Helaegon - Tumblr Posts

Aegon's doomed, haunted queen and mother to his children.

☀️🌙

helaegon/tomphia.

‘the queen is an enduring mystery, is she not?’

Helaena x Aegon fic recs

As your resident helaegon writer, I compiled my all-time fave Helaegon fanfics, ones I've reread over and over, that gives us more than what the show had! Here is my list of beautiful fics with awesome writing that deserve love, kudos, and comments.

I love mostly all Helaegon fics though these are the ones I can remember on top of my head (in no particular order). I might post a part 2 as there are more.

𖤓 tilt the head of Jesus to place upon his crown by @thescorpioho Southern Gothic helaegon? I mean?! Poetic writing with religious and haunting imagery, it just stays and haunts my mind.

𖤓 Family Duty. by @liv000000 On Helaena and the burden of her duty, explores her relationships with her family and just does her character the justice she deserves.

𖤓 long nights, with your hands up in my hair. by alexander (shwishu) [E] THIS. This is the fic that singlehandedly converted me to this ship. It's sexy, dark, and hot as hell.

𖤓 Dragonblood by Aegon_the_King Modern AU Helaena and Aegon where he gets her pregnant and they have to deal with their family. The drama, romance, and caring for their kids is on point.

𖤓 Refuge in your arms by Aebi12 After the dance with Jace

𖤓 Wedding night fics: I'm his good girl, putting out for marriage by poppy_afterdark grind against your bones until our marrows mix by loonette sunburn in my eyes and my name on your bitch, yeah, she tatted by baqlawa So beautiful by Biggestscarinyourback

authors: anything by lullaeby, brutalizer, franzkafkagf, angelsarcophagus, and mindandsoulandstuff

Lastly, self-promoting my profile. I have only begun writing again this year and I'm a little rough but mostly I treat fic as practice to write a better thing next time ;)

Aegon and Helaena's Wedding Aesthetic

An Analysis of Aegon Targaryen ll's relationship with family from my fic that no one asked for

(Obviously, this is my take on Aegon based on my own fic, also kind of spoilers if you haven't read)

For the first 13 years of his life, Aegon really couldn't care too much about Helaena, he just saw her as his weird little sister. There were moments of love such as when he handed her a beetle in Driftmark but those were few and far between.

"He passively stretched out his hand, demonstrating a black beetle. Helaena looked as if she wanted to jump in place. She excitedly took the creature from Aegon’s hand and caressed its shell. (1)"

However, something happened in Driftmark that changed him forever. Aemond lost his eye. And Aegon failed to save his brother because he was drunk.

Aegon seemingly understood and put down his goblet. “Very well, but I’ll be drinking some fine wine later tonight. (1)”

Up until that point, Aegon tolerated his siblings but now his own carelessness had resulted in Aemond being hurt. His protectiveness toward his siblings was triggered that night.

"Aegon’s face darkened. His shoulders tensed as he clenched his jaw. Aemond had rarely seen his brother so upset. “That’s not fair! Jace called Aemond a Green!” Aegon suddenly spoke out. (2)"

Now as a grown man, Aegon has stopped drinking. He is married to Helaena and they have twins. He loves his children but retains feelings of self-hatred that sometimes come out in his interactions with them.

"Jaehaerys who was born first had Helaena’s lilac eyes. Meanwhile, Jaehaera who was born next had his eyes. The color was just a shade darker, but he could tell from the moment he saw her. He didn’t know what to feel when he saw those eyes. Her smile was her mother’s, but he regretted that his blood gave her his eyes.(3)"

He loves Jaehaera but she unfortunately inherited his eyes and he hates that. He adores his daughter and despises that she took on his features. He doesn't see himself in the greatest light and her looking like him crushes him because he feels she shouldn't look like him. Jaehaera is sweet, innocent, and good which Aegon feels he is not.

His relationship with Helaena is also complex. Given that he was raised alongside her and surrounded by the traditional Targaryen beliefs, he was aware that siblings married but he didn't think they would. Aegon has always seen Helaena as his little sister in the non-Targaryen way. Even after they married (for reasons I can't spoil yet) Aegon still sees her as his sister, not a romantic partner. Due to his protectiveness following Driftmark, he will sometimes display what others think are romantic gestures.

"With his other hand, he cupped her cheek.(3)"

"Aegon took her hand and cradled it.(3)"

However, he simply does these things platonically. In the example of his holding her hand, he knows Helaena likes certain physical gestures. And with his touch of her cheek, it's his trying to snap her out of her dragon dreams because she goes into a dissociative state. While they clearly have evidence of their consummation, Aegon can't see her as his wife. The idea of her being his wife is simply a title to him. While he realistically does recognize that they are married, to him she's his sister first. An example of this is when they briefly talk about their wedding.

“That child may have grown but he still cares about his little sister.(3)”

He purposely calls her "his little sister" and not "his wife". It could be seen as a way of him putting a distance between them but that's not the case to Aegon. To him, loving Helaena as a sister is more meaningful than loving her as a wife and this goes into Aegon's own issues with the idea of romantic partners in general.

When he was thirteen years old Aegon and his family were forced to flee King's Landing, effectively becoming traitors. Since then, he has been running for six years of his life only surrounded by his two brothers, younger sister, and mother. Due to this, he’s never truly developed a bond with someone outside his family. If he ever possibly began to care for someone romantically it wouldn’t have lasted. Aegon knew that because of how often his family has to move around he didn't try to develop any other relationships. To him, love was never a realistic option. Helaena is the closest he’ll ever have to that type of bond but as previously mentioned he doesn't feel that way with her. Despite this, he takes his marriage with Helaena seriously.

“I promised you that when we took our vows.(3)”

In conclusion, Aegon is a complicated person and things will only get more complicated when the dance begins. No one asked for this but I love explaining characters.

Citations even though I wrote this 🕺

(1) A Targaryen Type of Madness Part 19

(2) A Targaryen Type of Madness Part 19 Continued

(3) The Madness of Dragons Chapter 2

Anyone notice how Tom stared at Phia and how incredibly proud he looked when others compliment her about her foreseen ability? Like whaaaaaaat?

PHIA SABAN TALKING ABOUT QUEEN HELAENA TARGARYEN IN S2.

"she's essentially the queen."

TEAM GREEN FAMILY.

Helaena: *with suitcase I need to catch my flight.

Aegon: Have a good trip, hon

Helaena: Remember I’m leaving you with two babies. I expect to see two babies when I get back.

Aegon:

Aegon: I’m capable of babysitting!

Helaena: They are your kids, sweetie. It’s called parenting.

HOTD S2 Episode 8 leaks (updating)

Kingslanding:

Aemond burned down villages at Sharppoint out of rage and humiliation. He took life of common folk so he could feel strong again.

He tried to drag Helaena into war but get yelled by Alicent. He also thought it’s an insult that bastard could ride dragons. He tried to drive his sister into war not just for victory but also for “burning the sin”.

Aemond talked to Helaena on the balcony again.

Helaena said: “And if I refuse，will you burn me as you did Aegon?”

Aemond: That’s a lie.

Helaena: I saw it. You burned him and you let him fall.

Aemond: What you said is treason.

Helaena: Aegon will be King again. He’s yet to see victory. He will sit on the wooden throne. And you, you will be dead. You will be swallowed by the God’s eye and you will never be seen again.

Aemond: I could have you killed.

Helaena: That doesn’t change anything.

Helaegon nation arise!!! 🔥🔥🔥

——

Dragonstone:

Alicent tried to convince Helaena to leave and clearly she didn’t finally agree. Alicent went to Dragonstone to see Rhaenyra.

(The parallel of it ohhhh)

Alicent told Rhaenyra about Aemond and Cole’s plot and whereabouts. She promised when Rhaenyra come to Kingslanding, Helaena as Queen will surrender and open the city gate. She said she could talk Aegon into bending knees as well. But Rhaenyra insisted she need to have Aegon beheaded publicly.

Ulf keep stimulated Jace with his dark hair and said something like we are both dragonriders. He behaved badly on the dinner scene.

Jace was pretty upset same reason as the last episode. He thought dragon was the only thing that proved his worth. Baela told him a man’s worth has nothing to do with the dragon or title but should be decided by who he truly is. Jace said it’s hard because he was laughed at during his entire life.

Baela my girl!!! Slay and wise!!!💅💅💅

——

Harrenhal:

Rhaenyra and Aadam (seasmoke’s dargonrider) went to Harrenhal to see Daemon and the army he had in riverland.

Daemon kneeled and sworn loyalty to her. He began to realize the nation has to stand united under Rhaenyra so he abandoned his desire for the throne. Because he touched the weirwood tree and saw the future including Rhaenyra sitting on the throne, blood raven, white walker and Danny with three newly hatched dragons.

The sextual tension between these two is amazingly. Pray for the bed in Harrenhal tonight 🥵🥵

In the middle of the night

Helaena: The King summoned me? Now?

