Batdad - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
Bruce: Go to your room, you’re grounded.
Damian: *Grumbles* Not fair...
Bruce: What isn’t fair?
Damian: *points to Jason*
Jason: I just killed 13 people who tried to catcall me in a bar, caused a 10 pile car crash, and burned down an entire building!
Bruce: *sweating profusely*
*bat family having a meeting*
Jason: I hate my life.
Everyone:
Dick: WHERE DID YOU EVEN COME FROM?!
Tim: YOU’vE BEEN GONE FOR 3 MONTHS OUT OF NOWHERE-
Damian: tch, should of made it 5 months.
Bruce: Damian please.
Barbara: so he isn’t dead? Awh...
(Jason scaring everyone because he randomly leaves in the middle of a mission without any word because he forgets he’s with a team he needs to let know he’s leaving lol, old habits die hard)
Damian: I will murder you, Todd.
Jason: can you do me a favor then?
Damian: what.
Jason: do you mind not using a crow bar and staying with me until I die?
Damian:
Dick:
Tim:
Bruce:
Damian: I retract my statement, perhaps another day...
Jason: you know the saying, traumatize them before they can traumatize you.
Tim: I guess you learned that from first hand experience.
Dick: oh my god Tim-
Damian: Drake- that was what you call ‘uncalled for’
Bruce: that’s not even a saying, Jason...
Jason: shut up, Bruce.
reading the old batman comics is so devastating because i’m watching bruce talk about how much he loves jason and how much jason means to him
and i know jason will die in a few issues
IM NOTHING LIKE DAD
ALSO GIVE ME BACK DADS FUCKING STUFF ITS *MIIIIINE*
Battle For The Cowl is so funny as an arc because everyone is fighting to not be like Batman so hard while dressed as Batman and pretending to be Batman
Even though they’re not blood related somehow every Wayne kid copes with loss through absolute delusion
Lmao I love this reply @catostrofiqu
Jason- Aww. I only got four.
Damian- Ha! Loser. I got nine!
Steph- I got ten. Can anyone beat that?
Cass- I only got two...
Dick- Twenty six!
Jason- Most of those were from last night! They don't count!
Bruce, actively going gray and feeling his blood pressure rise- STOP. COMPARING. STITCHES.
Tim, proudly- And bow to the winner! Forty eight!
If you had to describe each member of the Batfam with one sentence each. What would they be? Trying to prove a point. (Real answers preferred, meme answers DEFINITELY allowed tho)
Jason being the easiest kid is super funny. Bruce looking at Jason and remembering Dick at 18: “we can work through this. He’ll come around if I don’t give up on.”
Bruce, watching over a freshly street-snatched Jason: Why is he so calm
Having Dick as the rambunctious, feral, and unhinged first child must've given him SO much whiplash once Jason entered the picture. Lil guy just vibed in his own world. Just reading books and doing schoolwork. Baby Jason hurt nobody.
Bruce will just be going over the ground rules of the manor, remembering all the chaos Dick brought upon the household.
Bruce: No swinging from the chandelier.
Jason: ?? I wasn't planning to?
Bruce: No murder.
Jason: What? That never even crossed my mind-
Bruce: And please, for the love of God, don't sneak out and try to beat up the nearest criminal on our block
Jason:
Jason: WHO is responsible for these rules being created??
Bruce will just come home from a long day of work. He's tired and just wants a nice, quiet evening, but he's subconsciously psyching himself up to prepare himself for the chaos he'll witness once he enters the manor
but then Jason's just quietly doing his own thing, maybe even helping Alfred with some chores, reading, or just lounging about in the manor. In general, just causing no trouble and Bruce just turns to Alfred, all worried like, "Is he sick? I don't think children are supposed to behave this way."
B stands for Buir
Goofy little Steph and Bruce comics from my Instagram in 2021, kind of forgot about Tumblr so I'm going to try to get some of my old stuff posted over the next while
bring Pru back 2k24
another repost from my Instagram in 2021
It's called fashion, Bruce
another repost from my Instagram in 2021
you're never to old for your dad too carry you 😔
Headcanon that Bruce’s kids have all pulled the ‘you're not my father card’ at some point or the other and by the time steph rolled around he didn't even take it seriously
Of course, the first time dick said it, bruce cried himself to sleep. But by the eighteenth time, he was numb to it. “Dickie just eat your peas.”
The first time jason did it Bruce pulled him aside and said “i know Im not, but that doesn't mean i don't care for you jason.” by the twenty fifth time he just held up the adoption papers
The first time Tim said it Bruce laughed. “Tim, you literally forced me to adopt you. Yes I am your father.” Tim didn't bother to say it from then on, maybe muttering ‘you're not my dad!’ under his breath at the computer, just for bruce to whisper ominously ‘yes i am.’
When Steph said it, full of anger and hate and sadness and fear, bruce just followed her and said “you're right. Im not your father. And i will never be your father. But, if you'll let me, id like to be better.” After that any time steph said ‘ur not my father’ bruce would just respond with ‘never will be’
Cass said “your are my father” and left no room for argument
Babs said “ur not my dad or my father or even close to being any of it, but you are my mom.” bruce just had to accept that
When damian said it bruce just stood there for a solid fifteen minutes rebooting. Dick and jason fell out of their chairs laughing.
Duke specifically went “ur my dad! My dad! Boogie woogie woogie!’ and bruce was just like ‘bet aight.”