adam greeted you with open arms, as usual. He scooped you up and twirled you once around the room. “Waiting for me in the dark again, I see? What’s with this sudden change of habit?”

You didn’t answer, you just hugged him close. “I love you…”

Adam chuckled. “I love you, too.” It sounded forced, and he pushed past you hastily.

“Adam,” you called. “Why are you home so late? What happened at work? Do I get to know?”

“No.” Adam’s voice echoed strictly through the kitchen and into the living room.

You hung your head disappointedly. “Oh… okay…”

Following him into the kitchen you found him leaning on the counter, attempting to light a cigarette. His hands were trembling too much to keep the lighter down, not to mention his cigarette kept nearly falling from his fingers each time he tried. You stepped up to him so that your bodies were touching, and took both from him. He watched miserably while you steadily held the flame to the cigarette and then let it ignite.

You turned your hand out to him, offering the cigarette back. He lifted your hand up, and closed his lips around the cigarette. Keeping eye contact with you, he took a deep breath in. Immediately upon inhalation Adam’s entire demeanor seemed to change. He seemed slightly more like himself again. You were glad to see him relaxing. “Stressful workday?” You asked him.

“Mmhmm,” Adam mumbled, and nodded.

You stroked a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry, baby. Is there anything I can do?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Adam’s short responses made you feel unappreciated. You were trying your hardest, but why didn’t he want anything to do with you? Why did he always come back to you? “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Are you staying tonight?”

“Yes.”

Your heart jumped, and you looked excitedly into Adam’s eyes. “Really!?”

“Mhm.”

You flung your arms around his shoulders. “Oh yes! Thank you! I love you so much!”

Adam sighed, and nuzzled your forehead. “What are you still doing up? You know it’s late, you should have been asleep a long time ago.”

You shivered at his stern tone. “Y-Yeah… Well, I was waiting for you… Like I always do…”

“Why don’t you get ready for bed? I’ll be right there.”

“What? But you’re staying HERE tonight! We should do something fun! Right? Don’t you wanna have a good time while you’re here with me? Remember when we used to stay up ‘till three watching comedies?”

“Y/N…” Adam whispered gravely. He wasn’t looking at you.

Your heart broke. “You don’t want to do that?”

Adam thought carefully, before saying, “I think we’ve moved on from those days.”

Your heart plummeted to earth, your hopes and dreams falling apart right in front of your eyes. You were devastated, tragic. Frantically, you pressed up against Adam, your hands roaming his body and your noses touching. “But… We can stay up… watch adult cartoons?” Then you asked a little more sexily, “Will you blow up the big balloons/balloon? So big that they all go… pop?”

Adam pulled his head back for another quick drag on his cigarette, but he returned it to its close proximity afterwards. “Y/N…”

“Dress up in each other’s clothes?” you continued desperately. “Dance in the dark to jazz? Have bubblegum at midnight? Get tipsy? Turn off the lights and kiss in the corner? Promise…”

Adam leaned his head forward, and he did kiss you. His lips were so wild it drove you mad. You gasped as he got a little… vulgar… You hadn’t kissed him in so long. It felt like forever ago. It was so good, too. You groaned against his lips.

He pushed away from the counter, and guided you backwards across the kitchen. Adam’s mouth left a slimy trail from your lips to your ear. Your socks slipped on the wood floor as you moved back. A couple of random items littered the floor and your feet skidded into them; the feeling of metal and sharp pins stabbed into the bottom of your right foot. You flinched, but kept moving. You rarely ever got Adam like this anymore, you weren’t going to put a stop to it. You closed your eyes as your back pressed onto the cool, sleek, wall.

It was like water on your lips, engulfing your mouth and taking you under again. Your mind was completely still and silent, peaceful and whole, while your surroundings gave you blackness and quietness. And then, just like a ripple coming through, the water surged upward. The wild waves spilled down your cheeks and neck, and got into your mouth; it was your shore. The feelings made you weak.

Adam pushed you further up the wall, making you squeal audibly. He felt out the layout of his partner’s body. You resurfaced, gasping, panting, in dire need of breath. The repetition played before you like a film that was set to loop; no end seemed to ever come of that ocean. You greeted his waves with your own, each time being more eager than that of the last. You were so deeply in love. Fuck…

Adam had started kissing your chest, and both his hands were pushing your head into the wall, so that it was angled up towards the ceiling. You could feel him making his way further and further down, his lips soft as silks. Down, down, down.

Oh what a wonderful feeling.

And then, as Adam neared your waist, he looked up at you, for the first time taking his mouth off your skin. You shivered at the cold spot on your stomach where his lips had been. You returned his gaze. “What’s the matter?” You wondered.

“I love you.” Adam examined your face for a short moment.

Your heart fluttered dramatically. You loved hearing him say that. “I… I love you, too.”

“But I need you to go upstairs for a little bit, okay? I have… things to take care of…”

“Like what?” You asked seductively. “Anything I can help with?” You put a strong emphasis on ‘I’.

“Y/N,” he said seriously.

“I wish you would trust me to tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m just… cleaning up a little bit…”

He means taking care of the mess he made with the other person downstairs…

“Right,” you said dubiously, and trailed off. There was more you wanted to say but you were… not sure how your questions would affect you later so you just turned around and climbed the stairs.

In the bedroom, you switched the light on, and proceeded to get ready for bed. As you displayed yourself majestically on the bed, hoping to get a good reaction from Adam when he joined you, you thought about some things.