Ser Arrak: I’m afraid so, Your Grace.

Helaena: *tired and sleepy Fine

In Aegon’s chamber:

Helaena *in her dressing gown what do you need me for, my King?

Aegon: You know exactly what I need

Helaena: But it’s just little thunder and lightning outside, Aegon.

Aegon: Yeah that’s why I need you??!!

Helaena: Okay okay let’s cuddle. Happy?

Please make Maelor now it’s an emergency

king and Queen 💛💙

Helaena: Aegon annoyed me today, so I told him I can’t wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.

Aemond: ... There’s nothing special about tomorrow.

Helaena: Ah, but there is something special about watching the colour leave his face as the panic takes over.

helaegon + the aftermath of blood and cheese

Helaena: I want to hear the 3 words !

Aegon: I love you.

Helaena: That's sweet.Try again.

Aegon: Fine. I will behave.

(x)

Bounded by fire and pain - Helaena Targaryen x Aegon II Targaryen // Green Siblings

summary: In the night Aemond finally gets his dragon, he also loses an eye. Aegon can hardly bear the guilt and hatred. He can't stand the sight of himself. Strangely, the person who helps him the most is the last person he expected it from. His sister and future wife, Helaena. And somehow Aegon manages to find his place again.

words: 2.552

Warnings: Blood, injuries, family problems, Fluff(?), Targtower Siblings dynamic, this family needs therapy like soo much therapy

AO3

A/N: I need more Helaegon fics ( If you know some good ones please send them to me). I love their doomed failmarriage. Soo I write out this headcanon I have about the Night after Driftmark. I hope you like it :) It was actually planned as a Helaegon exclusive but somehow I got carried away at the end so we also have a "guest appearance" from Alicent and Aemond and is a bit more about family.

sequel/ part 2

Enlish is not my native language

Gif not mine // requests are open :)

Anyways have fun and be kind.

The room is illuminated only by a few candles, Aegon stumbles over some of his belongings as he enters. His steps are unsteady. The wine in his blood still troubles him. He would prefer to reach for the next cup right away. He wants to drink so much that he completely forgets this entire evening.

Aegon sits down on the uncomfortable bed. The room is unfamiliar. Everything here is unfamiliar. He hates it. He wished he could just walk out, mount Sunfyre, and flee from this island. But of course, all exits are now better guarded, and a Kingsguard stands at the end of the corridor. Aegon has to wait until tomorrow before he can finally leave Driftmark. And hopefully these memories as well.

Aegon closes his eyes for a moment to soothe the headache a little. An image of his brother appears, his pain-wracked face, the clenched hands around the chair, and the tightly pressed lips.

Aemond was brave. Not a single sound escaped his lips as the master removed the rest of his eye and stitched up the wound. At the sight of it, Aegon feld sick. He had to turned away. He couldedn´t bear the sight of his little brother, now forever mutilated.

Aegon opens his eyes again and gets up from the bed. He starts to pace restlessly back and forth in the room. The desperate pleading of his mother ringing in his ears. She demanded justice, but his father simply ignored her and brushed her aside like a doll.

He's been doing that his whole life, Viserys pushes aside his mother, his siblings, and him. Usually he ignores that they even exist.

Aegon's temples throb, he searches for a cup of wine, but finds nothing. He needs to distract himself. He can't think about it. His steps are getting faster, he keeps pacing back and forth. Aegon feels the tiredness pulling at him, yet he cannot close his eyes. He cannot bear the memory of his brother.

And the strong bastards have once again gotten away without punishment.

A hot rage rises within him.

He is angry with his nephews.

Angry about his half-sister.

Angry about his father.

He hates them all.

Aegon grabs the nearest object and throws it against the wall. The small wooden box breaks against the stone wall into its individual pieces. He couldn't care less.

His gaze lingers on the mirror. His long blonde hair is sticking out in all directions and is tangled. Restless and dull eyes stare back at him. Aegon cannot stand his own reflection. He approaches the small mirror and wants to smash it.

But his gaze is distracted by an old pair of scissors.

Without really thinking, Aegon reaches for it and begins to roughly cut individual strands of his blonde hair haphazardly. His hand trembles as the first strands of hair fall to the ground, and with them, the first tears fall from his eyes. Aegon angrily brushes them away with the back of his hand. Then he roughly grabs his hair again to cut off the next strand. His scalp pulls painfully when he tugs at his hair. But this pain is preferable to the pain in his heart.

His hand trembles, and his reflection in the mirror is blurred by the tears in his eyes. In the next moment, a pain shoots through his hand. Damn! The scissors had caught his hand.

Aegon throws them onto the table and looks at his hand. Blood flows over the palm of his hand and his fingers, dripping onto the ground.

The sight of his furious mother as she goes after his half-sister comes back to his mind. She bleds today as well. Aegon had never seen his mother like this before. He knows that Aemond is her favorite son and that she loves him with all her heart. But that she fights for him like that surprised him. And his heart filled a little with warmth. At least his brother has someone fighting for him. Aegon curse quietly.

"What are you doing there?"

Startled, he flinches and turns around. Unnoticed by him, his sister opened the door and entered the room.

"Nothing," he says. "Go away." He sounds meaner than he actually intended, but he wants to scare her off, so being meaner is better.

But Helaena does not disappear. Instead, she approaches him. While she goes to him, she tears the fabric of her skirt. Aegon watches her skeptically. She stops in front of him and reaches for his injured hand. Aegon is pulling it away.

"I said go away." he hisses at her again.

Helaena looks at him critically for a moment. Her gaze is uncomfortable for him. He doesn't want her to see him like that. He doesn't want anyone to see him like that.

"No." she answers and simply reaches for his hand again. Her fingers are warm as she touches his hand.

Aegon could theoretically shove them away. But he doesn't want to hurt her. After all, she is his sister.

Even if she is strange.

Even if she constantly has disgusting creepy-crawlies with her.

Even if she will someday be his wife. Or maybe precisely because of that?

Helaena starts to wipe away the blood and then bandages the cut with the fabric she tore from her skirt.

"That's just a small cut. It will heal without a scar," she then says. Helaena examines him closely. Aegon cannot stand her gaze, so he looks at his hands. Helaena still holds his in hers. She wasn't really thorough when it came to wiping off the blood. She even stained her own hands with blood.

"How do you know that?" Aegon asks, as the silence in the room is so uncomfortable that he can no longer bear it. He has no idea why he is asking that. He doesn't know what else to ask.

Helaena is his sister and his future wife, but she is also a stranger.

Aegon knows that it's his fault. He pushed her away from him, called her crazy, and repeatedly stated loudly that he did not want to marry a crazy woman.

"I am listening," Helaena replies, reaching for the scissors. "Sit down, otherwise I can't reach the top hair."

He is surprised by himself that he listens to her and sits down. Would she stab him with the scissors?

He deserves it.

He hasn't been a good brother for a long time. If he ever was one.

Helaena starts cutting his hair. She is cautious, and it is clearly more pleasant as it was as he tried to cut it.

"I also always hear what you say about me."

Aegon's mouth is dry. He never thought about how his sister felt with all his silly remarks. He didn't even think she would pay attention to him.

"I'm sorry for what I said," he whispers, unsure if she even heard him.

"I know," she replies to him. Aegon doesn't know what to say. He just keeps watching as more and more bundles of blonde hair fall to the ground. He feels that with each strand, a little of the weight on his shoulders lifts. The burden of the Targaryens.

He hates them all. His father, his half-sister, and his uncle. He hates the way they look at his mother, the way they smile at his siblings and him. He hates them all.

But he loves his mother, he would die for her and he will fight for her, just as she fought for Aemond today.

He loves his brother, even though he is always mean to him.

He loves his sister, even if he doesn't understand her in the slightest. Aegon can hardly looking at her for more than five minutes. Every time he did, guilt crushes him.

Once they are married, she can no longer escape him. Aegon will pull her into his darkness, and in the end, nothing will be left of the girl who was once his sister. He would plunge her into her misfortune.

How could she ever be happy with someone like him?

Aegon knows that he is not good enough.

His father shows it to him every day. He is not good enough for him, and that's why he is not the heir.

Helaena sets the scissors aside and runs her fingers through his hair, allowing the last loose strands to fall to the ground. Aegon leans into the almost tender touch and closes his eyes for a moment. Helaena carefully tucks a strand behind his ears. When Aegon opens his eyes again, he has to blink away tears and has to swallow a few times.

"Thank you for your help," he whispers and only then looks in the mirror. The typical long hair of the Targaryens is gone, instead, his blonde hair stops just below his ears. He wishes for a moment to get rid of the blonde, but he's not a strong bastard, so he has to live with it. Aegon suddenly feels lighter, and as he breathes in, he has the feeling that the air is truly reaching his lungs since a long time.

"That looks good on you," says his sister with a slight smile. Aegon turns his head towards her.

