"Alfred Is So Good At Cooking!" "No One Can Out Cook Alfred"

"Alfred is so good at cooking!" "No one can out cook Alfred"

You fool. He is old. He is British. He is white. That is three things against him.

Bruce likes his cooking because he's very precise and gets all necessary ingredients in. Everyone else? Hates it but thinks they're the only one and that they are crazy.

Dick, trying to not get thrown back into the system: Yummy :)

Jason, a street kid who doesn't regain proper tastes until the Pit: So good.

Tim Drake, scared of being in the way: Love it :)

Damian, who knows the values of nutrients and respecting elder: Good.

One of them time traveling situations where all the bat boys (Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian) become 12 .

The Justice League knows that explaining stuff to the Robins will be easy but they're nervous about Bruce's reaction.

Clark: -and that's what's happening. Any questions?

12 year old Bruce: Yes! It works!

Everyone, including his Robins, are confused as Bruce explains that he has been going out in home-made tact gear for the last two years and just fucking shit up. He regularly beats up grown men by just dropping onto their heads, he hangs out with Detective Gordon to solve murders (and get free juice boxes), and he randomly plants money to help Gotham's poor.

Bruce is just excited to know that he's become even COOLER in the future and now he has a family ^_^

(Everyone else is now understanding why he didn't think it was weird to have Robin side kicks.)

Bruce: I am definitely cool. Like, I might be a dad but I'm still hip with the times.

Also Bruce:

Wears New Balance Shoes ("Foot care is important for super heros")

Has a fanny pack in both his civilian and hero life

Slaps his knees and says 'Whelp' when he wants conversations to be over (he does it within minutes )

Falls asleep in armchairs and snores so loudly he startles himself awake

Calls his children chum, lad, champ, sweetie, baby, etc.

Bruce Wayne is just in denial and his kids make fun of him for it.

DOODLES FROM DISCORD

how batman gets new robins, Jason Todd, 1983

Bruce Wayne, sobbing on his knees while clutching his parents grave during a thunderstorm and screaming at the universe: Can I be happy?!?

The universe, throwing a brick with a sticky note on it at the back of his head: No <3

Damian, preparing to stab one of his siblings: >:)

Bruce, not even looking up from his newspaper: *Grabs a near by water spritzer and sprays* No, Damian

Damian: *angry and betrayed cat noises*