Greg Had Been A Professional Hench For The Past Ten Years. He Was Well Adept In Toxins. There Were Scare

Greg had been a professional hench for the past ten years. He was well adept in toxins. There were scare toxins, Joker™ toxins, pain toxins, and hallucination toxins. If you could think of something, the underground toxin industry could make it.

Greg, in all his henching, had never seen an inhibitons-lower-ing toxin. He was kind of jazzed (and honored) to be one of the first henches to use it. Especially because he got to use it on the Batman.

By some luck, Greg and two other henches and a goon (Greg didn't like working with goons) had managed to snag the Batman while he had been swinging around and patrolling. They had knocked him out and tied him to a chair and tied that chair to an old fridge and chained that fridge to a support beam in the old warehouse they were in.

Technically, the four of them where not working with anyone at the moment but padding your resume is important when applying for villainous positions. This would be perfect for Greg's 'Special Intel' section and with the job market how it was, you needed all the help you could get.

Greg nodded to his fellow henches and the goon (Goons. Gross) and he picked up the syringe of inhibition-lower-ing toxin that his friend the mad scientist had given him. He injected it in the Bat's neck through the fabric (Obviously he hadn't taken off his cowl, that would be plain rude). Then, Greg punched Batman in the face.

The four of them were excited when the Bat lurched himself forward in his bounds, thankful that the rope and the rope and the chain had worked. Greg, as senior hench on scene, was given the floor to start the questioning. "So, Mr. Batman" he said because he was a professional, "we have some questions for you."

The Bat squinted at Greg (or maybe his cowl was just malfunctioning? It's hard to tell with the weird white eyes) and growled, "What do you want, Greg?"

Okay, that's pretty cool. THE Batman knows his name. Greg, keeping his excitement at bay, questioned, "Why do you do what you do, Mr. Batman?" It was a fairly easy question, something simple to ease them into the interrogation. Nothing too loaded that would bring up anything that would make the Bat hostile.

"My parents were brutally murdered in front of me as a young boy. I promised them Vengeance™." Greg was not expecting that. Everything is cool. Everything is fine.

"Okayyyy, um, why do you work with Robin?" Perfect. Everyone who had seen Batman interact with Robin knew he was fond of the boy and likely his father. This is perfect.

"His parents were brutally murdered in front of him as a young boy. He promised them Vengeance™." How was Batman putting the ™ after Vengeance within conversation? Why did he have a traumatized child working with him? Many questions that Greg was not stupid enough to ask.

He was, however, stupid enough to ask, "Okayyy! Uh, why do you have so many different Robins?" Dear God, Greg was hoping that this would end up better than his previous lines of questioning. Even the goon was looking uncomfortable and he was a goon! The worst of all of Gotham's underbelly.

Batman looked down in sadness? Thoughtfulness? When the Bat looked up, his jaw was clenched. Oh dear. "My son stopped talking to me and my new son wanted to be Robin. Then my son died!" Why did Greg ask? "Then the neighbor kid asked me to be Robin so I wouldn't 'kill myself.'"

Everyone knew there were things you didn't need to see. Like your parents kissing. Or your Uncle dressed as Santa Clause. Or the man who dressed as a Bat and beat you up crying. "Then I was stuck in time and all my kids thought I was dead and my first son was Batman" huh, who knew? "And he made my youngest son Robin and now my second youngest son is angry."

Honestly, it was on Greg. Like, he knew that a person who did what Batman did couldn't be totally stable. But like, he wasn't expecting this! Now he just kind of felt bad for the guy.

The Batman, one of the most feared people in world, was not on truth toxin, he was on inhibition-lower-ing toxin. Meaning he didn't need a question to keep talking. The normally stoic vigilante just wouldn't. stop. taking. "-wanna pinch his chubby, little assassin cheeks when he's pouting!" Seriously, all of this? Miscalculation on Greg's part. One of the henches looked sympathetic while the other two looked like they were reconsidering their lives of crime. Greg was also questioning why he decided to regularly be on the opposite side of Batdad here.

"-the dead one? Less dead! He's the Red Hood now! He thinks I'm disappointed that he kills people but honestly? I understand it. All I'm disappointed about is the fact he hasn't married a nice, Jewish girl yet. I want grandbats! In fact, I was-"

Well, at least Greg could solve this issue. He had worked for the Red Hood a week or so ago (the guy offered good dental) and he had his number.

"What," ground out a voice on the other end of the line, "I'm in the middle of some family stuff." Greg winced at Mr. Hood's tone.

Hopefully he wouldn't be too annoyed that Greg was the reason for family stuff. "Uh, I have your family stuff right here."

The Red Hood (who he had just! cut! off!) went silent before quietly saying in a deadly tone, "I will slowly decapitate every barista who has ever spelled your name right if you don't give him back right now."