"Why are you so nice?" he asks confused. "I don't deserve this. I have neglected you, insulted you, and made fun of you. I don't deserve this kindness. You should have stabbed me with that damn scissors, then we would both be freed from our fate."

Helaena is silent for a moment. "Our fate," she says then and sighs. "There is nothing we can do to escape our fate."

Her voice sounds a bit distorted, and Aegon has to suppress the reflex to make fun of her and say something mean. Instead, he sighs.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry that I'm such a bad brother. I did not deserve any of your kindniss." he admits then.

"You deserve kindniss because you are a human Aegon. And I am your sister. I am you Family. You don´t have to earn that your Family cares for you and loves you. You are not a monster, Aegon. You are simply lost. But you will find your way back," she says with such confidence that Aegon wants to believe her. Even if he doesn't know if he can do it. He nods and tries it with a smile.

"I will do better." it sounds like a vow even though it isn't one.

"You will. Come on now," Helaena says, extending her hand to him.

"Where are we going?" Aegon asks, confused. He doesn't reach for her hand, and after a moment, she lets it drop again.

"To Mother and Aemond. It is better if we are all together today."

Helaena turns around and leaves her brother's room. She doesn't turn around, she knows that he is following her.

Helaena does not go to Aemond's chambers but to those that have been assigned to the queen.

Ser Criston stands dutifully at the door. When he sees the two children, he nods slightly and opens the door. Aegon steps behind Helaena, trying to hide behind her.

The queen's chambers are almost deserted, a small fire still burns in the fireplace, and otherwise, candles are lit. Alicent lies in the bed, holding her younger son tightly in her arms. Aegon can hear Aemond sobbing even though he is hiding his face against her shoulder. He sees how the body of his little brother trembles under his sobs. Aegon feels sick at the sight and would prefer to turn around and run away. But Helaena's hand closes around his and she squeezes it gently. Her grip is gentle even though he notices that she is tensing her muscles, ready to hold him firmly at any moment should he attempt to escape. Helaena is Aegon's little sister, but she is also Aemond's big sister, and Aemond needs his family now.

His mother lets her gaze glide over the short hair, the blood-stained hands of her children, and the bandage on Aegon's hand.

"Are you allright?" she asks her older children while her hand gently cares over Aemond's narrow shoulders.

Aegon just nods.

"Yes. We wanted to be together tonight," says Helaena as she approaches the bed. "May we stay?"

The corners of his mother's mouth twitch slightly, and Aegon is sure she almost smiled. But she doesn't do it. Aegon is afraid that his mother will never smile again. Alicent lifts the blanket that is over her and Aemond. Helaena gently pulls on his hand so Aegon has to move. Helaena slips under the covers next to Alicent. Aegon hesitates for a moment but then climbs into the big bed and lies down next to his brother under the blanket. Suddenly, Aegon feels like he is five years old again, and his mother has taken them all out of their beds to let them sleep with her in the queen's large comfortable bed. A strange feeling of warmth spreads within him.

Aemond slightly turns his head towards him. At the sight of the large red wound across his face, Aegon has to swallow. This scar would never disappear. Just like the scar on Aemond's heart. They all have the same scar on their hearts. In this case, it was Viserys who wielded the blade.

"You look terrible with short hair," Aemond says with a trembling voice but a hint of a smile on his lips. Tears gather in Aegon's eyes.

"You too," he replies in a hoarse voice. Aemond laughs briefly and then his body is shaken by the next sob. Aegon doesn't know if he is in pain or if he is simply hurt because of the injustice that has happened to him. He hesitates for a second, but then he carefully puts his arm around his little brother. Carefully, he gently pulls him closer.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers with a trembling voice, blinking to hold back the tears. Then he hears his mother's sobbing next to him, so he looks at her. Tears are running down Alicent's cheeks again. She holds Helaena in her other arm and now reaches out her hand to Aegon. He hesitates again for a moment before reaching for her hand. She wraps her hand around his, and as he feels the warmth of her hand, he can no longer help himself but let the tears run down his cheek.

"Mummy I´m sorry I failed you. It will not happend again. I promise. I will protect all of us from now on. I swear it Mummy." this time it is a vow.

His mother nods slightly and squeezes his hand. Then she kisses Helaena's blonde head and Aemond's forehead. She always did that before she put them to bed. Aegon had forbidden it years ago. Now, however, he slides closer to her and lets his mother kiss his forehead. Her tears hit his cheeks and mix with his. But as Aegon sinks back into the pillows and holds his little brother in his arms, the anger, the hatred, the fear and the guilt feels just a little bit less terrible.

Aegon had forgotten what it feels like to be with his family. That wouldn't happen to him again.

**

part 2/sequel

Helaegon fic recs bc I love their failmarriage 💚

All this fics are great. My favorit is before we're gone. 10 out of 10. It is just perfect😭💚❤️.

Here are Helaegon one-shot fics I've written for HotD for the course of season 2. Nothing like a show's bad writing and a hater to motivate me to be productive. I will be writing for other pairings soon and also focusing on a few multi-chapters.

shadow and dust

Aegon is with Helaena during their son’s funeral procession instead of their mother. He learns how to use the people's grief for him to his advantage.

falling to our ruin

Aegon is brought home broken and burned, and only Helaena's touch brings him comfort. Post-Rook's Rest hurt/comfort

before we're gone

As Helaena loses herself in grief, Aegon tries to do what he can to save her. One night, she escapes on her dragon to end it all. Aegon has to find her and bring her back home, back to him.

your beautiful burning

Aegon and Helaena cannot comfort each other with words, so they deal with their grief in the only way they know how - in touches of pain.

~

I can't express what Helaegon means to me, it single-handedly revived me from years of writer's block and made me write again. I also continued a multi-chapter, hollow heart, which will be ending/wrapping up soon.

Bounded by fire and love - Helaena Targaryen x Aegon II Targaryen (18+MDNI; smut)

This is a sequel to bounded by fire and pain but can be read as a standalone.

Summary: Aegon has tried to be a good brother. He knows he hasn't always been successful. Now the day he had feared has come, his wedding day. He must marry his sister and do his duty. Now he will drag her into his dark abyss with him. But Helaena surprises him with her desire and he manages to find comfort in her arms.

Warnings: age up characters, hurt/ comfort, self-hate, thinking about suicide (briefly), dark!, angst, family issues, Aegon is a product of family issues, Alicent is a bad mum but she tries, , drinking, sexual trauma, blood (briefly), marriage night, loss of virginity, insecure Helaena, incecure Aegon, sibling incest (obvious), p in v sex, oral (f), fingering, innocent/virging Helaena, innocence kink, pet names (?idn Aegon calls Helaena good girl once), smut, 18+, MDNI!

Words: 10.066

A/N: My Helaegon brainrot starts as a joke, but guys its not a joke anymore. I can´t stop thinking about them and the crumbs the show gives us doesn´t help.

English is not my first language// Gif not mine// AO3 // This turned out much darker than I originally intended.

I will write Dragons and Roses 03 over the next few days I promise (and there will be a part 04 bc I have no self control)

Since the fateful night at Driftmarkt, something has shifted in Aegon. Since that night, he is trying to do better. He tries to be a good brother.

He is no longer mean to Aemond and Heleana. Aegon even took Aemond to the brothel at his 13 nameday. Just like his father had done with him. Viserys had said that this is a Targaryen men tradition. Aemond was angry, but Aegon tried. He also has learned to listen to his sister. Her riddles still confuse him, but he knows that he can make her happy with a new insect, and he even tried to learn something about the little crawlers. But the book that the teacher had given him was so boring that he gave up after two chapters. He prefers to listen to Helaena as she explains why certain beetles cannot fly while others can. He tries to remember as much as possible. He is really trying.

But Aegon likes it best when all three fly on their dragons together. Sunfyre's back is his only source of happiness. Experiencing this happiness with his siblings gives Aegon strength. For hours the three dragons fly over the Crownlands.

However, there has been no time for that in the last weeks. The last few weeks have been filled with wedding preparations. Every day Aegon escapes from the Keep. He wants to avoid reality. He spends his days with Sunfyre, and every time he takes his golden dragon to the skies, he thinks for a moment about flying away. But Aegon comes back every afternoon. One bath and a cup of wine later, he has usually disappeared from the Keep again. He spends his nights with drinking, gambling and prostitutes.

But he cannot run away from reality. When his mother waits for him in his chambers three days before the wedding, holding his elaborate embroidered weddingshirt Aegon feels unwell.

"Mother I don't want to get married," he says but tries on his wedding outfit without complaining. The tailors bustle around him, and one accidentally pricks his skin with a needle. Aegon flinches but bites his lip to suppress a curse.

"It must be," Alicent replies, smoothing the embroidered fabric over her chest before taking a step back and looking at her eldest son. Aegon cannot read her facial expressions. He has never been good at that. How is he supposed to recognize emotions when he can't even sort out his own feelings?

