Childhood Mental Illness - Tumblr Posts
Hi! I’m in the early stages of making a picture book based on two of my stuffed animals growing up, and I’m experimenting with the art style I want to use. Any thoughts on this test drawing of the two characters? I’m struggling a little with the line values… but this is just a first pass, the idea is to learn what I want for the book and determine how I can achieve that : )
If it makes a difference, I want the book to explore childhood OCD via Bitsy. The tone is light and gentle, kind of like Winnie the Pooh.
OCD attacks
In the past few years, I’ve seen a wide spread of information about panic attacks and how to handle them and help someone who is suffering from one. I am incredibly happy and grateful for this, yet I also want more people to know about a similar kind of situation that I have gone through countless times.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical expert by any means, I am just a person who has struggled with OCD throughout their life. These are things that would be helpful for more people to know about OCD attacks and that hopefully help them understand it a bit better.
What is an OCD attack?
An OCD attack is similar to a panic attack, except it is brought on due to the obsessive fears of obsessive-compulsive disorder. It can often seem confusing or irrational to a bystander, but you always have to understand that you are not in the afflicted person’s mind, and you don’t know the thoughts that led up to the attack.
An OCD attack may be a combination of knee-jerk reflexes, built-up stress, and genuine fear about a situation. The person might be truly mentally distressed, or it could be mostly a bodily reaction that they can’t control. It is always a terrifying, even debilitating thing to go through.
An example of an OCD attack:
Amy suffers from OCD. For months, she has had an obsessive fear of causing a car accident, and it has been getting worse and worse. She started driving longer routes to avoid passing by other cars in order to avoid an accident, and eventually she stopped driving altogether. But even that didn’t end her obsession. Amy is now afraid of anything related to cars, even anything that reminds her of cars.
One day, Amy is talking to her friend Matt, and the two of them overhear a conversation about a car. Even though it is irrational, Amy’s obsession is so strong that she becomes afraid that just hearing that conversation will cause Matt to crash his car. Terrified, she asks Matt not to drive home, imagining that he’ll get into a car accident if he does. She knows that this doesn’t make sense, which distresses her even more. Matt knows that Amy has OCD, but he doesn’t understand why she’s so afraid of him crashing his car just because she heard a conversation about a car.
Things to remember if you witness someone having an OCD attack:
Their incoming thoughts are not rational, and may even be very illogical, but they probably already know this. Telling them that they aren’t thinking clearly or aren’t making sense is not a surprise to them, and can make them feel like you don’t understand what’s happening or make them feel even more afraid.
Engaging in someone’s compulsions for them might temporarily lessen their panic, but it will cause them more anxiety and panic later. OCD is a vicious cycle. It’s best to just assist the person by being there for them while they calm their body down, instead of trying to perform their compulsions to satisfy their OCD. In order to make progress to recover from OCD, that person has to choose not to engage in their compulsions.
The human body has a very powerful response system to both real and imagined threats. Once it has been triggered, it usually takes five to twenty minutes to calm down, and it can have lasting effects afterward. When someone is in a fight-or-flight (or freeze) response like this, their body will prioritize their strength, speed, and reflexes over their clear thinking. Even if the person is trying their best to calm down and think clearly, it will probably take time.
The slow, deep intake of oxygen has been proven time and time again to encourage the body to go back into its usual calm state. Oxygen flow to the brain also allows for clearer thinking, and slow, deep breathing is an instinct that is easy for a distressed person to focus on.
If you do accidentally something that freaks them out, know that it is not your fault. You probably couldn’t have known that what you did would trigger that person’s OCD, and it is a mistake that could happen to anyone.
Whatever inconvenience the OCD attack is causing YOU as a bystander is probably a lot less inconvenience than it is causing the person. No one in the world would want or choose for this to happen to themselves. Not only is an OCD attack interruptive, it is stressful, exhausting, and can feel embarrassing. Furthermore, their whole day can be thrown off because of the attack, which makes all kinds of inconveniences for them. This should be an unspoken rule, but unfortunately some people don’t forget it: do not make someone feel like they are burdening you because they are suffering, because that is unnecessary and can even make it worse for them.
