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How to Deal with Loneliness, Fears, Phobias, Depression, and Anxiety

By Eli Kittim (Psychologist & Biblical Researcher)

Loneliness, fears, phobias, depression, and anxiety are not so much reactions to real life situations as they are negative maladaptive thinking patterns. The cure or *remedy* lies in exposing the *falsehoods* or *false premises* that create them in the first place, thereby being able to change the negative maladaptive thinking patterns and their associated feelings and emotions. The way to apply this technique is through a process that the Buddhists call “mindfulness.” Christian mystics call it “guarding the heart.”

By constantly paying attention to your mind (i.e. being alert), you grant access to certain thoughts while refusing entry to others. Sometimes you’ll need to question the reliability and authenticity behind the premise of a thought before deciding to accept it as true or discard it as false. With practice, however, you will become successful in removing all forms of anxiety from your life by focusing on the false assumptions behind the negative thinking patterns as well as on the positive things that God has in store for you. 2 Corinthians 10.5 (NIV) explains this technique as follows:

We demolish arguments and every

pretension [or falsehood] that sets itself up

against the knowledge of God [or truth], and

we take captive every thought to make it

obedient to Christ.

Dave Jenkins, the Executive Editor of Theology for Life Magazine, and the Host of the Equipping You in Grace Podcast, put thusly the concept of the guarding of the heart:

For Christians to ‘guard their hearts and

minds’ in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7)

means for them to be alert, through Christ's

power and protection, to what enters and

dwells in their hearts, because the Bible

teaches that what we say and do, and who

we become is the result of the state of our

hearts.

To this end, Philippians 4.7 promises God’s protection:

And the peace of God, which transcends all

understanding, will guard your hearts and

your minds in Christ Jesus.

In order to stay positive and hopeful——in counteracting loneliness, fear, depression, or any other negativity we might have——Paul insists that we should train our minds to entertain only thoughts that are true and beautiful (Philippians 4.8):

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is

true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable--if anything is

excellent or praiseworthy--think about such

things.

I always have people tell me I look older than I actually am. Go to the last slide and you‘ll see why. #trauma #traumarecovery #suicide #suicideprevention #suicideawarness #troubledteen #troubledteenindustry #troubledteens #troubledteenindustrysurvivor #troubledteenagers #cult #cults #therapy #therapycult #selfimprovementcult #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumasurvivor #childhoodtraumarecovery #childhoodtraumaawareness #childhoodtraumas #adolescenttrauma #adolescenttraumaandabuse #adolescenttraumaticexperienceawereness #teentrauma #violence #violenceisnottheanswer #violenceagainstwomen #violenceprevention #domesticviolenceawareness #domesticviolence https://www.instagram.com/p/CKrk-GPph9h/?igshid=1k3owggotcufd

What I Wish I Could Tell You

I wish I could tell you to leave him--to run away and never look back. But I can’t. You still love him (the potential you’ve always seen in him). You still have hope that one day he’ll change--that one day he’ll buy you gifts on your birthday and comfort you when you cry. 

You’ve seen who he really is (an empty shell), but you don’t believe it yet. You can’t believe it because you still think that it’s you. You know you don’t deserve to be cheated on, insulted, and silenced. You know that...but you don’t believe it. You think, “if I just try a little harder and do a little more for him, then things will be better. He’ll stop hurting me”. But the truth is he won’t--because this isn’t about you. It’s about him, and it always has been.

 No matter how much harder you try or how long you wait, it will never be enough. A black hole is insatiable, and you are already running on empty. He will keep taking your light until you, too, are an empty shell--a husk of who you once were.

 I wish I could tell you that you’ll feel so much lighter once you’re free of him--that home won’t feel like a prison anymore and you’ll be able to breathe without the constant weight of fear suffocating you. 

I wish I could tell you that I know all of this because I’ve lived a story just like yours--that I, too, was afraid to leave despite knowing I deserved better. That I, too, betrayed myself over and over again all in the hopes of winning the love of someone who never even existed in the first place.

I can’t tell you this, and I won’t. But that’s ok--because you’ll figure all of this out on your own, in your own time. I know you will, because you are strong.