"Why?" he asks defiantly. A thousand times he had asked this question and never received an answer. Now his mother sighs.

"Leave us alone." she commands and all the tailors, pages, and servants leave Aegon's chambers. The feeling of relief only lasts a moment.

His mother moves through his rooms as if they were her own. She goes to the table and first pours herself a cup of wine, and then Aegon. Aegon takes a few steps towards her, takes the cup, and waits so she finally answers his question. Aegon knows that Helaena did not ask for this wedding either. This is all his mothers doing.

"You want to protect your sister, right?"

"Of course." but why doesn't his mother understand that Helaena needs to be protected from him?

"Do you know who is her alternative?" she sounds exhausted.

Aegon didn't even know that there was an alternative. But everyone is better than him. Maybe he could arrange for that other man to marry Heleana in his place? He can smuggle her out of the Keep and bringt her to the man who she deserves. Bring her to a better man. He shakes his head and is already making plans on how he can get Heleana out of the Keep.

"Jacaerys Velaryon."

Aegon's plan is falling apart like a house of cards. He would never allow that his sister have to marry that bastard. All his defiance and anger towards his mother dissipate, and Aegon lets himself fall weakly into the next chair.

"Oh."

His mother doesn't punish him at all. She doesn't punish Helaena either. Alicent protects Helaena.

"Yes. Oh. And even if it weren't Jacaerys, it would be some other Lord who takes her away from us. Do you want that? Do you want to say goodbye to your sister?"

"No," he replies softly. His mother is right. He hadn't looked at it that way before. Aegon sighs and concedes defeat. "I will marry her," he whispers.

Alicent sighs, approaches him and sets down her untouched cup. Her hand caresses gently over his cheek. Her lips are twisted into a sad smile. "You don´t have a choice in this."

Her words should perhaps provide comfort, but they only drain all strength out of Aegon and ensure that he drowns himself even deeper in wine by evening. Only after he has vented all his frustration on one of the prostitutes and is back in his chambers he can cry. He lies on the softest bed linens in all of Westeros, surrounded by expensive food and fine wine, his clothes feel soft against his skin, made from the finest material, surrounded by jewelry and every luxury someone can imagine, yet he smells like a beggar, is as powerless as a small child, and feels as broken as a dead man. Aegon closes his eyes. He wishes he could just disappear, sinking into his mattress as if he had never existed. That would be better. Then all the suffering he has caused would not exist either. Helaena could then be free from him. Perhaps Mother would then marry her to Aemond instead of the Strongbastard.

Aemond. His little brother Aemond. Aegon opens his eyes again, tears streaming from them into the pillows. Aemond wouldn't make it without him. The stubborn, headstrong, disciplined Aemond. Aegon can hardly help but laugh at the thought. Aemond wouldn't know what fun is without him. He would throw himself into his training, obsessed with being a warrior and a scholar. An impossible task. Aegon knows that Aemond does all these things to distract from the fact that he is broken. Aemond is broken in a different way than Aegon. But still broken. He can't leave him alone. His little brother needs him.

Helaena is the only one among them who isn't broken. Helaena is perfect, pure, kind. Helaena is the only one who is good.

And in two days she would be his wife, and he would ruin her. Aegon just manages to turn to the side before he expels the contents of his stomach. It's almost all wine, his esophagus burns from the acidity, and the disgusting taste lingers in his mouth. Aegon would prefer to throw up again, but nothing comes out. He turns onto his back and just stares at the ceiling. When sleep comes Aegon is glad, and just before he loses consciousness he wishes for a second not to wake up again.

**

Aegon chambers are full of servants, pages, tailors, and maids. His brother Aemond sits in an armchair by the fire, looking around with a bored expresion. Aegon know it is his mask. Aemond is already wearing his festive attire, yet he still has steel at his belt around his waist. Aegon has already been bathed and smells of the oils and perfume in which his servants have soaked him in. He is rotting inside. The chaos around him causes a headache, and an uneasy feeling crawls through his stomach. His hands tremble and he longs for a cup of wine. Aegon focuses his gaze on his brother's drumming fingers. On the outside, Aemond appears calm, just like Aegon, but inside he is also tumultuous. Aegon tries not to pay attention to the fact that his chambers have already been rearranged and many of Helaena's belongings were brought in. From this evening on, these will no longer be his chambers but their shared ones, their marital chambers. One of the maids pulls at his hair as she clumsily tries to cut it. Aegon grimaces as his scalp tightens.

"Enough," he says, roughly pushing her away. "Get Helaena. Heleana always cuts my hair," he says. Quickly, the maid curtsies and runs out of the room.

"Our sister will surely prepare for the wedding herself." Aemonds voice comes from the fireplace.

"Probably and she will surely find it lovely when so many people are swirling around her and touching her," he replies grimly. A tailor's apprentice stumbles against a chair while turning, causing a pile of sewing materials to fall to the floor and the chair to scrape against the stone floor with a disgusting noise.

Aegon can't take it anymore and explodes.'"Everyone out of here! I don't want to see anyone anymore who isn't part of my family." he screams and jumps up from the chair. For a second, no one moves, and Aegon tries to calm his heartbeat with heavy breaths. Then the hustle begins again as everyone grabs their things and disappears from Aegon's chambers. Aegon takes two steps and reaches finally for his wine cup. In just a few sips, it's empty, and Aegon pours himself another right away.

"Mother says I should prevent you from drinking today."

"Try to stop me." they both know that Aemond could do that with ease. But hje just shrugs his shoulders.

"Don't worry, not today."

Aegon lowers the cup from his lips and looks at his brother. Aemond's expression is unmoving, but compassion is reflected in his eyes. Aegon does not want his pity, but the fact that it is there calms the fear in his gut just a little bit.

The doors are open again and Helaena steps in. She wears a simple dress made of green silk, yet her hair is already intricately braided and tied back, with a diadem perched on her head. The light catches in the green gemstones. Helaena glances around briefly and then smiles. Aegon is relieved that she is smiling.

"Jen said you want me to cut your hair," she says. Aegon fills his cup with wine once more and then returns to his chair.

"Yes, please." he says and drops himself onto the chair. Helaena takes the scissors and walks over to him.

"She says you were mean." cautiously as always, she begins to cut his hair. Aemond huffs from his spot by the fireplace, which makes Aegon roll his eyes. Helaena remains unruffled. As her hands gently glide over his scalp, Aegon briefly closes his eyes. He rarely allows Helaena to touch him, but in those moments, he wonders why. "Aegon?"

He flinches slightly but then responds. "They annoyed me."

"You should still be nice. They are here on Mother's orders."

"I really tried to stay calm."

"I know. It's all right."

He feels like a little child being scolded by his mother. Only that his mother never explained with gentle words what he had done wrong, she had just screams at him and slaps him. He now he deserves every hit from her.

Helaena sets the scissors aside and gently wipes the loose hairs from Aegon's shirt. His wedding outfit is still lying on the bed. Aegon cannot bear to look at it.

"Thank you," he says and stands up. He is glad that the only mirror he has in his chambers is turned around. He cannot bear to look at himself. "Would you like a cup of wine?" he asks. He knows that Helaena actually has to return to her own chambers.

She nods anyway, and they sit down with Aemond by the fireplace. Quickly Aegon pours wine for Helaena and hands her the cup. He made sure that he always has her favorite type of wine in his chambers. Aegon stares into the fire.

"You both look like you're going to your own funeral." Aemond suddenly says. Aegon and Helaena both look up and then at each other. They look that way because they both feel that way. But then Helaena straightens her shoulders.

"No. I'm doing well," she says then. Aegon doesn't believe her. He takes a sip of his wine to avoid saying anything but Helaena addresses him directly. "Aegon. I am truly doing well. And you?"

He sets down the cup and shrugs his shoulders. The nervous feeling in his stomach is getting worse again. Everything in him screams to run away. But he stays seated and instead starts to play with his fingers. Then he forces a smile onto his face.

"I'm doing well too," he says, managing even to look directly at Helaena. He doesn't know if her smile is genuine.

"Today is not our funeral. Not today. I haven't dreamed of today, and I only dream bad things," says Helaena, and her tone makes him perk up a bit, but the strange feeling disappears right away as he remembers his wine. But before he can take another sip, the doors to his chambers are flung open again. Out of the corner of his eye, Aegon sees Aemond's hand going straight for his sword, and he is ready to jump up but his tense posture disappears immediately when he recognizes their mother.

"I thought you were here, Helaena," Alicent says, sounding relieved. Ser Criston closes the door behind them. Then Alicent's gaze shifts from her daughter to Aegon and the cup of wine in his hand, she grimaces. "Aemond, I asked you to make sure he doesn't drink so much."

"That's his first cup, Mother," Aemond lies, and Aegon sends a silent thank you to the gods for his brother. "We thought we would drink to today's special occasion as siblings."

Alicent nods, "Fine." she agrees. "But Helaena mus get ready now."