It dampened your mood, unfortunately, but you did wonder about Adam’s loyalty. What the hell was the relationship you had with him? It was like you didn’t exist. You were only there for him when he needed you. You wanted Adam’s love again.

Adam smiled at you when he saw the sight waiting for him. “Well, Y/N. What have we here? Is someone asking for something?”

You would have looked excitedly into his eyes, if you weren’t feeling so somber at the moment. You kept your gaze cast down. “Why do you sleep with other people?” You asked him bluntly, your heart beating loudly, shaking you like an earthquake shakes the earth.

“It’s nothing personal, you know,” he said.

“Then why do you fuck them and not me?” You demanded.

Adam sighed. “You’re my love, Y/N, you know.” His tone was dull and he didn’t meet your gaze. He let his hand fall to yours, and swiftly he removed the pretty, sticky, ring pop from your finger. He discarded it into the wastebasket beside the bed, and then fumbled in the bedside table. He replaced the old one with a new one, and then proceeded to kiss your lips. “You’re always my VIP.”

You looked at the ring pop on your finger again halfheartedly, starting to feel better again. “Really?”

Adam nodded briefly. “Of course.”

“Promise to play house with me forever…”

Adam only watched you disdainfully. “Just relax. You know I have to go back out in the morning.”

Your heart was torn out again. Oh yeah… That’s right… he doesn’t give a fuck about me…

“I love you,” you whispered.

“You, too,” he replied unenthusiastically. “Just remember the ring pop, Y/N. You can never leave me. You won’t.”

You sighed and sank down into the mattress. That ring pop. Oh, that damned, fucking ring pop! How much importance it held. The very meaning of its purpose! It was almost like a marking; an unbreakable bond that was signed off at marriage. It kept you here, trapped you here; a rope of captivity tying you to him for eternity. There was no escaping this… but did you even want to? Something about the way the sharp splinters cut into your skin made you want to tie the knot tighter.

But you knew Adam didn’t love you. Not really at least. Maybe there were times when he returned and he DID remember what he fell in love with, but that part of him was gone. Had been for a long time now. Ever since he married you. Ever since you gave him all your money. But he HAD loved you once upon a time. He HAD cared. He HAD wanted you. And it broke your heart to see it all gone now.

Is this unhealthy? You wondered. Should I leave? Do I want to? You stared up at Adam and the answer came to you instantly. That miserable look in his eyes. He DID need you, just as you needed him. You both were tethered to each other, simply by one existing element: a lonely ring pop that destroyed all of the current reality. You longed for Adam’s love, and somewhere Adam longed for something from you as well, whatever that might be. And together the two combined to make a perfect match out of a million little flaws.

You wondered about Adam, as well. Was he the same person as before? It didn’t really appear like it. Sometimes instead of tying YOU up, the prickly rope tied around ADAM, and he forgot what he was doing. Got confused and disoriented. Got consumed in his lie.

Was he going to come back to you one day? Was he going to come back to his senses? Did he want that? Did YOU want that?

As much as you hated it, you did know the reason for his infidelity. He was lost. He didn't know what he wanted. He got his money, then lost himself. He was looking for something in them. But he held on to you because... well, you were natural.

Normal.

Everything he needed.

That was why he kept coming back. That was why he stayed. And that was why he left.

“What’s the matter?” Adam whispered in your ear softly. “Usually you're squirming by this time.” His voice was low and ominous.

In a rush, the world came crashing down on top of you. White noise filled your ears and darkness consumed your vision. You gasped. Adam was touching on you inappropriately in between the legs, and sending kisses down your jaw. You groaned and rocked your hips into his palm. “A-Adam. Hi. Yes. I-I’m with you.”

“Better be,” Adam mumbled. “Don't leave me like that again.”

You sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Y/N, I love you.” Adam’s voice softened and an ounce of actuality crept into it.

You inhaled sharply. Sometimes you could still hear HIM in his voice. Maybe Adam COULD come back? Maybe, just maybe, he would want to?

“And I love you, Adam…”

Always.

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A/N I’m sorry for the sad story. Also, I love how this one turned out. It bleeds tragedy and heartbreak. It’s everything that I dream about writing one day, (not to mention I actually worked really hard to paint the exact picture I had in my mind.) so I'd love it if people would drop a like to let me know what they thought. Thanks so much for the support. I don’t express it but I do appreciate all of you!

~ TwooneZ

Let Me Touch You - Adam Stanheight / Reader

Adam Faulkner Stanheight was sitting at the far end of the park, you could see him through the trees, looking rather lonely. You quickened your speed so that you were jogging. Though it was nearly freezing you still pulled your clothes up and went bounding to the bench that Adam was resting in.

When you flopped down, he looked at you. “Y/N!” He said cheerfully. His eyes had lit up when he saw you; he looked very glad to see you.

You beamed at him. “Hello, Adam. What are you doing all by your lonesome?”

Adam leaned back against the wet, icy, bench back. “Nothing. I wasn’t sure if I should bother you or not.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, and scoffed. “Like I would be bothered by my boyfriend visiting me on Valentine’s Day.”

Adam frowned. “I thought you had something to do today…”

“Like what, hanging out with you? My schedule’s empty. Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

Adam stood up eagerly. “Okay. I’d love to.”

You laced your fingers in with Adam’s and started the long trek around the one mile park. Adam leaned in close and whispered, “Well thank you for coming to find me. I would have been sitting there all day.”

