I Hate How Lost I Feel...always Invisible.

I hate how lost I feel...always invisible.

I can't tell left from right or up from down today...just drowning.

I wish I didn't feel this way. I have things I should be doing, I know it. Family is coming down this weekend and I'm not happy about it. I'm dreading the weekend. Dreading it.

Sitting here listening to sad music lol...I've never done that before.

Just feeling like I fail at everything and nothing will change...I hate it. I used to always believe everything will workout and I know as soon as this feeling passes, I'll probably believe it again. I just wish I could stop believing and I'd be living it. Talking about where I used to be, how things once were.

- Sequoia Red (via Sequoia Red)

Just can't keep up...

All these years later and It still feels as though I'm running on a treadmill, everyone else below running on the earth. I can't keep up, going know where, working ten times harder. Stuck, watching everyone pass me by.

- Sequoia Red (via Sequoia Red)

Some may buy a TV or a bed, or couch when they get their first apartment, but mine will be a piano. I've always loved it. I crave the sound. I play keys in my head. But I never could afford one. No more than I could afford lessons, but I taught my self on an old keyboard. It broke years ago. But it sits here....as a reminder. I hate that so many things disappear from my life. I dream I get it back before I'm too old to read notes, too tired to sit on a bench and too sore to hit the keys.

Sequoia Red (via Sequoia Red)

What an amazing photograph

Female anti-government protestors pray during a demonstration demanding the resignation of Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh, in Sanaa,Yemen.  Defying a deadly government crackdown, tens of thousands of protesters have poured into the streets. (via)

Sitting around at 2am thinking of how much I miss you. I wish you could be with me for this. But it's impossible. I wish you were just gone on vacation. Or moved away. But you're dead. Stolen from us. All these years later and I hate taking a breath without you by my side to take one with me.

- - Sequoia Red (via Sequoia Red)

I'm doing absolutely nothing today. You cool with that?

Sequoia Red (via Sequoia Red)