Helaena sets down her cup and smiles at her brothers once more. "See you in the Sept." she says. Alicent steps forward and grabs the wine jug from the table before taking Helaena by the hand and leading her to the door. "See you in the Sept" Aegon whispers as Helaena walks past him. His mother stops once more.

"Ser Criston, please make sure that Aegon changes and accompany him to the sept, and remind him that Sunfyre is being guarded by additional guards today," she gives the order before leaving the chambers with Helaena. Aegon sighs, now he has a babysitter too. But at least it's Criston.

"Sit down." Aegon stands up and points to the spot that Helaena has just left. The sworn shield of his mother takes its place. Aegon walks through his chambers and retrieves a new jug of wine from the cupboard. As if he had no reserve. He filles Criston, his brother, and himself a cup and then sits back down in the chair. He would need one more cup of wine before he could put on his wedding attire and make his way to the sept.

Aegon first looks at his brother, then at Criston. He has known this man his whole life, as far back as Aegon can remember, Ser Criston has been his mother's sworn shield.

And as far back as he can remember, he has dutifully carried out her orders. So it is today. He makes sure that Aegon puts on his wedding attire and then takes away the wine so that he doesn't stain the light fabric. The ride in the carriage to the Sept is silent. Aemond rides alongside them on horse back.

Only after Aegon has walked down the long aisle of the great sept, nodded to a few of the Lords and Ladies, and stood next to the Septon at the front, does Ser Criston leave his side and take up his position. Aemond stays next to Aegon, he is glade about his presence. It grounds him. Let him feel less lonley. It takes a moment, but then his mother appears. She smiles when she sees him and nods, then she takes her place next to the king. The Sept becomes quiet. Aegon feels as if he is about to vomit.

Helaena enters the Sept next to her grandfather Otto Hightower. The King felt too weak to walk her down the aisle.

As Helaena steps through the large door, Aegon looks from his brother to the entrance. He has to swallow. Helaena had pinned a delicate veil over her hairstyle, the cream-colored lace cascading down her wedding dress and flowing to the floor. It has the same color as his outfit. They are perfectly matched, as if they belong together. And maybe they do that? Aegon never wanted to admit it, always forbidding himself from even thinking about it,but now he can't help but acknowledge it. Helaena is beautiful. As she gets closer, he realizes that all the people make her uncomfortable. It reveals how she holds onto Otto's hand, her knickles white because of her tight grip. Helaenas gaze shifts restlessly back and forth. But then she looks at Aegon, he is glad that he is smiling at this moment because Helaena also starts smiling. Aegon takes a deep breath and suddenly Otto stands before him, handing over Helaena's hand. Her skin is cold. Aegon carefully pulls back her veil. She is paler than she was an hour ago, yet she bravely keeps a smile on her face.

The Septon begins to speak, but Aegon can hardly understand him. He has a ringing in his ears, he tries to focus on his breathing, but because he can hardly control it, it only makes things worse. Pull yourself together! Breathe in, breathe out. It gets a little better, but it is only the gentle pressure of Helaena's hand that brings him back to the moment. He takes the dagger from the Septon's hand and cuts into his palm, then he hands it to Helaena, and she does the same, grimacing for a brief moment as the blade slices through her skin. When she hands the dagger back to the Septon, her hand trembles. but when Aegon takes her hand, her grip is firm. For a brief moment, Aegon feels her blood running over his hand, but then it mixes with his own and he gets used to it. The Septon binds their joined hands. The only Valyrian part of this wedding ceremony is over, and the Septon is following the script of the Faith of the Seven.

Helaena and Aegon speak the words. They leave a strange feeling on his tongue, but they don't sound wrong. The kiss is nothing more than a slight touch of their lips, and then it’s over. They are married.

He looks at Helaena, she nods and smiles. Then he turns her halfway, and those present begin to clap while the newlyweds walk back down the aisle. Aegon keeps his gaze fixed straight ahead. He cannot look at his mother. Outside a carriage is waiting to take them to a banquet at the Red Keep. Aegon is not hungry. And he doesn't want a banquet, he doesn't want to dance. He would prefer to have something to drink.

Aegon chokes down a bit of the food. Helaena, who is sitting next to him at the high table, hardly touches her food too. Alicent instructed the servants not to give Aegon any wine, but Aemond and Cristion always manage to secretly slip him a cup. Aegon thanks all the gods for the two of them.

Speeches are being given and music is played. Aegon dances exactly one song with Helaena before he flees back to his seat and takes a sip of his wine.

He hates it here, finds all of this repulsive. He can hardly stand to stay in this room for another moment. But he pulls himself together and clings to his chair and his wine.

His gaze sweeps across the room. Helaena is talking with her old nanny. A woman long past her fortieth nameday and one of Helaena's confidants. Alicent couldn't bring herself to send her back home when Helaena got older, so she stays at the Keep in Helaenas services.

Aegon looks at his hands, the nail beds are bloody, yet he can't help but keep picking at his skin. To distract himself he looks at his mother to see if her hands are bloody as well. Alicent sits in here seat next to the king, watching the dancing people. Her foot is tapping to the beat of the music. Aegon had heard that his mother, when she was young, had danced for hours on end with his half-sister. But Viserys is old and sick and hasn't danced in a long time. So his mother doesn't dance anymore either.

The thought is not yet fully formed when Aegon is already on his feet and walking over to his mother. He remembers his courtesies and bows slightly before the queen and the king.

"You allow your Grace?" he says to his father, but he looks at his mother while saying it. She looks surprised at his outstretched hand. Viserys laughs briefly beside him and then suppresses a cough before he responds.

"Of course, of course." his voice almost breaks with joy. Alicent reaches for Aegon's hand and allows him to lead her to the dance floor. The other couples respectfully make room and limit their dancing to the sidelines.

Aegon hopes that enough of the hated dance lessons have stuck with him so that he doesn't completely embarrass himself. But his body seems to remember the dance steps. After a moment of uncertainty he manages to lead his mother safely to the music. She shows a radiant smile, tears welling up in her eyes. Aegon is not quite sure, but he hopes that she is happy.

"I don't know if you remember," Alicent begins to speak softly. "But when you were little, we always danced in my chambers. You were standing on my feet. I hummed the melody because we didn't have any musicians. You always laughed so much." she swallows and her smile trembles.

"I remember it." Aegon lies, feeling a lump forming in his throat. For a brief moment, he does not see his mother, the queen, but Lady Alicent, the young girl she once was. Then guilt overwhelms him, because he is the reason she is no longer that young girl. Through him, she has become a mother. He forced her into the role of a mother.

"And now you are married and grown up." she sounds sad, and Aegon doesn't know what to say. His mother sighs softly, but then confidently executes her dance steps with a quick turn. When Aegon can look at her again, she smiles again. "I am glad that Helaena has you as her husband."

Everything in him wants to scream that she is mistaken. Helaena cannot be happy that he is her husband. But Alicent keeps talking.

"I know that you will protect her. You will be good to her. Because you are my little boy and she my little girl." she sobs and can't manage to keep her smile up. "I'm so sorry."

Aegon is glad that the dance is over at this moment because he feels frozen. His throat is dry, but he knows he has to say something. He wants to say something, but he doesn't know what. His head is empty. And after a blink of an eye, his mother put on her perfect smile again and wearing it like a mask. She takes a step back, and as her hand slips out of his, he feels as if she is slipping away from him. I will not fail you. He wants to say it, but it's too late. Alicent smiles and curtsies, then turns around and walks back to her place next to the king. Viserys claps his hands, and immediately everyone turns to him. Aegon is glad about his father for the first time in his life because he still cannot move.

"It's time. We have decided that there will be no bedding ceremony, so we will now bid farewell to the newlyweds here." Viserys hadn't decided anything at all, it was all his mother. She would probably have burned down the Red Keep before she would have allowed strange men to lift Helaena and tear her clothes off her body. Aegon is glad about that. The attention of the people turns to him, Aegon looks around and is relieved that Helaena is already approaching him. He reaches out his hand and she grabs it. This time her hand doesn't tremble, she stands so close to him that he can feel her body heat. The king stands up unsteadily and reaches for his cup. "Let's drink to the prince and the princess. For health and a good and fruitful marriage." The bystanders also raise their cups. "To the prince and the princess." Helaena and Aegon can only stand there and receive the false blessing. No one cares about them. Aegon can hardly stand it any longer and leads Helaena out of the hall.

Aemond, Ser Criston, and two other Kingsguards follow them to his cambers. He closes the door to his chambers behind Helaena and hin and leans his forehead against the wooden door. He takes a few deep breaths.

Aegon knows that Aemond will now withdraw, just like the Kingsguards. Ser Criston would stand by the door. Aegon's skin crawls at the thought that Criston's task tonight goes beyond just keeping watch. Aegon is not sure if Helaena knows that they are being listened to. He doesn't want to tell her. He is not even sure if he is capable of fulfilling his duty.