“Wow. Don’t be so low-spirited,” you encouraged. “No need to think like that, you’ll only disappoint yourself.”

“Sorry. It’s kinda hard after… um… everything…”

You sighed sympathetically. “I know. It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to worry about it. We’ll be together through it all.”

Adam wrapped an arm around your waist. You walked for a couple more minutes until you found a little tea shop that looked warm. Since it had started to rain, you both decided to take shelter inside. It was a smart decision because as soon as your feet touched the welcome mat it started pouring down outside, covering everything in a thick layer of water.

You walked up to the counter with Adam in tow. There were plenty of varieties, but the one you wanted was in the middle somewhere. The cute barista took your order. You had ordered (favorite tea.) Adam ordered the same thing and you both found a place in the back to sit quietly together.

“I just love the flavor of that tea,” Adam said as he sat down beside you.

“Me too. I get it every time.” You smiled.

“You look gorgeous, by the way,” Adam told you abruptly. “Did you know that is my favorite outfit on you?”

Your eyes stretched wide in surprise. “Oh… I did not. Thank you very much.”

Adam’s eyes traveled down your body, taking in your curves and abs. You felt special as he observed you. You were HIS prized possession.

A waiter came up to you with your drinks. Each of you took a cup and started blowing into it. The smoke rising scattered dramatically, like a phantom running from water. You could smell the ripe scents of its ingredients. You took a sip gently. It burned your tongue but it was worth it to feel the warmth go down your throat and warm you up from within. You sighed out contentedly.

Adam lowered his head to yours. “I don’t think I even need the tea…” he confessed. “You’re hot enough.” He gave you a wink, appearing rather proud of himself for the pickup line.

You shoved him with your shoulder. “Oh shut up. I can’t be hotter than the tea.”

“You might be surprised,” Adam said quickly.

“If you think I’M hot, then you should go look at yourself. You pull it off so much better than I do.”

Adam scoffed. “No. You’re just being nice.”

“Of course not. Do you think I’d lie to you?”

“No!” Adam admitted adamantly.

“Good. How’s the tea?”

“Hot… But I like it. It’s perfect for this weather.”

“It sure is,” you agreed. “Just how I like it.”

You looked back into your tea, just letting the fog keep your face warm, and Adam took the advantage. In your moment of bliss and unsuspicion you felt something climb down your sensitive body, all the way from your waist to your inner thigh. You brought your face up again. Adam was looking at you seriously. “How's Valentine's Day going?” You asked him.

“It’s going great now that I’m with you,” Adam responded sincerely. “I don’t know what I’d do without such an amazing person!”

You blushed and looked into your lap. “Oh… I’m sure you’d make it.”

“Ha. Maybe I would, but barely. I need you in my life.” Adam moved his hand up and down along your left thigh. You pretended not to notice. Instead, you just finished up your tea and leaned back. It was still horribly raining outside, but at least the sun was out now.

You were pulled in close unexpectedly by Adam. You looked up at him. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

You pulled away from him, and Adam took one last drink from his cup. You said, “Are you ready to go back out? It’s getting kinda hot in here.”

“Sure.” He gave you his coat. “Just take this, though. I don’t want you to get too wet out there.”

You gave it back to him. “No. I don’t want you to be cold. We all know how you are when you get cold.”

“Alright,” Adam reluctantly took the coat back. “But only because you want me to.”

You ruffled his hair. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Adam tried to take your hand, but you had other ideas. You pulled it away from him and went racing for the door excitedly. “Come on, Adam! Hurry up, we gotta get out there before the rain lets up.”

“You WANT to go out in the rain?” Adam wondered miserably.

“Duh!” You exclaimed. “The rain is awesome! Come on, let’s go.”

Adam came up behind you, trying to snake his arm around your waist. Unfortunately, you could feel his attempt, and you pulled away from him. You spun around to face your boyfriend, who had on a look of dissatisfaction. He strolled up to you hesitantly. “Where are we going now?”

You shrugged. “Hmmm. We could go back home?”

Adam nodded. “If you want. But, there’s a bakery not far from here. I can’t imagine you turning that down.”

You thought for a minute then realized it would still work out in your plans. “Okay. If you can wait that long.”

“What do you mean by THAT?”

You shrugged. “Oh… I could mean many things by that…”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Adam pointed out.

You darted off, and Adam had to chase after you. “What the hell are you doing? You do know I didn’t sleep well last night, right?”

You stopped and glanced over your shoulder. “What was that? I can’t hear you over the rain.”

Adam looked around miserably, then huffed. He ran to catch up to you. “I said, I didn’t sleep well. So can we please just stick to walking?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Sure you can, if you want to be left behind.” You gave him a playful wink.

Adam groaned. “What’s gotten into you?”

“You’ve got enough energy, baby,” you predicted. “Just run with me.”

“Okay,” Adam mumbled. “Perhaps I have… some.” He reached out an arm to lay it on your shoulders. You allowed it to brush you before grabbing Adam’s hand and racing off across the park. Adam stumbled after you, and nearly fell over.

You caught him. “Woah. Come on, get your head in the game, or have you forgotten how to run?”

“N-No…” Adam stammered awkwardly. “I… just… It was a messy start.” He let go of your hand, which allowed him to run with you instead of behind you. He grinned at you. “Maybe you were right.”

“Of course I was. I’m always right,” you joked.

Adam shook his head. “Now stop that. You’re not supposed to AGREE.”

You shrugged at him. “Whoops,” you said carelessly.

