"Alfred Is So Good At Cooking!" "No One Can Out Cook Alfred"

"Alfred is so good at cooking!" "No one can out cook Alfred"

You fool. He is old. He is British. He is white. That is three things against him.

Bruce likes his cooking because he's very precise and gets all necessary ingredients in. Everyone else? Hates it but thinks they're the only one and that they are crazy.

Dick, trying to not get thrown back into the system: Yummy :)

Jason, a street kid who doesn't regain proper tastes until the Pit: So good.

Tim Drake, scared of being in the way: Love it :)

Damian, who knows the values of nutrients and respecting elder: Good.

"Why doesn't Batman fight crime during the day?"

Correct answer: He is shown crime fighting during the day many times in comics and shows! He also does a lot of the lab analysis during non-patrol hours! It is also important to maintain his public image.

Funniest answer (and therefore correct one): Batman has made a public announcement that he only works at night and to 'pretty please' not do crime during the day to respect his time and sleep. All of his villains agree because they are evil not MONSTERS.

Bruce Wayne, sobbing on his knees while clutching his parents grave during a thunderstorm and screaming at the universe: Can I be happy?!?

The universe, throwing a brick with a sticky note on it at the back of his head: No <3

Bruce, looking haunted and remembering back when Dick would climb on literally any surface available and he found the only way to get him to stop was spraying him like a cat: I know a thing or two 'cause I've seen a thing or two

Damian, preparing to stab one of his siblings: >:)

Bruce, not even looking up from his newspaper: *Grabs a near by water spritzer and sprays* No, Damian

Damian: *angry and betrayed cat noises*

Barbara, trying to tell her dad that she's Batgirl: I took on a . . . job recently and-

Jim, who totally thinks she's a drug dealer but wants to be a Supportive Dad™: You can't tell me more but know I love you!

Barbara, happy that her dad approves of Batgirl, and Jim, happy his daughter trusts him: ^_^

My therapist: Are you ready to talk about how your dad's love was more conditional for the last few years before his death and, now that he's been dead for the last 6 months, you desperately miss what your relationship was and what it could've become.

Me, hyper focusing on Batman and making him an idealized father figure in my blog: No, thank you :)