Despite it he turns to Helaena. She had taken off her hair ornament from which the veil was hanging and placing it on the table. Her gaze wanders to her things that are already here. Skeptically, she furrows her brows as her fingertips glide over the fabric of the veil.

"Nothing has gone broken." says Aegon. That must surely worry her right? He wishes he could read her thoughts. Are they as confused as her words?

"Tomorrow they will bring the rest of my things," says Helaena, turning her head to look at him. "I'm sorry that you have to share your chambers with me now."

Aegon shrugs his shoulders. It had been a decision, his decision. It doesn't bother him. It is not foreign to him to sleep next to Helaena in a bed. Countless nights, the siblings had crawled into each other's beds. On particularly terrible nights, Aegon had even bring it over him to show up at his mother's doorstep. She never rejected him when he stood before her with tear-streaked cheeks, reeking of wine. She would alway pull him into his arms. No one talked about these nights. It is a silent agreement between Alicent and her children. Aegon imagines that it can be nice to never have to sleep alone again.

"I like having you with me," he says, wanting Helaena to not feel guilty for moving into his chambers.

The two of them are standing indecisively in the room. Aegon would prefer to run away. Instead, he goes to the table and reaches for a cup. "Wine?"

"Mother took your wine with her." Aegon goes to one of the dressers and takes out a carafe with Helaena's favorite wine to pour it into the cup.

"If there's one thing that's for sure it's that I always have some wine hidden somewhere." as he hands her the cup, she smiles gratefully. Helaena takes a big sip while Aegon pours himself a drink. He notices that his hands are not trembling. Only after he has drowned his cup does he dare to say what has been swirling in his mind all evening.

"The dress is beautiful." he takes a deep breath. "You look beautiful."

Helaenas eyes widen in surprise and blood rushes to her cheeks, Helaena begins to play with the fabric of her dress. Now in the candlelight, it shimmers more gold, and Aegon has to swallow at the sight.

"Thank you," she whispers.

Is she insecure? Did he unsettle her? Words form on his tongue, but he swallows them down. He stares at Helaena, he knows he should look away but he can't. Forget it. That's just Helaena. His Helaena? He has known her her whole life. She is now his wife. She is now his Helaena. Or maybe she has always been his? Always been a part of him?

"Is it okay if I say that kind of things?" he feels dumb and insecure. A smile appears on Helaena's face. Aegon is sure that it is real.

"Yes, it's okay. I just didn't expect it. You've never said that you think I'm beautiful."

Aegon takes a deep breath. He chooses absolute honesty, only then does he feel like he is not failing. He has always tried to be better than he is. Now he has to be better than he is. For Helaena. He has no other choice.

"I have never thought it. I forbade myself to see you this way years ago. But today I couldn't help it," he explains. Helaena nods and then takes a sip from her cup before pushing it aside.

"I chose the color of the fabric myself, and then Mother had your festive outfit coordinated with it. It was nice to be able to make a decision." Aegon furrows his brows, trying to find the deeper meaning in her words. Is there even one?

"Can you help me take it off?" It's a bit heavy. Or should I call the maids?"

"No, I can help you," he says quickly. When the doors to these chambers are opened once more, he knows that he cannot hold himself back and would run.

Helaena turns around and Aegon begins to untie the laces of the dress at her back. To his surprise, Helaena starts giggling after a moment.

"What is funny?"

"I was just thinking that you've probably done that a few times already." again, she giggles. She doesn't seem to be angry at all that he has already been with other women. Aegon's lips also curl into a smile.

"Yes. I've done this a few times," he admits as he carefully pulls the fabric over the loose strings, causing the dress to slip from Helaena's shoulders. His breath catches for a moment before he forces himself to take a step back. Helaena pulls the dress off her body, the fabric pooling around her feet, and she steps forward out of her shoes and the dress. Aegon suppresses the need to take a step back again.

Under ber dress, Helaena is wearing a silk nightgown. Aegon can't help but stare at her.

"We can talk around it for half the evening now, but you know what still needs to happen for me to truly be your wife."

Aegon flinches slightly at her words. She is clearly braver than he is. He starts fiddling with his hands again.

"You are right," he says softly.

"I don't know what to do." Helaena says, fiddling with the white fabric of her nightgown.

They dressed her up for him, and that's wicked, and it drives him crazy that it works. He forces himself to turn his gaze away from the almost transparent fabric and the curves beneath it.

Aegon thinks about the whores he takes. Always fast and hard, he never looks them in the eyes, they always have bruises when he is done. He looks at Helaena's pale skin, and when he imagines that it is also stained with bruises, he wants to crawl out of his own skin.

"I don't know either." Silence spreads before Helaena hesitantly begins to speak. "But you already have done…I mean, I often hear about your visits to the brothel."

Aegon laughs joylessly. "Yes," he answers to her unasked question.

He doesn't even need to ask if Helaena is a maiden. Not only did she grew up  under the watchful eyes of her mother as a princess in the Reed Keep, but she is Helaena, the girl who sometimes can hardly bear it when her mother holds her hand. Helaena in a passionate embrace with a man? Aegon can't even imagine it. And in the next moment, he realizes that he has to do the unimaginable today.

"So you know what we have to do?" her cheeks are flushing and stand in contrast to the radiant white of her nightgown. On top of that, the way she looks at him with her big eyes paints the perfect picture of innocence.

Aegon knows that he will be send into the deepest of the Seven Hells because he cannot suppress the burning desire that this sight awakens in him. He wants to take away her innocence. He is a wicked man.

"What happened in Silk Street and in the brothels are things that you don´t do to your wife."

"Oh."

He glances at her briefly, and this time he is sure that she is insecure. He doesn't want her to feel that way. It is now his task to take that  from her. He will not fail. Aegon briefly closes his eyes to sort his thoughts before he speaks.

"There are two ways we can do this. We can see this whole thing as an obligation. We handle it like a task or we try to find passion and pleasure in it. "

"Pleasure? How?"

Aegon must pull himself together so that his thoughts don't drift off to all the ways that could worship her body. Instead he takes a step closer to her. Aegon hesitates for a moment, then places a hand on her cheek. She does not flinch at his touch.

"I can't explain it. I want to show it to you. May I kiss you?"

Helaena nods slightly, and Aegon leans in further and places his lips on hers. The kiss is only brief, like a test. Aegon doesn't know what he had expected, but not that a pleasant warmth would spread within him. And also not that Helaena follows him when he wants to withdraw. He stops and her lips are already on his again.

This kiss is more passionate than he had expected, and Aegon feels a shiver run through him as she parts her lips for him, allowing his tongue to glide over hers. Breathless, Helaena pulls away from him. She rests her forehead against his, Aegon's thumb caress over her neck.

"Did I do it right?" she asks softly. Aegon feels that the only appropriate reaction would be to sink to his knees and pray to her. Instead, he curses quietly before he answers.

"That was perfect. You are perfect."

He strokes her cheeks and kisses her briefly once more. Helena's hands wander over his clothed chest.

"Can you take that off?" she asks, a slight blush already shimmering over her cheeks. Aegon feels the need to relieve some tension from the situation.

"Should the answer to this question ever be no, please take a dagger and stab me," she giggles softly like he had hope. Aegon begins to unbutton his shirt, but Helaena places her hands on his. They are a little warmer than before.

"May I?"

Aegon nods at her question, and Helaena opens his shirt. Her fingers gently glide over the exposed skin, and a shiver runs through Aegon's body. It tickles slightly, and Aegon can't remember the last time someone touched him so tenderly. Gently Helaena strokes his upper body, and Aegon places his hands on her hips. She stops a his chest for a moment they simply stand there breathing in each other's scent. Aego feels calm like he hasn't felt in weeks or was it months?

"Can you let your hair down for me?" Aegon asks into the silence.

Helaena smiles and nods. Then she takes a step back and starts pulling hairpins out of her hairstyle. Aegon's hands lose contact with her hips, and he has to suppress a sigh. While Helaena undoes her braids, she walks back to the table and places her hair clips on it. Aegon pushes his shirt off his shoulders. He runs both hands over his face and takes a deep breath once more. Then he looks over at Helaena. She had already undone almost all of her braids, and her blonde hair was falling over her back. Aegon slowly approaches her. When she undoes the last braid, he places his hands back on her hips and gently pulls her closer to him. She leans into his touch. Aegon stands behind her and gently brushes her blonde hair from her neck and over her shoulder with one hand. Slowly, he leans down and kisses her neck.

Helaena gasps for air, goosebumps rise on her neck.

Aegon is very aware of these two facts, and they send a hot desire racing up his spine. His lips wander up her neck to her earlobe. "I'm not good enough for you," Aegon whispers in her ear. "I am a sick man."

She responds in a heartbeat. "Then I am also a sick woman." Helaene's voice trembles. Aegon needs a moment to understand what she has said. She wants him, desires him. Presumably not in the same twisted way, but in her own way, she desires him. She turns to him, letting her hands wander over his bare arms and shoulders until they rest on his neck.