“Hey!” Adam grabbed your arm, pulling you back. You fell into him, and he hugged you so tightly that your arms were pinned to your sides. He looked at you from over your head. “Stop avoiding me, damn it!” He snapped. “Don’t act like I’ve not been noticing.”

You gave him your most innocent face. “Well, I don’t believe I have.”

“Don’t give me that shit! You know what you’ve been doing.” There was a glint of desperation in his eyes, but also enjoyment.

Yeah, You thought incredulously. You’re definitely not having the time of your life.

“Stop pretending you don’t like it,” you retorted.

“Come on, my dearest. I think you’ve gotten a little confused. Take it down a notch.”

You fought in his grasp. “Nah. I don’t think so, babe,” you remarked sarcastically.

You swung your legs back and forth. Your intentions were harmless, of course; all you were trying to do was shift the weight from back to front so that Adam would fall over, hence releasing you from his grip. But… you may have gotten a little too rough. In the end, Adam did end up falling down but not for the correct reasons…

You stumbled away from him. “Oww…” Adam grumbled. “I wasn’t trying to KIDNAP you, relax!”

You knelt down next to him. “Sorry…” you whispered, feeling a little embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to… hurt you…”

Adam tilted his head at you and gave you a bewildered look. “What did you THINK was going to happen kicking your legs between mine?”

You glanced at the grass awkwardly. “I was trying to unbalance you.”

Adam sat up finally, laughing a little. “Well, it worked, didn’t it?”

You looked up at him sadly. “Sorry,” you whispered again.

“It’s okay, I suppose,” he teased with a smile.

You tackled him to the ground. “ ‘Suppose’? What do you want me to do? Get some Tylenol? I’ve got some, I think, in my purse,” you wailed wittily.

Adam leaned his head back into the wet grass and gazed up at his partner. “No. I’m good now.” He was smiling slightly.

The rain was still coming down hard. It crashed down all around the both of you, smothering you and your boyfriend in water. It trickled down your hair and face, and got into your eyes and nose. Adam wasn’t having a better time. His hair was plastered to his head, his clothes were glued to his thin body. You loved being able to see his form around his clothes. “I love seeing you like this,” you informed him.

Adam raised his eyebrows at you. “Why? Do I look better after I’ve been thoroughly drenched by the rain?”

“I mean…” You trailed off.

Your reply was enough for Adam to get the idea. He grabbed your neck and pulled you down. “Now tell me why the fuck you’re not letting me hold you.”

You smirked at him. “Awwwe. Is it getting to you, baby? It was your idea to go to the bakery.”

Adam nodded gradually. “So that’s what you meant. I see. I see your little cleverness. Well, I don’t think I should let you get too out of hand. Maybe we should go home and fix this?”

“I’m not the one who needs fixing.”

“Oh? And why’s that? You ARE the one acting out.”

You cast him a condescending frown. You didn’t answer his question directly. All you gave him was a simple, curt, response. “I’m also not the one who thought they were all alone on Valentine’s Day.”

Adam opened his mouth in fake hurt. He looked at you, pretending to be offended. “I can’t even believe you would say that. I was trying to be NICE.”

“Silly goose, even if I was hanging out with the family, I would have still loved to see you anyway. Even a call wouldn’t have hurt. But no, you just decided my family business was too important. More important.”

“Well- I- er… I never said that…” Adam glanced away self-consciously.

“More important than VALENTINE’S DAY?” You continued. “More important than ME? More important than US?”

Adam squirmed under you. “N-No… That… isn’t how- I just meant- I wasn’t saying it like THAT!”

You got to your feet, and bent down to help him up as well. He took your hand shyly. “Just… stop avoiding me… I love you…”

I love you, too, you little rascal. But understand that you don’t need to worry about what I think of you.

“Oh Adam,” You said out loud. “I love you more than you can imagine.”

“Show me…” Adam requested.

You let out a low laugh. “You don’t want me to.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Alright. If you so insist.”

Carefully, you put your mouth to Adam’s. You started to kiss him lightly. Your lips not giving him all that you could. You wanted him to WANT you. You shoved your hands up his shirt, messaging him, and climbing his stomach up to his chest. Your hands made… a couple of detours...

Adam pulled away. “What the fuck is this? I told you to SHOW me, not CODDLE me.”

You looked around. “I mean… I could fuck you right here, in front of the strip mall. Is that what you want?”

Adam bit his bottom lip anxiously. “That… wasn’t what I had in mind, no…”

You raised a scornful eyebrow at him. “Okay then. Now do you want to go home?”

Adam laughed awkwardly, but didn’t give you an outright answer. “Well, you see… The thing is… The bakery will always be here for us to go to tomorrow.”

You headed back the way you had come. “Alrighty. Race me?”

“Shit, baby. You know I didn’t sleep well.”

“Then let me take care of you. You can sleep for the rest of the day after that.”

“Oh…” Adam murmured. “Your way with words is… arousing…”

“One more reason to hurry then, right? So what do you say about racing me?”

“Oh, definitely. I’m up for that.”

You shook your head. “Instantly changed your mind?”

Adam sidestepped up to you. “Well,” he drawled. “I love you…”

“I love you, too, Adam.”

Adam beamed at you, adoration was shimmering in his eyes brilliantly. “Okay. So, when we get home-”

You took off running across the grass. “Catch me, Adam, baby. Or do you want me to do myself?”

Adam ran after you. “No. I’m coming!”

“Yeah.” Your voice dropped. “Yeah baby. You will be.”