Things that can help someone who is having an OCD attack:
Telling them that you’re there for them and offering to stay with them for as long as they need.
Telling them that you have faith in them, you know that they will feel better soon,
Asking if there are any therapy strategies that they are supposed to use for an OCD attack, and offering to help them with it.
Telling them that there’s no rush, that they can have all the time they need to feel better. Sometimes, in a state of panic, it can be extremely overwhelming to think that you are stealing someone’s time or ruining your own schedule. Hearing that there isn’t a rush can be a huge relief in and of itself.
Offering to listen if they want to talk about what’s happening to them.
If the person is afraid to do something (eat, touch an object, leave the house…), you can offer to do it together.
Offering to hold their hand, give them a hug, or whatever their preference is.
Offering to help with anything they need after the attack, such as taking them home or handling responsibilities for them. Sometimes a person can feel extremely overwhelmed not just because of the trigger, but because they don’t know how they will keep going after they’ve calmed down. Offering to take some things off their shoulders and help them can also be a huge relief in and of itself.
Providing a distraction like an interesting conversation, a simple task, or a change of scenery. Even if the person doesn’t directly engage in it, it can still be helpful for them to just watch or listen to you.
Taking deep breaths, even if they don’t do it themselves.
Getting them a glass of water.
Getting them a sensory object like an ice cube or ice pack, a fidget toy, a mint or piece of gum, or any other safe substance that can help to reconnect them with the outside world via their senses.
Getting them a grounding tool that they already use for OCD attacks, like a fidget toy or noise blockers. Some people keep items like this in a backpack or purse. There are even apps you can get on your phone that they might already have.
Giving them privacy or helping them go somewhere with more privacy. It can be even more overwhelming to feel embarrassed or stared at when you’re already distressed.
Thank you immensely for reading this post. I hope it is helpful. If you want to suggest any changes or additions, please comment or reblog! Like I said, I am not an expert, but this has information has come from many, many days going through this stuff. And if you need someone to talk to about it, or you have questions, I’ll do my very best to help you.
One thing about growing up in the Bible Belt and very poor is that both 1. Childhood mortality and 2. The threat of Hell were very real and traumatic fears to my ancestors, so I was trained to say this classic prayer nightly: “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul will keep. For if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul will take.”
I’m still religious, but don’t subscribe to the fear-mongering-for-followers, especially telling *children* that God is like a scary Santa that sets you on fire if you’re naughty. Anyway. I realized today that that prayer was, in part, probably supposed to make me a little frightened, especially of the ideas of death and hell. However, a second thing about growing up super poor in the Bible Belt (aka, the land of “hillbillies neither want nor deserve public assistance”) was that 1. I knew very early that childhood mortality may very well Get Me, but 2. I honestly hoped it would. I always took comfort in that prayer. It was a relief, a plea, that God might take me away any night, and I’d be in a better place forever.
I’ve always had pretty severe mental health issues, and considered the onset of my suicidal tendencies to be ~7y/o, but today, I realized there’s never been a time I was just a happy kid. I’ve been romanticizing the daydream that all of my suffering would end One Day Soon since I was old enough to speak and remember that prayer.
It makes me kind of sad that even though my disabled, single mother fought for our lives and did everything she could for me, even taught me a prayer to 1. protect my life and 2. Protect my soul if my life was too much to ask… and yet all my days I’ve been wishing, *praying* away the life she was so afraid to lose.
My mom used to tell me that when I was only four, I used to cry and say, “I just miss the good old days.” I can only assume those Good Old Days were a time between birth and 4 when her arms still had the ability to carry me, my chronic nightmares hadn’t started, and meals were guaranteed. I have no memory now of such a time. I hope I didn’t hurt her too much by showing my misery.
I don’t know why I’m saying any of this. I guess it was just a stark realization and I need to shout it into the void.