There is no trace of hesitancy as she speaks. "I want to choose option two. I want to try it with passion and pleasure."

Aegon can no longer resist her. His lips crash onto hers. Helaena presses herself against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Aegon turns them both around, his lips wandering over her cheeks to her neck. He lightly sucks on the pale skin, and Helaeana lets out a moan.

In this moment, Aegon vows to himself that he will find every spot on her body that makes her make those sounds again. He needs all his willpower to tear himself away from her one last time.

"Helaena you look like a goddess in that nightgown but you have to take it off, otherwise I will have to tear it."

Once again Aegon is relieved that she is giggling. Helaena takes half a step back and reaches for the hem of her nightgown to pull it over her head. The fabric carelessly lands on the floor. Aegon doesn't even try to stop himself from letting his gaze wander over her naked body. Of course, she is perfect for him in every way. Hot disire washs over him, like he never experience before.

"Perfect. You are perfect. Beautiful." he says before even a trace of uncertainty can appear in her. Helaena smiles. Aegon glides her to the side of his bed. As she stands before him, his arms slide to her knee pit, and with a smooth motion, he lifts her onto the bed. Helaena shifts and adjusts a bit on the soft sheets.

This morning, Aegon had observed how the maids had changed the bed sheets with fresh white sheets. Sheets just for this one night. Aegon quickly pushes the thought away. He wants to concentrate on the beautiful, naked woman in his bed now.

He follows Helaena onto the bed. His lips find hers again as he bends over her. Helaena's hands caress his shoulders and Aegon gets goosebumps.

Some of his blood has long since wander down from his brain and he feels his hardness pressing against his pants. The kiss becomes more intense and he lets a little more of his weight sink onto her. Helaena leans towards him and wraps her legs around his waist. The sudden contact makes Aegon moan softly. Helaena rubs herself against him and moans softly into the kiss. Her hands clench and he feels her nails lightly scratching the skin on his shoulders. Aegon suppresses a curse and a groan.

"Are you okay?" he asks. He has to make sure one last time that he is not completely misinterpreting this whole situation. He has to make sure that he is not failing her.

"Yes, I am fine. That feels good." Helaena answers him quietly.

"Yes." he groans. "But you have to stop." She stops moving immediately and takes her legs off him, afraid of doing something wrong, but Aegon continues. "Otherwise I'll come in my pants like a twelve-year-old."

"Is that a bad thing?" she asks innocently and strokes the hair on his neck.

"Well, that would be very embarrassing for me." he grins at her neck and moves a little lower to her breasts. Gently he presses her hips down with one hand to prevent her from unconsciously rub against him again. It turns him on so much that he would probably actually come in his pants. Aegon kisses her breast while his other hand gently strokes the other's nipple. Helaena lays her head back on the pillow and bends towards his hand. Her breathing is rapid and Aegon has never seen a more beautiful sight in his life. He would like to sink his teeth into the pale skin under his lips. He wants to mark her as his, but he suppresses this urge. She is innocent. Don't drag her into your abyss. At least try to keep her away from that abyss for as long as possible.

Instead he pushes his hand along her hips a little further towards her middle. Would she let him touch her there? His hand wanders a little lower and then he notices how Helaena spreads her legs further for him. She makes room for him and Aegon lets his hand wander the last bit. When he notices how wet she is, he groans. The next moment he lets go of her breasts and instead bends up to kiss her lips. Helaena gasps at his sudden movement. Aegon wipes his finger on the bedsheet and puts his other hand on Helaena's cheek. She looks at him curiously he also recognizes lust in her eyes.

"I want you to relax. Is that possible?"

"Yes." Helaena leans back slightly into the pillows her hands sliding from his shoulders and resting on the soft bed linens beside her body.

"Good." says Aegon and kisses her lips once more. "You have to tell me if something doesn't please you or doesn't feel right." he kisses her cheeks and plays with one of her strands of hair. "And you have to tell me when you like something and it feels good." he kisses her other cheek, and Helaena giggles softly again. "Can you promise me that?"

"I promise it."

"Good Girl." his voice is a bit rough, and Helaena whimpers beneath him. Aegon's lips wander again over her neck, his hands gently glide over her body. He takes his time. He caresses the soft skin of her perfect hips, letting his lips and tongue wander over her nipples and kissing down her belly. He enjoys the feeling of her writhing beneath him, the soft whimpering and moaning searing into his brain, and Aegon already knows that he will become rock hard just from the memory. He shifts his weight back and sits back. Helaena's breath comes heavily, and she looks at him with half-closed pleasure-drenched eyes. Aegon lets his gaze wander over her perfect body. They say Targaryen are closer to gods than humans and as she lies naked in front of him, Aegon believes it. He looks forward to all the future nights he will spend exploring every inch of her body. Then he makes himself comfortable between her legs. He places her slender leg over his shoulder and begins to kiss her thigh. Helaena gasps slightly in shock, but then reaches out to him and his touches. Aegon kisses her thigh downwards with practiced ease. If Aegon learned anything during his years in Flea Bottom and Silk Street than how to satisfy a woman. Her wetness glistens slightly in the candlelight, and Aegon can hardly wait to taste her. The desire surprises him but he allows it. Enjoys it even so he let himself dive into his lust.

Just before he finally reaches her center with his lips Helaena flinches slightly and sits up a bit in bed. Aegon lets her withdraw and loosens his grip around her legs slightly as he looks up at her.

"Is that appropriate?" Helaean asks, and Aegon could die right here and now because he has seen all the beauty of this world. He lightly kisses the inner side of her thigh and lets his fingers glide over her bare skin.

"Yes" he replies then. "That is even necessary so that you have as little pain as possible."

"The pain is going to be bad, isn't it?"

"I don't know." he says honestly. He had never cared about the woman pain. Now nothing is more important to him than Helaena's well-being. "But I am as careful as I can be. Hurting you is the last thing I want."

"Okay. I trust you, Aegon." she lies back down on the pillow and stretches out toward him again. Aegon thanks the gods for Helaena before he kisses down her thigh again and finally he can close his lips over her center. Helaena gasps and Aegon pulls back slightly to give her a moment to adjust to the new feeling. Her wet middle is right in front of him and he has to hold himself back from diving into her as if she is his last meal. Aegon can hardly wait to slide his cock between her wet folds. At the thought his cock twitches in his pants. Aegon closes his eyes for a moment. He needs to pull himself together. He can´t fail now. Not with Helaena.

He leans forward again and as his tongue glides gently through her folds. He can't suppress a moan. She tastes better than anything that has ever touched his lips. She flinches slightly, but Aegon gently holds her at her thighs. He dives into her, licking carefully upwards to her clitoris. He carefully sucks on it and is rewarded with a moan from Helaena. Aegon needs all his willpower not to completely dive in. Pull yourself together! You can´t overwhelm her.

So Aegon takes his time, his tongue explores her folds, leaving no spot untouched. He lets his tongue glide over her center and her pearl, alternating the rhythm and intensity. He remembers exactly which spot, which movement elicits a whimper or moan from Helaena. She writhes beneath him, stretching out towards him.

"Aegon." his name slips from her lips as her hand buries itself in his blonde hair. It's over, all restraint is breaking down. He dives deep in. His tongue glides into her, curling inside her. Once again, she moans his name. Aegon feels her moisture running down his chin, soaking him. He licks up every single drop. She twitches, her legs begin to tremble, and her hands claw into the sheet beneath her.

"Aegon stop."

Immediately he withdraws although everything in him screams to continue. Worry floods through him. Was it too much? Did he fail? He looks up at her.

"Are you in pain?"

"No. It felt good. But there was such a tension in me, a knot. Is that normal?"

Aegon has to bite his lips to avoid cursing or groaning. His cock twitches at the thought that Helanena ruined her first orgasm because of her innocence. It shouldn't turn him on that much. He is wicked.

"Yes, that is normal. Let it happen. It will feel good." he leans forward again and sucks on her pearl. "Let yourself fall."

She relaxes again, trusts him completely with her body. Helaena lets out a sigh as Aegon glides his tongue between her folds once more, Her legs tremble again. She writhes beneath him, but Aegon only quickens his tongue's strokes. Helaena moans loudly, Aegon notices how she pulsates around his tongue and starts to twitch. And then she comes onto his tongue. Her whole body shakes as she leans toward him once more before collapsing with a groan. He carefully licks up her cum wanting to taste every drop. Only when she stops twitching and pulsating he lets go from her.

Trembling and breathing heavily she looks at him with wide eyes. He kisses the inside of her thighs, caresses her belly, her hips. Under his fingertips, she gets goosebumps. His cock pulses almost painfully against his pants.

"Are you good?"