And Adam nearly tripped over his own feet. This year’s Valentine’s Day was going smoothly. Neither of you could wait to get back to the apartment, but Adam was especially titillated. And you could already tell; it was all you needed to get yourself worked up.

What now? You wondered. Hmm. I guess we’ll see when we get home, but which one should come first? The strip tease or the dirty talk?

Valentine's Day - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N, it's getting close to V-Day, everyone, and tbh I'm lonely irl, but I always have Adam, and now you do, too! ;)

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Another year, another lost Valentine's Day. You of all people shouldn’t be the one sitting at home with no one by your side. Even the weather was trying to be supportive, with all it’s sunshine and clear skies. There would have been a time when you went diving straight into that blissfulness and lost yourself in a playful craze, but… your soul had broken apart after the first breakup. Just like an apple on the tree; it was happy and alive until it wasn’t needed anymore. Cast away by the mother, like a miserable excuse for a child, never to return again.

Still, your heart was beating, and that meant you hadn’t quit. It ached, sure, and your mind felt like it was rotting, but otherwise you hadn’t quit, no. You hadn’t given up. Not yet. The thing was, there was something that kept coming back to you, even stronger than that of the last time.

Why?

Why did Cupid treat you like this? Why did she insist on breaking your heart over and over again? Why wasn’t there anyone that was meant for you? If Cupid planned everyone’s love-lives, then why had she been avoiding yours? What was wrong with your love-life? WAS there anything wrong with it? Maybe it was just yourself?

In any case, the facts still remained. You were alone on Valentine’s Day, without a single piece of chocolate or a cheerful looking flower. You didn’t even have an ounce of energy to turn on the living room light that was only one scoot away from you on the couch.

Fuck. Everything hated you.

The spoon shifted deeper into the hard block of ice cream. (Favorite ice cream) was so delicious! It almost lifted your spirits up from the hole they were in but… eating ice cream alone wasn’t nearly as fun when you could share it with someone. All your friends had people! Cupid had given them someone to take care of on Valentine’s Day, and all you got was a handful of ice cream in the dark.

This was so unfair.

Amidst your sulking on the tattered cushions of your old sofa, came the slow rustle of footsteps from beyond the condo door. There was excited chittering and laughter from your neighbors, as they presumably let some of their girlfriends or boyfriends into their rooms, but it didn’t seem to be coming from those suspicious footsteps. It was quieter after some time, but the soft susurrus of steps seemed to persist ever onwards.

You contemplated what that sound was. Perhaps it was only the prehistoric pipes giving way to their confines after such a long endeavor of life? Or perhaps it was the swish-swoosh of your neighbor's broom sweeping over the dusty vents? Maybe one could tell, but you could not.

They dragged up and up and up, those footsteps. Not once did they falter, not once did they stumble, not once did they retreat; the footfalls simply repeated. Until at last, after the final serve of ice cream was finished up and swallowed, the sound stopped.

You didn’t know what to do with yourself. You’d have been asleep right now, if it wasn’t for the abrupt change in your surroundings. What was that, anyway? Was it not the poor pipes? Was it not your soulless neighbor?

And then there it was! A teeny-tiny knock rumbling on your front door.

How could this be so? You were supposed to be alone on Valentine’s Day!

In a very sluggish manner, you stood up from the couch. Your insides were cold from the previously eaten ice cream, and your heart was heavy from the previously stated facts. But somehow you managed to get yourself to your feet, and still hopelessly miserably, you did in fact, unlock the door.

Behind it was a young man that you recognized. His brown eyes were unmistakable. His clothes, tattered and loose, were memorable - or perhaps his appearance was memorable? He was quite handsome, of course.

You stepped back slowly, your mind reeling. This didn’t feel right. This didn’t feel accurate. As you placed one foot behind the other, everything slowed down. It was like moving in slow motion. You could feel your hair blow forwards, the edges of your clothes did as well. You were walking backwards in the wind. Sound stopped, so that it was all just a lackadaisical emptiness, like being underwater.

You kept walking, tediously, backwards. Your eyes were fixed on the newcomer - distraught and unblinking - while your mouth hung open slightly - astonished and bemused.

What the fuck was happening?

The man came walking in, just as fast as you, followed by the strange slithering sound. His movements were lazy, as he looked up from the floor and brought his hands up to his mouth. The click of his lighter resonated around the entire room, ringing for some minutes afterwards. He took a deep breath in, which too was enhanced by some magical hearing aid that had not been there before. You felt yourself grow weak and you reached your hands out backwards, looking for the couch.

He put his lighter back into his pocket, and now you could see the cigarette in his left hand. He blew out on it and smoke filled your vision completely. You stumbled, as the world came back to you once more.

You crashed down, painfully, onto the hard cushions of your couch, white noise filling your ears now as well as the traffic outside the window and the people talking outside your door. The man was approaching quickly by now, a look of alarm on his face. You realized that you knew this man!

“A-Adam Faulkner?” You choked out, feeling dizzy.

Adam’s light voice made your heart flutter. He knelt over you, his hands resting on your shoulders in an attempt to support you. “Woah. What’s wrong, Y/N? Have you eaten anything today?”

You tried to remember what REAL food you had eaten, but it felt like such a long time ago. “I had… ice cream…” you mumbled awkwardly.

“That’s it!?” Adam left you on the couch to go rummage through your fridge. He came back with a sandwich. You hated sandwiches.

“Why do I have to eat that?”