Greg, who was named Greg, gulped. That was several people. "You don't understand, Mr. Hood! I don't want him. You can take him before he tells us more about..."

Greg trailed off to hear, "-used to hit me with paper towel rolls and speak only in Hamlet quotes when he was upset!"

Greg spoke back into the phone "your Shakespeare habits."

Red Hood once again went silent. "I'll be there in five." and he hung up the phone. Greg, who had learned long ago that the Red Hood could do all, didn't question how he would get there without an address. Time to listen to more kid stories.

-

"-stealing coffee from the president, if you can picture it! Superman nearly throttled the two of them! But that doesn't compare to how angry he was when he saw what they did with the Queen's Crown. It was-" Greg was actually slightly disappointed when Batman's latest story was cut off by Red Hood kicking open the warehouse. All the other henches (and the damn goon) looked a little sad too.

Greg, who had sat criss cross apple sauce in front of Batman with the other villains, stood up and dusted his pants off. "Hi, Mr. Hood! Here's your dad! Not a scratch on him and the toxin will wear off soon!" Greg said quickly, attempting to walk away.

Hood grabbed him by his collar, "What did you learn about him? What did you-"

The Hood was cut off by a happily wriggling Bat, "My baby! Look at you! I was just telling these nice men about the time you got in an argument with a zookeeper about bats and birds! You were insistent that bats were a type of bird! It was so cute and then you said that she should 'shove her false information up her -'"

Hood cut off his father with a groan. He turned to Greg, "Help me get him out of here and I won't hurt you." Greg was happy to agree.

After cutting the rope and the rope and unlocking the chains, Batman happily threw himself at one of the most prolific murderers of Gotham and picked him up like a baby and started walking out the warehouse. "You know, I wouldn't have to tell total strangers about you if you gave me grandbats to talk to. I know this nice girl, she runs that deli on 23rd street with her grandparents? Anyway, she's single and she goes to-"

Greg and the other henches (and the goon) looked at each other, all conveying a general 'What the ever loving Fuck just happened?" vibe. Greg was pretty sure at least two of them were going to quit crime after that. At least his mad scientist friend would know that the inhibition-lower-ing toxin worked wonders.

Besides, maybe supervillains would want to hear about how many times each Robin had won their schools spelling bee?

So, I've seen this comic all over my feed

People are saying stuff like "Yay! Look at Damian support the community" and "Damian says support gay rights!".

That is not what this panel shows.

This panel is Damian showing off his weapons that he intends to use to break up pride (which he assumes is a riot like Stonewall) and Kon saying "Pride isn't a protest, it's a party!"

Is this fiction? Yes but the views expressed by our heros reflects the views of the author and society at large.

The views shown in this are: Disruptive demonstration and protest is bad. The LGBTQ+ community doesn't need to fight for rights.

In an era where trans rights are being trampled on and gay marriage is still being threatened, this complacency is dangerous.

In the last few years, there has been legislation that makes parent with trans kids child abusers (Texas) and legislation where even speaking about being gay/helping gay youth isn't allowed(Don't Say Gay Bill). With the overturning of Roe v Wade, other rights, like the right to gay marriage are threatens (as both a protected under Privacy Laws and one being overturned can hurt them all). This isn't even to mention social repercussions and stigma around being part of the community. Trans people (especially black trans people) are still being killed at high rates. Gay people are still hate-crimed and protested against. Hell, I live in the Midwest and I'm still closeted to my family and community because of bigotry.

Being part of the community is still dangerous. Pride may be a celebration of our queerness but it also remains a protest, a way for us to say "We're here and we're queer and your bigotry ain't getting rid of us!"

The opinions of our heroes shows us the attitude of our society and, while our society seems to think our fight should be over, we know that we still have a long way to go.

They all got batburgers after

My therapist: Are you ready to talk about how your dad's love was more conditional for the last few years before his death and, now that he's been dead for the last 6 months, you desperately miss what your relationship was and what it could've become.

Me, hyper focusing on Batman and making him an idealized father figure in my blog: No, thank you :)

Bruce Wayne, sobbing on his knees while clutching his parents grave during a thunderstorm and screaming at the universe: Can I be happy?!?

The universe, throwing a brick with a sticky note on it at the back of his head: No <3

"Alfred is so good at cooking!" "No one can out cook Alfred"

You fool. He is old. He is British. He is white. That is three things against him.

Bruce likes his cooking because he's very precise and gets all necessary ingredients in. Everyone else? Hates it but thinks they're the only one and that they are crazy.

Dick, trying to not get thrown back into the system: Yummy :)

Jason, a street kid who doesn't regain proper tastes until the Pit: So good.

Tim Drake, scared of being in the way: Love it :)

Damian, who knows the values of nutrients and respecting elder: Good.