She nods vigorously. "Yes. I´m good. It was... I have no idea what that was. I let myself fall." she sighs and lets her head fall back into the soft pillows. Her loose hair forms a crown around her head. Once again Aegon can't help but think that she looks like a goddess. How could he have been so blind all this time? "Is it always like this? I mean, if we share the bed, will it always feel this good?" she asks while stroking his neck and running her fingers through his hair.

Aegon doesn't even try to suppress a moan at her touch. He lets his lips wander over the soft skin again. He can't get enough. She leans towards him again, relaxing right beneath him. He breaks free to answer her.

"I will do my best to make you always feel like this." he says secretly vowing to himself that he will never come with his cock near her before the bed sheets are stained with her wetness and she has moaned his name at least once in a moment of passionate climax. His hand caresses her waist, she doesn't flinch. "Are you ready?" he asks before kissing her slender belly.

"For the consummation? Yes!"

He laughs softly. He would have never dared to dream that she is so eager to be dishonored by him.

"Not yet." he carefully slides a finger into her. Helaena gasps for air, but she doesn't pull away. "How does this feel?"

"It feels strange. But not bad. Unfamiliar."

He nods, pushing his finger a little deeper into her tightness, up to the second knuckle. He carefully curled his finger. Helaena stretches towards him she doesn´t even trying to suppress her whimpers and moans. Her wetness runs over his hands, he carefully adds a second finger. She is so damn tight that for a brief moment he doubts if she can take him. He moves his fingers slowly and then slightly spread them, trying to prepare her. His thumb caresses over her clitoris. Helaena cries out in pleasure and begins to move with him. Aegon stops his movement for a moment, but Helaena simply starts to pleasure herself on his fingers. He can't take his eyes off this sight. He has never seen anything so hot. He notices how she pulses around his fingers, her hips moving faster. Aegon can't wait any longer. It must be enough. He has to have her now. Aegon carefully pulls his fingers out of her. She lets out a disappointed whimper. He sits up, letting his gaze wander over her body once more. His eyes stop on her breasts with the erect nipples. He bends forward to close his lips around it. His cock is throbbing painfully again and craving his attention. Aegon thoughts start racing, he definitely doesn't want to hurt her and is afraid that he is too big for her.

"Let's switch places. You can sit on me, then you can have the control," Aegon suggests. Helaena briefly furrows her brows as she thinks, then her cheeks turn red and she shakes her head.

"What if I do something wrong?"

"You can't do anything wrong," he explains to her, stroking her cheek. She leans into his touch, close her eyes for a moment. Aegon yields to the need, leans forward and kisses her forehead.

"I am unsure," says Helaena. "Is there another way?"

"Oh sweet Helaena," he sighs kisses her cheek. Thenhe wanders with his lips to her neck and then up to her earlobe. He bites carefully, and Helaena lets out a soft moan. Her eyes stay closed as she tilts her head to the side to give him more space. "There are thousands ways and if you allow it, I will show you each and every one." She giggles softly. When he sucks on her neck, she moans.

"Yes please," she says. Aegon thinks for a second that he's going to comes like a twelve-year-old. He releases her neck braces himself on his arms to avoid putting all his weight on her, and looks at her. Her eyes are drenched in desire, a few dops of sweat have gathered on her forehead. His gaze lingers on the red hickey on her neck. It is clearly marked on her porcelain skin. He has marked her as his own. Aegon takes a deep breath and kisses her briefly on the lips. He climbs out of bed and starts to unbutton his pants. Helaena watches him. As he pulls down his pants and his member springs free, her eyes widen slightly. He is hard and pre-cum is leaking from the tip. Helaena looks like a shocked deer. Aegon knows that he is not small, above average and for the first time in his life, he wishes it weren't like this. Everything in him resists causing her pain. He comes back to bed positioning himself between her legs which she opens for him. He kisses her, and Helaena returns the kiss, their tongues playing around each other. Her hands caress his neck, running up and down his back and over his shoulders. Everywhere she touches him he gets goosebumps and his skin tingles. Aegon lets his hands wander over her breasts, his lips move over her neck, continuing down to her collarbone and then to her breasts. He sucks on her nipple while his fingers caress the other one. She gasps and stretches out towards him again, her hips twitching and her waist rubbing against his shaft. Aegon groans at her breasts. He extends his hardness into her moisture. Helaena crys and he captures her lips in a kiss. Aegon shifts his weight slightly and pushes his tip between her folds. Helaena takes a sharp breath. Aegon needs every shred of self-control not to mercilessly hammer into her. Hot desire races up his spine, he feels how his cock twitches inside her. He has to breathe deeply to avoid coming right away. His hand grips her hip, he gently presses her into the sheets to keep her still. If she twitched upwards now, he wouldn't be able to hold back. He needs it to ground himself. Slowly, he pushes himself forward. She whimpers beneath him, slightly grimacing in pain. Aegon stops in his movement.

"Should we stop?"

"No!" she claws at his shoulders, the slight pain as her nails dig into his skin makes him moan softly. "Please don't. I want the Aegon." she leans up to him and kisses him. This time it is her tongue that glides into his mouth and plays with his.

He continues to sink into her his tip gliding inside her, she is so damn tight. Aegon noticed how her wetness ran down his cock. He feels a resistance and stops. He slowly pulls out again. He caresses her body, kisses her soft skin, and then slowly thrusts in again. This time she manages to take him a little further before he pulls back again. Inch by inch he slides inside her.

Helaena tenses up a bit while Aegon tries to distract her with kisses, kissing her neck and allowing himself to nibble on her skin. Careful not to leave any bite marks. With his next thrust, Helaena bites her lip to keep from screaming as he fully enters her for the first time. Aegon's whole body is tense as his cock is enveloped by her warm tightness. He trembles but tries to stay as still as possible while she gets used to him. Helaena takes a deep breath. Then she places her hand on Aegon's cheek strokes it and smiles.

"I'm doing well," she says even though tears are welling up in her eyes. Aegon can't help but kiss her. It is a soft, innocent kiss. But only for a few moments. Helaena wraps her arms around his neck, pulls him closer, and then pushes her hips forward as a sign that she is ready. Aegon moans at her lips. He completely withdraws only to then glide fully between her folds again.

What has he done to deserve something so good? He is a broken man. A sick man. But as he sinks into the wet warmth between her legs, he is sure that the gods have forgiven all his sins and rewarding him with heaven.

He maintains a slow rhythm, even though everything in him screams to selfishly take her and spill his seed deep inside her. Helaena moves her hips with his, her breath quickens, her kisses become sloppy. Aegon reaches for her hand, intertwining their fingers. With the next thrust, Helaena moans again and wraps her legs around his hips. So she pushes him further inside her and Aegon curses against her lips. He won't last long.

Aegons hand wanders between her bodies and he begins to gently rub her pearl with the flat of his hand while continuing to thrust into her. She moves with him, fitting him like a glove. Aegon feels as if they fit together perfectly. Sweat drips from his forehead. He notices how she trembles again, her walls pulsating around him as she moans. His name falls from her lips. Aegon quickens his movements around her clit, and then she comes. As she pulls him in and starts clenching abround him, she drags him over the cliff with her. Aegon moans her name like a prayer as he comes, painting her walls white as he spills into her. He moves his hips carefully, riding out their orgasms before collapsing on top of her. He tries to keep his weight off her, but she wraps herself around him and pulls him closer. Helaena starts to scratch his neck. Aegon buries his face in the curve of her neck and takes a deep breath of her scent while trying to calm his pulse. He notices how Helaena is still pulsating around him. He gently pushes his hip a little forward. Helaena inhales sharply before she lets out a groan. A moan escapes his lips as he gently thrusts one last time, and then they both sink into each other, completely overstimulated. For a few heartbeats they remain like that. Helaena tucks a blonde strand of hair behind his ears. Aegon leans into her touch.

"You did not fail me," she whispers in his ear. Aegon notices how tears gather in his eyes. He quickly closes his eyes to prevent himself from crying. He breathes in the scent of Helaena's hair deeply and swallows his tears. For a brief moment, he still enjoys the feeling of her scratching his neck. Then Aegon carefully pulls himself out of her and rolls from her.

He doesn't know what to say. Should he say anything at all? Or would he say exactly the wrong thing now? Aegon remains silent and simply pulls Helaena into his arms instead. He kisses her lips and then her forehead. She wraps her arms around him and snuggles up to him. Gently, her fingertips glide over his shoulders. Aegon closes his eyes and pulls her closer to him at her waist.

Helaena takes a deep breath, turns slightly in his arm to look at him.

"The way you have give me pleasure." she starts. "How can I do that for you?" Aegon laughs softly and kisses her forehead. "Oh sweet wife. First of all it gives me the greatest satisfaction to see you come, and secondly, we still have enough time for that." Helaena smiles and nods. She snuggles back into his arms. Of course, her head fits perfectly in the crook of his shoulder.

"Okay sweet Husband."

It's the first time she calls him that and it makes Aegon's heart race for a brief moment. Maybe he wouldn't drag her into his abyss. Maybe she would pull him a little away from his darkness.