Adam shoved a piece into your mouth unexpectedly, and you gagged but started chewing anyway. “Because you’re faint as fuck, and I don’t want you passing out on me.”

You took the sandwich from him miserably, and ate it slowly. You grimaced every time you had to bite it. “What are you doing here?” You asked. “Don’t you have like… a girlfriend to see?”

Adam sat back into a chair across from you, and continued smoking. “What? Are you crazy? You think anyone would want to date me?”

Your heart pounded suddenly, and your cheeks flushed red. “Oh… Right… I’m sure no one… would…” You cleared your throat awkwardly, trying to end the stupid sentence that you had started.

“So, what got you eating ice cream in the darkness all by yourself on Valentine’s?” Adam questioned curiously. You stared at him blankly, as if your eyes alone could get the words across. “Oh come on. You didn’t really think no one was gonna come see you?”

You shoveled more sandwich into your mouth. At this point you would rather eat this than have to answer his question. Instead, you asked, “What got you to come all the way up to some single person’s house on Valentine’s?”

“ ‘Single’?” Adam wondered. “That works well for my plans, actually.”

You gazed at him in dismay, starting to get the idea he was implying. You finished your sandwich swiftly after that, wanting to look pretty for what MIGHT be coming up. “Let me get dressed! Oh my god, I can’t believe you had to see me like this.” Suddenly, you had newfound motivation…

Adam seemed a little off guard by your major mood change, but he rolled with it. “Sure. I mean, whatever you like. I think you look good in what you have on.”

“I’m still in my pajamas though.”

Adam shrugged. “I guess it makes undressing easier.”

At first you didn’t think much of the comment, until you were in the bathroom. And then you realized his implication. Adam was flirting with you… or trying to. You started smiling. Now that you thought about it, it was really cute. You dressed hastily, and then presented yourself to Adam cautiously. It had been awhile since you had done anything like this.

Adam smiled at you. “There you are. Looking beautiful, as usual.”

You giggled. “Oh, stop. I don’t know what’s gotten into you.” You were embarrassed by his sudden affection.

Faulkner raised an eyebrow. “Maybe it’s nothing?” He suggested. “Maybe I’m just enjoying Valentine’s Day?”

You were completely flabbergasted. “Enjoying Valentine’s Day with me?” You were almost unsure it could be possible.

Adam leaned in close and finally got to the point of his visit. “I want to change your social status from single to taken.”

You laughed out loud. “Cheesy!”

Adam laughed with you. “I had to say it as soon as I thought of it.”

“So, is THAT why you’re here? To give me a cheesy pickup line?”

“Hey,” Adam said defensively. “It was cheesy, but… I was being honest.”

You stared at him, your mind going blank. “W-What?”

“Come on, Y/N. You’re not that dim. Or do you need me to spell it out for you?”

You shifted your feet, unable to believe your ears. You didn’t realize Adam felt that way about you. Had this been an all-time-thing, or was he joking with you? You’d been in love with Adam ever since your first meeting, but… you never thought that the feelings could be mutual. Besides, if Adam had felt this way about you for so long, then why hadn’t he done anything about it? Why was THIS year the year that he opened up?

“I… don’t get it…” you stammered.

“What’s there to get? I really like you.”

“But… I never knew… If I knew, I wouldn’t have waited so long. I thought that… you were with someone else.”

“Who else?” Adam asked skeptically. “I haven’t dated since… since Jigsaw…” He shook his head vehemently. “But, that was a long time ago. I feel ready to try again. So… does this mean… you don’t want-”

“No!” You interrupted. “I do want this! I’m so sorry for complicating it, I was trying to understand everything. It didn't make sense.”

“It’s okay,” Adam said, and pulled you into a hug.

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. It was so loud you could have sworn the whole condo could hear it. Your face and hands were hot, and you felt faint again, but not because of hunger; it was out of happiness.

You wrapped your arms around Adam’s waist and rested your head on his chest. It was odd to you how one’s outlook on life could change within a day, all depending on the set of circumstances a person was put into. That morning you had been despairing, but now - nearly twelve thirty - you were in perfect bliss. You were just so glad to have someone of your own this Valentine’s Day.

“Hmm…” you sighed. “Perhaps Cupid doesn’t leave everyone in the dark?”

“Huh?” Adam looked down at you, a look of utter bewilderment on his face.

You glanced back up at him. “Oh, sorry. It was nothing.”

Adam placed you on the couch. “What do you want to do now? I was gonna take you to lunch.”

You straightened your back, and dusted your clothes out. “O-Of course, Adam. I’d love to.”

Adam put out his cigarette and tossed it into the wastebasket. He leapt to his feet and went racing to the door. He looked back at you, and gestured you over with his hand. “Come on, Y/N. This is gonna be the best day of your life!”

You followed him out the door hesitantly, a small smile on your face. It was cold outside, but you couldn’t care less about the weather. The mere presence of Adam Stanheight was enough to keep you warm. “I’m excited,” you whispered bravely, closing the door behind you and staring out into the rain. “I haven’t done this in a very long time.”

Car Ride - Adam Stanheight / Reader

A/N This is inspired by Chasing colors, by Marshmello!

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You felt refreshed. The sunlight warmed your skin, the wind blew in your hair, and the sound of the squeaky tires made you excited. You gripped the steering wheel tightly in your clasp, as the music blasted your ears. The roof was rolled all the way down so that you were in direct contact with the outside atmosphere. Adam Faulkner was beside you, but you were so focused on the road that he kept flickering in and out of your vision. You could smell the cigarette smoke coming from the passenger’s side, where Adam was located.

Bright, rainbow, lights flashed wildly in your eyes. You found it hard to keep your eyes on the road, but you could see well enough to have an idea of where everything was situated. You were going down fast. Fast, fast, fast. So very fast. You loved it.

“Y/N,” Adam mumbled around his cigarette. “Don’t you think you should slow down a little bit?”

You squinted your eyes, trying to see around the rainbow streaks of light. You grunted. “No way.”

Adam blew out on his cigarette, and then leaned over to you. He kissed your cheek gently, and started combing his fingers through your hair. You could feel his body heat creeping up your skin.

“A-Ahh,” you stammered.

Faulkner nuzzled your cheek, and whispered “I miss you over here. When will we be home?”

“Um… I don’t know…” You grumbled. “Sorry. I’m not going home yet.”

Adam kissed you again, and then sat back in his seat. He continued to smoke. You rounded a corner aggressively, your tires skidding all along the black pavement, screaming at you all the while. You never let up from the gas. Not once. You took delight in watching the trees and fields and other cars pass by so quickly you couldn’t even tell what they were. They all looked like colorful blurs at the side of your vision. You liked it for some reason; you were pretty sure it was because it took your mind off reality.

There was a break in the music, putting the car in total silence. Adam took this moment to speak. He said, “I just don’t want you getting hurt, Y/N. Will you please slow down? It’s really not your time to join…” he looked up at the sky.

You let out a condescending scoff. Adam could be so overprotective of you. “Baby, I’m not gonna get hurt. This is all just good fun. You worry too much, won’t you relax? Just for right now.”

“I mean… your life matters, don’t you know that? Please, stop the car.”

Your mind went blank suddenly. You couldn’t even believe the words you were hearing. “I’m not here to kms!” You shouted at him. “I’m here because I need to relax. Christ, Adam, take a chill pill.”

“I… didn’t think that…” Adam stammered slowly. “I was just worried that you might get in an accident.”

“Oh my god, baby, why are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” Adam inhaled once again on his cigarette.

“Referring to me in singular, like you’re not here with me.”

“Oh yeah…” Adam mumbled. “I guess I wasn’t really thinking straight.”

“What does that mean?” You asked him incredulously.

“I’m just not as worried about myself as I am about you. I love you. I don’t want you to leave this world.”

“Oh, so it’s okay for you to go?”

“Well… no, that’s… I didn’t mean it like that. Of course I value my life, but… you come first.”

You shivered, getting a weird sense of dejavu. You looked at him in suspicion, but Adam only pointed out the windshield. “Look at the road!” He exclaimed.

You brought your eyes back to where they should have been. Nothing was out of sorts, but Adam was being his usual, anxious self.

“Holy shit, Y/N. You can’t just do that!”

You sighed heavily, and grabbed the steering wheel harder. “Sorry. Sheesh.”

“Are you trying to get yourself… Are you trying to get us killed!?”

He had to correct himself? You asked yourself. What the fuck is going on with you today, baby?

“I always go this fast, what are you talking about?”

“You know the speed limit is thirty five, right? What is this?” He peered over your shoulder to get a glimpse. “Sixty!?”

You rolled your eyes. “What’s the matter, Adam? I don’t understand! You’re being strange.”

Adam was oddly silent. He raised the cigarette to his mouth again, and didn’t answer you. You licked your lips nervously, unsure of the situation. You just wanted everything to be normal. “I know it’s been rough after everything that’s happened. I’m just glad you’re able to go on rides with me. It makes me feel really happy.”

Adam took a deeper breath on his cigarette and let it out slowly. The conversation ended after that, and the music popped back on. You weren’t really in the mood to listen to it anymore, but it gave you something to concentrate on, so you didn’t turn it off.

Your vision blurred, the rainbow lights flashed once more. You kept your eyes open though, for Adam. Adam would be panicking if you closed your eyes. Adam didn’t say anything even though he could see you losing yourself. You were impressed by that.

The drums and guitar bounced around the car and echoed in your ears. Synthesizer calmed your nerves and the beat was steady. You enjoyed everything that you were hearing. You sighed. “Are you okay?” You asked Adam.

His voice was quiet when he spoke, and his words seemed to fade in and out throughout the sentence. “I don’t want you to go through what I went through.”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” You smiled in amusement.

“I don’t want you to end up like me.”

Confusion engulfed you. “What?”

“Oh, look at that,” Adam whispered gravely, looking into the rearview mirror.

You followed his gaze. There were red and blue flashing sirens coming up behind you. You started to slow down. “You think they’re after me?”

“Eh,” Adam shrugged. “More or less, I suppose.”

Adam’s indifference concerned you. “What?”

“Let’s just see what they have to say.”

“I don’t get it…” You told him. “Why doesn’t this concern you?”

“Who said it didn’t?” Adam shot back, and then rolled up his window.

You raised an eyebrow at him. “You want me to suffocate on your secondhand smoke!?”

Adam flickered in front of you. Your eyes stretched wide in alarm and you backed away. Adam moved again, and a shadow flickered across his face. You realized that it was only a shadow. You couldn’t really relax after that though.

Turning, you met the officer who had been tailing you. “Excuse me,” he said.

You bowed your head respectfully. “I’m sorry sir. I was unaware of what street I was on,” you lied. “It won’t happen again.”

“I’m not here for your speeding,” the policeman said casually.

You tilted your head at him. “What?”

“I think a friend is looking for you. Do you recognize this name?” The officer handed you a paper with a name and birthdate on it.

Your hands trembled as you looked at it. That was your best friend’s name! “W-What happened? Are they okay!?” Your heart beat increased drastically. Fear pulsed through your veins. You didn’t want to find out that they were dead!

This can’t be happening! I’ve seen way too much death recently!

Adam scoffed at you suddenly. “You act like you haven’t though,” he commented. “You pretend like everything’s okay, when you know it’s not. Come on baby, put two and two together.”

You looked over at him. He had his eyes closed and his head leaned back on the headrest. His cigarette was held perfectly in the corner of his mouth, and his hands were folded together on his stomach. He looked perfectly relaxed. Your mouth flapped open and closed uselessly.

Was he reading my mind?

“Your friend is fine,” the officer said calmly, interrupting your train of thought.

“Oh, well that’s good-”

“L/N,” the man said straightforwardly. “I just need you to step out of the car. You’re not allowed to be driving. And not to mention, you’re not supposed to be unsupervised.”

“ ‘Unsupervised’?” you looked to your right. Adam was still sleeping next to you. You poked him, and he looked at you darkly. “I’m not.”

“ ‘You're not’?” The officer asked you in contempt. His eyes flashed around the car quickly, and then he leaned down in front of you. “Well, where’s the other person?” His voice dripped with superiority.

Your mind was running at one hundred miles per hour. You were trying to wrap your mind around this concept. You gazed at Adam again. Adam had his arms over his chest now, a smug look on his face. “Tell him… Go on, now. Tell him who you’re with.”

Confused, you said softly, “Adam… I don’t understand… Please help me understand.”

“Adam?” The officer asked in disbelief. “L/N, I’m sorry but… your boyfriend died in Jigsaw’s game three months ago.”

Your flushed face turned to him in anguish. “What!? No, you’re insane, you must be! Adam’s been here the whole time, I’ve been riding with him the whole time, you can’t be serious!”

The policeman simply wrote something down in his notepad. Nonchalantly, he inquired, “Your friend wants to know if you’ve taken your medicine today.”

“My medicine? What medicine, I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“This?” The man held up a red bottle. Something in your mind snapped. You recognized it from somewhere.

“That… is mine…” You clumsily admitted. “I don’t know why I need it.” You looked at Adam for help.

Adam blew smoke into your face, you coughed and glared at him. “I knew it was a bad idea to be speeding,” he informed you offhandedly.

“Adam, stop!” You wailed, and grabbed his shoulders. You shook him. “Please help me! Please, I don’t understand what’s happening! I miss you, that’s all! I just want to know what’s going on!”

Adam took his cigarette and put it in your hand. “Take the medicine. Go back to your friend, and remain there.”

“But I don’t want to leave you!” You cried. You buried your face into his shoulder. Adam held you close. “That’s why I stopped taking the medicine!” You gasped once the words left your mouth. “That’s why… I drove down here. I was going to your apartment.”

“Not a good idea,” the policeman cut in.

“ ‘Someone already moved in there’,” Adam said knowingly.

“Someone already moved in there,” the policeman said right after. His voice was serious.

You shuddered. “But I want to stay with you. You seem real. You give me everything I need.”

“Well, maybe that’s because it’s not quite all your imagination…” Adam breathed.

“So you are real?”

Adam frowned. “I shouldn’t be,” he said at last.

“So you are!?”

“Take your pills,” Adam advised.

“No, I don’t get what you mean.”

“You will,” Adam promised, then leaned back into the seat. He didn’t take his cigarette from you.

Cautiously, you turned back to the man, who was waiting awkwardly for your psychotic break to be over. “I’ll take them,” you said uneasily. “I’ll take them for Adam. He wants me to.”

The officer gave you a cup of water, and a pill from inside the bottle. You swallowed it easily. It was way more easy than you were expecting, almost like you’d done this many times before.

“L/N, can you please get out of the car? I need to take you home.”

You clambered out of the car reluctantly, Adam was still sleeping inside. “What about…?”

The condescending officer looked at you empathetically. His demeanor changed to something more light. “Don’t worry. Adam will be okay. You know he’s safe where he is, right?”

You stared at the car miserably. “No,” you said honestly.

The officer gently pulled you into the police car and started to take you home. “What’s in your hand, sweetie? I’m sorry, I call everyone ‘sweetie’ regardless of their gender.”

You felt safer now. Your mind was starting to relax. You opened your hand slowly, and looked into it. Adam’s cigarette was still resting there, burnt up and put out. You were in no mental state to understand how Adam’s cigarette was in your physical hand while he himself was not here at all. You rolled it back and forth between your palms during the whole ride.

Emptiness swam inside your stomach, and filled up your lungs. You couldn’t really breathe around the tightness. Finally the medicine started acting up. You felt yourself resurfacing, felt yourself regaining your thoughts.

You stumbled into your best friend’s arms, and let them hold you. You were getting an earful from them but you couldn’t hear the words. Behind your friend’s back, you unfolded your palms again. Not even registering your friend’s embrace, you only focused on your belongings.

You could almost feel Adam in your hand at this moment. Just having the cigarette in your fingers was mesmerizing. If you couldn’t be with Adam again, then you refused to let this thing go. Ever. That was just how your life was gonna be. There was nothing anyone could do about it. You closed your fingers around it protectively, secretly. No one would ever find THIS.